How To Resolve Family Conflicts - Katherine Wintery-Sellery [260]
Play • 1 hr 3 min

How does the way we parent our children relate to the criminal justice system? According to my podcast guest, Katherine Wintery-Sellery, a lot. In this episode, we talk about family conflict and the essential mindset changes we need to move to a more cooperative, compassionate model.

If you enjoyed this episode, and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag me @mindfulmamamentor.

Have you left a review yet? All you have to do is go to  Apple Podcasts or  Stitcher (or wherever you listen), and thanks for your support of the show!

Takeaways:

  1. We can’t change others but we can create the conditions for change to happen.
  2. When we find ourselves needing to prove it is proof of doubt.
  3. We often have compassionate goals, but use unskillful authoritarian means.

Katherine Winter Sellery, 3x TEDx speaker, founder of the Conscious Parenting Revolution, has mentored and trained 1000s of parents around the world in A Guidance Approach to Parenting. She is also the host of The 90 Day Parenting Reset. For more details see KatherineSellery.com or Consciousparentingrevolution.com

Get Hunter's book, Raising Good Humans now! Click here to order and get book bonuses!

ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindful mama mentor. She coaches smart, thoughtful parents on how to create calm and cooperation in their daily lives. Hunter has over 20 years of experience in mindfulness practices. She has taught thousands worldwide. Be a part of the tribe—we’re over 25 thousand strong! 

Download the audio training, Mindfulness For Moms (The Superpower You Need) for free! It's at mindfulmomguide.com. Find more podcasts, blog posts, free resources, and how to work with Hunter at MindfulMamaMentor.com.

Be sure to check out these deals from this week’s sponsors:

  • Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code HUNTER at kiwico.com.
  • Get 20% off your first purchase of ANY Munk Pack product by visiting MunkPack.com and entering our code HUNTER at checkout.

 

The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Shannon Ables
301: The Courage to Live Fully & Deeply: 7 Ideas to Put into Practice for a Life of True Contentment
"People can change and be happy from this moment onward . . . the problem is not one of ability, but of courage." —from the book The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga "As long as one keeps searching, the answers come." American folk singer Joan Baez certainly narrows down succinctly and accurately the practice of finding our way; however, along the way toward the revelation of the answers, we must be courageous enough to feel uncomfortable for portions of the journey as well as capable of homing in on the gems of wisdom and letting go of needing to be agile when trying something new in our lives. The answers come to those who accept moments of clumsiness, frequent stumbles, nights and days of ambiquity and confusion because embracing anything new, trying anything new which speaks to what we are seeking and trying to understanding will require a beginner's mind. Learning to walk required of each of us even though we don't remember (but I truly think it would help if we could) numerous stumbles, falls forward and backward, sometimes temporarily causing pain to our face, knees and bottoms. But we don't remember this because we needed to learn how to walk to participate fully in the life we had no clue awaited us. Keep such an analogy in mind as you choose to continue to search for your answers. I too have to remind myself of the toddler parallel, and as I grow older and hopefully not only in age, but in wisdom, I become more and more grateful for each challenge. One of the most valuable development skills the book argues a parent can teach their child is how to overcome challenges, and that can only happen by letting them navigate through tasks which appear difficult to them, but easy for us - tying shoes for example. While appearing easy to the adult, the child must start with such challenges in order to be confident enough to navigate through more difficult challenges as their life unfolds. Again another axiom comes to mind, "Life doesn't get easier, we just become better equipped to handle well the challenges when presented." However, the caveat is we must keep stepping through the challenges and not settling and unconsciously ignoring them. Life will always present dilemmas, quandaries and moments of difficulty; it is our choice to try to understand how to navigate through such situations. We are the director of our lives, and it is up to us to direct ourselves to the wisdom necessary, learn said wisdom and apply it. Today, I am excited to share with you a handful of insights the book The Courage to Be Disliked taught me (there are soooooo many more - I highly recommend reading the book). On the surface, each is easy to comprehend, but the first time we put the practice into use, it may be difficult. With time and consistent effort however, the practice will become habituated and before we realize it, our lives, our everyday lives and the longview of our lives, will change for the better. Let's take a look at the list. 1.Let go of competing with the world Seeking to be superior in comparison with other people is a denial of our own journey and our true selves. As I will share in #5 below, we each have a unique something to contribute positively to the larger world, but when we consume ourselves with 'proving' ourselves in competition of any sort, we step away from self-growth and discovery of our unique talents and gifts. The only healthy form of competition "comes from one's comparison with one's ideal self". Refrain from 'gaining status or honor', in other words, approval from the outside world. Instead, invest in being yourself. Invest in self-growth and discovery and let go of competition - anything preoccupied with winning and losing as "it will invitably get in the way". 2. The meaning we give the events in our life journey determines its quality "We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live." The life truth I have seen again and again and more vividly as I grasped its true meaning is if we argue enough for our limitations, we get to keep them and they become our reality. Not because the limitations are truth, but because we made them true by accepting them. 3. Know your tasks and let others tend to theirs Described as Separation of Tasks, knowing what is our individual responsibility and what are the responsibilities of others not only will alleviate and remove much stress and worry, it will also improve our interpersonal relationships. In The Courage to Be Disliked, they use the example of a romantic partnership: "You believe in your partner; that is your task. But how that person acts with regard to your expectations and trust is other people's tasks . . . intervening in other people's tasks and taking on other people's tasks turns one's life into something heavy and full of hardship." In other words, knowing the boundaries of what is your task and what is the task of others will eliminate unnecessary worry and suffering, and it will also make life, as the book describes, far more simple and enjoyable to live. 4. Let go of the outcome The Alderian psychology way is to not cure the symptoms regarding when one exhibits a lack of self-confidence - what happened in the past, not dwelling on what brought you to this point - but rather accept yourself as you are now and find the courage to step forward letting go of the outcome which is what causes the fear. We are fearful because we don't know how it will all work out. 5. Find what you can positively contribute to the greater world and the need to be 'accepted' or 'liked' subsides "If you change your lifestyle—the way of giving meaning to the world and yourself—then both your way of interacting with the world and your behavior will have to change as well. Do not forget this point: One will have to change. You, just as you are, have to choose your lifestyle. It might seem hard, but it is really quite simple." "A way of living in which one is constantly troubled by how one is seen by others is a self-centered lifestyle in which one's sole concern is with the 'I'." The paradoxical truth reveals the freedom we can each attain when we let go of worrying about others liking us and instead focus on how to contribute well to the world. True contentment is found not by applause and approval from the outside world, but when we begin to look within and discover what we can uniquely give to the world which is a positive contribution. A positive contribution can be as simple as being a civil citizen of the world - obliging the city ordinance to shovel your sidewalk when it snows or stopping for pedestrians to cross the road. More grandly, it could be to dedicate your expertise and knowledge to develop a vaccine to curb the rise of a deadly virus. All along the spectrum, each of us hold gifts in which we can contribute positively to the community outside of us which leads us away from being solely concerned with the "I". 6. Reflect on your comments and/or judgments of others to discover your own truth "An adult, who has chosen an unfree way to live [i.e. living for the approval of the outside world], on seeing a young person [or any person for that matter] living freely here and now in this moment, criticizes the young as being hedonistic. Of course, this is a life-lie that comes out so that the adult can accept his own unfree life. An adult who has chosen real freedom himself will not make such comments and will instead cheer on the will to be free." A quick refresher, if we are judging, we are taking on someone else's task, so to begin with, let go of the judging; however, for the sake of this lesson which the book includes to further the need to separate tasks, I find it helpful to remind us when others' words or opinions sting or wound us, what they are sharing has nothing to do w…
50 min
The Parenting Junkie Show
The Parenting Junkie Show
Avital Schreiber Levy
TPJ 99: Motivate Kids To Get Ready To Go
Do you struggle to get your kids out the door in the morning? Are you ever late for things because you’re arguing with your kids or having trouble getting them ready for the day? You’re not alone. Kristen from our Present Play community asked for advice about how to deal with this. In this episode I’ll discuss my thoughts and help you get back your sanity! [00:38] Kristen's question: How can I motivate my child to get ready more quickly? [03:37] More love isn't always the answer [06:59] Natural consequences are great when they can play themselves out. [07:32] Are there any morning activities that will be missed if they aren't ready in time? [08:26] Your frustration and depleted patience is a natural consequence too. [09:29] Try playful parenting [11:26] Set a clear boundary and follow through [15:37] Avoid power struggles. If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can! Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you. Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here. Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital. Resources: * Join my membership, Present Play! * Book Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen Full Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/99
21 min
Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting
Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting
Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions
28: Bored, Sad, & Smoking Weed: How Do We Talk to Kids About Drug Use?
A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offering tips on positive coping. Reena asks when adults should be concerned about their own behavior with regard to alcohol or marijuana use. BOOK GIVEAWAY: Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, by Dr. Michele Borba Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast. 1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast 2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn) 3. Enter as many times as you'd like 4. For U.S. residents only (Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.) Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
27 min
Spark Joy
Spark Joy
Kristyn Ivey and Karin Socci
Encore! Ep 136 | Love in the Time of Corona - Conscious Dating with Angela N. Holton
Relationship expert Angela N. Holton joins us to share Conscious Dating strategies that focus on self-love and connection, even in the midst of social distancing and quarantine. Angela N. Holton, is an International Dating & Relationship Expert, Speaker, Author and Founder of Love Sanctuary, an online spiritual and personal development site centered on helping women and men create more love in their lives from the inside-out. She is the Creator of The Conscious Dating Method, a modern and revolutionary approach toward dating and relationships and the author of The Conscious Dating Method Workbook Journal. We want to hear from you! Tell us your burning tidying questions or share stories about how KonMari has impacted your life. Find us at www.sparkjoypodcast.com and click “Ask Spark Joy” to leave a question or comment for a chance to be featured on next week’s show. While you’re there, sign-up to join our Spark Joy podcast community and get notified when each episode airs. You can also join the Spark Joy podcast community on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter at the handle @sparkjoypodcast. Book a custom Virtual Tidying Experience with For the Love of Tidy (https://10to8.com/book/fortheloveoftidy/189638) Join The Spark Joy Club today! (https://www.patreon.com/sparkjoy) In this episode, you’ll enjoy: How Angela became an international dating coach Angela's definition of self-love and why it's so important as we date How to build self-love into our homes, schedules, and routines The Conscious Dating Method - how to become what we are seek How letting go is a common theme across both tidying and dating Tips for navigating dating during quarantine and beyond Social distance dating ideas How to make dating a priority when there are other things fighting for our attention Tips (do's and don'ts) to help you make online dating spark more joy and how to get started Angela's favorite dating tip: Have fun and date with curiosity. What sparks joy for Angela: Waking up and sharing her gifts. To connect with Angela, you can find her at lovesanctuary.com (https://www.lovesanctuary.com/) and on instagram @angelanholton (https://www.instagram.com/angelanholton/). You can also pick up Angela's book, The Conscious Dating Method Workbook and Journal (https://www.lovesanctuary.com/conscious-dating-method-workbook). Gems: "Relationships begin and end with relationship with self." "We are naturally wired for connection." "How are you learning how to be in a relationship if you're not dating?" You can find Karin Socci at The Serene Home (https://www.theserenehome.com/) You can find Kristyn Ivey at For the Love of Tidy (https://fortheloveoftidy.com/) Special Guest: Angela Holton.
35 min
Unswtnd + Unfltrd
Unswtnd + Unfltrd
Unswtnd+Unfltrd
Singles Edition: Destigmatizing Being Single and Navigating Mixed Signals w/ Hafsa Hassan
If you're single, it shouldn't only mean that you're not dating. There's more to you than your relationship status. Often times we witness a woman's value being tied to her relationship status. So what message are we sending to those who are single or unmarried? What happened to the belief of trusting in God's timing? In this episode I sit down with Hafsa Hassan, a transformational coach with a holistic approach, to discuss the stigma surrounding single women, the difference between settling and manifesting the right partner and how to gauge sexual compatibility before marriage. We often rush into the next phase of our lives without truly enjoying where we are now. For the most part, we are at the right place and right time in our lives. There's a reason why certain things unfold for us and why other things are put on hold for us. I get it, it's not easy blocking out the extra white noise and the unsolicited opinions of others. Don't get me started on the halal dating scene but for the sake of this episode topic, we might as well discuss it. I think it's time for us women to navigate it with the confidence and belief that we are the prize and to not lower our standards just because society thinks we are asking for too much. In this episode, Hafsa does an incredible job with covering the base line and foundation every relationship should come with.  But the most important point we covered is finding out who we are at our core, stripped away from the identity of being someone's daughter, wife, sister or mother. I just want to say this once more, your worth does not lie in the relationships you do or don't have at the moment. Don't forget that naseeb also includes yourself and what Allah has written for you to experience before ever being someone's partner. Stay single, until you're comfortable with being single. Enjoy and follow the pod on Instagram: @unsweetenedandunfiltered Follow Coach Hafsa Hassan on Instagram: @coachhafsahassan Join the Meditation and Manifestation Challenge: MindBodySol Institute* *
1 hr 11 min
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