ABOVE: (center) Sarah Marie; photo via Instagram; (left and right, respectively) “Cheers to Futures Past” and “I am the Dragon Breathing Fire” NFTs featuring a pin-upped ETHegirl; via OpeneSea
Thanks for tuning in to Episode 45 of INDIEcent Exposure. I am your master of ceremonies, the mongrel, and I have to say, this is an episode of INDIEcent Exposure like no other that’s come before or probably that will ever follow. We will start off with a couple of great tunes I’ve been meaning to share with you but, the bulk of this extended episode will be an interview that I had with the brilliant, talented, brassy, sassy, and lovely actress, singer, model and crypto-entrepreneur, Sarah Marie, a.k.a. Ethegirl.
The main topic of our conversation was meant to be all about her new collection of highly stylized NFTs, inspired by pin-up art of yore but radiating with a powerful nd competent femininity that is finally getting the appreciating it deserves in more areas of professional and public life. What actually happened is that we talked about absolutely everything under the sun, and I had the opportunity to find out just what a multifaceted talent she is. We talked dogs. We talked personal safety. We talked family dynamics. We talked hunting and gaming and living and loving and trying to hustle a comfortable place for yourself on this planet at the near edge of Armageddon.
As I said, I’ve never brought you a conversation like this before, and I did NOT edit for length because when you’re hearing about her in the mainstream media, I want you to be able to say, “Yeah, I knew all about her good shit back in the day.” While you’re listening you should really take in her gallery of NFTs so you can get a sense of just what and who I’m talking about. There’s a link at the top of the shownotes, but if you’re not able to read the show notes on your podcatcher of choice, the link is opensea.io/ETHegirl — again, that’s opensea.io/ETHegirl
And we’ll roll that interview right after we roll a track from another of my favorite ladies, Kendra Black who released the album The Fire in 2019. For those of you who heard my interview with her, you know that there are many sides to her as well, but we’ll stick to her music right now with the tune “I’m better,” right here on INDIEcent Exposure.
Editor’s Note: We pay to have rough transcripts of interviews produced. We attempt to remain as faithful as possible to the speakers’ original meaning, and apologize for any errors of transcription. That said, even the imperfect transcription we perform is costly. Please support us financially by becoming a member or making a one-time contribution to help us continue to provide this service.
the mongrel: And with me on the line, actually, Skype is the one and only ETHegirl, Sarah Marie. Sarah, thank you for joining us on the show again. Again, I guess we should tell the listeners. Yeah, we should. Should we should because it’s going to sound like we’ve rehearsed this in some spots because we kind of have. We had a lovely conversation yesterday at about 2:00 PM Eastern time, and then my text hit the bed and we lost about 45 minutes worth of conversation.
ETHegirl: Actually an hour and 15.
the mongrel: Oh, but who’s counting? Right. And and it was we said a lot of great things. We we had a lot of laughs, became good friends. And fortunately we became good enough friends that when I told Sara Marie that everything just just crashed and burned, she was kind enough to say, All right, I’ll get up at at 730 in the morning to be ready to do the show all over again. And so I have to say thank you, Sara Marie.
ETHegirl: And of course, yeah, no problem. I am. I have walked to the wolf. I have a wolf. So he’s taking care of I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping next to me, but he’s too silent to hear.
the mongrel: And full, full bread, full blood, Wolf.
ETHegirl: He’s he’s 25% gray, Wolf. The other part of him is German Shepherd, Siberian husky, Alaskan malamute. And then he has some chow chow in there.
the mongrel: Oh, my gosh. So, you know, we didn’t even talk about that. But let’s let’s start that with that. Oh, Wolf is a and a chow. The chow is an extremely alpha kind of dog. Yeah, my my sister had a chow named Doyle.
the mongrel: He was a great dog. And. But he would not mind her. Yeah. Yeah.
ETHegirl: He’s cold. Definitely got some.
the mongrel: Of that in him. Yeah. She, he.
ETHegirl: Also has good he also has all those other dogs like all those other dogs that I just named off. They’re very similar. They don’t really like to, they don’t go by the rules. They have their own agenda going.
the mongrel: Well I was going to say they they comply. They don’t obey. They comply because because they’re like they understand. So what what made you decide to take on a a dog parent beast, beast like that when other people would probably be terrified. Yeah.
ETHegirl: So long story short, he was bought as a baby in the Sherman Oaks area. I’m assuming he was bought and they kept on leaving him home alone for 24, 48 hours plus at a time. And he would get out and one day he got out and he got hit by a car. And I think it was like his third escape and animal control was like, Hey, we warn you guys, he keeps getting out. He got hit like, you guys are taking care of him, so we’re not going to give him back. And fortunately, he’s. Or was young enough to. They decided he was young enough, so they got him all repaired because the car accident shattered the back leg. His back left leg. Yeah, but he was such a he was a puppy. So they fixed him up really good and fast. And they also fixed him. They gave him all his shots and then they didn’t really have anywhere to put him. So they put him in like, this little halfway house for cats. And so when I met him, he was the second dog. I met actually the third dog, the other ones that just didn’t. It’s like when, you know, you know. Yeah. So I met him. I went to this cat sanctuary and he comes flying out of the fucking house and with all these cats around and I’m like, Oh my God. And I look at this guy and he is just so hyper and so, like, just he’s crazy. And I just looked at him. I was like, Oh my God, only I can take you. And then we went on a walk, and by the end of the walk I was like, Oh yeah, this is my dog. As crazy as fuck as he is, this is my animal. And yeah, ever since then I had him.
the mongrel: Yeah, it can be love at first sight like that. More so I think with a dog than than with the human being.
ETHegirl: More so it was like you’re crazy as fuck. No one else can handle you but me. And I was like, So I need to take you. I need to take you under my belt.
the mongrel: Yeah. The four-legged in our house is a is a, is a Dixie dog and Dixie Dogs. There’s so many people who don’t spay or neuter their pets down south. Yeah. That it means that there are some amazing dogs down there that you can adopt. They bring them up here, they put them on a truck and they bring like 100 at a time. And you pick them out ahead of time.
ETHegirl: Yeah. I don’t I don’t know how I feel about that.
the mongrel: Well, I mean they’re going to get put down. I mean, that’s the thing they mean.
ETHegirl: Well, no, what I what I don’t.
the mongrel: Go ahead.
ETHegirl: The the it’s weird. It’s like I of course, like if I had the option, would I want to get my dog fixed? It’s like obviously I’m going to know, like, who’s he’s he’s around. I’m going to know that he can’t like, I wouldn’t let him impregnate a female dog, but yeah, I don’t I don’t know how I feel.
the mongrel: About all the all that stuff. Well, it’s, you know, it’s it’s a tricky business. It’s the thing is, up up here, north in Yankee Ville, most people do get their their dogs spayed or neutered. And what happens is if you go into if you’re going to adopt a dog from the Humane Society, I mean, when we were looking, what you had was rescued pit bulls. They were like half people, half shepherd, pit bull, half, you know, saber tooth tiger. There were a lot of dogs that may, may or may not have been like drug dealer dogs and was just like, it’s like really? And when you’ve got kids, you’re like, I don’t know if I want that in the house. So yeah, but if you go to the Dixie Dog site, they have, you know, golden retrievers and they have, you know, poodles and Chihuahuas and you name it, they’ve got it. And it’s not like it’s an industry. It’s just that there’s so many that get dropped off at the Humane Society. I know their choice is either, you know, and this one, she’s a mountain feist, which is like this little, little sausage dog. She’s kind of like a funny looking dog, but she clearly was an escape artist. Oh, yeah. Because she she’s really good at it. And you could tell that she lived on the road on her own by her wits. You’d get along with it. She lived by her wits for at least a probably six, eight months before you finally caught her. Yeah. And so she’s. She’s really. She obeys my wife. She tolerates me.
ETHegirl: That’s a it’s the other way around with me. I’m tolerated. And he obeys my boyfriend.
the mongrel: It’s. Yeah, yeah, it’s. It’s tough. It’s tough because, you know. Go ahead.
ETHegirl: Oh, no. I was just going to say, I think he tolerates we got this dynamic going on where it’s more of like a brother sister dynamic.
the mongrel: Got it.
ETHegirl: And yes. And it’s like, I know he loves me with everything he’s got. Like he is just my shadow, he is my protector, but he’s a little shit to me and he knows he can push me around. And so that’s why he does sometimes. And it drives me crazy.
the mongrel: Yeah, we had a we had a we had a dog called a it’s a German dog called a hoverboard, which it’s a beautiful dog. It’s imagine a Newfoundland. Big Shaggy Newfoundland. Oh yeah. But with the markings of a Rottweiler. Oh, my God, that’s gorgeous. Gorgeous dogs and super smart. They’re the precursor to the German Shepherd. Yeah, And their name means guardian of the farm or guardian of the estate. And that’s what they are. They’re so obsessed about making sure that all the shit is locked down where they live, that they’re.
the mongrel: Cool that they tend not to stray because they can’t imagine what might be going on, what kind of shit might be going down if they if they were to leave.
ETHegirl: Such Type-A dogs.
the mongrel: They’re really type A and he we got an adult, an intact male who is already three years old, He was looking for a new home and he just did not listen to my wife at all. I mean and the thing is, he would behave really well around me. And so it was it was a long time before I was like, You sing all this shit about his name with Salem, You talk all this shit about him. He’s a good boy. She’s like, Okay. Does what? Does the way he is around you. And then there’s who he actually is. Yeah. And then it turned out that he was like, So Alpha. My kids were little and he snapped at one of them and it was it was a bad scene. We shipped him back to the breeder. No harm, no foul. But I would love to raise one from a puppy one day. Anyway. So we’re talking dogs, We’re talking. We’re talking alpha dogs. And even, you know, even the fact that he does treat you like a little sister still, that suggests to me that that’s in line with who ETHegirl is as a strong, successful entrepreneurial woman in the 21st century.
ETHegirl: Yeah, he’s.
the mongrel: Companion. He’s a companion. And I’m sure I’m sure he’s a really reassuring presence to have on walks.
ETHegirl: Oh, my God. Yeah. People part the sees Betty.
the mongrel: Many people who look at him like.
ETHegirl: I am greatest.
the mongrel: I’m not going to smile at you. Yeah, I’m not even going to wave heights.
ETHegirl: But it is cute when they see him with me. Like when. When little women see him with me, they’ll be the first one to approach him. And no one, no one else would. But it’s like if they’re. If they look at me and they see me and they’re like my size. Woman Oh, he’s safe. And they go, they clobber him.
the mongrel: And I love it. And he laps it all up with the spoon.
ETHegirl: Oh, he loves it. He loves it.
the mongrel: So we we started talking yesterday, kind of, you know, your back story. I made the mistake of thinking that just because you’re up in northern your origins or Northern California, that you are a country girl and you corrected me, although I went back and read an article about your you’re getting into your being a finalist for Maxim. And you you did describe yourself as a Nevada country girl. So I’m going to hold you to that.
ETHegirl: Yeah. No. And like I said, like I was like such a chameleon. I didn’t fit anywhere. It’s I kind of just I kind of experienced everything. But mainly my my family was very hippie, like my mom and my aunt. Like I was saying yesterday, my aunt was born in a teepee outside of Houston, Texas, on a commune. So my oh, my, she has a lot of Cherokee Indian in her. So we were very hippie. But, you know, then I started hanging out with different people and I never fit in any place. So I would just, you know, I would hop to group to group. And one of the groups that I stayed in for quite a bit, they happened to be hunters and the really respectful kind, and they taught me everything I know with firearms and they taught me how to protect myself in that way with those things. And yeah, they taught me a lot and I think that’s where the country comes to be.
the mongrel: Gotcha. Yeah. Now, there’s some good hunting in Northern California.
ETHegirl: Oh, there is. If you can get a good deer tag.
the mongrel: Is it is it expensive? It’s very.
ETHegirl: Difficult. It’s it’s expensive and it’s difficult. A lot of people want to hunt. So your chances of getting the zone that you want is is pretty hard to get, huh?
the mongrel: That’s interesting. Massachusetts. It’s pretty it’s pretty easy. And yeah, we. I need more hunters here because the deer population is exploding. Yeah, and people don’t realize if you don’t have. Something to thin the herd. It gets you’re going to get diseased animals. You’re going to get sick.
ETHegirl: Oh, yeah, Yeah. You’re going to yeah, you’re going to get that or you’re going to get inbred or are you going to get there’s something’s going to go wrong.
the mongrel: And you’re going to be hitting them in your car at 60 miles an hour.
ETHegirl: Add that to that, too, and that could hurt you.
the mongrel: So no hunting. I mean, hunting is a thing and there’s a reason that’s a thing.
ETHegirl: Yeah. In the state of California, I feel like there are just so many people that want to hunt. And I feel like those people don’t understand that there’s so many states that actually really need help in that area. Hmm. I mean, I would I would love to deer hunt where you’re at, especially if it’s, like, overpopulated.
the mongrel: Yeah, it’s and it’s really there’s some really gorgeous, gorgeous domains to choose from. I mean, it’s, you know, New England cold, crisp mornings. Yeah. Really, It’s it’s a thing.
ETHegirl: Yeah, But, you know, one deer that gives you meat all year if done properly.
the mongrel: Yeah. Yeah. No, I have. I have always wanted to do bow hunting and I’ve never, I’ve never tried that. And because I think that kind of fits my, I think that would be my, my, my sort of my Zen moment. Yeah. Being out there because, you know, you’ve got to get really pretty close and then you got to be quiet and you get to sort of know your terrain really well. And I feel like that would be like my thing.
the mongrel: Compound bow.
ETHegirl: That. Yeah. I honestly, I think I’m too tiny for the compound. Bone bows. I definitely could get one for my size and could learn, but I just haven’t touched base on that at all.
the mongrel: Yeah. No there’s, there’s, there’s, there is a strength factor and a size factor. I mean, yeah. Those suckers, you know, pulling those back or, or.
ETHegirl: Oh, Jesus Christ.
the mongrel: Like I just. But you’re in good shape though. I. You seem to have some, some good muscle tone there. Yeah. I guess you’ve got the strength for it. It’s just getting used to it.
ETHegirl: Yeah. No, I definitely I definitely have the muscles for it, but it’s. I feel like also would be one of those things where if I got a compound bow, take a lot of time to learn and to it just it would be time consuming.
the mongrel: Right.
ETHegirl: And I feel like there is so much more that I still have to learn and all the other areas with like.
the mongrel: Yeah, I get you trying to get your acting career, you know? Yeah. And rowing and you’re trying to do more modeling and yeah, there’s only one life here. That’s the thing that sucks.
ETHegirl: I know, I know. But I would like to. I would like to hunt, like, soon, Probably within this next year. I would love to either deer hunt or. But then I would have to get the industrial sized freezer or duck on. I love duck hunting.
the mongrel: Hmm. Duck hunting? Yeah. I don’t know if Tuscany is as big here as as it is in other places. I know that. And the like. The mid-Atlantic, you know, Carolinas and places like that. The big duck hunting down there. Yeah, but, you know, hey, I’ve got friends who are big hunters here. If you should decide to take a trip out to Massachusetts. Yeah, I would love to. I’ll hook you up with these guys. They’re good guys, and they’ll. They’ll set you up, and they have the freezer, right? So what you do is you arrange with them to store your kill, and it’ll all be like freezer pack. Right, right, right. And that way, when you want it, you just pay a to ship it out there in a cooler.
ETHegirl: Oh, I like that. I like to do that. That’s a good.
the mongrel: Service. I think. You know, actually that’s that is a good service. Maybe that’s a great service. Yeah. It pays better than journalism. So. So let’s talk about your origins. Yes, hippie. You’re actually on your birth certificate. It’s. It’s. It’s glowing. Moonbeam, I think, is probably your name.
ETHegirl: I it would be. It would be Sunbeam.
the mongrel: Sunbeam, Sunbeam. So the that that you left you’ve actually traveled around a bit and you were getting your your modeling career going and acting career pretty early on. How how old were you when you kind of get started with that?
ETHegirl: So to reiterate from yesterday when I did.
the mongrel: Keep rubbing that in, are, you.
ETHegirl: Know, no, no.
the mongrel: No.
ETHegirl: I want people to know and and I’m trying to think of, like, new ways to say it. So it’s not the same conversation. Got it. I think I’m doing pretty good. So when I was young, I did. Commercials. When I was very young, I don’t know where to find them at this point. Yeah, I started doing that. And then I did do the modeling thing here and there, but with the commercials, I there was a brief time where I took a hiatus because at the time of when I was like three going on to four, that’s when my speech impediment started kind of holding me back from things. And I couldn’t say my hours or my asses. And so I had to go to a speech therapy for a long time. So there was like a bunch of commercials when I was like cute and tiny and didn’t have to say much. And for the modeling thing, that was kind of all throughout my life, I didn’t really consider it modeling. I just considered it, you know, photos were being taken of me. But yeah, so the commercial thing was when I was very young, it was like for small town stuff.
the mongrel: Yeah, well, I did I did the speech therapy myself as, as we talked yesterday, I couldn’t say my R’s. And I still I kind of said like Humphrey Bogart, kind of out of the side of my mouth.
the mongrel: Yeah. And, and I still sometimes slide into that after probably after that martini that I had last night, probably a little bit that I know did the Bogart thing there.
ETHegirl: I understand.
the mongrel: It.
ETHegirl: But you know what’s funny about that is I actually so I couldn’t say my R’s or my asses. And I’ve noticed and this is like really recently that when I say my R’s and my ass is the left side of my face does something way different. And that is tied in with why people think I look like Scarlett Johansson, because she does this thing with the left side of her face. I couldn’t be getting it wrong either on the right side of her face or the left side of her face. But we do the same shit, and I don’t know how to stop it.
the mongrel: I wonder if she had speech. Speech impediment?
ETHegirl: I have no idea. But when people say that I look like her, like I get a couple people like. But majority of the time it’s that I look like her. And it’s I really do think it’s because she talks with, like, the left side of her face. And I and I do that as well. And that’s because I have to try harder with my R’s and my S’s. And it goes to the left side of my face, if that makes sense.
the mongrel: Interesting. Yeah, I can kind of sort of see the the. But I’m guessing that probably, like you said, it’s not so much like your the features but but how your face. Yeah. Does that thing.
ETHegirl: Yeah yeah exactly. Because I do not think I.
the mongrel: Look like her at all. I could see a little bit you know. But then again people have said that I look like this person or that person. I’m like, No way. So that’s that is a that is an interesting factoid about you, because I know that when you have a speech impediment, it can affect self esteem and you kind of.
ETHegirl: Have to get those.
the mongrel: Yeah, yeah, you have to get over that. Go ahead.
ETHegirl: Eventually I did. But you know, like, I mean, you know, I don’t I don’t know if we had the same experience though. Like I got I got made fun of all the time. I could not talk and I was so shy and I was so. I was. I was so shy about not being able to talk like everybody else. And I got made fun of to where it literally made me go silent. And it was because I was embarrassed and I would have my mom as long as I could. I would have my mom introduced me because I couldn’t say my own name, which has Sarah. It’s an honor. And she would introduce me and I just I didn’t ever want to talk because I just remember either people couldn’t understand me, and then it would take them a long time to figure out what I was trying to say or I would get made fun of by the kids at my school. So, yeah, I just I was silent for a long time up until I was like nine years old. I was just shy and not wanting to open my mouth.
the mongrel: Now I’ve read that you and I had this experience to not to to make this at all about me. But I understand it that you found that singing did not give you the same problem.
ETHegirl: No, I didn’t have to enunciate.
the mongrel: Yeah, and because your mouth is opening very wide. Yeah, I think that there’s something that your brain does that makes it so that you don’t have to think about enunciation. Yeah. Yeah. So do you. You sing now. It sounds like you might be a second soprano or. Or an alto.
ETHegirl: Oh, I can all I can alternate throughout anything. Got it. Singing. Singing was my. I feel like it saved me and I feel like it also. I mean, music is a huge part of my life. Singing definitely saved me and it gave me a voice. I didn’t have to enunciate number one. That was obvious, but. I kind of just found a power within it. But I was I’m such a shy human being that I never thought I was good. So when I sang, I sang for myself because it made me feel incredible. So it wasn’t until recently, actually, like maybe two years ago that I could actually get up on a stage and sing because I was so used to like being with choir performers. So there would be 20 to 40 of us on the stage, right? And we were all singing next to each other. So I didn’t it didn’t matter how loud I was. And even even then I would restrict myself because I felt like I was too loud, like I never wanted to be too loud. I never wanted to have I never wanted people to think that I wanted their eyes to be on me. And so I always kept it at bay and I just kind of sang with everybody else. And then, as you know, I grew up well, as I grew up, something happened around 21. I don’t know what the fuck it was, but all of a sudden, me being shy, me being, I just transformed overnight. I don’t know what it was. All of a sudden I had a voice and I. I demanded to be respected and I demanded people to listen to me. And ever since then, I. I’ve just developed, like, this very strong, very forward personality and. I’m. Yeah. That happened. I don’t know. I don’t know who to thank for that, but it just I, I grew later on in life and yeah, now I’m just. My personality is very big. It’s very loving, it’s very compassionate. I’m pretty genuine. I would have to say. I just. I connect with people.
the mongrel: You strike me as a pretty authentic individual who’s, you know, there are people who are different depending on who they’re with. And then there are people who basically they are who they are mostly with anybody. And you strike me as the sort of person who’s Yeah, that’s me. You don’t you don’t want to really spend a lot of energy trying to come up with all these different skins that you’re going to wear.
ETHegirl: Oh, it’s exhausting. I have one skin. It’s just.
the mongrel: Mine. Yeah. So I think we talked a little bit about yesterday, about your about your mom. And I wonder if I wonder if, as you got older through your teen years, the lessons that you picked up, whether you knew it or not, as you’re growing up, maybe sort of you might have internalized those your mother was a you grew up with a single mom, right? Yeah. Yeah. Who became, I’m guessing, probably one of your best friends.
ETHegirl: Yeah, my mom was definitely one of my mom. My mom was even for a single mom. She always was the mom. You know, she never wanted to try to be my friend. She was the she was the mom. You know, she. Taught me ways of life and. But she took no shit. And her and I. As much as we love each other and she knows me very well, and I know her very well. We. We butted heads a lot because around 1516, I started developing my voice, and I. First in my home, and I started just not taking shit from people. And I don’t know where that came from. Maybe she had a little bit to do with it, but my mom, as much as I love her, she she can be a very controlling woman. And I think that caused me to not rebel. It was not rebelling. It was me being like, okay, I know that you have these controlling aspects of yourself and I need you to know that that’s not healthy for me. So her and I would, but has all the time. And she is an extremely strong woman. But yes, she does have a little control issues. But yeah, I got a lot of that from her and she always spoke her mind, as far as I can remember, especially with our family. But yeah, I got I got a lot of that from.
the mongrel: I can tell you, from from having kids that you teaching them all the time. You’re you’re providing them with a template all the time. And, and both my kids are extremely self confident in many areas, not all areas but many areas. And they say what’s on their mind. And they they don’t understand because I never treated them like little kids. Right? I mean, I didn’t baby talk them ever. Yeah. And I always I always had really high expectations for them. So now they’ve they’re growing up and they’re meeting those expectations. And sometimes I’m like, oh shit, did I, did I intend did I really want them to be have such strong will? Did I really want that? I think ultimately it’s it’s good. Great. Your mother, you know, you you talked about how your mother really was overprotective. I mean, this was in yesterday’s conversation. Oh, yeah. But yeah. And how that was something that you’ve had to kind of get over. But at the same time, it it also you took that with you when you left home.
ETHegirl: Yeah. Yeah. So yes. So I’m a my mom was very overprotective because she only had a little girl and she just put in my head, you know, do not trust people. I remember not even being able to walk down the next grocery aisle without her because she was fearful of me being taken or stolen. And that was throughout, honestly, until I left the house at 17. And I thank her for it because when I left and when I was on my own, those kind of I always protected myself. I always knew my whereabouts. I always just, you know, I scanned every room.
the mongrel: Situational awareness.
ETHegirl: Yeah. And I took that from her for sure. Did I? Do I think that it set me back a little because I was so scared sometimes. But, you know, I also always want with my gut. And I think it I think overall it made me extremely smart and cautious. And if anybody has a daughter who’s 17, going off into a city that you are not close to, you would want her to be exactly that. Even if it’s a little overly at times like there is, there’s there’s no harm in being overly cautious about your own personal safety.
the mongrel: These days, especially. I mean, yeah, there have always been dangers. You know, when I was a kid and this was, you know, back in the Stone Age, but my parents, you know, my mom, basically, she would kick us out. This is like summer vacation time. She’d kick us out and say, this is like after lunch, I don’t want to see you until dinner. Like, literally, I don’t give a fuck where you go, but stay out of my hair for the next 6 hours. And we took that. We took that to heart. And I mean, the things we did and the places we went and the trouble that we mostly didn’t get caught at. I can’t imagine most parents doing that today. I don’t. I don’t. My wife is also a little bit more like, I think your mom probably. She’s very, very overprotective. I try to be the the sort of lenient one. Lenient one. But we have come to a sort of a. A middle point where what we’re doing is we’re slowly giving them freedom and teaching them like, for example, what we’re doing is we’re saying, okay, here is a dollar 75 for the bus for each of you. Go down, go take the bus. It drops you off right in front of the movie theater. Go buy some tickets, go watch a movie together, then find your way back to the bus stop and come home.
ETHegirl: Yeah. Do you guys have boys?
the mongrel: I Yes, I have. We have two boys.
ETHegirl: Two boys.
the mongrel: So. Oh, you guys got lucky. Yeah, well.
ETHegirl: No boys are. Oh, my gosh. I have two little brothers, and they’re the most amazing little things in the world. Hmm.
the mongrel: Well, I mean, you know, people say that boys are easy, and in some ways, yeah.
ETHegirl: Yeah, in some ways.
the mongrel: Yes, in some ways. I mean, I was not easy. And I think that the the thing that my mother did, she said. Jokingly. But, you know, she’s kind of got some wittiness to her. So she so she said, I hope you have children who are every bit do or just like you. And I’m like, that doesn’t sound like a wish. A warm wish. That sounds like a curse and gypsy with you. So, yeah, So that’s kind of that’s what happened. And I have kids who.
ETHegirl: Are like me. I know for a fact that I was much harder than both my brothers. Well, one brother came from my biological dad’s side, and then the other one came from my mom’s side after she got married when I was around ten. And both of those boys are just they’re angels compared to what I was. You know, I talked to my mom. Now I’m like, God damn it, Like I was a fucking asshole. And she trauma blocked it, of course, because she loves me. Sure. She’s like, You weren’t that bad. I was like, Mom, I like I remember calling you a cunt. Like, please don’t. Don’t sugarcoat it. Like, I was not perfect. She’s like, No, you never said that. I’m like, Yes, I did. Yes, I did.
the mongrel: Well, she’s she’s trauma blocked it, but at the same time, yeah, I’m going to say something. Parenthood is is really largely about trauma blocking. Yeah. Because if you remembered all the shit that your kids did, you wouldn’t raise them until they were old enough to breed. And you wouldn’t like them. You wouldn’t like them and you wouldn’t want to take care of them. So my kids, they I love them to death and and I wish them all the success in the world, but I really want them to reach that point. I’ll probably be dead and gone before they do where they say, you know, he actually was on to something there. He actually knew some shit. Yeah, because it takes a while before you get to that point where you’re like, you look back at your parents and say, Oh, they knew some shit.
ETHegirl: Yeah, but isn’t it isn’t it weird? I don’t know if you’ve experienced this yet, but isn’t it weird? We all go through that point where we’re like, Oh, maybe they knew some shit. I went through that. Like from the age of 20 to 24. I called my mom for like four years straight, being like, Goddamn, thank you for making me who I am. Thank you for being who you are. Like, I apologized for being a little shit when I was a teenager. I was an emotional wreck and just like you’re the greatest. And then time went by, and then I started seeing her as a human versus my mother.
the mongrel: Right?
ETHegirl: And then I started seeing her flaws as well, because, you know, I was a grown adult. I was, you know, I was well into who I am now. And, you know, this was only a couple of years ago. And it’s just like I think there’s stages where you see your parents. And then I saw her in a different light where it wasn’t like she was the superhero and she knew everything. It was like, Oh, no, you’re a human too. You make mistakes, you don’t know everything. And then that was like, that was a very big thing for me because I’m like, Oh shit, this, you know, this woman that literally gave her life to raise me, to make me who I am, to make my brother. And I’m looking at her now and, you know, I’m taller than her and I and she seems more fragile, and all of a sudden, she’s not this, like, superhero anymore. And I’m looking at her. I’m like, Oh, my God, you’re a human. And you make mistakes, too.
the mongrel: Yeah, It’s almost it’s almost Well, for me, I mean, I still get along really well with my mom. We had some friction. I know mothers and daughters tend to butt heads no matter what, but yeah, fathers and sons do, too. My father was a actually a monster. My father was a complete monster.
ETHegirl: Mine was as well. But he my mom made sure he wasn’t in the picture to be that monster to me.
the mongrel: Yeah, unfortunately, it happened a little too late. The my parents did eventually get. That’s all right. You know, it’s water under the bridge in a way, because it never quite leaves you. They did get divorced and fortunately, they got divorced in time that my little brother was spared a lot of what I went through, which was good, good. But at the same time, here’s the thing, see? I felt really good about hating him. I feel perfectly comfortable in hating him. In fact, he hated. I was in theater when I was in high school. He hated it. He assumed that only only gay men did theater. And. And that just was not intolerable. I mean, I took actual ass whippings for being in theater, which was like, for fucking monster. So sorry. Right. And so he. He never went to a single show of mine. And then my son and daughter are in their first sort of semi-pro theater production. And it’s opening night. And I get a phone call saying, Your father is on his deathbed in the hospital. Come quickly. Right.
ETHegirl: Oh, Jesus.
the mongrel: Yeah. And I thought about it. Well, first it was like they call me two days. Actually, no, I think it was. They call me at night when they call me at like 6:00 in the morning. They said he’s only got about maybe a month to live. And then they call me back 4 hours later. He’s only got about two weeks to live and they call me back. Get here now. So he just the bottom dropped out of his system. And I sat there and I thought about it and I thought about it and I thought about it. And I said, You know what? Fuck you, fuck yourself. And he asked for me at the end, I’m told. And then when they told him no, they didn’t want to come. He just apparently sighed and he kind of nodded his head. So I felt pretty good about that because, hey, I’m sticking up for my my kids. I’m there for them instead of this prick. Yeah, but here’s the thing. In the intervening years, I have actually come to understand. Not forgive, not excuse, but I’ve come to understand more of why he was the way he was. And I never wanted to achieve that understanding.
ETHegirl: Well, do you think it was just like, mainly a generational thing?
the mongrel: No, no, I think. I think he’s a fucking monster. But. But I think that there were things that.
ETHegirl: He did like things that he went through to make him.
the mongrel: That way. Right. Right.
ETHegirl: And I can only assume probably the worse shit.
the mongrel: Yeah. I mean, he went through terrible stuff himself as a kid, and, and, and there were also tools that he didn’t have. Emotional, emotional tools, coping tools that we kind of know because we live in the 21st century and we understand a little bit more. But yeah, so growing up is is really tough because you have to you have to cope with all of the shit that you now understand. So that’s that’s my little confessional right there. So, yeah, Fathers segment suck. We’ve talked we talked about that yesterday too, generally speaking, and I include myself in that I try to be a modern sort of 21st century guy, and I fall. I fall the fuck down. I know I do. I try to.
ETHegirl: Be. But you know what? As a woman, I fall the fuck down. But I. I don’t want to go around saying, Hey, all men fucking suck. I think there’s just a very big handful of men that do suck. And unfortunately they’ve been throughout history, the ones that kind of regulate things. And, and they, you know, the, the light has been shined on them and the crap they’ve done. So it does make things harder for. You. Ha. No one’s perfect. But yeah, there was a gender that sucked a little bit more. It would be men.
the mongrel: Now, let me ask you this. You’re you’re in California. You’re in Los Angeles in a somewhat enlightened place, but you’ve also lived elsewhere. You’ve lived in Florida, right?
ETHegirl: I visit there.
the mongrel: Oh, no.
ETHegirl: I lived there for each time I did. It was like for a month at a time.
the mongrel: Okay, so but you you’re aware anyway, that there are places that are not California or Massachusetts. They have very different sort of culturally programed attitudes. Yeah. And the the thing that people say is that it feels more and more like we’re going into The Handmaid’s Tale. Yeah. Do you feel as a woman that the country is maybe taking a step backward when it comes to women and women’s, you know, respecting?
ETHegirl: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what’s weird, though, is I was thinking the other day, I think it was yesterday, and I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and we were watching something. Oh, we were watching. So I, I love the show American Dad, and I’ve watched it through and through, but I haven’t watched the first couple episodes in seasons and so goddamn long. And when we were watching them and he hadn’t seen them yet, so he was used to the, the new ones and how they were. So we went back, started watching the first season and they were so fucking brutal and it was hilarious. And they said things that they could not say today, like they were saying these huge, like outrageous, fucked up things that were clearly a joke. And I just remember him looking at me and be like, Holy shit, this is so different from what they make now. And it’s it’s true. So to answer your question, I think I. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I kind of feel like we’re at that point where. Yes. All this crap is happening and we seem like we’re going back in the stone ages when it comes to like women’s rights and all that shit. But then there’s also another part or another piece of society that I feel like is really giving me the kind of hope and confidence that it’s not going to remain that way that we’re actually progressing. But right now we’re in this weird limbo because of, for example, the, the, the women’s rights right now. Like, it’s it’s in this weird limbo. But and I don’t know where it’s going to go. I hope it’s going to I. Yeah.
the mongrel: Well, I think I think I mean, you know, I know sometimes getting all up in the political sphere of conversation can be difficult.
ETHegirl: And I’m fine with that. I’m totally cool with it.
the mongrel: You know, I think it’s it’s I think that you can hold to things that seem to be disparate. I think you can hold them both in your head at the same time. I, I believe we need to expand rights for all peoples, you know, women, gays, lesbians, trans, everything. I also feel like a lot of communities need to stop being so damn woke. Yeah, because sometimes it just sounds like whiny bitch little stuff.
ETHegirl: And that’s what it is though.
the mongrel: And the thing is, it’s like, okay, so you want to fight for rights. You want to fight for respect. How do you do that in such a way that doesn’t that that is speaking the language of, you know, the common clay? Because like, you know, if you go to, you know, let’s we said Florida, let’s talk go back to Florida because that is one of the states that women really are. I’m surprised that women that they’re not like leaving the state at great. I mean, some of them are actually some are moving out. But, you know, single women who have no reason to be there. But the the OC, I have I lived in Tennessee for several years and there are plenty of people who are gay and can’t come out. They’re just never going to come out. Right. Makes me sad. And their parents won’t accept them, their communities won’t accept them. But it’s not so much that that that’s the tragedy. It’s that there are families who would still be big, happy families that gather together on the barbecue and whatever, and they have all the same fun if they just got over it. Right.
ETHegirl: I know it’s the ignorance. Should goddamn people just need to get over it. As long as people are fucking happy and healthy and love with whoever they want to be in love with. I don’t see an issue.
the mongrel: No. Yeah. And I just. I just know that probably more people would be accepting. It’s just that like. It’s like, who’s going to blink first? You have to come out and you have to say, I accept you or you have to go to your church. And if somebody says anything about your your lesbian daughter or whatever, you just have to step up and say, you know what? You know, I’ll let I’ll let that be between me and God. And you can just shut your mouth. And the more people who say that, I think the faster it will progress. Go ahead.
ETHegirl: I think it’s as simple as just being not ignorant.
the mongrel: You know.
ETHegirl: It’s just ignorant to say that two people can’t love each other because such and such.
the mongrel: Yeah, that is just.
ETHegirl: That’s just silly. And I same goes for all that kind of stuff. It’s just ignorance. It’s just like you don’t. I just love who you want to love. If you’re happy and you’re healthy, that’s that’s the most important thing. It should just stop it there.
the mongrel: Yeah, I think you’re right, though. I think that we are progressing. It’s just like a lot of other things. You get bumps in the in the in the graph. You know, you get peaks and you get valleys, you know? Hey.
ETHegirl: And then yeah, and then there’s also like social media that, you know, they all have an agenda as well.
the mongrel: Yeah.
ETHegirl: And do they navigate things to make people think certain things And that’s scary as shit.
the mongrel: And we can’t control that. Yeah. I mean keeping people in these echo chambers.
the mongrel: Showing you just sort of reinforcing your worst the. Worst of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, 100 years ago, it was a scandal if an Irishman married an Italian girl. So. Which is crazy, right? It’s fucking crazy. So, you know, But look at where we are now. You know, we’ve we’ve we’ve gotten to the point where, you know, in most places, even the south, you’ll find mixed race couples. And people generally don’t say a thing about it. So, I mean, it’s you and I know that there’s no reason that we should be waiting for progress. But no, obviously.
ETHegirl: I mean, love is love. And as long as people are healthy and happy, there is that that’s as simple as it needs to be.
the mongrel: There you go. Right from the girl’s mouth. Love is love. Let’s talk a little bit about about love and about the the many loves of of ETHegirl here. You you have a wide range of interests. And that is one of the things that really, really kind of piqued my interest in talking to you. The fact that you are you’re you’re a complex character, kiddo. That’s what I can say. You in addition to acting and singing and modeling and and now, Wolf, raising you, you have you and I share a real a real love. And that is gamin…