Creating a Culture of Grace with Carol the Coach
Play • 54 min
Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Nick Stumbo, who has his own personal story of  hope and healing from Sexual Addiction. He believes that men and women need to find support, understanding and grace from thier church.  He is going to talk about the fundamental principles of healthy sexuality and freedom within the church climate. He uses Pure Desire Ministries to help people find fellowship and sobriety.
Rebel Weight Loss & Lifestyle
Rebel Weight Loss & Lifestyle
Cristy Code Red Nickel
How This 25-year Police Veteran Lost 121 Pounds - An Inspiring Weight Loss Story
After calling her "Fat Butt," this 25-year police veteran became a hermit crab and sank lower and lower into shame and guilt. But hear what happened when she found Code Red and lost 121 lbs. She is now a speaker, author and living her best life at 54 years old. I am talking about Liz Weber, whose weight loss journey is so inspiring and unlike any other, we have done before. Her story will inspire all of us and resonate with many police officers, firefighters, and other first responders. Working as an overweight police officer came with numerous challenges. Her weight often held her back, and faced ridicule from her fellow officers. Even though she enjoyed her job, it was getting difficult just to physically do the job. Once she retired, she let herself go and became completely overweight at 261 pounds. At rock bottom with no hope, she came across Code Red and joined the 10-pound takedown challenge, and her weight started falling off. Tune in to hear her amazing story, including some advice to overweight first responders on how they can seek help to get their life back. Key Takeaways * How challenging it is to serve as an overweight police officer (04:05) * Getting hope, confidence, and sparkle back through weight loss (09:40) * How being overweight messes your confidence and secludes you from the world (11:22) * Why first responders struggle to ask for help and how to bridge that gap (13:21) * The inspiring ripple effect of a Code Red Rebel on people around them (18:13) * Why the Code Red Maintenance game is so strong (21:34) * How to talk to people who are on the fence about weight loss (26:49) Additional Resources: * Coderedlifestyle.com/app/ * https://coderedlifestyle.com/ * The "Code Red Revolution" book on Amazon * Get your FREE copy of the On-The-Go Guide for Code Red approved food here: http://bit.ly/on-the-go-guide * You can find out more about Cristy and the topic covered in this episode by checking out her website here. * Lies My Doctor Told Me By Ken D. Berry --------------------------------------------- Lose your first, next, or last 10 pounds with absolutely NO pills, powders, shakes, or exercise required. Click here to take the 10-pound takedown challenge! Be sure to grab your copy of my book, The Code Red Revolution here. Connect with Cristy: Facebook Instagram LinkedIn YouTube
30 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
Intelligence For Your Life The Podcast
Intelligence For Your Life The Podcast
John Tesh
Finding a Sanctuary with Holly Christine Hayes
LISTENER WARNING: We talk about the details of the life leading into and out of human trafficking and pornography. If you have small children or if you have trauma surrounding this issue, please consider skipping this episode. January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month, so we are ending our month with our guest this week: Holly Christine Hayes, founder and CEO of Sanctuary Project, a nonprofit that provides meaningful employment and job training to women who have survived trafficking. We talk about how to protect your kids from being the target of traffickers and how to help women who have been trafficked. Follow up with Holly at the Sanctuary Project Instagram, or get involved at their website. And purchase her jewelry from Target. Special thanks to our sponsor Rocket Mortgage And check out our new online store for all things John Tesh and Intelligence For Your Life. You can now BUY A SIGNED COPY OF JOHN’S BOOK, RELENTLESS. Help make it a best seller and order today. Own the journals that Gib uses: The Full Focus Planner and a blank Moleskin. And you can sign up for our newsletters at tesh.com to get Intelligence For Your Life right to your inbox. As always, if you like our podcast, Rate, Comment and Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell your friends! If you don’t like our podcast, then keep it quiet, I guess. Our Hosts: John Tesh: Instagram: @johntesh_ifyl facebook.com/JohnTesh Gib Gerard: Twitter: @GibGerard Instagram: @GibGerard facebook.com/GibGerard
36 min
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
The Addict's Journey from Escape & Avoidance to Authenticity & Transparency
It has been said, "We are only as sick as our secrets."  Another way of coming at this would be: "Living in secrecy keeps our addiction alive." In this episode Mark and Steve share their own past personal struggles with *authenticity *and *transparency. *And, they answer some common questions— -  *WHY* is it so terrifying to allow others to truly "see us" just as we are on the inside without the outside facade of masks, personas, guardedness, acting, story-telling, half-truths, selective disclosure, etc.? -  *WHERE *does this FEAR of being seen come from? What are its origins? -  *HOW* does the lack of authenticity and transparency FEED addiction and keep us trapped? -  *WHAT* are the initial, simple STEPS for daring to come out of secrecy and hiding to finally BE SEEN? Find out more about Steve Moore at:  *Ascension Counseling* Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  *Reclaim Counseling Services** *Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction* *Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage
31 min
The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast
The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
High Level Narcissist - Lies, More Lies and Damn Lies
You have known for a long time, many Summers and Springs that your partner and spouse was lying to you by commission and omission. You didn't want to believe your perceptions and instincts. When the message of untruth came across clearly, you retreated from your clarity and returned to our your belief in the leis of the high level narcissist. You have been under the spell of the high level for years and decades. High level narcissists gets a thrill out of lying to you. You are under his/her control and the narcissist knows thta he can play you anyway he wants. The narcissist is obsessed with controlling your thoughts, feelings, plans, creative pursuits. Chronic lying is a permanent fixture of the high level narcissist. Without a developed conscience you move adroitly, forcing your power position on your partner, spouse, ex-spouse, children. Clever, cunning, predatory high level narcissists layer lie upon lie and experience giddy pleasure through their countless deceits. As the high level narcissist lies, he oozes charm that is coupled with artfully designed promises that warm your heart and reinforce your attachment to them. You hold on to this false belief to reinforce the attachment to the high level narcissist and as a result postpone your rights to inner peace, respect for your personal boundaries and transformation and the rediscovery of your limitless creative gifts. After numerous intuitive messages and inspirations and your research you awaken to the true reality of the high level narcissist of the deceits and traumas you have endured and sustained. The voice of your real self says: "No More!" You hear yourself say: I am moving in my own direction. My compass is due North---the truth, the source, the beauty, the hope, independence, calm, solitude, creativity, individuality unbounded. https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke www.mhnrnetwork.com https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg
6 min
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW
#120 - The Man Cave, Take 2
In case you missed it last time, I have an exciting announcement! Next month (February 2021), I’ll be starting a brand new event: a monthly live, interactive boundary clarifier workshop. Sign up here to be the first to get updates! If someone is doing something that you don’t like in any of your relationships, this episode is for you. You may remember Episode 71, when I talked about the man cave. In response to that episode, I got a fascinating listener question, and that’s what I’ll be addressing today. And while your situation may not be exactly the same as the listener’s, I think you’ll find something to relate to in her question and my answer. Biggest Takeaways From Episode #120: * Even during the pandemic, today’s topic is still relevant. You can miss someone and feel lonely even when you’re together—for example, if your partner is glued to their phone all the time. * When we’re experiencing something unpleasant with another person, we tend to focus on the unpleasant experience or the other person’s behavior. But the only place to start is to return to yourself instead of focusing on the other person. * With an outside-in focus, you’re focused on your partner, someone else, or something happening to you. Problematically, this means the only solution is to get the other person to change. On the other hand, an inside-out focus starts with you. * You must start building the capacity to see when you’re getting what you want. This isn’t as simple as it sounds! Today’s listener question is a perfect example of this. Highlights from Episode #120: * Welcome to the show! Vicki takes a moment to chat about her upcoming monthly boundary workshops. [00:39] * Do you remember Episode 71, when Vicki talked about the man cave? Today’s episode responds to a listener’s question about that episode. [01:42] * We hear the listener question that inspired this episode, which involves the “man cave” being in the bar rather than the house. [04:56] * Vicki explains the first thing that pops out to her in this question: it involves a lot of the listener’s partner, and not much about the listener herself. [08:35] * Questions about the other person are distractions from the most important questions, which are about you. [12:07] * What do you do when you just don’t like how someone is showing up (or not)? [16:11] * Vicki offers her advice for anyone who wants something more from a partner or spouse. [20:18] * We learn about one of the dangers of wanting to become happier in a relationship. [25:34] * To get more of what you want, notice and appreciate it when you get it—and ignore the things you don’t want more of. [29:28] * Vicki answers the listener’s question about whether she should stay in her own lane and find her own activities. [33:48] * We hear a quick recap of the takeaways from today’s episode. [38:22] Links and Resources: * Sign up for updates about Vicki’s monthly boundary workshops beginning February 2021 * Vicki Tidwell Palmer * Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook * Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer * 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier * Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram * The Radiant Threefold Path * Beyond Bitchy on Spotify * Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #71 – Men, Requests, & The Man Cave * Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #102 – Should I Make a Request or Express a Desire? (For Women) * Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray * Laura Doyle
40 min
Delight Your Marriage | Sexual Intimacy, Relationship Advice, & Christianity
Delight Your Marriage | Sexual Intimacy, Relationship Advice, & Christianity
Belah Rose | Author, Podcaster, & Marital Intimacy Enthusiast
275-Wives, Organize Your Lives for Passion
Sex motivates us to be the men and women He wants us to be.    Men have to discipline themselves to be more like Jesus for her to want to have sex with him. For a woman to desire sex, she has to be at peace, confident, and aligned with God's priorities in who/what gets her time.    So, this podcast is directed towards women because often women are the organizers and they are the ones who tend to struggle to have passion. But what if there was a way to actually organize your life so that passion is a consistent desire and fulfilling activity?    That's what I want to talk to you about.   As Jesus followers, we are invited to do things that aren't the societal norms.    I think that passion for women is fairly "natural" for the first 2-3 years of a relationship/marriage. And after that it requires intentionality.    She just stops feeling it... nothing against that specific husband necessarily, she switches to life, busyness, mom - mode. And the attracting-that-guy-mode which heightened libido fades.   BUT! As a wife you can organize your life, your thoughts, and your pursuits in a way that causes you to desire sex, but it requires intentionality for women.    I vowed that on our wedding day, and it will never be negotiable. That's called exercising faithfulness to my marriage vows. Is it a "duty"? That's a gross way of thinking about loving a person---not to mention the most important person of your life.    Is a husband accepting, encouraging, and listening to his wife's heart a duty? It would be gross if that's how he thought of it. But, both are expectations of faithfulness as a married person.    Both are opportunities for them to bless each other and fulfill God's will at the same time.    Blessings, Belah   PS If you'd like to join the free training for women all about confidence in intimacy -- which will be available for a limited time -- go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc   If you'd like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free
31 min
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW
What is the Concept of ‘Home’, Really?
Dr. Rob does a solo episode this week to talk about the concept of home and what it means to us and how it differs from people who aren’t addicts. No matter where you are, home is meant to be a safe place, but for addicts, it’s a place we run away from. If you grew up in an environment where home was hell, then it makes sense why you never want to go back there. Dr. Rob discusses how you can rebuild and really find ‘HOME’. TAKEAWAYS: [1:45] Let’s talk about the concept of home. [2:30] Why do addicts keep running away from home? [4:20] Home is not what kind of furniture you have or what kind of car you drive, or your computer. Home is the people you come home to or that place where you feel like you’re at peace. [4:50] If you have an intimacy disorder, you’re not going to be able to maintain the home you’ve created for yourself as an adult. [5:30] We deeply love the homes we create, but we’re broken people and we’re unable to stay there. [6:25] The minute something goes wrong, we run away. We live double lives. [7:10] While you’re starving for connection, behind you there is a banquet waiting for you. [10:45] We often don’t see what’s right in front of us. [15:10] It makes sense why you want to run away from home. If you grow up in a nightmare, why would you want to stay there as an adult? [18:00] Going ‘home’ for the holidays was just a crazy concept. Home was a scary and unsafe place. [22:30] You can only have one life. Do you want to spend it just running away from everything that’s important to you? [23:00] How can we make home a joyful and exciting place to be? [25:30] When we get caught for our bad behavior, home ends up being another unsafe place for us. But this time, instead of running away, you need to fight your way back to it. [26:55] It’s taken Dr. Rob years to stop running. [29:10] How do you find and rebuild connection again? [32:00] Your life is going to change for the better. Just put in the work. [33:25] The most important word is ‘Home’. RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency QUOTES: * “Home is the most sacred place in our lives, no matter what kind of foundation that means for us.” * “What addicts and those who cheat and/or are unfaithful do, we leave home like everybody else, but then we never come back.” * “The nature of an intimacy disorder means you’re constantly running away from home. Constantly looking for intensity and distractions because you can’t deal with home.” * “Healthy people don’t have to live a double life.”
35 min
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