This Is This
Rev Kristen Barner: spinal stroke survivor, wife, storyteller
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Our new podcast, THIS IS THIS!
A husband and wife perspective on what and why we are talking about life and love with a spouse with a giant life-altering medical event. "You know what this is? This is this."
Kristen survived a Spinal Stroke.
David survived Kristen's Spinal Stroke.
And life moves forward....
Available episodes
Newest first
Oldest first
Apr 25, 2020
Victoria and William
Today, April 25, 2020, is a very special day for two very special people. Even though the big wedding has to be postponed during the pandemic, people who ought to be married can still get married - if we are careful and thoughtful about it. Happy Elopement Day to Victoria and William! Let's do it again in August.
Today's reading is "Then Your Heart Is Full Of Love," by Mr. Rogers. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
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Apr 8, 2020
Les Jours de la Semaine by Mr. Rogers
One thing I'm hearing over and over during this time of harboring in place (ie. lockdown and curfew) is that people are losing track of the days. The struggle is real! Is it Monday? Saturday? The 7th? The 12th?
David shares a fun lesson in French for us to try to get a handle on it. I mean, if you want to.
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Apr 5, 2020
A Bird Lands On A Windowsill
As we sit at the table recording today's episode, there's a flock of seagulls next door at the Food Lion. They've been "vocal" for several days now. What gives? Also, have the doldrums? Could the game of chess be the answer?
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Apr 4, 2020
I Like To Take My Time, by Mr. Rogers
Today's reading from Mr. Rogers is about how it's okay to take your time. One thing we all have right now, as we are practicing social isolation in our homes, is TIME. How do you want to spend it?
What if, when this is all over, we come out to me more thoughtful and intentional with our lives?
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Mar 31, 2020
Truth and Freedom
We're in the second week of social distancing (i.e. not leaving home at all!) and today we were kind of bored. There's a lull. The doldrums.
What a fine time, during this void of activity, to think about what we feel and who we are! Mr. Rogers thinks that truth will make us free! What a rich gift this can be.
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Mar 30, 2020
The Arts May Save Our Spirits
Have you had a chance to listen to, or watch, any of the free performances of music or theater during your social distancing? I'm trying to soak in all that I can. I've always said it, and now I really believe it: the Arts will save our spirits.
Tune in!
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Mar 27, 2020
It's Good To Talk, by Mr. Rogers (and Dear Abby)
David and Kristen share with you one of our morning rituals, froggy throat and all. Horoscopes, Dear Abby, coffee, and kisses. Stay tuned to the very end for a little treat during your time of self isolation.
It's Good To Talk, by Mr. Rogers
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Mar 26, 2020
I Need You, by Mr. Rogers
Today's little check-in includes our determination to get some exercise. We also have a poem from Mr. Rogers called, "I Need You."
And we do!
We hope this brightens your day.
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Mar 25, 2020
Back From Hiatus
Hellooooooo, This is This listeners!!!!
I am so sorry we went AWOL on you last January. We had a tough year with some stunning losses and, tbh, not in any shape to podcast. This Is This would have been us, sobbing.
Now we are back, right on time for a global pandemic. WHAT?
In today's episode, we are catching up with you and starting a daily tradition of something sweet for the soul.
Glad to have you back!! We really have missed you!
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Jan 30, 2019
Where Have We Been?
Kristen and David had an unexpected hiatus from THIS IS THIS. Apologies!!! Life got the better of us, schedules were bananas, and Kristen had the world's worst cold. Blech. No one needed to hear that up close and personal.
David and Kristen catch up and catch on. Season Three is underway. Thank you for tuning in!
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Nov 19, 2018
Truth and Reconciliation
David and Kristen are back! Sorry we've been out of it for a few weeks. Too much to tell. But one thing we want to tell...
We had a wonderful truth and reconciliation conversation with the ER doctor who discharged Kristen when she was paralyzed from chest to toes. January 9, 2017 was a harrowing experience and the experience in the ER made everything a little bit worse. After many months and many obligatory preliminary conversations, we got to have a face-to-face with "Dr. Doe."
The conversation was incredible. Our respect for Dr. Doe has skyrocketed. We learned so much in our meeting with him.
Our Truth was, and is, always our Truth. But Dr. Doe's Truth is also and always his truth. We learned much from one another.
Give it a listen and learn the flip side of our priceless coin.
XOXO, K & D
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Oct 22, 2018
Why Do Good People Do Bad Things?
We have talked about "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Today we are asking, "Why do good people do bad things?"
Kristen and David have a philosophical conversation about this very topic. We also have the benefit of enjoying some notes from an earlier conversation with Kristen's parents. Join us and then chime in! Tell us what you think!
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Oct 14, 2018
Adversity and Conflict: What Do You Do?
David and Kristen spend some time talking about adversity and conflict they have experienced as children and then as adults. How did they handle it as kids? And as adults? What's different? And what would they say to their younger selves? What do YOU do?
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Sep 30, 2018
David & Kristen Checking In Again
After several weeks of interviews with extraordinarily cool people, David and Kristen check in for an update. We're glad to be back together again with you on THIS IS THIS!
Please subscribe, rate, and review. We'd love to see some "star" action. The more people who take a moment to do this, well, the easier it is for people to find us on their favorite podcast network. Thanks and Cheers!
Love,
David and Kristen
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Sep 23, 2018
Interview with Bill & Bonnie: "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind."
- Shakespeare.
On 04/08/2016, under a majestic old oak tree, I officiated the wedding for Bill & Bonnie. Retinitis Pigmentosa has plagued Bill his whole life, slowly deteriorating his vision. There is no cure. As Shakespeare said, "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind," I can tell you Bill & Bonnie have found a deep & beautiful love with one another. Bonnie has had to increase her role as the seeing partner (driving, and so forth) & Bill has had to learn to accept this. Their love, friendship, & raucous sense of humor is infectious, a beautiful thing to behold. In my own marriage, in my role as the one who needs care, Bill & Bonnie have so very much to teach me. I am forever grateful for their example & their lessons.
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Sep 16, 2018
Joellen and James: A Coal Miner's Daughter and an Actor
Joellen and I met when we worked together at a little Irish Pub. We’ve been thick as thieves ever since. You’d think, at some point, I’d have asked her about growing up in West Virginia as a coal miner’s daughter. On a sunny day in July, we sat down together and she told me all about it.
We also have a surprise visit from the one and only James Keegan, former colleague of David’s and old friend of ours. The stars have aligned so that this week’s episode includes two of my favorite people. I hope you enjoy their company as much as I do!
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Sep 10, 2018
Patron Saint Of All The Animals: Sherry Ramsey, Esq.
I’m delighted to introduce you to my remarkable friend, Sherry Ramsey, Esq. She is a licensed attorney in NY and NJ and an Adjunct Professor. I can’t say enough about this passionate and compassionate woman. Pour yourself a beverage and join us as Sherry shares her secret to a long successful marriage, the importance of friendships, and her stunning law career on behalf of animals, prosecuting animal cruelty cases. While her work is dead serious, her personality is charming and good fun. Quite the combo. Join us!
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Sep 2, 2018
Prerecorded Interview with Mom and Dad (07/27/2018)
While I was in VA this summer I was able to sit down with my parents for another conversation for THIS IS THIS. They are such good sports. We are airing this on September 2, 2018, which is Mom and Dad’s 59th Wedding Anniversary!!!! Happy Anniversary!
We talk about Massanetta Springs, education, their consistent use of inclusive language, and my Dad’s book, which I encourage you to read! (Contact me for a free e-copy of his book!). Our conversation is also interrupted with phone calls, neighbors dropping in, and dinner chimes. Because, well, THIS IS THIS.
Happy 59th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!!!!
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Aug 26, 2018
They Look Exactly the Same After 30+ Years Together
Kristen is thrilled to introduce you to Couple #100, Allen and Gary. Together for over 30 years, our dear dear friends talk about their remarkable story of finding and loving one another over the decades, long before Marriage Equality was legal. If any of you have ever wondered or questioned the significance and importance of Marriage Equality, listen to this conversation. Without a doubt and with 700% confidence, these two men deserve the right to be married to one another and to have their marriage recognized and honored in every way, church and state. Every couple should wish for the length of years and the depth of friendship and love that Allen and Gary share. Enjoy Kristen's conversation with these beautiful men. (And check out these photos of them in the same tuxes that still fit! They look exactly the same after 30+ years together!)
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Aug 19, 2018
Interview: Miriam - Our Daughter Has Rett Syndrome
Rett Syndrome – genetic disorder, “has no motor planning.”
Everything is compromised.
https://reverserett.org
https://www.rettsyndrome.org/
This week’s interview is with our dear friend, Miriam Donald Burrows.
Miriam and Daniel met in an audition in NYC for Shenandoah Shakespeare. They hit it off immediately, discovered they were both hired, and began the beautiful friendship and love that would change their lives forever. Settled in Staunton, VA, Miriam and Daniel are bringing up their two beautiful children, Clark and Cordelia (Cordie), surrounded by a village of close friends and allies. Early in her young life, Cordie has been diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. As Miriam states early in the interview: “This is a story about expectations.” And “…the funeral of the expectation…”.
Life lessons: Who do you want to be, really? What are you going to do about it? What are you waiting for?
And how do you take care of yourself when life has handed you a puzzle in human…
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Aug 11, 2018
CVille Pilgrimage: Interview with Mark & Joann Jeter
Mark and Joann Jeter were actors with the Shakespeare company, along with David. They toured together and trod the boards of the Blackfriars Playhouse. The Jeters have returned to our hometown of Staunton, VA where they live in a diverse and quiet neighborhood, rearing their little daughters in a loving community of friends.
On the one year anniversary of the murderous invasion of Charlottesville by white supremacists, it is my privilege to shed a little light on some hope. The interview is pre-recorded, and I write this on the very weekend of the anniversary. Our friends in Charlottesville remain concerned and yet vigilant in their insistence on love and justice.
Mark participated in the CVille Pilgrimage, delivering soil from a lynching site in Charlottesville to the Lynching Memorial in Montgomery, AL.
WARNING for our Dear Listeners: You will hear language that is detailed and descriptive of the violence inflicted upon a man named John Henry James. Please be mindful of that if yo…
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Aug 5, 2018
Preview of Season Two
Welcome back to Season Two! This little intro is just a teaser of some very special pre-recorded interviews. Have a listen and stay tuned for our first episode on August 12th.
*Joann and Mark on parenting and a pilgrimage to Montgomery, AL
*Allen and Gary, "Couple #100" speak of their supportive families and the importance of Marriage Equality
*Joellen is a coal miner's daughter; she and her husband break the cycle
*James pops in to say hello!
*Kristen's parents pay another visit
*Sherry is protecting YOUR pets and enjoying life with her best friend
*Miriam speaks frankly about raising a daughter with Rett Syndrome
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Jul 15, 2018
How YOU Doin'?
David and Kristen check in to talk about how they are doing in this last episode of Season 1 of THIS IS THIS. When this podcast began in early March, Kristen had just broken her ankle. It was a little over a year since her Spinal Stroke and she was newly and definitively diagnosed with SS, rather than the earlier presumption of Transverse Myelitis. Today David and Kristen recap how far they've come, what physical and emotional hurdles continue to exist, as well as one or two things they look forward to.
We'll be back August 12th with the first episode of Season 2.
Thank you for joining us!
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Jul 10, 2018
Travelin' Shoes and the Origin of Mansplaining
This week David and Kristen are keeping it light. It's the season for summer vacations and traveling. Kristen can't really do a whole of that anymore, so she's talked David into telling some of his wonderful tales of travels past.
We have one more episode after this and then we wrap up Season I. We'll take a little break and come back with Season II. This gives you a little time to catch up if you like!
Please subscribe, rate, and review! We sure do appreciate you!
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Jul 1, 2018
Vows: How Are We Doing? Part II
Kristen and David continue to take a look at their wedding vows. We wrote them and recited them. Are we living them? A love that is constant and yet ever changing.... a source of creativity and light... equal partners.... Let's find out!
We begin this episode with a bit of housekeeping: Season 1 of THIS IS THIS will wrap up on July 15th and we'll be back with Season 2 on August 12th.
If you haven't already, please subscribe, rate and review.
*If you subscribe, you'll never miss an episode.
*If you rate, more people can find us.
*If you review, we can know how we're doing and improve. Cool, right?
Thanks for joining us!
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Jun 24, 2018
Vows: How Are We Doing? Part 1
Kristen and David take a look at their wedding vows. The words and language are so important. What are we promising? What do we mean? Do we still mean it? How are we doing?
This week is Part I of an intimate look of marriage: faithfulness, sickness and health, struggle and triumph, sorrow and joy..... You get the idea.
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Jun 18, 2018
Legacy and Equality
Kristen just officiated a wedding for a couple who stunned her during their premarital counseling sessions. They were already looking ahead at how their Union would impact the world around them. Wow. Just, wow.
Hear about this beautiful wedding for a beautiful couple. This Bride and Groom very much want to make the world a better place.
Many thanks to Gabriela and Andrew for allowing me to share in the journey to their special day and the days ahead. Many thanks for allowing me to share it here on THIS IS THIS. You are the essence of hospitality and kindness.
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Jun 11, 2018
The Metafiction of Life
How do we tell the stories of our lives, remaining truthful, while omitting particularly private elements? How do we tell the story about a person's action without telling about the person?
I'm not sure I have any idea, but that's a writing goal for both of us this week.
Kristen is trying to write her "story" and David is trying to write his memories.... while leaving out some key facts. Can we do it? Should we do it? How important is it?
The layers of our lives: I bet you can relate.
Join us!
Also, please subscribe, rate, and review! It isn't easy for new listeners to find us, since we are so young on the podcast scene. BUT, if you rate and review, our This Is This community becomes a little more visible. Thank you for your support!
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Jun 3, 2018
The Big Questions
David and Kristen talk about The Big Questions...
What big questions, you ask? You know, the Usual: Babies, Life, Death, Hope, the lack thereof.
Certainly we aren't the first people to ponder the value of life, grapple with depression, wonder about legacy, imagine the hereafter, or try to answer the question, "Am I important?" Certainly we're not the first.
Join us in an honest conversation about our own personal musings about what it all means (we think[?]) and why we're here.
With love and hope, please join us.
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May 27, 2018
Sometimes You Win and Sometimes You Lose
While David attempts "miming" a podcast (it doesn't work) and it pours bucks of rain outside, Kristen talks about discouraging news from the Medical Board of South Carolina. "Dismissed!" What the heck?? And what do we do next??? Anyone? Anyone?
Also, how does someone with a disability navigate lengthy required walking distances in historic landmark venues? Yikes! ADA didn't solve everything and Kristen's at a loss. Anyone? Anyone?
But kayaking is great and her nephew is great and graduations are great and acting is great.... so there's that, at least.
Also on the list of greats are two podcasts Kristen particularly loves: a shoutout to "My Favorite Murder" and "Goop."
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May 19, 2018
At Least She's Not... 05192018
Kristen interviews her parents, the Revs. Tom and Ann Barner. They are at once thoughtful and hilarious. Hear a handful of stories of growing up in Philadelphia as well as tales Kristen herself has never heard before.
Also, Moms say the darndest things! Seriously. What the...?
Tune in for what is a typical conversation in our household.
"I hit the jackpot when I got these two as my Mom and Dad!"
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May 13, 2018
Wacky Family Stories From A Simpler Time
Kristen and David take a break from the world of Spinal Stroke and instead remember stories from a simpler time. David grew up in Richmond, Indiana with a family who loved to camp, despite crazy weather and insane diners. Kristen grew up in Pennsylvania and Virginia and wreaked a little havoc with a house full of kids.
Kick back and spend some time with us as we regale you with stories of a time when kids ran the neighborhood and parents trusted we'd survive to tell the tale.
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May 6, 2018
K's Solo Episode: Womanhood
Kristen is flying solo this week. Today's episode is pre-recorded because K & D are out of town for friends' wedding in Atlanta. So excited for them! David is finishing up a school day before they hit the road.
In this solo episode, Kristen speaks openly about the challenges of preserving her interpretation of her own sense of Womanhood since the spinal stroke. How was Womanhood identified, how has that changed, and how comfortable is this new dynamic and sense of self?
Kristen identifies three things that make up her sense of womanhood: intellect, equality, and sexuality. The third of these continues to be elusive.
...also, does this podcast make my butt look big??
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Apr 30, 2018
Two Hundred Percent
A little conversation with David and Kristen about identifying your best self. What is your two hundred percent best self? What about your partner? Do the people in your life support you and nurture your best? Do you support them? Think about that: Who are you called to be?
Also, in this week's episode, our darling dogs are ill behaved. Monty and Viva scratch and bark and cough and carry on. Apologies in advance. Welcome to our crazy home! :-)
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Apr 22, 2018
The Greatest Of These Is Love
Kristen and David explore Love, Love Languages, Shakespeare in Love, Pablo Neruda in Love, Love in Love, Premarital Counseling (total misnomer), Old Man Behind Steering Wheel, Laundry, Texts vs. Hugs, and so much more.
If you are going to get married, think long and think hard. Sometimes the Universe throws a curveball and your sacred vows step up to the plate.
Also, we really love each other.
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Apr 15, 2018
The Dude...and Hope Abide
Kristen and David explore the necessity of hope and how hope has been found in these past several months. Glass half empty? Glass half full? There's a glass! Also, a far-too-brief shout out to the extraordinary Village of people who have cared for us and inspired us. Too many names to name, but a few highlights are shared. Golly, you are all so beautiful.
Finally, surely there is something from The Big Lebowski we can use as a Zen Koan to guide us in our search.
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Apr 8, 2018
Spontaneity? What's That??
In this week's episode, David and Kristen talk about how spontaneity has gone out the window. There are a thousand little things that we all take for granted.... until they are gone. Transportation? That's a project. Getting dressed? That's a project. Going out? That's a project. Eating? Um, there will be no eating...
We'll also have a surprise visit from Kristen's favorite morning DJ.
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Apr 2, 2018
You Gotta Have Faith...Or Not 04022018
David is back this week! Kristen and David have a candid conversation about how they each responded to K's spinal stroke with (or without) faith. Do you pray? Does it matter? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people? Join in on the conversation by emailing a response. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and comment on thisisthis !
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Mar 26, 2018
Rehab: OMG! The Work!! (Part II) 03262018
Kristen is flying solo on this one. Poor David is sick as a dog, so he's out this week. (Poor guy! Ugh!) This week is about discovering goals and limitations, hopes formed and hopes dashed, an incredible community, and KUDOS to everyone who marched this weekend in March For Our Lives.
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Mar 18, 2018
Rehab: OMG! The Work!! 03182018
Inpatient rehabilitation: Oh. Em. Gee. THE WERK!!
David and Kristen talk about rehabilitation, goals, how to walk again, sandy beaches, finding the ground again, and Kristen's first crush!
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Mar 11, 2018
This is This: In the Beginning 03112018
On January 9, 2017 Kristen woke up at 3:00 AM with every symptom of a heart attack. David got up, called 911.... and the next several weeks were filled with chaos, fear, and a little bit of hope.
Join Kristen and David as together they tell the tale of how their world turned upside down in a matter of minutes.
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Mar 11, 2018
This is This: Kristen's Intro 03102018
Kristen's introduction to our new podcast, THIS IS THIS!
Her perspective on what and why we are talking about life and love with a giant personal life-altering medical event. On January 9, 2017, Kristen Barner was suddenly paralyzed from chest to toes. Her husband, David Loar, buckled in and shared this harrowing event with her. Kristen and David tell the tale of this continuing journey.
"You know what this is? This is this."
*Don't forget to subscribe to the show!
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Mar 11, 2018
David's introduction to our new podcast THIS IS THIS
David's introduction to our new podcast, THIS IS THIS!
His perspective on what and why we are talking about life and love with a spouse with a giant life-altering medical event. On January 9, 2017, Kristen Barner was suddenly paralyzed from chest to toes. Her husband, David Loar, buckled in and shared this harrowing journey with her.
"You know what this is? This is this."
*Don't forget to subscribe to the show!
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