The Startup Chat with Steli and Hiten
503: How Do You Negotiate With Yourself?
Apr 10, 2020
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In today’s episode of The Startup Chat, Steli and Hiten talk about how to negotiate with yourself.

Sometimes, we talk ourselves out of doing something that’s good for us or we know we should do. This is a common habit that a lot of founders have, and is known as self negotiation. Tts a sabotaging tactic that keeps us from changing our habits or procrastinating.

In this episode, Steli and Hiten talk about why self negotiation is a very interesting concept, when to negotiate with yourself, what negotiating with yourself can look like and much more.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:00 About the topic of today’s episode

00:31 Why this topic was chosen.

01:06 Why this is a very interesting concept.

02:28 Why the biggest impact that we can make is mostly inward and not outward.

03:27 How a lot of people negotiate.

03:49 When to negotiate with yourself. 

04:38 Things Hiten does when he negotiates with himself.

05:40 What negotiating with yourself can look like.

08:47 Hiten’s thought process for figuring out what the right thing to do is.

10:07 How Steli approaches decision making.

3 Key Points:

Usually, you negotiate with two parties instead of with yourself.For me, it’s all about figuring out if what I want to do is the right thing to do.The biggest impact that we can make is mostly inward and not outward.

[0:00:01]

Steli Efti: Hey everybody, this is Steli Efti.

[0:00:05]

Hiten Shah: And this is Hiten Shah. Today on The Startup Chat we're going to talk about, how do you negotiate with yourself. This is based on a tweet. I think it was James Clear on Twitter that tweeted it and then I retweeted it and Steli saw it, put it on our list to talk about. We're jumping in. We're going to talk about how you negotiate with yourself. I think it's a very interesting concept. It's something that... One of those things that when you read it you're like, huh, what does that mean? How do I do that? I think that's really where the discussion starts.So to me, negotiating with yourself is almost like... Usually you negotiate because there's two parties and they want different things. They're not aligned yet. I think in a way you could say either it's because I'm watching too many shows right now and random things. There's a show called Limitless and there's also a movie called Limitless. The main character takes a pill and the pill makes him super smart. When he does that, pretty much when everyone takes the pill, they see a part of their psyche, whether it's somebody else they love or themselves and they start talking to themselves. And literally what they're doing is, they're negotiating about what to do because now all of a sudden they're super smart. They need someone to talk to apparently, but it's all in their own psyche. But it's someone to talk to you to negotiate what they should do.

[0:01:38]

Steli Efti: That's interesting. I saw the movie. I've never watched the show. The reason I put this on the list of potential topics was that I don't retweet that many tweets. When I saw this in my timeline, you had retweeted it, I instantly retweeted it. Then after the fact, I was like, why did I retweet this? Right? What about it was compelling? What made me want to share this more widely and to me, And to me I think that the biggest battles that we fight, the biggest impact we can have, is mostly inward and not outward. It's like being in competition with yourself is the negotiations we have with ourselves, is improving ourselves. I think that an incredible amount of value can be created when you see all the versions of yourself that exist. When you are observant and mindful and present to your thoughts, your feelings, your mental states, your habits, and you're not just the victim of your impulses and your thoughts and your character, but you're in negotiation with that and you're aware of it and you're mold...

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