Play Therapy Parenting Podcast
Dr. Brenna Hicks
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The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now. The Play Therapy Parenting Podcast is hosted by Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor®. All content, no fluff.
Available episodes
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Aug 5, 2023
Your Kids Aren't Manipulating You... Busting The "Manipulation" Myth
I frequently hear from parents something along the line of "My kid is so manipulative!" I'd like to challenge the notion that kids are manipulating parents and others around them and give you a new perspective and re-frame for you what exactly kids are doing that parents interpret as being manipulative.
In this episode of the podcast, I discuss the following topics:
* The concept of abstract reasoning
* Organic, natural cause of "manipulation"
* Kids don't have alternatives when they are stuck in a pattern of behavior
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jul 19, 2023
What To Do When Reflecting Feelings "Doesn't Work" (Advanced Reflecting Feelings Tips)
Listener Stephanie emailed me with a follow-up question to my episode titled: "'I Hate My Life!' – What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things" and described a few situations where her 7-year-old son reacts with shocking responses, but the reflecting feelings process didn't work as expected. In this episode, I give Stephanie some follow-up advice on using the reflecting feelings skill with some advanced tips to help when it feels like reflecting feelings isn't working.
* The depth of the feeling impacts the recovery. The larger the emotion, the more time it may take for feeling reflection to take effect. It's not an instant fix.
* Enlarge the meaning
* You always reflect on the new feeling that was most recently expressed
* Bonus tip: Provide alternatives (later)
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jul 14, 2023
How To Explain Separation, Divorce, Dating, And Remarriage To Young Children
A listener to the podcast emailed me a question regarding explaining dating and remarriage to young children. In this episode, I discuss the related topics related to this matter.
* Age appropriate truth
* Neutral discussions without emotion
* Setting expectations
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jun 23, 2023
What To Do When Choice Giving "Isn't Working"
Listeners Dan and Clay emailed me similar questions regarding "roadblocks" in the choice-giving process. In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* The purpose behind why we give choices
* Hindrances to the choice-giving process (congruence, choices given only in negative situations, understanding the "why")
* Kids need opportunities to practice receiving choices
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jun 1, 2023
Beyond the Split: Understanding the Emotional Consequences of Divorce on Children
"Only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child's psyche than the divorce process" - American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 1997
In this episode, I'm going to talk about the following topics from a child's perspective:
* Change
* The emotional processing of a divorce vs the rational side
* Trust, safety, and security
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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May 16, 2023
Turning Tragedy into Advocacy: A Father's Mission for Child Mental Health Awareness
"When I look back, knowing what I know now, there were signs..."
In this special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I had the privilege to interview Jason Reid, founder of Tell My Story (www.tellmystory.org) and Choose Life (www.chooselife.org). May is Mental Health Awareness month, and Jason, who lost his 14-year-old son to suicide, is determined to reach every parent and every family about the conversation they need to have with their kids.
Jason's mission has enlarged from informing parents about the signs of suicide in kids, to overall mental health awareness in kids and adults.
Visit Jason's organizations:
Tell My Story - https://tellmystory.org/
Choose Life - https://www.chooselife.org/
Songs for the Drive Home:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLl9DqLcFH-0J_xyePQGp-CSfKGXJFSyTW
Tell My Story documentary trailer:
https://wellbeings.org/films/tell-my-story/
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Apr 27, 2023
Are Our Kids Mentally Healthy? (How To Assess And What To Do About It)
As parents, we want the best for our children. However, in today's world, we are faced with new challenges when it comes to our children's mental health. The news is flooded with child mental health crises, and a recent survey found that child mental health is the #1 concern among parents right now.
In this episode, I dive deep into this important topic and share practical tips that can help. We know how tough it can be to assess our children's mental well-being, primarily when they cannot communicate their feelings. That's why we discuss how to identify signs of stress or anxiety and offer insights into what we can do to support our children through these challenges.
We also explore the academic pressure children face and its impact on their mental health. It's understood that you want your child to succeed, but we also know how important it is to prioritize their mental well-being. I offer advice on supporting your child academically while creating a balanced and healthy environment at home.
Finally, we discuss the impact of busy schedules on our children's well-being. We know how easy it is to get caught up in a hectic routine, but we also know that a healthy schedule is critical to our children's mental health. We provide practical tips for creating a balanced schedule that supports your child's mental health and overall well-being.
The three topics I discuss in this episode are:
* We need to understand how to asses our children's mental well-being
* We need to address the academic pressures
* We need to consider our children's schedules
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Apr 20, 2023
At The Heart Of Parenting Success Is The Relationship: 4 Keys To Parenting Mastery
In this episode, I want to bring us back to the most foundational aspect of parenting... the relationship. Using the 4 Pillars of Play Therapy skills is the best way to preserve your relationship with your child when you have to discipline, or when you are trying to encourage self-esteem, self-regulation, and self-reliance.
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Apr 14, 2023
Encouragement, Self-fulfilling Prophecy, And How We Influence This In Our Kids
In this episode of the podcast I wanted to talk about encouragement and self-fulfilling prophecy. I recently wrote a quote into my quote book that was the inspiration for this episode. It goes like this: The friend said, "Elsa, You have a wrong picture of yourself." Elsa replied, "Even if that is true, what does a person do about it? The things your parents say to you, and the things your husband doesn't say to you, become a mirror, don't they? You see yourself as they see you, and no matter how far you come, you bring that mirror with you."
Based on that quote, I want to talk about the following topics:
* The concept of "looking glass self"
* Verbal and non-verbal self-concept, and how we develop our identity based on both
* The empowerment process, and how encouragement plays a part
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Apr 7, 2023
From Screen Time to Green Time: How "Friluftsliv" Can Improve Your Parenting
Friluftsliv is a Norwegian word that roughly translates to "open-air living." Norway recently topped a survey of countries that rated its people on happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health. Friluftsliv is often sited as the reason, and I tie this Norweigian philosophy to play therapy principles.
In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* Happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health
* Helicopter parenting vs trial-and-error parenting
* Enjoyment and self-improvement
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Mar 29, 2023
Building Your Child's Confidence Through Evidence
As parents, we all want our children to believe in themselves with confidence. But sometimes, even when we continue to reassure them, they lack the self-trust to tackle hard tasks or prove that they are capable. I got an email from a pitching coach (my son is a pitcher) discussing his take on what builds confidence in kids. He thinks that confidence comes from evidence of improvement, which aligns well with the play therapy philosophy.
In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* Battle between the head and heart
* The identity the child is working to establish
* What is the process of confidence coming from evidence
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Mar 22, 2023
The Hidden Danger: How Social Media Is Enabling Kids To Buy And Sell Drugs
In this episode, I discuss the dangerous intersection of social media and drug culture. Snapchat and Instagram are the two most common platforms for advertising and selling drugs. According to recent statistics, the overdose mortality rate for teenagers increased by 94% from 2019 to 2020, with at least one in four teens acknowledging that they have seen drugs advertised and sold on social media. We must be informed parents and vigilant in monitoring our children's social media activity to prevent them from falling victim to the underground drug world.
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Teens are using emoji and secret lingo to find illegal drugs. How parents can crack the code
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Mar 15, 2023
Middle Schoolers: The Most Maligned And Misunderstood Age Group
One of the parents at my center sent me an article by Deborah Farmer Kris titled: "Your middle school child is the most amazing person." I loved this author's perspective on middle schoolers and wanted to give a play therapy perspective.
The author makes four points in the article that I add play therapy-based insight on:
* Middle schoolers are a jumble of contradictions
* Let your face light up
* Don't take their outbursts personally
* Remember that your child is listening
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Your middle school child is the most amazing person
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Mar 10, 2023
Co-Parenting With Confidence: Navigating Timesharing Challenges
In this episode, I answer the most asked question at my counseling center... "How do I deal with timesharing". In it, I provide practical advice and strategies for co-parenting well in a timeshare situation, focusing on creating a stable, predictable routine for the child, finding the right balance between structure and flexibility, and prioritizing the child's well-being.
Specific topics I discuss are:
* Co-parenting well in a timeshare situation
* Length of time between changes
* Having flexibility for the child's benefit
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Feb 24, 2023
Reconnecting with Your Child: Overcoming Disconnection and Building Stronger Relationships
In this episode, we receive an email from Mike, a loving father who feels disconnected from his 9-year-old daughter. Mike has been listening to the podcast and feels that he may have contributed to his daughter's recent struggles with anger, negative self-esteem, and problems with her friends.
I think everything points to a relationship fracture. So I talk about that and what to do. Mike also asks me "Can I fix it?" and the answer is yes, absolutely. Finally, I talk about his daughter's big emotions
Please check the links below, as I've linked to other podcasts that will give you more understanding and explain some of the techniques I talk about.
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* The Dad Episode! – 4 Tips For Dads Implementing Pla…
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Feb 20, 2023
Addiction To Social Media ("Sucked Into The Endless Scroll")
I was struck by a story I read the other day about a teen who was heavily addicted to social media, and he went on a complete, cold-turkey detox away from social media. In this episode, I talk about the following topics:
* The story of an addicted teen
* The addictive nature of social media
* What a complete detox is like and the results
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Feb 10, 2023
Alarming Survey Results: Mental Health Top Concern Among Parents
In a recent Pew Research survey, mental health emerged as the top concern for parents regarding their children. This was a little surprising to me, considering all the other issues that face parents and kids, such as drugs, alcohol, teenage pregnancy, getting in trouble with the law, and bullying.
In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* The list of concerns, and why mental health tops this list
* The concern about the suicide rates of kids
* How social media correlates with the decline in mental health
* What steps we can take as parents to protect our kids
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jan 31, 2023
How To Bond And Connect With Your Baby In The Best Way
One of the podcast listeners, Josh, emailed me and asked how to best connect with their baby. Play therapy principles still apply in relationship building with babies and infants! So in this episode, I'll go into how to connect and bond with your infant in three ways: Physical, Emotional, and Engagement.
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jan 11, 2023
The Dangers Of TikTok
As a child therapist, I'm on the front lines of the damage that devices and social media are doing to our kids. The worst of all, in my opinion, is TikTok. There is nothing redeemable about TikTok, especially in light of what it's doing to our teens and young adults.
In this episode, I talk about the following topics related to TikTok:
* The fact that China owns TikTok and what that means
* The dangerous content for kids
* The warnings that are coming out about TikTok
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jan 6, 2023
Handling Behavior With Appropriate Consequences
In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* Three types of consequences: Natural, Related, and Unrelated consequences
* What changes behavior in children
* The goal of discipline
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Dec 27, 2022
Spanking and the Rationalization Trap: How Some Parents Use Flimsy Excuses to Justify Physical Discipline
In this episode of the podcast, we will be exploring the often-controversial topic of spanking, by way of a viral video that I saw this week highlighting the ways in which some parents use excuses to justify their use of physical discipline. We will delve into the ways in which these justifications are often flawed, and how they can be harmful to children. We will also explore alternative methods of discipline that are more effective and less harmful to children. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, or simply interested in the topic, this episode will provide valuable insights into the debate surrounding spanking and the ways in which we can move beyond physical discipline in favor of more positive and effective approaches to parenting.
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Dec 22, 2022
Do You Hear Me? Do You See Me? Do I Matter?
"Every day, in a hundred small ways, our children ask us...Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter? And their behavior often reflects our response." This is a powerful quote by L.R. Knost that perfectly describes play therapy and what I'm trying to communicate on this podcast.
In this episode, I'm discussing the following topics:
* The "Be with" attitudes
* The Behavior Spectrum
* Labels that we put on our children's behavior
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Dec 19, 2022
The Baker Act Epidemic: Know Your Rights As Parents
Baker Acts (involuntary commission to a mental health facility) are on the rise, and there are many things that parents don't know.
In this episode, I discuss the following topics:
* What you should know about the process at the Baker Act facility
* What you should know about psychiatrists prescribing medication
* Ways to advocate for your child as a parent so you don't get taken advantage of
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Dec 7, 2022
The Importance Of Sleep And Getting Outside
I had a personal reminder the other day about how being outside promotes restorative sleep. So I tell that story in this episode, and then I relate it to how much kids are affected by simply getting some outdoor time, and how that helps the deep sleep cycle. All of this, in turn, affects everything about kids... their behavior, mood, emotional well-being, etc.
Topics in this episode:
* Importance of deep, restorative sleep and how to make sure your kids are sleeping well
* Benefits of outdoor activities
* Consistent physical activity
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Nov 29, 2022
100th Episode Special! A Look Behind, And A Look Ahead
We did it! In this 100th episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast, I take a look back (all the way to 2006!), and a look forward and where I'm going with everything. In this episode I talk about the following topics:
* The 4 most important lessons from the first 100 episodes of this podcast
* Where we are going
* Why I do this podcast and what is the purpose
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Nov 18, 2022
Kids And Screens @ Discovery Church In Orlando Florida
This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast. I was invited to speak at a "Parent Huddle" at Discovery Church in Orlando, FL on the topic of kids and screens. I was given permission to record this talk so that I could share this with my podcast family, so I hope you enjoy this special episode!
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Nov 11, 2022
How To Handle Yourself When Your Child Treats You Like Garbage!
It might seem backwards to think that kids treat the people the worst, that love and accept them the most. However, most times this is true of our kids. It shouldn't surprise you that your kids, to various degrees, "keep it together" during the day, and then when they get home to you, they lose it. This is normal and expected behavior, and when you understand the "why" behind it, you'll have a whole new perspective on your kid's behavior. In this episode, I dive into the following topics:
* Unconditional love and acceptance
* "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer"
* Behavior reflection and their internal state
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Nov 2, 2022
4 Qualities You Should Understand About Your Kids... And Yourself!
Acclaimed writer Stephen Covey said "Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." In this episode, I apply this quote to children and parenting.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Oct 11, 2022
A Neurobiological Connection To Play Therapy
Hang on! This is a deep dive into how your child's brain works, and I'll explain why they sometimes act the way that they do. This episode was inspired after I read an article on Brain Harmony and I noticed a diagram representing a pyramidal hierarchy of child development. I noticed that this pyramid closely mapped to a set of "layers" common to play therapy. In this episode, I go over both hierarchies, how prioritization plays a role, and then I explain the 4-step model and how it maps to play therapy.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Oct 6, 2022
What We Do In Moderation, Kids Will Do In Excess. And Vice-Versa.
I heard a quote once that "The good things parents do in excess, kids do in moderation. And the bad things parents do in moderation, kids do in excess." In this episode, I cover:
* Modeled learning nature of children
* Natural nature of children pushing boundaries and limits
* Our frustrations with children are mirrors into our behaviors
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Sep 25, 2022
The Dad Episode! - 4 Tips For Dads Implementing Play Therapy Skills
I recently got an email from Dan. Dan has been listening to the podcast and is in the "Play Therapy Parenting Family". He has been using play therapy skills and knows the "4 Pillars" of play therapy. However, Dan has challenges dealing with his kid's defiance. Dan responds with play therapy skills, but struggles implementing them. Dan asked me if I would do an episode just for Dads! So here are 4 challenges that Dads face, and I discuss and give tips for each of them.
* Dads are wired to be problem solvers
* Dads brains tend to be logical and rational
* Vulnerability and empathy are difficult for Dads
* Dads tend to have a need for control
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Sep 8, 2022
What To Do When Play Therapy Skills Don't Work!
In this episode, I talk through what to do when your children do not respond to play therapy skills. A Mom from Utah emailed me with some frustrations implementing the 4 Pillars and asked for my thoughts. I got permission to share her situation in this episode and we go through each of the points in detail.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Play Therapy Fundamentals
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Aug 29, 2022
Get On Eye Level With Kids
A wonderful validation of what I teach parents happened to me on vacation a few weeks ago. One of the tips in the 10-week parent coaching program that I teach is to get on a kids eye level. So I did that to a kid in line at a McDonalds and you'll never believe what happened! In this episode of the podcast, I explain why being on eye level when interacting with kids is so important, how it removes the "power differential", and I talk about the connection that is formed when you get on eye level.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Rules of Thumb Episodes
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Aug 15, 2022
New Baby Jealousy
In this episode I talk through baby jealousy when a new baby is introduced to the family. These concepts also apply to other situations when a new family member is added, such as step-children, etc. But new babies are the most common situation when baby jealousy upsets the family and children dynamic. Three topics I discuss are: Dethroning, Understanding the age gap, and What to do about baby jealousy.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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Jul 13, 2022
Say Less, Listen More! - Insight On How To Interact With Teens More Effectively
We get it wrong when we interact with teens and pre-teens. At least, that was the main point of an interesting article I read this week. In this episode, I talk about how adolescence changes the dynamics of the family, and how we can make changes to the way we interact with our teens and pre-teens to maintain the relationship and connection we crave with them. My three main points in this podcast are:
* The fear of getting "shut out" is the root of ineffective interactions with teens.
* Stop asking questions.
* We forget and don't give kids credit for their capabilities and what they can handle.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* 4 Pillars of Play Therapy
* Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
* Goodness of Kids
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Jul 8, 2022
The "Parenting Prison" - What It Is, And How To Get Out Of It
Most parents are stuck in a "prison". I've called it the "Parenting Prison". In this episode, I'm going to tell you what the Parenting Prison is, and how to get out of it. I'll also touch on repeating familial cycles of parenting. We often parent the way we were parented (or the opposite)! I'll briefly go over several common parenting styles, and why they are all ineffective. And finally I'll discuss the #1 reason parenting responses are ineffective, and what you can do about it.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Why Reasoning Doesn’t Work with Kids
* Stop trying to reason and rationalize with your child!
* Why Reflecting Feelings Works (even on adults!)
* 4 Pillars of Play Therapy
* The “4 Pillars of Play Therapy” – A training presentation I gave to th…
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Jul 2, 2022
Don't Let Disapproval Be A Lingering Voice In Your Child's Life
I came across a quote from a book that inspired this episode... "Although she hadn't seen her parents for years, it turned out that a parent's disapproval is a powerful lingering voice that shaped and defined one's self-image". So in this episode, I discuss parental disapproval, and what a child does when they experience that. I discuss unconditional love and acceptance, which is a play therapy principle. And finally the power we have as parents in a child's life
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Does Your Child Have At Least One Adult Who Has An Irrational, Emotional Relationship With Them?
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Jun 20, 2022
Don't Give In To Screens!
Over the weekend, I saw a disturbing scene play out while we were at a bowling ally, and it was a perfect example of what I call negative behavior reinforcement using devices. So in this episode, I share that story, then I explain the reasoning behind why negative behavior is reinforced with device use. As a bonus, I go into the addictive nature of screens from a neurobiology perspective. And finally, I share some listener feedback.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Kids Bowl Free - www.kidsbowlfree.com
* Device Detox - www.devicedetoxbook.com
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Jun 10, 2022
The Power Of Celebrations
In this episode, I catch you up on, and celebrate some of the things I've been involved in lately, and then I celebrate an email that I got from a Mom... She wrote me an email and it touched my heart, so I asked her if I could share it. I celebrate all of the emails and feedback that I get from you and I want you to know that I read them all and respond to all of them. So thank you for the feedback you give me and I can't express enough how much I enjoy sharing with you each week. Please email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com with more questions and feedback. And don't forget to celebrate the relationships in your life. We have a lot to be thankful for... you don't have to look very hard to find relationships to celebrate.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
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May 25, 2022
"The Gratification Comes In The Doing, Not In The Results"
"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results" - James Dean
I stumbled on this quote this week and added it to my "quote book", and I realized how this ties into the play therapy concept of encouragement perfectly!
In today's episode I discuss the following topics:
* The difference between praise vs. encouragement
* The use of esteem-building responses
* Focusing on the effort, not the outcome
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Praise vs. Encouragement
* “Encourage The Effort Rather Than Praise The Product”
* The "4 Pillars" of Play Therapy
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May 12, 2022
It's Never Too Late To Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids
In this episode, I help a Mom that emailed me asking for help with her 15 year old son. Based on her email and my clarifying questions that she answered, I summarized many of the issues she's having into 4 areas. First, I discuss my "Parenting Prison" theory, and how we can escape from parenting the way we were parented. Second, I talk about how to get kids "un-stuck". Third, I assure this Mom that it's never too late to work on the relationship. And finally, I talk about how screens are likely affecting the child's behavior. And to help her out, as a thank you for allowing me to share her email on the podcast, I'll be sending her a link to get ALL of my online courses for free to help her build the relationship with her son. If you email me a question to brenna@thekidcounselor.com, and I use your question in the episode, I'll send you the free link to all my online courses as well.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapypar…
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May 1, 2022
Does Your Child Have At Least One Adult Who Has An Irrational, Emotional Relationship With Them?
"To develop normally, a child requires a relationship with at least one adult who has an irrational, emotional relationship with the child" - Urie Bronfenbrenner
In this episode, I discuss how the development of kids is influenced by the relationships that they have, the power of acceptance of children, and the power of relationship with kids and why it's so important.
* Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
* My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
* My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
* Device Detox: https://devicedetoxbook.com
Links from this episode:
* 4 Pillars of Play Therapy episode
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Apr 6, 2022
Teaching Kids Empathy
Empathy is learned. Kids aren't born with it, and they mainly learn it by observing adults displaying empathy. We want our kids to show empathy when it's appropriate. Being kind and compassionate to others is a good character trait. In this episode, I talk about how kids develop empathy, how abstract reasoning plays into empathy development, and I explain a psychology term called "other orientation".
* Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
* My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
* My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode:
* Love for our Elders: https://loveforourelders.org/
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Mar 18, 2022
Overcoming "Mom Guilt" - Spending Time Vs. Being Fully Present
I was listening to a business podcast this week, and a successful Mom/CEO said this quote when asked how she overcomes "Mom Guilt" as she runs a multi-million dollar business, while juggling being a mom. She said "Kids don't count the hours that you're with them, but they do notice if you're present." And the truth of that quote jumped out at me, and made me take notice. I immediately related it to the Play Therapy principles, called the "Be With Attitudes," that I teach in my private parent coaching course. So I wanted to share with you some practical tips, that you can put into practice immediately, that will help you become fully present with your kids during the time you spend with them. You no longer have to feel any guilt as a mom, parent, or caregiver because your child will get intentional, quality, meaningful time with you.
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Mar 12, 2022
Why What A Child Believes Is More Important Than What A Child Knows
Have you ever told your child something about them that you know to be true, but they just don't believe it themselves? They could be smart, athletic, funny, etc. But they may have something emotional happening that makes them believe otherwise. In this episode I share some advice about children that was given to me years ago, but impacts what I believe about kids to this day. Three points I make in this episode are:
* What we tell them might be true, but doesn't make it true for them
* The difference between the cognitive and emotional
* A child's view of "self" has to be developed internally Links from this episode:
* Gabb Wireless, safe phone for kids, Spring Promo. Use promo code "PLAY" https://playtherapyparenting.com/gabb
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Mar 4, 2022
Discipline Is Not About "Controlling" Your Kids!
Do you often find yourself having to "step in" to control your child's behavior? In today's episode, I'm going to try to change your thinking about discipline. The goal of discipline is "self-regulation" on the part of the child. Otherwise, some children "keep pushing" until someone regulates for them. Wouldn't it be better if your child learned to self-regulate, instead of you having to regulate for them? This has dramatic implications into adulthood also. Finally, I talk about patience in parenting. We have to give time for the child to self-control, but we often don't give the child enough time. So I give you some advice on that as well.
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Feb 24, 2022
Why Being "Vague" Is A Conversation Killer With Kids (How To Get More Than One-Word Answers)
When parents realize that kids need a different type of communication, it changes the way you interact with them. I discuss three sub-topics: kids are emotional, they do not have abstract reasoning skills yet, and how concrete "parameters" within conversations are developmentally appropriate, and will pull more than one-word answers out of your kids.
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Feb 8, 2022
"When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child"
This episode continues my parenting "Rules of thumb" series, which comes from the In-Home Play Therapy training that we conduct through The Kid Counselor Center. "When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child" is an important guideline to remember when dealing with parenting moments. We'll talk about how the "quick fix mentality" is not the best way to view solutions to parenting issues. I also discuss the following topics... negative vs positive framing, victim vs victor mentality, and focusing on the issue instead of the relationship.
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Jan 28, 2022
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Have you heard the (true) story of the little girl that went out every morning to get the mail, and the mailman greeted her with "Hello, Miss America!" She ended up winning the Miss America pageant. We don't understand the power that words, phrases, and expressions have on people's lives unless we understand the "magic" of self-fulfilling prophecy. This is especially true of how it affects kids... in the positive AND negative! In this episode, I talk about the internal and external labels that influence self-fulfilling prophecy. Next I cover self-dialogue, and how it influences behavior. Finally, I explore how subtle expressions can influence kids, and we might not realize that it's happening.
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Jan 14, 2022
Research Review: Chaotic households undermine children’s development of executive functioning through less responsive parenting
In this episode, a research study referenced on psypost.org caught my eye and I wanted to share it and talk about how it reflects what I see in the playroom at my practice and my interaction with parents. In the research they make three points. First that executive functioning is compromised. I explain what that means and how it affects kids. Next, how parental responsiveness influences outcomes. Finally, how academic success is affected.
Links from this episode:
* Chaotic households undermine children’s development of executive functioning through less responsive parenting
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Jan 13, 2022
"Don't Try To Change Everything At Once"
In thinking about New Year's changes, or things you want to change in this upcoming year, I want to caution you about changing too much at once! "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" is another episode in my "Rules of Thumb" series from the training I conduct called Child Parent Relationship Therapy. When thinking about change in parenting or families, I often illustrate this concept using the "scales of justice". So I'll share that concept in this episode. I also talk about the "hierarchy" of change. Finally, I'll share some tips to set yourself up for success.
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Jan 4, 2022
You Don't Know What You Don't Know
Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in the acquisition of knowledge. Learning how to parent better is a liberating experience for you and your whole family.
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Dec 10, 2021
Concerning Medical And Behavior Issues Emerging From Social Media Use (Especially In Teens and Girls)
I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifically TikTok videos) are affecting kids from a medical/physical standpoint.
Links from this episode:
* https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/young-women-reporting-concerning-behavioral-changes-from
* https://www.wsj.com/articles/teen-girls-are-developing-tics-doctors-say-tiktok-could-be-a-factor-11634389201
If you're like me and your child is begging you for a phone, but there's no way you are going to let them have an internet-connected phone, I have a compromise between you and your kids! It's called Gabb Wireless. It's essentially a "dumb" phone (that isn't a…
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Dec 6, 2021
Are Schools Pushing Kids Too Far, Too Fast?
Did you have to take a career class... in middle school? Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the "content push". After you listen to this episode, I'd love to hear from you.. if you agree, or disagree. Email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
Links from this episode:
* 3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You’re Thinking)
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Dec 2, 2021
Birth Order - How It Affects Your Child's Personality (w/ Focus On Only Children)
In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-reversals, hybrids, and blends looks like and how that affects a child's personality, and then we will look at the unique subset of only children.
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Nov 18, 2021
3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You're Thinking)
Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode. There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those thinking about homeschool, and those not ever going to homeschool! I just want you, as a concerned and involved parent, to consider these three factors and objectively assess how school is impacting your family.
Links from this episode:
* Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use
* “Digital Pacifiers” – Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids
* Wake Up! Social Media is Ruining our Kids (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.)
* Pediatricians should prescribe PLAY! (not meds)
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Nov 10, 2021
10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids (A Comparison)
Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids".
Links from this episode:
* 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids
* The Four “Pillars” of Play Therapy
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Nov 4, 2021
Three Red Flags That Prove You're More Successful Than You Think (At Parenting)
Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success!
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Oct 20, 2021
Parenting Styles - Why Authoritative Is The Best
Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parenting styles.
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Oct 5, 2021
"I Hate My Life!" - What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things
If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finally, I give you a play therapy based way to respond to this that diffuses the emotions and preserves the relationship with your child.
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Sep 29, 2021
"Parenting Hacks For 2021" - My Observations
If you follow this podcast, you know that I teach fundamentals and foundational parenting skills from a play therapy perspective. I do like to keep my "finger on the pulse" of parenting, and I search what's going on in the parenting world every so often. For a long time I have noticed that the posts that get the most attention (or at least that are at the top of search results for parenting) are "tips" and "secrets" type information. A post from Lifehacker.com made it to the top of the search results titled "16 of Our Best Parenting Hacks of 2021 So Far". After I read this post, I was happy to notice that several of these "hacks" were rooted in play therapy principles and fundamental teaching! It's nice to see that you can "hack" your parenting with play therapy!!
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Sep 22, 2021
A "Revolutionary" Thing: Empathizing And Listening To Your Kids - A Dad's Story
In this episode, I discuss a story about a Dad that does something "revolutionary"... he tried something new to help his son's tantrums and meltdowns.
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Sep 13, 2021
Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use
Are you concerned that your kids spend too much time on devices? Do you wonder if there's a happy medium between no enough and too much? In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss these questions, plus... The America Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines for device usage by age, How to track how much device time your child is actually getting each day, and I give you a practical tool for you use that helps your kids "earn" screen time, and helps you balance how much time they are getting.
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Sep 8, 2021
My "Field of Dreams" Story - If I Build It, Will They Come?
In this episode I talk about my own "Field of Dreams" story. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm a huge baseball fan, and recently, the "Field of Dreams" game was played between the Yankees and White Sox played on the corn field from the movie. It reminded me that I'm in my own "Build it and they will come" moment in my life and business.
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Aug 31, 2021
The "4 Pillars of Play Therapy" - A training presentation I gave to the 300 school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System in the Tampa, FL area.
This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast. I was invited to give a training/presentation to the 300, or so, school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System on Play Therapy techniques. So during this hour training, they were exposed to the philosophies and principles of play therapy, the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy", and then some bonus topics, including the impact excessive device use is having on kids today. Finally, I channel my best "Oprah" and I give everyone special access to my COMPLETE training on the "4 Pillars" (because I can't make everyone an expert in only 1 hour). That FREE access to the "4 Pillars" training is available to you as well. Just go to www.thekidcounselor.com/4pillars and sign up for the free training to experience the complete course on learning the skills in the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy". Enjoy!
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.…
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Aug 19, 2021
"I Wonder" Statements - How To Get Better, More Meaningful Responses From Your Kids
I wonder how often you get frustrated when your child responds with one-word answers. (See what I did there?) Using "I wonder" statements with your children is one of the greatest techniques that play therapists use to interact with kids on their emotional level to bring out meaningful responses. In this episode, I explore the topics of questions vs. statements, "if you know enough to ask a question, then you can make a statement". and finally, the importance of keeping kids in their hearts.
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Jul 16, 2021
"I Love My Kids, But I Don’t Like Parenting"
In this episode, I comment on a blog post I saw on todaysparent.com that I couldn't ignore. "I love my kids, but I don’t like parenting—and I know I’m not alone". So I'll unpack my thoughts on that by first exploring my opinion that many parents may feel like this because they are not properly equipped. Second, I explore how our reality as parents and our expectations as parents might be too divergent, and this is what's causing some parents to experience these feelings.
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Jul 14, 2021
"Encourage The Effort Rather Than Praise The Product"
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference between outcome vs effort, and internal vs. external motivation. Learning to encourage instead of praise is instrumental in raising self-motivated, and self-empowered children that have high self-esteem.
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Ke…
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Jul 1, 2021
"Never Do For a Child That Which They Can Do For Themselves"
You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try! I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness". This is in contrast to your child positively learning that they can do things for themselves, they just need to build their competence and confidence to do so, and you can help them by letting them "struggle" a little bit. So as long as they are at the age where it's appropriate for them to do that task, such as tying their own shoes at 5, or carrying their own baseball bag at 8, then you help them build their confidence and skills to handle their own problems in the future, instead of being in a state of perpetual helplessness. In this episode, I unpack all of these points as we dive into…
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Jun 25, 2021
Adding Structure to your Summer Prevents Behavior Issues
We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults also. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now!
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Jun 14, 2021
"You can’t give away what you do not possess." - How can you extend acceptance to your child if you don't extend it to yourself?
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can’t give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids.
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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Jun 7, 2021
"Digital Pacifiers" - Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids
Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kids. We also need to educate ourselves that psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuro-biologists are hired by these gaming companies, specifically to make devices, games and social media MORE ADDICTIVE. Finally, start being aware that as kids use more devices, diagnoses for anxiety is increasing dramatically. As a result, the prescribing of anxiety medication for kids has increased astronomically. We're also starting to see specialized facilities for "detoxing" off devices springing up nationwide. Device overuse in kids is spiking at an alarming rate, and if we don't start educating ourselves abou…
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Jun 4, 2021
Why Reasoning Doesn't Work with Kids
While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and how a different tactic in responding to a child can completely change the outcome of what would normally be a frustrating situation. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts here!
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May 27, 2021
"What’s most important may not be what you do, but what you do after what you did!"
"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes
that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are modeling for your kids how to handle these situations. And finally, this rule of thumb teaches our kids ownership of their behavior. - The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting start now!
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent…
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May 24, 2021
The Parenting Journey - 50th Episode Celebration!
This is my 50th episode! I'm so grateful to my podcast listeners. In this episode, I'm looking back on my week's observation of the "Parenting Journey". Parenting is full of ups and downs, but we are all united in a goal of being the best parent we can be. We want happy kids and a happy family, and I'm honored that you spend time with me and that I'm a small part of your parenting journey.
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May 22, 2021
"Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole"
One of the most important things we can do for our kids to cherish the relationship that we have with them. In this episode, I talk about a Rule of Thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Training, “Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole.” We look at the importance of putting our attention on the good that exists already, spending the time necessary to build the connection, and why the relationship leads to the results that you want.
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes i…
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May 17, 2021
Natural Consequences of Behavior
In this episode of the podcast, I talk about the natural consequence of child behavior. There are three points that I'd like to share with you regarding natural consequences. The first is that children are not rational. Next is that the natural consequence is different than discipline or punishment. Finally, when a child is given the opportunity to deal with the natural consequence of their behavior, they develop self control, self regulation and self responsibility.
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May 13, 2021
"When a child is drowning, don’t try to teach them to swim"
One of the "Rules of Thumb" that we teach you in the In-Home Play Therapy program is this concept of "When a child is drowning, don’t try to teach them to swim." In this podcast, I discuss why it is so important to remember that children don't have abstract reasoning skill until starting about 12. So "teaching a lesson" in the middle of an emotional moment for your child is absolutely futile... you need to meet them in their emotion to de-escalate the situation.
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis G…
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May 9, 2021
The Four Universal Outcomes of Play Therapy
We all know that therapy is beneficial and that positive change is associated with the process. But what can you count on in terms of areas of growth when a child participates in play therapy? There are four universal outcomes of play therapy, regardless of what the child is dealing with when they begin. In this episode, I unpack each of the four outcomes and help you understand why growth in these areas are so beneficial for kids and their futures.
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May 7, 2021
Play Therapy (spaghetti) vs. Talk Therapy (waffles) : A Comparison
Often people assume that if talk therapy works with adults, it should work with kids, too. But have you ever asked your child a question about how they feel or why they did something and gotten, “I don’t know” or a blank stare with a shrug? In this episode, I talk about how adults compartmentalize their lives into boxes. But children feel everything and their lives are a big tangle of emotions. I also explain how play therapy principles make sense to a child who isn’t rational or logical. You will finally understand why kids need a different approach to dealing with their issues.
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May 5, 2021
Wake Up! Social Media is Ruining our Kids (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.)
Do you know what your kids are doing on social media? Do you REALLY know? I work with a lot of pre-teens and teens every week, with debilitating personal issues. One of the common threads I see is social media use. If you really care about your kids, it's time to stop being passive, and start taking a more active role in supervising what your kids are doing on their devices.
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May 3, 2021
Cutting: What You Need to Know as a Parent
Cutting: What You Need to Know as a Parent. Why kids are doing it. How they are finding out about it. How they are hiding it. How they are sharing it. What you can do about it.
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May 1, 2021
Anxiety: The Untold Epidemic of 2021 Kids
You probably haven't heard many people talking about how badly our kids are absorbing the "adult response to the coronavirus". No one is really addressing it. The phones at my office are ringing off the hook with desperate parents trying to get help for their anxious kids. In this podcast, I talk about the problem, share three examples of what anxiety does to kids, and how you can effectively respond to your child, if you see the signs.
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Mar 31, 2021
One Way Kids Bridge the Gap Between Their Actual Self and Their Ideal Self
Often one of the underlying causes of emotional and behavioral struggles is that who the child wants to be (their "ideal self") is very different from who they are (their "actual self"). In this podcast exclusive, I share what happens in the playroom when a child is ready to bridge the gap between their actual and ideal self.
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Mar 30, 2021
How Angry Emotions Mask Deeper Feelings
Parents are often concerned when children express angry or aggressive behavior. In this podcast exclusive I discuss how parents can recognize the deeper emotions driving the angry, aggressive behavior. Once you understand why kids default to anger, you will be able to respond in a way that helps them express their vulnerability and develop an emotional vocabulary.
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Feb 8, 2021
Lessons on Consistency and Hard Work Paying Off (Applied to Parenting)
Have you ever wondered if all the work you put into learning how to be a good parent is paying off? Have you noticed that the more consistent you are with applying your parenting skills, that you surprise yourself by how well you handle behavior situations with your kids? In this episode, I tell the story about how I noticed a parallel between something I have been personally training for, and how consistency and hard work pays off in your parenting.
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Jan 13, 2021
2 Main Parenting Goals You Should Be Working On In 2021
Are you setting goals or resolutions for the new year? If so, is one to create a better relationship with your kids? Or to parent in a kinder way? In this episode, I share two main goals for 2021 that can start you off on the right foot in how you interact with your kids. If you just want to put 2020 behind you because of guilt over the way you handled parenting moments, then stick with me this year and I'll teach you how to build a better relationship and interact more kindly with your kids.
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Nov 12, 2020
Do Your Kids Feel Loved By You? (How to Make Certain)
Are you loving your kids in the way that they feel love? You might be completely wasting your efforts in showing love to your kids, unless you are speaking their "language!" In this episode, I introduce you to the 5 Love Languages of Kids, so that you can know for sure that your kids feel loved by you.
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Nov 6, 2020
The Antidote to Guilt, Shame, and Blame as a Parent
We know that kids don’t come with an instruction manual and parenting doesn’t have a road map. That often leaves us confused, defeated, frustrated, and ashamed of our failures. It doesn’t have to be that way! This episode highlights a question that I ask myself almost on a daily basis, and gives the key that opens the door to freedom from guilt, shame, and blame.
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Nov 1, 2020
How to Talk to Your Kid's Teacher About Behavior Problems
Is your child's behavior at school creating stress and anxiety in your family? Do you fear daily reports from the teacher? Are you unsure how to handle what's going on when you talk to the teacher or staff? I've helped many families navigate this issue in my private practice. When there are struggles at school, you have to address them directly. Use these simple tips to prepare you so that you feel confident talking to your kid's teacher.
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Oct 15, 2020
2 Tips for Parents Dealing with Their Child's Anxiety
Have you ever felt helpless to handle your children’s anxiety and worries? Have you tried things that didn’t seem to help? Do you want nothing more than to see your kids happy and worry free? With the sharp increase in child anxiety levels this year, it’s important to have effective tools to help manage this struggle. In this second part of this two-part series, you get practical skills to reduce your frustration and their anxiety.
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Oct 9, 2020
What are the Warning Signs of Anxiety in Children?
Do you wonder if some of your children’s behaviors are related to anxiety? Have you seen an increase in big emotions, worry, fear, or confusion? Is one of the unforeseen fallouts of 2020 that our kids are experiencing increased anxiety? If the phone calls to my office are an indicator, this is the new childhood epidemic of this year. This is the first of a two-part series on recognizing anxiety in children, and how best to help your child through their worries.
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Sep 28, 2020
Is Your Child a “Two Marshmallow Kid?”
Have you ever felt that your kids are too impulsive? Do they get out of control when they are overly excited? Are they quick to melt down when they don’t get their way? Does their behavior seem reckless sometimes? A good predictor of adult success is how well a child can control their impulses. In this episode I share some tips with you to help your kids learn self-control.
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Sep 10, 2020
Why your child should say "I'm angry”
You probably hate it when your child loses it when they get upset! But do you know what's going on in their brain when they have that reaction? In this episode, I explain the results from a study that reveals when a child says, "I'm angry," it decreases the emotional over-reaction. This is how kids can learn self control.
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Sep 1, 2020
What You Need to Know about Your Kids' Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviors (spoiler - they're all connected!)
Kids say things that often lead us to the wrong conclusions about what is going on. A Yale study reveals how much our feelings influence what we think and do, especially children! This episode dives into the trick that helps us get to the heart of the emotion that our kids feel, rather than focusing on what they say.
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Aug 3, 2020
Stop trying to reason and rationalize with your child!
Have you ever tried to explain to your child why something they did wasn't a good idea? We've all done it. But here's the problem... kids aren't rational until about 12 or 13, so you're wasting your time explaining things rationally to them. Kids are emotional and here-and-now. So to effectively communicate with them, you have to speak to their feelings and emotions. In this episode, Dr. Brenna tells you how that works.
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Jul 17, 2020
Understanding your kid’s big emotions (anger, crying, etc.)
One of the key practices in Play Therapy is figuring out the emotion behind the behavior. When you know what emotion is causing a child to act a certain way, you can then reflect that feeling back to them and often diffuse any behavior issues. In this episode, I discuss how many of the "big" emotions that children have are rooted in a sense of powerlessness. I discuss the science behind it, and how you can respond appropriately to reduce behavior issues.
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Jun 2, 2020
Say it in 10 words or less!
Kids under 13 do not have rational thought, yet parents try to rationalize with their kids during discipline. This is completely futile! Kids are emotional, so it’s more effective to meet them in their emotion, reflect their feeling, and if you impart some instruction, say it in 10 words or less! Anything beyond 10 words gets lost. In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna explains this “rule of thumb” that comes straight out of her 10-week private parent coaching called Child Parent Relationship Training (CPRT). For more information on CPRT visit www.thekidcounselor.com/cprt
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Apr 24, 2020
Pediatricians should prescribe PLAY! (not meds)
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses how the American Academy of Pediatrics published their “best of” 2019 journal articles, and one of the studies explores prescribing PLAY to combat all the stress, busyness, and anxiety that kids are experiencing these days. This is something Play Therapists have known for over 100 years! It’s nice to see the medical/pediatrics community acknowledging the benefits of play for kids.
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Apr 22, 2020
"Be a thermostat, not a thermometer"
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna shares a parenting tip from her private parent coaching class (Child Parent Relationship Therapy [CPRT]) "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer” is a metaphor that teaches you how to RESPOND to your kids, instead of just REACTING to their emotional fluctuations.
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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