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The Ace Couple
The Ace Couple
Asexual married couple Courtney and Royce talk about all things Asexuality. By discussing queer culture and history, we'll explore the topics of life, love, and sex through an Ace lens.
4 days ago
Being a Jamaican Ace in Catholic School, A "Right to Sex", & Other Allonormative Nonsense ft. Fara
Fara grew up as an Episcopalian child of Jamaican immigrants who identifies as Asexual and is starting to explore Aromanticism. We talk about her experience, learning about theology of the body in Catholic school, the "right to sex" debacle, and SO much more!
1 hr 44 min
Jan 25, 2023
Asexual Representation- The Most Banned Book, Gender Queer: A Memoir
The most challenged book in the U.S. was written by Ace, Gender Queer author Maia Kobabe. Eir book is a vulnerable coming of age graphic novel that has found itself the main character in the latest conservative culture war.
1 hr 16 min
Jan 18, 2023
Ace Notes: Tips and Tricks on Existing in an Allo World ft. Michele Kirichanskaya
Remember "The Article" that sparked so much harassment that Courtney almost quit the Ace community? Well, today we talk to the writer of said article Michele Kirichanskaya. We discuss their forthcoming book, Ace Notes, their experience as a Jewish Ace, and SO much more!
1 hr 35 min
Jan 11, 2023
Asexual Representation: Abbi Singh from The Imperfects
Yet another sad casualty in Netflix's tirade of single-season cancellations, The Imperfects gives us rare and much needed representation in the character of Abbi Singh. She is an Ace, Lesbian, WOC in STEM and not enough people know about her!
Jan 4, 2023
Taking an Online Autism Assessment
TikTok told us that we're Autistic. To be fair, we already had that theory ourselves...So just for fun let's take the IDR Labs Autism Spectrum Test live on microphone!
1 hr 19 min
Dec 28, 2022
Relationship Commitment and Division of Labor
Recently Michelle Obama confessed that she spent 10 years hating Barack. We don't understand "marital hatred", but it got us talking about commitment, the division of labor in relationships, and societal expectations that place a disproportional burden on women.
Dec 21, 2022
r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition #2
Lots of you asked us for more Asexual AITA, so here we are once again! Today we read and share our perspectives on 8 different Reddit stories that all pertain to asexuality.
Dec 14, 2022
Decoupling Sin from Sex, Dating Sims, Discourse, & Being a Chinese Ace ft. Satan
The other half of Aces Playing at Attraction, Satan, shares their experience as a Chinese, femme-presenting Ace. We discuss everything from decoupling sex & sin, dating sims, genderqueerness, birth control, asexual discourse, and so much more!
2 hr 18 min
Dec 7, 2022
Wednesday's Queerbaiting, AroAce Erasure, & Failed Conversion Therapy Allegory
Everybody is shipping #Wenclair. Netflix and the show's cast are leaning into the queer community with interviews and "Wednesgay" drag events without actually showing us meaningful gay rep on screen. Meanwhile, Wednesday could and should be an AroAce icon.
Nov 30, 2022
Asexuality & Kink ft. Evie Lupine
Today we're joined by Evie Lupine for a jam-packed episode where we discuss the intersections of kink and asexuality, her personal journey as a kinky Ace, asexual discrimination, the kink community being more welcoming to Aces than some Pride organizations and SO much more!
Nov 23, 2022
Bigoted Article: Demisexuals Are Scared Of Sex
A bigoted op-ed was recently published on UnHerd entitled "Demisexuals are scared of sex: Desire has been purged from the modern dating scene". It's steeped in compulsory sexuality, rape culture, and ignorance as well as outright lies about demisexuality.
1 hr 21 min
Nov 16, 2022
Aces DO NOT Invade Denmark!
The history of the “Aces Invade Denmark” meme...and why it's long past time to put it to rest.
Nov 9, 2022
We LOVE Koisenu Futari!
Part two continued from last week of the Aromantic, Asexual representation in Koisenu Futari! A perfect ending to an unbelievably beautiful series.
1 hr 1 min
Nov 2, 2022
Koisenu Futari: Is this the Perfect AroAce Rep!?
We did it. We found the PERFECT AroAce rep! If you're looking for fully grown, live-action adult, queer-platonic found family goodness with a couple who experience no romantic or sexual feelings, then look no further than J-drama Koisenu Futari.
1 hr 27 min
Oct 26, 2022
Ace Week “Boundless Creativity” Ft. Miktastic
Happy Ace Week & Disabled Ace Day! Today Mik shares zir experience as a Black, Disabled, “AAA Battery” with many of creative endeavors. We talk experiences of being asexual in the military, quoiromanticism, polyamory, becoming team lead of an all aspec stream team and so much more!
1 hr 36 min
Oct 19, 2022
What is Normal Marital Hatred? (Seriously, we don't know!)
The Washington Post claims that marital hatred is normal and that everyone who's been in a long-term relationship can relate. But IS it normal? Has EVERYONE experienced this? We've quarantined together for 2 1/2 years and haven't experienced it, so we remain skeptical...
1 hr 10 min
Oct 12, 2022
Aromantic, Asexual Representation? The Owl House
We watched The Owl House because the internet told us there was great AroAce rep. But there...wasn't? The show was cute and undeniably queer. But we should praise it for what's actually shown as opposed to what was “confirmed” off screen.
1 hr 12 min
Oct 5, 2022
Asexuality, Christianity, High School, & Trauma ft. Sharky
Once upon a time, a cartoon shark had a conversation with Satan (no, not THAT one...the other one) and realized he was asexual. But what does it mean to be a Christian Asexual?
3 hr 2 min
Sep 28, 2022
Our (Horrible) First Drag Shows
We both had very awkward first Drag show experiences for very different reasons...but embarrassing events make for great stories! Plus, a somewhat related bonus story of Courtney's very weird attempt to purchase a massage.
Sep 21, 2022
One Year Anniversary of The Ace Couple Podcast
It is our one year podcast anniversary! A lot has happened in a single year, so let's take a trip down memory lane.
Sep 14, 2022
Gray-Asexuality & Diverse Video Game Representation ft. Lucy Blundell
Lucy Bludell AKA Games by Kinmoku is the disabled, gray-ace indie game dev who brought us the wonderful visual novel One Night Stand. In this episode, we talk about their personal journey, why an ace would make a game about a one night stand, queer representation in gaming, and her forthcoming game VIDEOVERSE!
1 hr 28 min
Sep 7, 2022
Demisexual Representation: Never Been Kissed
Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky has one of the best metaphors for oriented (gay, demi) asexuality that we've ever read. As a New Adult novel, it takes the conversations of sexual orientation a little further than YA books we've read with a demisexual character- which we appreciate very much!
1 hr 3 min
Aug 31, 2022
r/AreTheStraightsOK “Cheating on my partner is self-care!”
On Reddit there is no shortage of straight people who think that marriage is a trap, they hate their partners, and they cheat on each other for “self-care”. We have no choice but to ask... ARE the straights OK!?
Aug 24, 2022
Christian Republicans HATE Asexuals
Christofascists HATE asexuals, and this isn't new. For years, they've been saying that platonic marriage goes against God and should be illegal. And ironically, because of Obergefell v. Hodges (the landmark Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage)...it might be.
1 hr 54 min
Aug 17, 2022
God Gave Us Sex...So You BETTER Do It Right!
Conservative Christians think marriage should be “conjugal” NOT “consent-based”. Religious lobbyists say marriage was the first institution created by God before man created government and is, therefore, based in religion and procreative sex, not love and autonomy.
1 hr 5 min
Aug 10, 2022
Religious Right Says Sex is Integral to Marriage, More Important than Autonomy
The religious organizations opposing platonic marriage believe that sex is the #1 most important component to marriage. In their own words, procreative sex is more important than personal bodily autonomy. This is compulsory sexuality, amatonormativity, and rape culture.
1 hr 41 min
Aug 3, 2022
Asexual Marriage is Under Attack
83 religious, right-wing organizations signed a letter to Mitch McConnell condemning the Respect for Marriage act and citing “platonic marriage” as a “startling expansion of what marriage means”. Today, we break down the letter. Next week, we examine these organizations closer.
1 hr 31 min
Jul 27, 2022
We Lost a Friend to Acephobia (& Other Microaggressions)
We lost a friend due to acephobia and other microaggressions that started to arise and spiraled out of control during a D&D campaign.
1 hr 44 min
Jul 20, 2022
Answering Your NGL Questions
Time for an anonymous Q&A! We asked for questions via the NGL app and you delivered! We do our best to answer them all, but a few of them are complicated enough that they could be an entire episode on their own!
1 hr 20 min
Jul 13, 2022
Bigoted Article: Playing the Ace Card
The Spectator published an Anti-Ace, Anti-Trans article. We share what they said and why it's important to learn what their strategy and talking points are. We need to know how to fight back, because they're playing the long-game while we're stuck in damage control.
Jul 6, 2022
The Seven-Year Itch: The Concept & The Movie
We recently celebrated our 8 year anniversary which means we successfully staved off the alleged “seven-year itch”, but what is even is that? Is it real? Is it just an allosexual thing? Did the movies make it up? Let's talk about it!
1 hr 3 min
Jun 29, 2022
Asexual Representation: Parvati Holcomb in The Outer Worlds
Parvati Holcomb is our favorite character in the The Outer Worlds. She is Asexual and as her captain/confidant, you can play as an AroAce. This is groundbreaking rep for Aces in video games (and we don't just say that because her potential girlfriend works at “The Groundbreaker”)
Jun 22, 2022
What the “Kink at Pride” Discourse Gets Wrong
We are by NO means anti-kink-at-pride, however, there are some staple lines in The Discourse that we see over and over that run counter to our experience. So, here's our asexual perspective along with some added nuance to properly complicate the conversation. We know this is a hot-button issue and we really, truly come in peace. Please do not assume what our stance is without listening to the whole episode, as we cover A LOT of ground.
1 hr 29 min
Jun 15, 2022
Asexual Representation? Welp...Guess We Gotta Talk About Euphoria...
Euphoria is a lot. We can't claim to be fans of the show, but season 2 questioned whether or not the main character, Rue, could be asexual. However, the way it was handled caused a lot of online harassment aimed at the Ace community.
1 hr 17 min
Jun 8, 2022
Jaiden Animations is AroAce: The Internet's Reaction and What it Means to the Community
Popular Animator and YouTuber Jaiden Animations announced that she is AroAce! Rarely do we get real-world representation from someone with this big of a platform, so we talk about her video, the internet's reaction, and what this means to the community.
1 hr 23 min
Jun 1, 2022
Growing up in the Bible Belt & Black Asexuality ft. Tyger Songbird
Happy Pride Month! We're kicking it off with an extra special episode featuring the fantastic Tyger Songbird! We talk about Tyger's experience growing up in the Bible Belt, Black Asexuality, the necessity of diverse representation, and SO much more!
1 hr 28 min
May 25, 2022
Being Asexual with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
May is EDS & HSD Awareness Month! We often speak about the intersection of asexuality and disability, but Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome happens to be one of Courtney's many maladies and her experience actually runs counter to the “disabled people are desexualized” narrative.
1 hr 8 min
May 18, 2022
Our Eight Year Anniversary Special- Reminiscing on our 1st Year of Marriage
May 23rd is our 8 year anniversary! Please join us on a trip down memory lane as, for the first time, we reread the “365 I love you's” that Courtney wrote and gave to Royce on our 1st anniversary. Reminiscing both sweet and silly ensues.
1 hr 12 min
May 11, 2022
Umm...Did Shawnee, Kansas Ban Roommates!?
Did Shawnee ban roommates? Are unmarried couples, QPRs, & queer family structures under attack? Shawnee is the first city we ever lived in together, so we give a local perspective on the matter, including a history of racial and economic discrimination present here.
1 hr 34 min
May 4, 2022
Heartstopper, Alice Oseman, and AroAce Vibes
Heartstopper is making waves in young, queer love. We aren't quite the target demographic for this story, but there is still much to applaud and potential for AroAce rep in future seasons. The writer, Alice Oseman is AroAce which is enough for us to lend our support.
1 hr 7 min
Apr 27, 2022
r/AmITheAsshole? Asexuality Edition
Today we're comin' atcha with 5 stories from r/AmITheAsshole that all somehow revolve around the topic of asexuality. We have Ace people, Straight people, Gay people, and “Allies” who have submitted themselves for our judgment via reddit.
1 hr 8 min
Apr 20, 2022
What the heck is Radical Monogamy? Is it a thing? SHOULD it be a thing? Citing a variety of articles, we discuss our personal thoughts, the polyamory discourse surrounding ace-allo relationships, and we reimagine polyamory as D&D spell slots. (Plus that one time Courtney was almost on Viceland)
Apr 13, 2022
Asexual Representation: The Dreaded House Episode
A decade ago, Courtney, along with over 8 million other Americans tuned in to watch an episode of House entitled “Better Half”. In the closet and considering how to come out, she was delighted to see an asexual couple make an appearance...until it all went wrong.
1 hr 10 min
Apr 6, 2022
New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism
Happy International Asexuality Day! In honor of IAD, we're launching a new community project: A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism. Here's why this project is important and how to participate. Plus, tune in for a book giveaway!
Mar 30, 2022
Asexual (and Autistic!) Representation: Everything's Gonna Be Okay
Everything's Gonna Be Okay came on our radar in the same way Sex Education did: A singular scene that the Ace community kept sharing. Unlike Sex Education, however, this show became a fast favorite of ours for it's nuanced take on both asexual and autistic representation.
1 hr 19 min
Mar 23, 2022
Meet Our Pets!
Let us introduce you to The Ace Couple Pets! Our family consists of a grumpy old-man dog, a somehow even grumpier opossum, two large snakes, and an entire mouse circus.
1 hr 6 min
Mar 16, 2022
Let's Play Fog of Love, A Rom-Com Board Game: We Give it a Year
Fog of Love is often described as “Romantic Comedy as a Board Game”, so what happens when a married Ace couple gives it a play? In this episode, we roleplay a fraught year in the relationship of Priscilla, the advertising manager and Bertrand, the career criminal. Silliness ensues.
Mar 9, 2022
Asexual Representation: Todd Chavez, Our Ace Hero
Part 2 continuing from last week's episode! Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman is currently our favorite example of asexual representation in the media. We finish our discussion of Todd by reviewing seasons 4-6 including his relationships with Emily, Yolanda, and Maude.
1 hr 52 min
Mar 2, 2022
Asexual Representation: Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman
Bojack Horseman. We went from hating it, to loving it, to enshrining it is as one of our all-time favorite pieces of media. In 2016, we watched in delight as season 3 teased an asexual plotline for audience-favorite Todd Chavez. And friends, it only got better from there!
1 hr 3 min
Feb 23, 2022
An Introduction to Aromanticism
It's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! To celebrate, here's our introduction to Aromanticism. We discuss why this week is important, why Courtney might be a little bit Demi/Gray-Romantic (including an utterly embarrassing Elementary School story), and the concept of amatonormativity. Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is celebrated the last full week after Valentine's Day. For 2022, that's February 20th-26th.
Feb 16, 2022
Our Common Law Marriage
We decided to take the unconventional route and get married by Common Law nearly 8 years ago. There are many misconceptions about what common law marriage is and is not, so we're going to talk about how and why we did it and how we told our families.
Feb 9, 2022
Asexual Representation: Lets Talk About Love
Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann is a YA novel featuring a Black, Bi “Gray” Asexual woman as the main character. It is a MUCH needed breath of fresh air in a sea of white Ace Rep. Here's our (spoiler!) discussion about it! I also forgot we live in a modern world where I can look up how to pronounce an author's name via The Internet prior to recording, so....I pronounced it wrong and I am ever so sorry :( Her last name should have been pronounced Kann with an open wide and go “ah” sound, not Kann as in a “Can” of soda.
1 hr 28 min
Feb 2, 2022
Does the Asexual Community have an Ageism Issue?
Although asexuality is not a new sexual orientation, the community, which is primarily assembled online, still feels very new at times. Not only new, but very YOUNG. Today we discuss the ageism present both in and out of the Ace community.
1 hr 9 min
Jan 26, 2022
Asexual Representation: Graphic Novel A-Okay
A-Okay by Jarad Greene is a beautiful, semi-autobiographical graphic novel which centers asexuality right alongside other widely relatable coming of age issues such as acne and growing apart from friends. Here's Courtney's recap and review (spoilers, obviously)!
Jan 19, 2022
New “Hardballing” Gen Z Dating Trend
The latest dating trend to come out of Gen Z is called Hardballing AKA “Dating like a CEO”. Some love it while others hate it, so we're here today to discuss our asexual perspective on the matter.
Jan 12, 2022
Web Accessibility, Personal vs Corporate Responsibility, & Avoiding Anti-Black Activism
Web accessibility is imperative in our modern society. However, in trying to make a more inclusive internet, we can fall into the trap of creating new issues for other marginalized communities if we place the burden primarily on individuals instead of the tech corporations who can-and should- be doing so much more.
1 hr 8 min
Jan 5, 2022
Reacting to “Marriage Requires Amnesia” New York Times
Last week, The New York Times published an article entitled “Marriage Requires Amnesia: Do I hate my husband? Oh for sure, yes, definitely.” and it's...a lot.
Dec 29, 2021
Asexual Representation: Interview With the Vampire
Interview with the Vampire is famously homoerotic, at least according to Allos. But Baby Ace Courtney saw components of her own experience in The Vampire Chronicles, so we're here to make the argument that Anne Rice's Vampires are, in fact, Asexual.
1 hr 10 min
Dec 22, 2021
We Played One Night Stand The Video Game
Believe it or not, but as an Asexual, monogamous, married couple, we do not have a lot of experience with One Night Stands. Well, thanks to independent game developer, Kinmoku, we can play a video game simulation of the awkward “morning after”. Kinmoku herself is a Grey Ace, and we think she made a beautiful Visual Novel!
Dec 15, 2021
Have You Come Out To Family? The Asexual Community Responds
What percentage of Asexual folks have actually come out to their family? Most large-scale surveys on coming out focus only on the LGBT experiences and neglect the rest of the acronym, so we turned to Twitter to ask our followers. The poll results and comments elaborating reflect important components of the Ace experience.
Dec 8, 2021
Coming Out as Asexual to Family
No two coming out stories are exactly the same. In this episode, Royce shares their reasons for not having a coming out conversation with family and Courtney shares a story of getting her Grandma a little tipsy before coming out as asexual.
1 hr 1 min
Dec 1, 2021
An Asexual Couple's Guide to Giving Gifts
The Holidays are upon us and many are starting to stress about what gift to give their partners. But never fear! The Ace Couple is here to talk about the way they handle gift giving, because it just so happens that Royce is the best gift giver that Courtney has ever known.
Nov 24, 2021
I Almost Became An Asexual Lingerie Model
I am asexual and when I was 18, I almost became a lingerie model. Until now, I've never shared this story or these photos publicly, but recently there was a ton of backlash when prominent ace activist and model Yasmin Benoit joined Playful Promises to create an Ace Week campaign, so I'm here to add another voice to the “Aces in Lingerie” conversation.
1 hr 15 min
Nov 17, 2021
Mehgender with None Pronouns
Hooray! Royce Episode! Today, we talk about gender identity and personal pronouns from the perspective of someone who is Agender, doesn't wish to use pronouns, and generally feels rather “meh” about the whole gender thing.
Nov 10, 2021
Asexual Representation: Is Dexter Morgan an Ace Icon!?
Dexter: New Blood is the reboot that nobody asked for, but since it’s here anyway, now is the perfect opportunity to look all the way back to season 1 of the original series and ask...is Dexter Morgan secretly an Asexual Icon!?
Nov 3, 2021
Ace Week 2021 Recap: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
In many ways, we believe that this year was the most successful Ace Week to date! There were many wonderful successes such as Disabled Ace Day and PanACEa, but no queer event online goes without it’s challenges. Today, we discuss some of the notable events to come out of Ace Week 2021 including the good, the bad, the weird, and the downright hateful...i.e. the Girlguiding Twitter fiasco. For those who want to opt out of the hate comments, we start talking about Girlguiding at 41:02.
1 hr 25 min
Oct 27, 2021
The Complicated Intersections of Disability and Asexuality
Living at the intersections of Disability and Asexuality is complicated and we need to have this conversation. Ableism is rampant in the Ace community, while acephobia is equally abundant in the Disabled community. That is why Courtney is founding Disabled Ace Day on Wednesdays during Ace Week. In this episode, Courtney (a disabled woman) and Royce (her spouse and accessibility expert) discuss the deeply discriminatory histories that have put these two communities at odds with one another as well as some of their personal experiences with discrimination and volunteering that highlight why a day like this is so important.
1 hr 6 min
Oct 20, 2021
Ableism and Acephobia in LGBTQIA+ spaces
On this week’s episode, Courtney shares some of her personal experiences with disability discrimination in queer spaces. Ableism is rampant in LGBTQIA+ communities and that is one of the core reasons why we are founding the first ever Disabled Ace Day on Wednesday, October 27th, 2021 during Ace Week. Next time on The Ace Couple, we will discuss the complicated intersections of disability and asexuality including broader, systemic issues pertaining to ableism and aphobia.
1 hr 6 min
Oct 13, 2021
Our Asexual Love Story
The world needs more asexual love stories, because the first asexual love story we ever saw was our own. From a disastrous first date to a life-threatening car crash, learn how our chance encounter online ended up fulfilling a mysterious fortune and lead to our happily ever after.
Oct 6, 2021
Asexual Representation: Sex Education Was Bad, Actually
Season 2 of Netflix's Sex Education introduces the character Florence and teaches about asexuality in a heartfelt scene that resonated with many in the ace community, but is this actually good asexual media representation? We argue, no.
Sep 29, 2021
ContraPoints Tweeted and Made Us Start a Podcast...
Natalie Wynn AKA ContraPoints recently tweeted about Asexuality in a seemingly less than favorable light. On this inaugural episode of The Ace Couple Podcast, we're going to dig into it to explore what she did right, what she did wrong, the asexual community's reaction, and our thoughts on the matter.