Apr 19, 2023
85. A Lot Less Fear | Lino Martinez
Note - this episode does mention suicide (though with the most wonderful outcome!). Listener discretion is advised, and please ensure you are well-supported on your grief journey.
First off he shouldn't even be here.
He has a rare genetic disease that wasn't diagnosed for years and years. Seriously, he was 36 before he found out he had Muckle Wells Syndrome! He's had over 40 operations between the ages of 28 and 40. He's had multiple body parts removed. He lost the ability to speak for 2 years - and this is just the tip of the iceberg of what he has endured medically. Having always felt he was a boy and unsure how long he would live he also made the decision to transition.A huge decision when you come from a LA Latino background.
In between all of this Dr Lino Martinez got his doctorate in Clinical Psychology and recently became an author with his book A Little Less Fear, which he hopes will encourage others to live with his motto of living with less fear in their lives. If that isn't enough, this human dynamo is also a playwright, screenwriter, ASL Mentor, and LGBQT+ Life Coach AND... puts out 3 episodes a week on his podcast a Little Less Fear - where he talks outside the box - no subject is taboo. So buckle up as we are talking many different forms of loss today and the grief that ensues.
In this episode, some of what Lino shares:
[00:03:58] I was barely five pounds. I was in the hospital for a little over a month and my mom wasn't able to bring me home
[00:05:28] Because we're here, we're talking about grief and I do wanna explore and let you know that there's beautiful lessons that I've learned along. But before it became beautiful, it was very traumatic for me
[00:10:03] You know why it was not a concern for me at the time because when I decided to transition, I was already, I was dying from this genetic disease. I, by that time, I had already undergone about 30 surgeries at the time, in, in, in just between 28 and 34
[00:14:48] At 19 years old, I had a quarter of my cervix removed because they found stage three cancer cells caused by the hpv
[00:21:42] So I spent six days in this hospital, but this is what changed my life, Helen
[00:26:26] So there're just a lot of things and, and that was one of the biggest epiphany was at the time was don't have fear about who you are and because now you're gonna be a freaking doctor. Like, speak up for yourself. It's okay
[00:34:09] You've suffered way too much. And he said, so this is what's gonna happen. We're gonna take your entire bladder out. We're gonna take your urethra out. It's no good anymore. It's been strictured.
[00:37:19] ... so I, I lost my voice four years ago, maybe close to five years ago, and I lost it for two and a half years. And that was the disease progressing
[00:38:30] I feel that my higher self said, you know, this is the only way you're gonna sit your ass down and be quiet and really tune in by losing your voice and your hearing
[00:39:58] And, and I, and I heard trust, I heard the words trust. And when I say hear, I didn't hear from my, my, my audible ear. I heard it as a thought. And the thought was trust.
[00:41:00] And I just kept going, but it was very painful my first year, and now I'm in my second year and I. Happily say that I'm finally thriving
[00:41:57]One of the biggest advices I can give is that failure is not fatal.
[00:42:59] At the other side of grief, of losing who I, or, or, or lose losing who I guess I, I was gonna say my healthy self, but I was not healthy from the time I was born, but, but losing my ability to appear, losing my voice...
[00:49:57] I, I'm just so, I, I just feel so much gratitude to, to life in general. People I meet, I mean, life is so beautiful
"A lot of your suffering that you go through can be to help someone else and to relate with someone else and help someone else. So don't underestimate some of the suffering that you've gone through." ~ Dr Lino Martinez
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And thanks, Gabe Dovaston for the great music! www.themusicacademypapamoa.com
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