Pep Talk: You Are Needy (And That's OK)
Play episode · 21 min

You're needy, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you think you are too needy, this pep talk is for you. 

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Relationship Alive!
Relationship Alive!
Neil Sattin
239: How to Avoid the Negative Bypass
Do you ever feel like you *should* have gotten over something challenging - that you’ve grown, and learned from the experience, but that on some level it still haunts you? Or do you feel inner conflict around decisions that seem like they should be relatively clear-cut? Are you afraid of failure? It could very well be that you have bypassed or suppressed your negative emotions, and that they’re now stuck inside you, wreaking havoc on your inner guidance system. By not facing failures or challenges head on, we actually create an emotional dissonance within ourselves that’s an obstacle to moving forward. Today we’ll talk about how to face things when they’re not quite the way you want them to be - and how to develop the inner honesty that will help you feel aligned and courageous no matter what’s happening in your life. As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Resources: Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship. I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) Support the podcast (or text “SUPPORT” to 33444) Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today is going to be an episode about truth, and more specifically why it is so important for you to be truthful with yourself and why that sometimes means that you have to go negative, and why it's so important to not be bypassing your negative experiences. And I'm talking to you from the perspective of someone who is almost always optimistic about life, even in my darkest moments, I generally am able to look on the bright side, and that's a helpful skill in life. In fact, there's a whole branch of psychology, positive psychology, that is at least in part based on this idea of how we make meaning in the world and trying to make positive meanings out of the things that happen to us and what a difference that makes. However, there is a danger in that skill, and today we're going to talk about what the danger is to make sure that you are not gas-lighting yourself, and instead that you're able to best use the truth for your own growth, and so to really understand what's happening in your life right now, because it can be so easy to miss what's challenging, what's truly challenging for the sake of a quick silver lining. Neil Sattin: All right, let's dive into the topic at hand. So what is true? When you look at your life, you don't want to make things out to be worse than they are, you don't want to make mountains out of molehills, as they say, but you also don't necessarily want to make things out to be better than they are. In a way where we've been having in our world today sort of a crisis of truth, what do you believe, and we could have all kinds of conversations about how to figure out what the facts are in the outside world, but today we're going to talk about what the facts are in your inner world, and why that is so important for you. You want to be able to face your failures. And failure is a charged word. I mean, a few episodes ago, you may have heard in my session with David Burns where I confronted this idea that I was a failure and it was one of the negative thoughts, the pernicious negative thoughts that was bringing me down and contributing to my being overwhelmed with the sheer number of things that I had to do. Neil Sattin: And yet... And David and working with me did a really effective job of helping me bust through the negative thought, the cognitive distortion in order to get what was true. And that is super important work. This today's episode is not about suddenly everyone becoming pessimists or for you to suddenly be shitting on yourself all the time. That's not what today's episode is about. However, sometimes when you're looking at reality, you have to admit that the reality isn't what you wanted it to be. And just kind of a quick cursory noticing of that might not really be enough for some important reasons. Neil Sattin: Now, it might be enough to recognize that your life isn't the way that you want it to be, that something really sucks for just a moment in order to get resourceful and start strategizing about ways to change things, and if you are anything like me, and I know that because you're here listening, you are at least a growth-minded person, then that might be something that's relatively easy for you, "This sucks, how am I going to make it better?" And then you start strategizing. But the problem with that is that there is a place in us where the hurt, where the sadness, where the anger, where all of the feelings that are stirred up by the results that we are getting in our lives that don't quite line up with what we wanted, whether it's through our actions or through the actions of others, there's a place in us where those negative feelings live... Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode? Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!
39 min
Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women Podcast | Magnetize Your Man
Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women Podcast | Magnetize Your Man
Antia Boyd - Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women
How To Deal With Stonewalling & Stonewalling Emotional Abuse (5 Effective Strategies!)
HOW TO DEAL WITH STONEWALLING & STONEWALLING EMOTIONAL ABUSE (5 EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES!) Stonewalling psychology and stonewalling abuse psychology are key to knowing how to communicate with someone who shuts down. If you’ve struggled with experiencing contempt in relationships or feeling unimportant in a relationship, then knowing how to handle these negative communication styles when a man shuts down emotionally will be super valuable for you. Dismissive behavior in relationships can be especially challenging, and if you’ve experienced emotional disengagement or your partner shutting down emotionally, then this training will really help! 🥰 ♥ Get Your FREE "Magnetize Your Man" Quiz & Personalized Strategy To Start Attracting The Right Man For You Now Here! https://MagnetizeYourMan.com Subscribe For FREE Training Videos & Updates Here! http://bit.ly/2WSL6wO If You Liked This Training, Please Rate It & Leave A Review About What You Most Enjoyed So I’ll Make Sure To Make More Like This For You Soon! Get Access To The Full Blog Article & Transcript Here! https://MagnetizeYourMan.com/Blog Join Our FREE “Magnetize Your Man” Facebook Dating Support Group For Incredible Support, Accountability & More Bonus Trainings Using The Special Link Here! http://bit.ly/2KVyN0C Subscribe To My Podcast On iTunes Here: https://apple.co/2MYHM3T On Spotify Here: https://spoti.fi/2QC3x8Y Or On Google Podcasts Here! https://bit.ly/2SEC3QP Follow Me On Facebook For More FREE Updates & Behind The Scenes Bonuses Here! http://bit.ly/31Kvyz9 Follow Me On Instagram As Well Here! http://bit.ly/2WR4MX2  💗 About Antia Boyd 💗 I was born in eastern Germany before the wall came down, and was single my ENTIRE LIFE before I finally had an epiphany, a total breakthrough and developed my signature system called the "Magnetize Your Man Method". It's the exact method that I used to attract my handsome, strong & supportive hubby Brody! I’ve now been helping thousands of elite single women all over the world for over a decade to attract the right man for them to share their life with & have a loving relationship ASAP without loneliness, trust issues or wasting time attracting EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MEN! I studied Personality Psychology at U.C. Berkeley, am NLP and Dream Coaching certified and have spoken on hundreds of stages and radio shows all over the world including Harvard University, Google and Good Morning San Diego. I’ve also been featured on ABC Radio, America Trends TV, The Great Love Debate and for over a decade studied EVERYTHING that I could get my hands on in the areas of love, dating and creating an amazing, happy family of your own the easy way without fear, unhealthy relationships or endless dating I now live in the beautiful San Diego area of California with my loving, stable & committed husband of 6 years, and I look forward to helping YOU to feel safe to be open & vulnerable, have fun & travel the world with the ideal guy for you without feeling insecure or choosing the wrong men! 💗 💗 Amazing Client Love Stories & Reviews! 💗 “Hi Antia, my man and I are very happy as we are exploring and enjoy our new life together. Our coaching together was very helpful in my ability to stay centered in the reality of a true intimate loving relationship unfolding. It has also helped me in nurturing it too. Thanks so much for your support!” -A.G. Support the show (https://MagnetizeYourMan.com)
14 min
Relationship Advice
Relationship Advice
Chase & Sarah Kosterlitz
272: Understanding Our Sexual Needs For A Better Relationship
We all have ideal sexual ideas for what we'd like to see in our relationship. Often these ideals are not met, or understood, resulting in relationship issues. Listen to today's show to learn how to identify your sexual needs, communicate them with your partner and improve your relationship. In this episode, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: * What to do when you're sexually dissatisfied in your relationship * Why sexuality can disproportionately affect relationship satisfaction * Understanding your sexual ideals and communicating them with your partner * Learning about yourself as a sexual being in order to improve the sex in your relationship * Why society sometimes minimizes our sexual needs * And much more! Dr. David Ley is a psychologist and sex therapist who has appeared in the New York Times, The Daily Show, Playboy Magazine, as well as publishing numerous books and research articles on sexual issues. For more information on our guest, and for the episode links visit: https://idopodcast.com/272 Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Podcast Series: Love Under Quarantine Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Join our 5 Day Couples Appreciation Challenge here: idopodcast.com/appreciation Do you want to hear more on this topic? Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Help Support The Show! Donate Here. Sponsors Trivia Star: Trivia Star is offering you 2,500 coins and 500 gems when you download and play. Search Trivia Star in the Apple App Store or Google Store and download Trivia Star for FREE today! AndStillIVote.org: Join the fight for voting rights today! Paid for by The Leadership Conference Education Fund.​ If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah
39 min
Breakup Recovery Podcast
Breakup Recovery Podcast
Barbara Stevens - Breakups, Separations, Divorce, Self Help, Healing, Survi
#112 How To Survive The Holiday Season As A Single Person with Martha Bodyfelt
As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery. Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy. For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support system in the form of a therapist helped Martha. It was draining trying to project this image of the perfect wife, the perfect marriage. When she finally was honest with her self and became vulnerable and started telling friends, co-workers and family and not bottling all her emotions up inside of her she began the healing process. Martha started to do things that she felt she couldn’t do when she was in the marriage, She travel to the places she wanted go to and started some of her own traditions. It took a few Christmas to get into the swing of things and the number one thing she had to do was to learn how to manage her expectations at this time of the year. So often when relationships end and it comes to the holidays you can be down on yourself, saying things like why can’t I be happy, why can’t I have this togetherness, why can’t I have the perfect holiday. But if you take a step back and realise that maybe things are going to be a bit more subdued for a while and that’s ok. It’s a matter of having things that are simple and things that you love, if you expect that things are going to be small and simple, then your not going to be disappointed. Martha believes you also have to be careful of your selective memories. Often at this time of the year you can cherry pick all the good and amazing things that happened when you were with your partner during the holiday season. You forget the rest of the story, some of the things that weren’t that good. So often you like to paint the picture that when you were with your partner everything was great and it probably wasn’t, so you have to be honest with yourself and don’t compare yourself and what is happening now with past experiences. During this holiday season put yourself first for a change, do what you want, forget the expectations and traditions that have previously been part of your life. Now is the time to create your own traditions and do what you like and take care of yourself. This is an opportunity to change your outlook into more of a positive one. Instead of seeing this holiday season as a sad and traumatic time you have now been given this gift for you find out what you want to do and how you want to celebrate it. When you are in a relationship you tend to do things as a unit, what is good for the unit, what’s good for your partner, what’s good for the couple. But you have to be careful that you don’t loose yourself and identify when you are in a relationship. When you get out of a relationship you often don’t remember how to putt your self first and find what interests you. Self-care is so important to the recovery process and doing these things that make you happy don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. In life we have to have a balance with everything and the holidays are no different. If you find that the holidays are triggering things for you and the holidays are making it difficult for you to function and you feel that you are getting stuck. Martha encourages you to work with a therapist or join a divorce support group or single support group, that you can lean on and help you through this difficult process after your breakup. There can be many days that will trigger your memories such as your wedding day. Martha offered a way to get through this particular day by thinking of something that happened during that day that you liked a good memory and incorporate that into that day each year. For Martha the good memory of her wedding day was the Greek restaurant that they went to and each year on her anniversary Martha either cooks herself an amazing Greek meal or goes out to a Greek restaurant. So now her anniversary is no longer a day where she mourns the ending of her marriage but a day where she gets to eat amazing Greek food. You can connect with Martha @ survivingyoursplit.com and when you sign up for her newsletter you will get the Ultimate Divorce Goddess Recovery Guide.
23 min
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