Very Bad Therapy
Very Bad Therapy
Jan 18, 2021
74. Very Bad Sex Therapy (with Danielle Kramer, LIMHP)
Play • 1 hr 30 min

Conversations about sex – even in therapy – are often constrained by harmful cultural narratives. In today’s episode, Leah describes her experience of being shamed and blamed by her sex therapist, and Danielle Kramer provides an expert perspective on how therapists can prevent their sexual biases from negatively influencing clients. Plus, Carrie passionately revisits the topic of silence in therapy.

 

Thank you for listening. To support the show and receive access to regular bonus episodes, check out the Very Bad Therapy Patreon community.

 

Introduction: 0:00 – 18:28

Part One: 18:28 – 48:53

Part Two: 48:53 – 1:27:29

Part Three: 1:27:29 – 1:29:54

 

Very Bad Therapy: Website / Facebook / Bookshelf / Tell Us Your Story

 

Ben Fineman Counseling – Therapy for Young Professionals

(Benjamin Michael Fineman - Registered Associate MFT #119754 - Supervised by Curt Widhalm, LMFT #47333)

 

Show Notes:

The Trauma Therapist
The Trauma Therapist
Guy Macpherson, PhD
Episode 508: Rick Boone, PhD. Healing The Hearts of Warriors
Dr. Rick Boone is the Warriors Heart Clinical Director a licensed Psychologist, who currently leads the clinical team at the first and ONLY private and accredited residential treatment center in the U.S. exclusively for "warriors", which includes active-duty military, veterans, first responders and EMTs/Paramedics. His team helps our frontline protectors overcome drug and alcohol addiction, PTSD, mild TBI, trauma, anxiety, depression and other co-occurring issues. Earlier in his career, Dr. Boone served for nearly 9 years in the US Navy/Army, where he had two deployments as an Army combat operational stress psychologist to Iraq, and later to Afghanistan. In 2009, he was employed by the Department of Defense as a Social Scientist with the Human Terrain Teams in the Kandahar and Logar provinces of Afghanistan. Dr. Boone completed his Ph.D. in a program that specialized in the integration of psychological science and Judeo-Christian theology at Biola University in California. Dr. Boone was born and raised in Gallipolis, OH in the southeastern Ohio River Valley, is an avid reader, and has four children ranging in ages from 11 to 37. *In This Episode* * Dr. Boone’s Website ( https://www.warriorsheart.com/about-us/staff/#clinical-team ) * The Gifts of Imperfection ( https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0593133587/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?creative=9325&creativeASIN=0593133587&ie=UTF8&linkCode=as2&linkId=780bea4c869aab6c5f4fdc1e4b8beb41&tag=wescoatrapro-20 ) , Brene Brown Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-trauma-therapist-podcast-with-guy-macpherson-phd-inspiring-interviews-with-thought-leaders-in-the-field-of-trauma/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
31 min
Understand Suicide
Understand Suicide
Paula Fontenelle
Ep. 58 - His wife attempted suicide | Adam Buck
This episode is a continuation of the previous one, so if you didn’t listen to it, please do. Mequell’s husband, Adam Buck talks about his side of their story: how he coped with her suicide attempt and all the changes they had to make so that the family could break free from an unhealthy lifestyle. One of the things he shared was a daily fear he had every time he left home. When driving off to work, he would think: “Will she make it?” When referring to daily chores and work obligations, he feels that although he would say that the family was the most important thing in his life, it wasn’t until Mequell survived her suicide attempt that he realized he needed to change as well, otherwise, they wouldn’t make it. “I was tested to see if I would put her before all these other things, and I failed.” This interview is valuable to all those who deal with mental illness among friends and family members. Listen to their podcast, “Thriving with mental illness:” https://anchor.fm/mequell-buck You can watch this interview on my YouTube Channel "Understand Suicide" https://youtu.be/ko9kU2l2M1I Donate to the podcast: https://bit.ly/3maL9RO Visit my page www.understandsuicide.com Find my book "Understanding suicide: living with loss, paths to prevention" https://amzn.to/2ANczuR Contact me and exchange experiences on my Facebook page: https://bit.ly/3h8sIet --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/paula-fontenelle/message
40 min
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Tammy Sollenberger
IFS and Inviting Curiosity with Racist Parts with Daphne Fatter
On today's episode, I chat with Dr. Daphne Fatter, certified IFS therapist and a licensed psychologist in private practice in Dallas, Texas. She teaches workshops on white racial socialization for therapists, in addition to teaching on trauma treatment for TZK seminars. She is a trained facilitator by Challenging Racism to lead conversations on race and racism. This is the last episode in the Heirloom Summit Series, and I'm excited to this with Daphne who walks through the Six Stage White Racial Developmental Model by Janet Helms. We also discuss teaching kids about whiteness, privilege and racism. The book that she mentions is "Raising White Kids: Bringing up children in a racially unjust America" by Jennifer Harvey. Daphne has a ton of resources on raising kids to be anti-racist on her website. We talk about trailheads to our protective parts around racism and the parts who try to separate, numb, and disconnect from racism and parts who engage in 'white saviorism.' A list of trailheads is on her website too. -------- Find out more about Daphne here: https://www.daphnefatterphd.com/ Her email is: info@daphnefatterphd.com Find out about the workshop she co-leads here: https://www.daphnefatterphd.com/treating-racial-trauma-series.html More Information about the White Racial Developmental Model by Jennifer Helms here: https://libguides.du.edu/c.php?g=1046908&p=7596766 https://coatescbc.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/helms-white-racial-identity-development-model.pdf She suggests this podcast on Whiteness that is 'too good not to share': https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/ For more about 'Calling in' check out: https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/spring-2019/speaking-up-without-tearing-down --------- I'd love to connect with you @ifs.tammy on Instagram and Twitter and on Facebook at The One Inside Facebook page. To register for the Heirloom Summit and receive a discount as a listener of TOI go to http://bit.ly/theoneinside Enjoy!
53 min
Hacking Your ADHD
Hacking Your ADHD
William Curb
Digital Declutter: Tabs, Tabs, And more Tabs
Did you think I was all done with tabs last week... well I wasn't because there's actually a ton we can still talk about. Tabs are one of those small things in our life that can have a fairly outsized impact. Don't think so? Well, keep listening to find out why. Today we're going to be talking about how tabs can literally change the way our brain works, some ways we can cull having all those tabs open, and then talk a bit about those precursors to tabs... bookmarks. Support me on Patreon Connect with me on: Facebook Twitter Instagram or ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/tabstabstabs *This Episode’s Top Tips* * Tabs can serve as an easy way to try to multitask - however, multitasking is just task switching. As we switch from task to task to task we're actually decreasing our overall productivity, not increasing it. * Switching tabs can give a hit of dopamine, which only increases our desire to switch tabs more often. We can work on this by being mindful of what kind of tabs we leave open. * A great way to limit tabs is to use services like Pocket or Instapaper that allow us to save articles we want to read for later. By storing them in an external system we remove the temptation to just switch to those articles in the middle of other tasks. * Another alternative to just leaving tabs open is to use your bookmarks for sites that you either visit frequently or just sites that you know you're going to have to come back to eventually. What we don't want to do however is create bookmarks for sites that we just need to keep open temporarily.
17 min
Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast
Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast
Healthline Media
Steven C. Hayes - What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)?
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)? Is it just for select issues or can everyone benefit from ACT? Is there any evidence to support that ACT works at all? Dr. Steven C. Hayes, one of the pioneers of ACT, answers these questions and shares some of the interesting applications of ACT, ranging from helping professional athletes to Fortune 500 companies. Listen now! Guest Information for 'Acceptance and Commitment' Podcast Episode Steven C. Hayes is a Nevada Foundation professor of psychology in the behavior analysis program at the University of Nevada. An author of 46 books and nearly 650 scientific articles, he’s especially known for his work on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or “ACT,” which is one of the most widely-used and researched new methods of psychological intervention in the last 20 years. Hayes has received several national awards, such as the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy. His popular book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life” for a time was the best-selling self-help book in the United States, and his new book “A Liberated Mind” has been recently released to wide acclaim. His TEDx talks have been viewed by over 600,000 people, and he’s ranked among the most cited psychologists in the world. About the Inside Mental Health Podcast Host Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
30 min
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
David Burns, MD
230: Secrets of Self-Esteem—What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I’ve got it? And more, on Ask David!
* Ask David: Questions on self-esteem, recovery from PTSD, dating people with Borderline Personality Disorder, recovery on your own, and more! Jay asks: * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” * Many patients can read your books and do the exercises and recover on their own. Is a teacher or coach sometimes needed to speed things up? * Is it possible for a person to become happy WITHOUT needing anyone else if they have had depression in past and/or PTSD? * Also, how would Team-CBT address treating PTSD? PTSD can involve a person having multiple traumas. * * * * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? Thanks, Jay, I will make this an Ask david, if that is okay, but here is my quick response. Although many folks now show dramatic changes in a single, two-hour therapy session, they will still have to do homework to cement those gains, including: * Listening to or watching the recording of the session * Finish on paper any Daily Mood Log that was done primarily in role-playing during the session. In other words, write the Positive thoughts, rate the belief, and re-rate the belief in the corresponding negative thought. * Use the Daily Mood Log in the future whenever you get upset and start to have negative thoughts again. * I also do Relapse Prevention Training following the initial dramatic recovery, and this takes about 30 minutes. I advise the patient that relapse, which I define as one minute or more of feeling crappy, is 100% certain, and that no human being can be happy all the time. We all hit bumps in the road from time to time. When they do relapse, their original negative thoughts will return, and they will need to use the same technique again that worked for them the first time they recovered. In addition, they will have certain predictable thoughts when they relapse, like “this proves that the therapy didn’t rally work,” or “this shows that I really am a hopeless case,” or worthless, etc. I have them record a role-play challenging these thoughts with the Externalization of Voices, and do not discharge them until they can knock all these thoughts out of the park. I tell them to save the recording, and play it if they need it when they relapse. I also tell them that if they can’t handle the relapse, I’ll be glad to give them a tune up any time they need it. I rarely hear from them again, which is sad, actually, since I have developed a fondness for nearly all the patients I’ve ever treated. But I’d rather lose them quickly to recovery, than work with them endlessly because they’re not making progress! People with Relationship Problems recover more slowly than individuals with depression or anxiety for at least three reasons, and can rarely or never be treated effectively in a single two-hour session: * The outcome and process resistance to change in people with troubled relationships is typically way more intense. * It takes tremendous commitment and practice to get good at the five secrets of effective communication, in the same way that learning to play piano beautifully takes much commitment and practice. * Resolving relationship conflicts usually requires the death of the “self” or “ego,” and that can be painful. That’s why the Disarming Technique can be so hard for most people to learn, and many don’t even want to learn it, thinking that self-defense and arguing and fighting back is the best road to travel! * * * * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? Yes, Ten Days to Self-Esteem would likely be a deeper dive into the topic of Self-Esteem. It is a ten-step program that can be used in groups or individually in therapy, or as a self-help tool. There is a Leader’s Manual, too, for those who want to develop groups based on it. * * * * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” I was involved with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was exhausting! Why was I attracted to her? Thank you for the question, Jay. Most claims about parents and childhood experiences, in my opinion, are just something somebody claimed and highly unlikely to be true if one had a really great data base to test the theory. We don’t really know why people are attracted to each other. Many men do seem attracted to women with Borderline Personality Disorder. Perhaps it’s exciting and dramatic dynamic that they’re attracted to, and perhaps it’s appealing to try to “help” someone who seems wounded. Good research on topics like this would be enormously challenging, and people would just ignore the results if not in line with their own thinking. Our field is not yet very scientific, but is dominated by “cults” and people who believe, and who desperately want to believe, things that are highly unlikely, in my opinion, to be true. I do quite a lot of data analysis using a sophisticated statistical modeling program called AMOS (the Analysis of Moment Structures) created by Dr. James Arbuckle from Temple University in Philadelphia, someone I admire tremendously. This program does something called structural equation modeling. In the typical analysis, the program tells you that your theory cannot possibly be true, based on your data. If you are brave, this can lead to radical changes in how you think and see things, especially if you are not “stuck” in your favored theories. But this type of analysis is not for the faint of heart. All the best, David Here is Jay’s follow-up email: HI Dr. Burns, As you know A LOT of people attribute their present problems (depression / anxiety / relationship conflicts / addictions) to their "abusive" or "toxic" relationship with their parents. It is interesting that it seems some people internalize negative beliefs about themselves based on what their parents said to them on a consistent basis. But it seems you are saying the data does not support that theory. Jay Thanks, Jay, I’m glad you responded again. There may be some truth to those kinds of theories. We know, for example, that abused or feral cats often have trouble with trust. So, we don’t want to trivialize the pain and the horrors that many humans and animals alike endure. At the same time, people are eager to jump onto theories that “sound right” to them and serve their purposes, and most of these theories are not based on sound research. Here are two examples from my own research. I tested, in part, the theory that depression comes from bad relationships, and also that addictions result from emotional problems. I examined the causal relationships between depression on the one hand and troubled vs happy relationships with loved ones on the other hand in several hundred patients during the first 12 weeks of treatment at my clinical in Philadelphia, and published it in top psychology journal for clinical research. (will include link) That was because there were at the time two warring camps—those who said that a lack of loving and satisfying relationships causes depression, and those who said it was the other way around, that depression leads to troubled relationships. And the third group said it worked both ways. My study indicated that although troubled relationships were correlated with depression, there were NO causal links in either direction. Instead, the statistical models strongly hinted that an unobs…
47 min
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