374 Roger Nygard | The Truth About Marriage: What Makes Happy Relationships Work & How To Find A Soulmate
"Soulmates are a problematic concept. You have to lower your expectations a little bit because society has given us all these expectations of what the perfect partner is like which are impossible for anyone to meet. It's better to find someone that you can both grow into soulmates over time and look at them from that perspective. Search for someone that you can finally be yourself around without any fear, retribution, or shame. Someone who celebrates who you are is going to want to be with you and you're going to want to be with them." - Roger Nygard
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Wellness Force Radio Episode 374
Film director and producer of several productions including the documentary, The Truth About Marriage, Roger Nygard, shares what makes relationships work, how to increase your chances of finding a soulmate, why polyamory is sacred for some couples, how and when to have difficult conversations plus the concept of The Gottman Institute's Four Horsemen and ultimate relationship deal-breakers.
What makes us happy in relationships? Why do relationships fail?
Join us as Roger shares the best tools to help keep your relationship alive, how to handle conflict better, and the No. 1 piece of relationship advice.
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Listen To Episode 374 As Roger Nygard Uncovers:
[1:30] The Secret To Happiness
* Roger Nygard
* The Truth about Marriage: All the Relationship Secrets Nobody Tells You by Roger Nygard
* The Truth About Marriage Film
* Exploring what it means to be with someone emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
* The quest for finding our soulmate and the journey it leads us on.
* When his curiosity for the truth about marriage and finding a soulmate started.
* Why the first few years of our life are crucial in our personal development but that doesn't have to mean we're held back from making choices later on in life.
* Unpacking the number one secret for happiness in relationships: Accepting who and what you are and doing the same for your partner.
* Why so many people in relationships become frustrated because they cannot reach expectations and ideals that we, society, our parents, and even our friends have set for ourselves.
* How the human species has become out of sync with who we are at our core.
* Exploring the positive experiences that happened during his childhood that have impacted his filmography career.
* Unpacking what the key to success actually is and what it isn't.
[15:30] Why Are Relationships So Difficult?
* The Nature Of Existence
* Julia Sweeney
* Why happiness is a side effect of having a purpose in life, not a goal.
* Unpacking the science behind why we're the happiest when we're in the present moment.
* How expressing ourselves creatively every day will build upon our joy.
* Exploring the big question: Why are relationships so difficult?
* Why the obstacles we find in relationships really aren't our fault.
* Examples of what we can do right now to change and make our relationships stronger.
* Why we, especially men, are such horrible listeners.
* The fact that sometimes our partners don't want us to give them solutions, they just want us to listen to what they're going through and be supportive.
* Why the masculine brain is wired to only handle 30 minutes per day of an emotional conversation before "flooding" or feelings of overwhelm happen.
* Drs. John and Julie Gottman
* 046 Dr. John Gray
* How men can recharge their batteries with quality alone time and then reconnect with their partner.
* The Truth: Sex, Love, Commitment, and the Puzzle of the Male Mind by Neil Strauss
[26:30] How To Attract A Mate
* Why he chose to have Neil Strauss be a key part of his movie, The Truth About Marriage.
* The fact that we never stop growing and maturing.
* Why humans will always be complex creatures and there will always be something new to learn about our partner.
* How he chose the couples and singles for his documentary in order to really show the lesson he wanted to teach.
* What has changed in the lives of the people he interviewed including Don Blanquito who went from being very single to getting married and having a child.
* Which gems Josh has taken from The Truth About Marriage and applied to his own relationship.
* How you can communicate better in your relationships and stop trying to be a mind reader.
* Why premarital counseling is an excellent form of therapy to increase your relationship's happiness and longevity.
* The guideline, Personal Priorities Checklist, that he includes in the back of his book for you to go through with your partner to get to a mutual priorities checklist.
[34:30] Why Relationships Fail
* The Gottmans Institute: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
* 302 Mark Groves
* 366 Mark Wolynn
* How The Gottman Institute is able to predict if a couple will stay together or not.
* Unpacking The Gottman's Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
* The big question to ask yourself about your relationship: Do you and your partner hold contempt for one another?
* Why, for every negative reaction with your partner, you must have 5 positives to make up for it.
* The power of being vulnerable with your partner instead of trying to make up for things with materialistic items.
* Joe Rogan & Chris Ryan on Open Relationships
* The formula for cultivating passion in your relationship especially if you've been together for a long period of time.
* How getting back to your masculine or feminine polarities will help rekindle a relationship.
* Why we're wired to reduce our passion especially physical intimacy in long-term relationships as compassion increases so we can raise children but it doesn't have to stay that way.
* Unpacking how to be present with your masculinity or femininity.
* How cell phones are hurting our relationships and how we can be more present with our partners.
[43:30] Can A Polyamorous Relationship Work?
* Why it's so important to be open with your partner about your needs in the relationship.
* The devastating impact of being in a relationship where the other person makes you feel ashamed of yourself.
* What he's learned from spending time with a polyamorous couple during the making of The Truth About Marriage.
* Why the polyamorous couple in his film was so successful with each other because they were 100% open with one another.
* Exploring why everything we do is in the name of either love or fear.
* Why Josh feels triggered by the idea of a polyamorous relationship after his past experiences and not being able to…