Waves Of Clarity Podcast

Tracy Kimberg

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Hello, I'm Tracy Kimberg - a hypnotherapist and resilient mind coach with many years of experience in therapeutic counselling, teenage mental health, relationship coaching and anxiety management. Every Tuesday, I bring you a new episode with tips and tools to help you stay healthy and happy - and most importantly, to just be yourself - overcoming the storms and tides of day-to-day life, mindfully and with resilience. Many episodes will include a free hypnosis session, to download and keep. Find out more at tracykimberg.com

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Apr 27, 2021

How to stop nagging your teenager.

This week, Tracy talks about how you can learn to not be be a nag bag. She shares 5 helpful tips that you can use to get your teen to do things just because they want to. This is followed by another of Tracy's helpful and relaxing Hypnotherapy Meditations, specifically designed to help you with your relationship with your teenager. You can also download these and listen to them again. Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kimberg.therapy Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-teenage-transformation-therapist-9564a3193/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_teentherapist/ hello. My name is Tracy. Kimberg welcome to the waves of clarity. I am a teenage therapist and a relationship specialist. My passion, of course, is teenagers helping them find their super power so that they can use throughout their life as they grow into adulthood and become more aware of how they behavior influences they world. I believe that relationships are built. From knowing exactly what your superpower is to that you can use that to help you overcome difficult situations and build better relationships. We all have a super power that we can tune into. And when we do this, we can do extraordinary things. We can help ourselves overcome, um, storms and tides of life. We can help other people, we can improve relationships and we can reach goals and dreams that we have for ourselves. We can even change our own behavior when we tune into our own superpowers. Today, I'd like to talk to you about nagging as a parent. I'm sure. You've heard yourself say these phrases, clean your room, do your homework. Have you done your chores? You can't go out until you've done this. Why haven't you done that? If you have a team you will know full and well, that this is a very, very tricky part of parenting journey. I speak from experience. As I currently have three daughters still living at home, the one is 16. The one is 21 and the one is 25. And sometimes it feels like I am such an ag bag. Most parents of teens. No, they sound like a broken record and it's painful. So painful, not just for us to hear. But also for our teens, but no one appreciates nagging, believe it or not, there's a far better way. And I promise you, it works. Okay. When we were growing up, our parents probably nagged us as well. And you might've even promised yourself when you were young, that you would never, ever sound anything. Like your parents and none of that nagging would ever come out of your mouth. But the reality is if you're a parent of a teenager, you've probably already used a variation of these words that I mentioned earlier. And in despite of the very best intentions, you can't help yourself. But why is this? It's likely because at some point you were just too tired or too stressed. To figure it out and think about the alternatives that you could possibly use. It just seems more natural to tell your team to do things rather than giving them a gentle push. They might need that you would have made them choose that action just because they wanted to. So the secret is to get your teenage motivated, motivated to do what you're asking to do. And I'm going to share you a few tips on how you can do this. So let's start with tip number one, start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the storm. As you know, our teens get so stressed and easily overwhelmed. And when this happens, they just want to shut down and be left alone at worst. They likely to make serious, um, decisions leading to usually a bigger, a bit of a disaster. Today. I'd like to share my five magic tips with you on how you can help yourself to stop nagging number one, and to help your teenager be motivated to do the things that you ask them without having to repeat yourself numerous times. So the first tip is start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the store. When your teenager is stressed and overwhelmed at best they'll shut down, which is normal at worst, they're likely to make a series of decisions leading to a complete and utter disaster, but when they hit this panic, it all falls to you as the parents to calm the chaos. As you know, it always is our job to try and sort out their moods and calm them down. But yes, it sometimes feels like that you all stuck in the middle of all this chaos. So we need to accept that parenting teens can be tough and even having this awareness, instead of fighting the reality of it can help us. Build our strength and resilience because it prevents us from jumping to the conclusion that maybe we are bad at parenting. And then we have all these thoughts going through our heads, telling us I'm a terrible parent. Why can't I do it? Right? The truth is that raising teenagers can be really, really tough. So let your team know in a calm way, what your expectations are of them and how you can help them rather than jumping into a rapid fire set of instructions. Once they are calm. In a response, obviously to your calmness, they will better able to make their own decisions and probably wiser decisions. My second tip is to give your team clarity so they can see themselves for who they truly are. Oh, It's no secret that teams typically have a pretty skewed vision of themselves. And, and they don't often see the things that their parents do. They're also inclined to think that they're always right and you wrong. They also think that they can do whatever they like. They sometimes think they deserve things and privileges that they haven't really earned yet. But the bottom line is that they are still learning and growing in life, they are still trying to figure out their own values. So learn to ask the right questions that guide your team and helps your team to start seeing their strengths and their talents. And the only way they can do that is if you point them out. So prod these good qualities into the spotlight and then show them how they can use these skills to solve the problem at hand. If you remind your teenager how much you see their good qualities and strengths and how they li you believe, sorry that they can actually overcome whatever it is they're going through and whatever task is they have at hand that you believe that they can do it and do it well, they will start believing it too. The third step is become the researcher and the guidance counselor. All rolled up into one, rather than giving your team a dozen options, show them where to find them. That is part of how they learn to become more independent in life by learning to do things themselves, make their own choices, instead of depending on others to save them or others, to help them choose. Talk to them about their goals and then discuss ways to find that information, encourage them, encourage them to, um, face the reality of the pros and the cons. And in coach him to talk to mentors and counselors at school, or even family members that they look up to and guide them to the pathway of discovery. So the fourth magic tip I have to share with you today is become your child's brainstorming, buddy. I love doing this with my children, where we set and we share ideas and options. And a lot of the time I'll be honest with you. Their ideas and options are a lot more creative than mine. So when your tin gets stuck, Which of course we all do. And of course they will do at some point feel stuck instead of jumping into tell them what to do, just be quiet and ask them, take the time to have a proper talk and ask them what they think the alternative choice would be or what would happen if they did an opposite thing. They may not initially see the value of this conversation and might feel a bit frustrated because you're not giving them the answer. But knowing that. You are willing to talk and guide them. And then you have someone to talk to, um, as a teenager that you can really go to your parents and talk and figure it out…