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Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW
What is the Concept of ‘Home’, Really?
Dr. Rob does a solo episode this week to talk about the concept of home and what it means to us and how it differs from people who aren’t addicts. No matter where you are, home is meant to be a safe place, but for addicts, it’s a place we run away from. If you grew up in an environment where home was hell, then it makes sense why you never want to go back there. Dr. Rob discusses how you can rebuild and really find ‘HOME’. TAKEAWAYS: [1:45] Let’s talk about the concept of home. [2:30] Why do addicts keep running away from home? [4:20] Home is not what kind of furniture you have or what kind of car you drive, or your computer. Home is the people you come home to or that place where you feel like you’re at peace. [4:50] If you have an intimacy disorder, you’re not going to be able to maintain the home you’ve created for yourself as an adult. [5:30] We deeply love the homes we create, but we’re broken people and we’re unable to stay there. [6:25] The minute something goes wrong, we run away. We live double lives. [7:10] While you’re starving for connection, behind you there is a banquet waiting for you. [10:45] We often don’t see what’s right in front of us. [15:10] It makes sense why you want to run away from home. If you grow up in a nightmare, why would you want to stay there as an adult? [18:00] Going ‘home’ for the holidays was just a crazy concept. Home was a scary and unsafe place. [22:30] You can only have one life. Do you want to spend it just running away from everything that’s important to you? [23:00] How can we make home a joyful and exciting place to be? [25:30] When we get caught for our bad behavior, home ends up being another unsafe place for us. But this time, instead of running away, you need to fight your way back to it. [26:55] It’s taken Dr. Rob years to stop running. [29:10] How do you find and rebuild connection again? [32:00] Your life is going to change for the better. Just put in the work. [33:25] The most important word is ‘Home’. RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency QUOTES: * “Home is the most sacred place in our lives, no matter what kind of foundation that means for us.” * “What addicts and those who cheat and/or are unfaithful do, we leave home like everybody else, but then we never come back.” * “The nature of an intimacy disorder means you’re constantly running away from home. Constantly looking for intensity and distractions because you can’t deal with home.” * “Healthy people don’t have to live a double life.”
35 min
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony, CPCC
Breaking Free of Trauma Bonds with Gwynn Raimondi
The topic of trauma bonds is one of the biggest conversations that circulate within my Facebook group and also with clients. In fact, it is one of the biggest obstacles women tackle as they extricate themselves from a toxic relationship. So this week, I am bringing back my friend Gwynn Raimondi to talk all about trauma bonds. Gwynn is a writer, Trauma Support Practitioner, Relational Systems Explorer, and the creator of the Trauma-Informed Embodiment™ modality. The typical advice given to those breaking free from toxic relationships is to go no contact. Unfortunately, if you are a parent, going no contact isn’t an option. You don’t have the luxury of doing that when you share children with the person you have a trauma bond with. In this episode, Gwynn helps us understand what a trauma bond is and how you can set healthy boundaries in order to break free. Show Highlights * What are trauma bonds and how do we recognize them? Plus, the two definitions of trauma bonds. (8:12) * How trauma bonds are formed within long-term abusive partnerships. (9:07) * The reason you can’t heal from trauma bonds on your own and why you don’t go to therapy with an abuser. (13:52) * How to break free from a trauma bond. (21:40) * The basics of what a healthy relationship should look like. (31:24) Learn More About Gwynn: Gwynn is a writer, Trauma Support Practitioner, Relational Systems Explorer and the creator of the Trauma Informed Embodiment™ modality. She specializes in complex (childhood, relational, & attachment based) traumas, grief, embodiment, and their intersections. She has written extensively over the last several years about many different types of trauma and the ways they impact our relationships. She offers online groups and programs periodically throughout the year, as well as works with individual clients via Zoom. Resources & Links: Gwynn on Instagram Gwynn on Facebook Gwynn’s newsletter Gwynn’s Current Workshops and Offerings Rhian Lockard on Divorce Survival Guide Big Little Lies FAYR App The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
52 min
Relationship Alive!
Relationship Alive!
Neil Sattin
244: A Practical Approach for Big Changes
When you want to shift something in your life, sometimes the scale of the change can seem daunting. So how do you get from point A to point B (or...point Z) in a way that's actually doable - and sustainable? It can be tempting to take drastic actions to make big changes - but you might sabotage your changes by falling into your old habits. Today we'll talk about how you can create positive changes in your relationship, or something else in your life, in a way that's practical, and relatively easy - no matter how big the change. As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Resources: Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship. I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) Support the podcast (or text “SUPPORT” to 33444) Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today's topic is going to be how we can create big changes in our lives, but in ways that are sustainable. Because if you do something big to change your life but then you just fall back into old patterns, well, you're going to get the same results you've always gotten. Do the same thing, get the same results. So how can you create a big change in a way that you're going to be able to keep going, that you're going to be able to follow through on, so that it doesn't become just some other big resolution or a promise that you make to yourself that you can't keep? That is what we are going to talk about in today's episode, and I'm going to use an example from my personal life that I've experienced over the past few months so that you can get a sense of what I'm talking about. Neil Sattin: First, I just want to say thank you for being here with me. This wouldn't be a show without you being here with me to talk about relationship issues, and all these different facets of how to show up more fully in our lives, in our relationship with ourselves and in our relationship with the people who are most important to us. So thank you for being here with me. Neil Sattin: Okay, I think that's it. Let's get on with the show, shall we? So when it comes to making big changes in your life, a lot of people talk about the need to take massive action. If you want radically different results, you have to do things radically differently. And on some level, that's true. And often, taking massive action can sometimes be necessary, because sometimes the changes that you want to make, if you want to, for instance, leave a relationship, those kinds of decisions and choices and actions can feel huge, and you have to do this big thing in order to create some momentum in a new direction. But it can be common for people to take a huge action, to feel all this energy and momentum, maybe you've even gone to some personal development seminar and you come back all pumped for the big things that are going to change in your life, and then day after day, week after week, you find that it's hard to maintain the big change. Neil Sattin: And this sometimes happens. I mentioned the ending of a relationship as an example. It's a good example because sometimes, I'm sure if you haven't experienced this, you've known people who have experienced it, where they take a big action, they decide they're going to leave their relationship, they even announce it to their partner, and then it never quite happens. Or it does happen, but then somehow they end up back together again, and back in the same old patterns that they were always in, and the same old misery, and the same old reasons for not being together in the first place. So it's not all doom and gloom, fortunately, but there has to be something else to back up whatever big changes you are trying to make in your life. Neil Sattin: And those could be big changes like ending a relationship, or it could be big changes like making your relationship better, because maybe you simply want to improve the way things are in your relationship. And this is another thing where it can be like, "Alright, we're going to have a date night every week. We're going to make sure that we take three vacations. We're going to show up every day in ways that are loving and caring." And on and on. "We're going to explore new realms of sexual ecstasy together." But then in the end comes... What is it? After the something, the laundry. Like, there's the day-to-day quality of life and how challenging it can be to sustain anything like that, even if you have the best intentions and the best desires and the most brilliant vision for how you want a thing to be. Neil Sattin: Because the big things are inherently not sustainable, they take lots of energy, they take lots of time, they can take lots of thought and planning. Even though initially they're somewhat abrupt, if you want to keep those things going, then it requires a lot from you, and that's why it's not sustainable. And then you have this other problem, which is... Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode? Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!
43 min
Therapy Thoughts
Therapy Thoughts
Therapy Thoughts
BONUS EPISODE: Social Justice, Self Compassion, and Shame with Lindo Bacon
Just when you thought we had released all the episodes until next season we have another Bonus Episode for you! This is an amazing social justice oriented episode between Lindo Bacon and Tiffany. Can't wait to see you soon for Season 4 of Therapy Thoughts! --- More About Lindo Bacon: Dr. Lindo Bacon is a researcher and former professor, and for nearly two decades taught courses in social justice, health, weight, and nutrition. Dr. Bacon holds a Ph.D. in physiology with a specialty in nutrition, and master’s degrees in psychology and exercise metabolism. Dr. Bacon has mined their deep academic proficiency, their clinical expertise, and their personal experience to write two bestselling books, Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight, and the co-authored Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, or Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight. Their newly released book, Radical Belonging: How to Survive and Thrive in an Unjust World (While Transforming it for the Better), takes their inspiring message beyond size, to shaping a culture of empathy, equity, and true belonging. Check out Lindo's new book Radical Belonging at https://lindobacon.com/radical-belonging-book/ You can find Lindo on Twitter and Facebook at @LindoBaconX and on Instagram at @LindoBacon --- © 2020. All Rights Reserved Tiffany Roe, LLC. The Therapy Thoughts Podcast is for general informational purposes only. Not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, illness, or disease. Not intended to be financial, legal, medical or therapeutic advice. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/therapythoughts/support
50 min
At The End of The Tunnel
At The End of The Tunnel
Light Watkins
Consolee Nishimwe on Surviving Genocide and How She Was Able to Heal Herself and Find Hope - Ep 035
When the word “genocide” comes to mind, one might think these heinous acts occurred deep in history. Yet they’ve occurred as recently as 1994, when 800,000 innocent Tutsi Rwandans were attacked by their fellow countrymen.  Today, we speak to Consolee Nishimwe about her experience surviving the Rwandan Genocide and how her life as a survivor. We open the show by learning about the history between the Hutu and Tutsi social classes and find out how Belgian colonial powers turned these two groups against one another.  Consolee then expands on this, describing her childhood as a “privileged” Tutsi, and how shame was cast down on her for this status. She touches on her living conditions, and colors a vile picture of the genocide, talking about how machetes became a symbolic weapon of choice and ways Rwandan radio encouraged the ruthless murder of Tutsi people.  In the latter half of the show, listeners will find out about how Rwanda slowly returned to a state of normalcy. Although a different path to what she’d imagined as a child, Consolee now uses her story as a tool to help others. She talks about how she uses it to inspire survivors to come out and tell their story.  To hear more about Consolee and her incredible story of struggle, survival, and ultimately triumph, be sure to join us for this very special episode. *Key Points From This Episode:* * Introducing Consolee Nishimwe, a genocide survivor and today’s guest. * Consolee tells us about her simple childhood and the fun she’d create for herself * We learn about the two previously competing ethnic groups in Rwanda.  * How Belgium incited tensions and divide between these two groups. * Being aware of her status as a Tutsi as a child. * Ways that Tutsis were treated since 1959.  * How Consolee’s family status was well-known in her village. * How Consolee felt as a young Tutsi. * RTLM Hit Radio and its place in society. * Why the machete became the weapon of choice during the genocide. * Consolee talks about how everything changed in her village the day the genocide began. * Hear about Cnsolee’s experiences of day-to-day survival. * Despite being part of a Christian family, how Consolee received the most help from a Muslim friend. * Consolee’s experiences with sexual assault. * We take stock of what happened in the first 100 days of the genocide. * How Rwanda returned to a state of normalcy after the genocide. * Consolee describes her mental wellbeing, post-genocide. * What interactions were like with Hutus once the genocide was over. * Consolee’s genocide experiences as a tool to help others. * We hear Consolee’s thoughts on the current American political divide. * How Consolee stays so hopeful and how she defines success. * How Consolee would approach a survivor. * Console answers the question: How does a survivor know that they’ve healed? *Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:* Consolee Nishimwe Consolee Nishimwe on Twitter Consolee Nishimwe on Instagram Tested to the Limit: A Genocide Survivor's Story of Pain, Resilience, and Hope on Amazon Ralph Waldo Emerson
1 hr 20 min
Therapy Chat
Therapy Chat
Laura Reagan, LCSW-C
261: Understanding The Process Psychedelic Somatic Trauma Therapy with Saj Razvi
Welcome back to Therapy Chat! In this week's episode, host Laura Reagan, LCSW-C resumes part two of her interview with Saj Razvi, LPC, a clinician and director of education for the Psychedelic Somatic Institute. Listen in for a fascinating discussion on how psychedelics can help us go deeper in the process of healing trauma. Saj explains how psychedelics help us access different states of consciousness and why this matters in therapy for complex trauma. He explains the various models of psychedelic-assisted trauma therapy and how Psychedelic Somatic Institute teaches therapists to legally provide psychotherapy to clients using psychedelic medicine in private practice settings, and how this contributes to greater access to these healing medicines than has been available previously. * Register here (affiliate link) for a webinar to learn more about PSI's training * Read the White Paper that was recently published in the Journal of Psychedelic Psychiatry * Check out the PSI website: https://psychedelicsomatic.org * Listen to episode 218, Laura's interview with Dr. Craig Heacock on his work in the MAPS studies with MDMA. * Sign up to be the first to know when registration for Laura's Trauma Therapist Consultation groups opens in February, 2021! Leave me a message via Speakpipe by going to https://therapychatpodcast.com and clicking on the green Speakpipe button. Thank you for listening to Therapy Chat! Please be sure to go to iTunes and leave a rating and review, subscribe and download episodes. You can also download the Therapy Chat app on iTunes by clicking here. Podcast produced by Pete Bailey - https://petebailey.net/audio
47 min
Unapologetically Sensitive
Unapologetically Sensitive
Patricia Young
101 Everything Is Love; I Love Myself with Sarah Buino, LCSW
TITLE Everything is Love; I Love Myself GUEST Sarah Buino, LCSW EPISODE OVERVIEW In a culture that values and rewards productivity, it can be challenging for the Highly Sensitive Person, who thrives at being vs. doing. Sarah talks about coming to fully love herself. We talk about trauma training, boundaries, developmental trauma. We talk about the gifts and challenges of living during COVID. Sarah talks about her Kundalini Awakening, and we talk about the spiritual bypass. GUEST Sarah Buino, LCSW, CADC, RDDP, CDWF is a therapist, teacher, speaker, and podcaster. She is a NARM Therapist and Certified Daring Way Facilitator, teaches at Loyola University, and hosts two podcasts: Conversations with a Wounded Healer and Transforming Trauma. She owns a group psychotherapy practice in Chicago. PODCAST HOST Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and Coach. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller. Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion. She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other HSPs know that they aren’t alone, and that being an HSP has amazing gifts, and some challenges. Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for HSPs that focus on understanding what it means to be an HSP, self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors us. LINKS Sarah’s Links Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy Instagram--https://www.instagram.com/headhearttherapy Facebook--https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr Twitter--https://twitter.com/HeadHeart_Chi Twitter--https://twitter.com/WoundedHealr LinkedIn--https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahbuino/ Website-- www.headhearttherapy.com James Masterson Roru/Woru— https://www.contemporarypsychotherapy.org/volume-4-issue-2-winter-2012/living-between-rewarding-and-withdrawing-paradigms-of-experience/ The Nap Ministry-- https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/ Living between rewarding and withdrawing paradigms-- https://www.contemporarypsychotherapy.org/volume-4-issue-2-winter-2012/living-between-rewarding-and-withdrawing-paradigms-of-experience/ NARM—Neuro-Affective Relational Model https://narmtraining.com/what-is-narm/ Sarah Buino Episode 50: Boundaries—I want to be the one to stop it here-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/episode-50/ Episode 100—Sarah Buino interviews Patricia Young-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/episode-100-sarah-buino-interviews-patricia-young/ Patricia’s Links HSP Online Course--https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/hsp-online-groups/ Unapologetically Sensitive Merchandise-- https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/merchandise/ Online HSP Course Materials (no group included) https://patriciayounglcsw.com/product-category/hsp-classes/ Podcast Survey-- https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe-fAYIyFgVb0VHlDorfm8ZdXClCcYDlv0cSP2RXZSZY16SIQ/viewform Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6 Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4 To write a review in itunes: * click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 * select “listen on Apple Podcasts” * chose “open in itunes” * choose “ratings and reviews” * click to rate the number of starts * click “write a review” Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Closed/Private Facebook group for therapists and healers-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/208565440423641/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok-- https://www.tiktok.com/@hsppodcast e-mail-- unapologeticallysensitive@gmail.com Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Shelly Aaron Productions—shellyaaronproductions@gmail.com Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com
58 min
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