Bonus Episode 86 Struggling on Thanksgiving—Boundaries and More. Sigh
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Struggling on Thanksgiving—Boundaries and More. Sigh


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I’m needing to set some boundaries, and I’m having the eternal struggle of many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)—I know what I need to do, but I’m the only one who sees the problems, the risks and I feel alone in this.  I’m realizing that it would be easier if everyone agreed with me, but my growth has to be about ME feeling ok with boundaries I need to set, even if no one else understands.  I can share my thoughts and wishes, but it’s got to be up to me to reassure myself that I can trust what I need.


Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Coach.  She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other HSPs know that they aren’t alone, and that being an HSP has amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors us


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Your Anxiety Toolkit
Your Anxiety Toolkit
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Ep. 173: Things to Know When Starting Therapy
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I would like to discuss with you a question that comes up quite a lot when I am starting with a new client. So often my clients will say to me "What can I expect during my first session?" I want to share with you what I tell my clients about the things to know when starting therapy. The first thing I say to my clients is that your brain can change. You may have a disorder that was inherited or triggered by a certain event, but the good news is that by changing your behavior, you can actually change your brain. The second thing I say is that no matter your mental health struggle, there is a science proven way to treat that disorder. We have evidence based treatments and you can absolutely can get better. Thirdly, I tell my clients that no matter what struggles they are going through, it is not their fault. This is not something they asked to have happen. We are going to move away from assigning blame and move towards self-compassion. The fourth thing I would say is that you should not enjoy coming to see me. The work can be really hard and it will mean facing your fears, so if you are enjoying coming to see me then we may need to look at the reasons why. The goal is to actually give my clients the tools they need so that they do not need me anymore. Finally I tell my clients that they need to be prepared to do the hard work. There will be lots of homework and a lot of facing your fears, but nothing changes if they are not willing to do the work. I always remind them that it is a beautiful day to do those hard things. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Ep. 173 Transcript: Guys, I am so grateful to have you with me today. I know your time is incredibly precious and valuable, and so I'm so happy to just be with you. How are you doing? Just checking in. How is everybody? It is well and truly 2021. Lots and lots of happening in the world. Lots and lots of changes. I'm just wrapping my head around them all. In this new year, I made a deal with myself to spend a little bit more time on social media, which is so funny because I think most people were saying, “No, I think I'd like to spend less time.” I'm actually saying, “No, I'd like to spend more time on social media.” I hang out a lot on Instagram and on the Facebook group called CBT School Campus or on my Facebook page. I promised myself I'd spend more time there because I'm realizing after last year that I felt really disconnected to you guys and I really wanted to get back into feeling connected. I have loved it. If you're on Instagram, go over and follow me @kimberleyquinlan, or you can go over to the Facebook group. It's CBT School Campus, or my Facebook is Kimberly Quinlan with CBT School after it. That being said, I just wanted to let you know that today, I wanted to chat with you about something I have not talked about, but I thought it would be a really great topic. A lot of people in the new year have been reaching out, looking for clinical services – help for OCD, help for anxiety, help for an eating disorder, or help for a BFRB. We love helping people. I have a great staff of seven licensed therapists who all treat the same disorders that I do. It's just been so wonderful to see all the new clients and people coming in really ready to get help. It really came across my mind in that one of the questions new patients and clients have is: What should I expect in the first session? What does the first session look like? What would you tell me in the first session? I thought this would be a great topic to talk to you guys about. So I want to share with you the five things I tell every single client or patient in their first session. Are you ready? Let's do it. Once I have introduced myself and they've introduced themselves and they tell me a little bit about their struggles and what they're wanting to work on, I, at some point in the session, are going to tell them I'll do a thorough assessment. But I will, at some point, either at the beginning or at the end or somewhere, wherever it's most appropriate, share with them one major piece of good news. 1. Your brain can change. Even if you have a disorder that may be is hereditary, has been passed down from generation to generation, or you have a disorder that was triggered by a certain event, or you have a disorder or a problem that was triggered by societal expectations, such as eating disorders, I always share with my patients and clients the great news, which is you can change your brain. In some cases, for those of us who have anxiety, even though your brain might be firing away, setting off the alarm bells all day long, “Danger, danger, danger,” you can change the way your brain reacts to these misfires. Now, you can't do it by simply trying to change your thoughts. We know that. Changing thoughts sometimes can be very, very important. I'm not going to deny that. It's an important piece of depression work. It's an important piece of, like I said, eating disorder work and so forth for everybody. But the cool thing here is more importantly, by changing your behaviors, you can change your brain. By changing the way you react to fear, you can change your brain. You can connect parts of your brains that weren't connecting. You can strengthen parts of your brain that is weak or they're not connecting and the connection isn't so strong. Your brain can change, and this is good news. This is great news. When we found this out in science, we all had a big party because it was really reinforcing that if you do a scan of someone pretreatment of their brain, and then you did a scan of their brain post-treatment, we would be able to see the changes in their brain, and this is really cool. 2. If you have OCD or a phobia, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety, health, anxiety, hair pulling, skin picking, and eating disorder, any of these, any of the mental health issues, that there is a science proven way to treat your disorder. This is good news. I fill you with hope by saying, I understand that what you're going through is really painful, but the good news is, we have scientific evidence to prove that we're on the right track and we're going to be administering the correct treatment. If you have OCD, the science proven treatment is exposure and response prevention. If you have hair pulling, skin picking or nail biting, the science proven treatment is habit reversal training. If you have depression or an eating disorder, the science proven treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy. If you have health anxiety, you're again going to have a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy with the focus being exposure and response prevention, same goes for phobias, same goes for social anxiety. All of these, we're going to, let’s say the frosting on top is that we're also going to apply science proven techniques, such as mindfulness and self-compassion. This is not woo-woo stuff here. This is science. We have tons of evidence to show that you can get better, that your disorder isn't a mystery. Thank goodness. Imagine back in the sixties if you had OCD, at that point, or even the seventies, there was no treatment for OCD that was proven. If you had OCD, you were told “Good luck.” A…
19 min
The Adult Chair
The Adult Chair
Michelle Chalfant
246: Transform Your Life Experience Using The Adult Chair with Anita
Each week on this show, I aim to bring you ideas, expertise and tools to make psychology simple and to introduce you to new healing possibilities. But my goal has never been just to share knowledge. My goal is make it easy for you to do your work and become who you were meant to be using this model! I love bringing you stories of others who have been able to take what they’ve learned here and put it into practice to see REAL change in their lives. As others model the model for us, we see how easy it is to use, get ideas for how to apply it and are motivated to keep doing the work because we see how it truly can transform! When I heard Anita share her story in The Adult Chair Membership group, I knew this was one I had to share with you. Anita grew up in a dysfunctional family and has been working to heal her internal programming using The Adult Chair over the last year. The holidays in particular are difficult for Anita because her family didn’t celebrate Christmas, even though she always wanted to as a child. She felt a lot of loss, shame and disappointment around the end of the year. But this year, she completely transformed her holiday experience by working with her inner child and creating a magical Christmas for her and her husband. In doing so, she was also able to work through some triggers and view her relationship with her parents in a healthier way. I’m truly blown away by the work she has done, and I know you will be so inspired by her story. Listen to discover: * Exactly how Anita used The Adult Chair to transform a negative experience * How to work with the inner child to reclaim joy * How to stayed grounded and in fact and truth in conversations with family * Anita’s “gratitude, guidance and grace” daily practice “We get programmed with what our ‘norm’ is, and until we bring consciousness and awareness, we can’t change it.” - Michelle Chalfant “Because I’ve been working so intently with The Adult Chair model this year, that’s why I think this holiday experience was totally different.” - Anita “When you can bust your stories, or the stories that happen in the Adolescent Chair from our ego, we stay in the present moment, it takes you out of the trigger and it’s over.” - Michelle Chalfant “Gratitude brings you to presence.” - Anita Resources The Adult Chair Membership Use promo code ‘Anita’ to try your first month for $1 More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website The Adult Chair Membership The Adult Chair Workshop The Adult Chair Coaching Certification TAC Gatherings Stay Connected Instagram: Facebook: The Adult Chair Facebook Group: YouTube: **** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at
42 min
Therapy Chat
Therapy Chat
Laura Reagan, LCSW-C
261: Understanding The Process Psychedelic Somatic Trauma Therapy with Saj Razvi
Welcome back to Therapy Chat! In this week's episode, host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C resumes part two of her interview with Saj Razvi, LPC, a clinician and director of education for the Psychedelic Somatic Institute. Listen in for a fascinating discussion on how psychedelics can help us go deeper in the process of healing trauma. Saj explains how psychedelics help us access different states of consciousness and why this matters in therapy for complex trauma. He explains the various models of psychedelic-assisted trauma therapy and how Psychedelic Somatic Institute teaches therapists to legally provide psychotherapy to clients using psychedelic medicine in private practice settings, and how this contributes to greater access to these healing medicines than has been available previously. * Register here (affiliate link) for a webinar to learn more about PSI's training * Read the White Paper that was recently published in the Journal of Psychedelic Psychiatry * Check out the PSI website: * Listen to episode 218, Laura's interview with Dr. Craig Heacock on his work in the MAPS studies with MDMA. * Sign up to be the first to know when registration for Laura's Trauma Therapist Consultation groups opens in February, 2021! Leave me a message via Speakpipe by going to and clicking on the green Speakpipe button. Thank you for listening to Therapy Chat! Please be sure to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review, subscribe and download episodes. You can also download the Therapy Chat app on iTunes by clicking here. Podcast produced by Pete Bailey -
47 min
The Anxious Truth - REAL Help For Panic, Anxiety and Agoraphobia
The Anxious Truth - REAL Help For Panic, Anxiety and Agoraphobia
The Anxious Truth
EP 140 - We Do NOT Accept And Float Through Abuse (w/Joe Ryan)
I am often asked an important question. "How do I learn to float and accept when one person makes me anxious?"  This question is asked by people that will often explain that they experience anxiety or even panic when in the presence of a specific person or group of people.  Often, there is a history of abuse, or there is ongoing abuse of varying types (mental, emotional, or even physical).  So the question I am really being asked is, "How can I float through being with someone that has harmed me or is harming me right now?" The answer is simple.  You are not required to accept and float through abuse.  Not now.  Not ever.  I am teaching you how to become non-reactive to irrational fear.  Fear that feels real, but has no basis in reality. This is why we learn to accept that fear and float through it.  This is why we surrender to it.  Because in doing so we learn that there is no real danger, and that we no longer have to be afraid.  When in an abusive relationship, there is REAL DANGER.  REAL HARM is being done.  Your fear and your anxiety are justified!  I am not teaching you how to float through that. My old friend Joe Ryan joined me to discuss this important topic and share his experience with abusive relationships. For full show notes on this episode: My books, podcast, and social media links: Music Credit: "Afterglow" by Ben Drake ( with permission --- Support this podcast:
29 min
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
David Burns, MD
225: The Self-Centered Podcast Featuring Special Guest, Dr. Jill Levitt!
At the start of today’s podcast, we got an update on the Feeling Great app from Jeremy Karmel. We are looking for one or more programmers who might like to join our project. Our goal is to create the first electronic tool that can outperform human therapists, and some super promising preliminary data suggests we may be on the right path to make this happen. We are looking for talented engineers and designers who would share our passion for this incredible dream. If you are interested, contact Today we are joined by our beloved and brilliant colleague, Dr. Jill Levitt to ask two questions: * Can the “self” be judged? * Does the “self” exist? We got quite a bit of positive feedback to a recent Ask David Podcast that included a question about Buddhism, but people said they wanted more on the topic of the “great death” of the self. Bottom line was this: * You can judge your own or someone else’s specific thoughts and actions, but you cannot judge your (or somebody else’s) “self.” * The question, “does the ‘self’ exist,” is meaningless. * The goal of therapy is not to get promoted from the “worthless” to the “worthwhile” category, but to reject these categories as having no meaning. David argues that it is impossible to feel depressed without the distortions of Overgeneralization and Labeling—that where you jump from a specific flaw or problem, like getting rejected by your boyfriend to some abstract label or judgment, like thinking you are “unloveable.” We also used the real-life example of David responding to criticisms that he was too harsh with Steven Hayes on Episode 220. We show how TEAM therapy works, and illustrate several techniques for crushing the Negative Thoughts that lead to the painful negative thoughts that including Overgeneralization and Labeling, including: * Empathy * Positive Reframing * Externalization of Voices * Be Specific * Acceptance Paradox * Feared Fantasy We also focused on the concept of “laughing enlightenment,” a key Buddhist concept, along with the “great death” of the self. When you lose your “self,” you actually lose nothing, because there was nothing there in the first place. This is a kind of cosmic joke. But you inherit the world and gain liberation from your suffering, along with great joy, and of course, sadness as well. We also summarized the thinking of Ludwig Wittgenstein, arguably the greatest philosopher of all time, and how his sudden insight when a soccer ball hit him in the head transformed the history of philosophy. He was an extremely lonely man who had numerous episodes of depression, and never attempted to publish anything when he was alive, because only a handful of students and colleagues could understand what he was trying to say. This was intensely frustrating to him, because his message was so simple, clear, and basic—and yet the great philosophers could not grasp it. The Buddha had the same problem. The book, Philosophical Investigations was published in 1950, right after his death. It is just a series of numbered paragraphs, or brief comments, on different everyday themes, like bricklayers, string, games, and so forth. It is was based on a metal box they found under his bed, which contained notes from his weekly seminars at Cambridge. Many people, including myself, consider it as the greatest book in the history of philosophy, and think of Wittgenstein as the man who killed, or ended, philosophy. According to Wikipedia, the famed British philosopher, Bertrand Russell, described Wittgenstein as "perhaps the most perfect example I have ever known of genius as traditionally conceived; passionate, profound, intense, and dominating." Although Wittgenstein did not focus emotional problems, his solution to all the problems of philosophy is very similar to cognitive therapy. Here is the parallel: You don’t try to solve the classic “free will” problem. Instead, you see through it and give it up as nonsensical, as language that's "out of gear," so to speak. Once you “see this,” and understand why it is true, it is incredibly liberating. But it can be a lonely experience, because you suddenly “see” something super-obvious that seems to be invisible to 99.9% of humans. It's as if you had a "third eye," and could see something incredible that people with only two eyes cannot see. By the same token, when you suddenly “see” that the idea that you have a “self” which could be “superior” or “inferior” is nonsensical, it is also incredibly liberating. This, in fact, is the cognitive therapy version of spiritual “enlightenment.” And that's also one of the goals of the TEAM-CBT that my collegues and I have created. Jill, Rhonda, and David
1 hr 18 min
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