Whole Self Podcast
Sharon Wegman, Cait Beiler, Kayla Seader
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Welcome to the Whole Self Podcast, where a group practice of professional counselors discuss all aspects of mental health and the importance of healing the body, mind, and spirit.
Available episodes
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Oldest first
Oct 13, 2022
Strategies for Dealing With Emotionally Unhealthy Parents
In this episode, Sharon and office administrator Mandy discuss strategies for dealing with emotionally unhealthy parents as a follow up to part one. They also chat about new changes coming to their office that you can hear at the end of the episode! After this episode, we will be taking a hiatus from our podcast to focus on those changes, so make sure to follow us wherever you stream your podcast, and on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Check out our website, wellspringssolutions.com, for more announcements and updates on our classes, groups, and programs.
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Sep 15, 2022
Emotionally Unhealthy Parents- Part 1
An emotionally unhealthy parent is one who has never worked through their own past or childhood wounds, so they cannot handle hard emotions or feelings. They will often justify not having done so, and show a pattern of unhealthy behaviors and communication. In this episode, therapists Sharon and Cait describe the traits of emotionally unhealthy parents, and give examples of what you might see or hear if you bring a tough emotion or situation to them. Find and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. For more information, check out the book at the link below! (Affiliate Disclaimer: This is an affiliate link. If you choose to purchase through it, it does not change the price in anyway, but we get a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases).
https://amzn.to/3RR4SX0
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Sep 1, 2022
Tips for Effective Communication
Professional counselors Cait and Kayla discuss what to do (and what not to do) to communicate effectively in safe relationships. They go through the tips in the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love by Rachel Heller, Amir Levine and explain each step in depth and with examples. If you've ever found yourself wondering how to effectively communicate your needs, or how to ensure you're hearing your partner and they're hearing you, or what's really happening when one partner blames the other for not making dinner, this episode is for you! Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Attached Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Anxious-Avoidant-science-attachment/dp/1529032172/ref=asc_df_1529032172/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=77281545773&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154 Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/The-Power-of-Vulnerability-audiobook/dp/B00D1Z9RFU/ref=sr_1_4?crid=RN1O0RP08Y9X&keywords=brene+brown+vulnerability&qid=1662055081&s=books&sprefix=brene+brown+vul%2Cstripbooks%2C85&sr=1-4
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Aug 16, 2022
Back to School: Strategies for Parents
In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon build off the previous episode about what kids are feeling when it comes times to go back to school. They discuss what anxiety is, how kids experience it, and how important it is for parents to be able to attune to their children's feelings to help them work through whatever they are experiencing. They give examples of how to attune, and then strategies for parents to help their kids work through their anxiety and prepare for the transition back to school. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Aug 11, 2022
Back to School- What are kids feeling?
In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss why children might start acting differently when August hits. They explain why kids might start feeling more anxious, and what anxiety looks like in kids who don't have the language or awareness to explain or name what they're feeling. Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists!
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Jul 21, 2022
Money Beliefs
In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss how our adult views and decisions surrounding money were formed and influenced. While it is a topic sometimes seen as taboo or not something everyone wants to discuss, it's helpful to dig into our feelings and reactions around money- it can tell us a lot about ourselves and our beliefs. Find us on instagram @wholeselftherapists!
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Jul 7, 2022
Food Beliefs
In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Cait discuss how our relationship with food was influenced and how we might've formed our beliefs about it. They discuss the different variables, how to avoid passing unhealthy beliefs to our children, and how to break unhealthy beliefs tied to food. If you are in the state of Pennsylvania and are interested in scheduling with our counselor, Joanna Faljean, visit our website at wellspringssolutions.com. Like, subscribe, and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Jun 17, 2022
Parenting is Triggering (Part 2)
In this episode, Sharon and Cait follow up on the last episode about how parenting is triggering. They discuss what can trigger parents or caretakers in each age group of newborns/babies, 0-5, and up, and how we can cope when we are triggered.
The book mentioned in today's episode can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=asc_df_0553386697/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=60258870697&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135
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Jun 9, 2022
BONUS: Addictions Treatment for Professionals- Thinking Outside of the Box with Ann Bruno
In this bonus episode, Sharon Wegman interviews Ann Bruno, M. Ed., CARC, about her specialty of addictions treatment, and how outside-of-the-box thinking can aid professionals in their recovery. If you are interested in Ann Bruno's program, The Sober Academy, you can get in touch with her through her email: brunoann1@msn.com or call/text: 520-370-9020.
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Jun 2, 2022
Parenting is Triggering
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the big emotions we can feel while parenting. They explore the following questions and more: Why can we feel so riled up from our kids? Why can we feel like our bodies are on edge? Why do we want to shut down when our child behaves a certain way? Or have the sudden urge to yell? In the next episode, they explore how parents can cope with feeling triggered in each stage of their child's life.
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May 12, 2022
14. Know Thy Workplace Trauma
Do you feel spent after a day at work? Do you find yourself unable to sleep at night, or feeling anxious or sick to your stomach at the thought of going to work? In this final episode in our trauma series, Cait and Sharon discuss workplace trauma. Workplace trauma has always been around, especially in jobs that deal hands-on with trauma (first responders, healthcare workers, etc), but since the start of the pandemic, we have seen more and more jobs become harder and often more traumatic for workers. Listen in to discover how we can develop workplace trauma, how it plays out in our day-to-day lives, and how to cope with it. Visit our website, wellspringssolutions.com, and find Work Well: Transforming Toxic Environments & Creating Healthy Corporate Culture here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1733992804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B9668PETHSVKTN1N0K31
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Apr 28, 2022
13. Know Thy Medical Trauma
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss medical trauma. They describe what it looks like, how it occurs, give examples of different types of medical traumas, and detail strategies for coping with it. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Apr 15, 2022
12. Know Thy Healing Timeline
A question we often hear is, "when will I be better?" or, "how long will it take until I don't feel like this anymore?" In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon discusses the timeline for healing. They explain the therapeutic process, the 3 things that make healing "go faster", what to do if you're unsure if your therapist is a good fit, and more. Follow us Instagram @thewholeselftherapists
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Mar 31, 2022
11. Know Thy Spiritual Trauma
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss spiritual trauma. They detail what it is and what it can look like, the results it can have on a person, and how important it is to heal our spirits and relationship with spirituality when working toward general healing of the body and mind. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Mar 10, 2022
10. Know Thy Narcissists (Part 3)
Leaving a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely difficult, especially given the way they cycle through love-bombing, devaluing/abuse, rejection, and then trying to suck you back into the relationship. In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon discuss what a good constitutes a good apology, how to set boundaries with a narcissist, how to know if you should leave the relationship, and how to go about creating an exit plan to do so safely. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Mar 3, 2022
9. Know Thy Narcissists (Part 2)
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the remaining two types of narcissists- classic and malignant. The classic narcissist is the typical archetype of a person who is an exhibitionist with an inflated sense of self, while the malignant narcissist is a very manipulative and exploitive person who frequently hurts others for pleasure. Get your free "5 Types of Narcissists" download here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/ and for more information, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Feb 17, 2022
8. Know Thy Narcissists (Part 1)
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss 5 types of narcissists they typically deal with. They define the term narcissist, and in this first part of a two part episode, they discuss the most confusing types of narcissists- Vulnerable and Covert. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
Free 5 Types of Narcissists download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/
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Feb 3, 2022
7. Know Thy Defense Mechanisms
In this episode, counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss coping mechanisms, and the three underlying emotions that usually drive us to employ a defense mechanism. They detail the six ways we tend to respond to these emotions, and why it is important to recognize so we can work to identify the unhealthy defense mechanism and replace it with a healthy coping mechanism. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
Free Coping Mechanism download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/
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Jan 20, 2022
6. Know Thy Inner Child
In this episode, counselors Kayla and Sharon discuss the “inner child”, using simple analogies, stories, and real life examples to aid listeners in understanding this concept.They define the term, note why it is important to understand our inner children, how it impacts us in adulthood, and how to begin healing the inner child. Knowing and recognizing our inner child can help us identify why we react to things the way we do, and start to relearn new and healthy behaviors in response to triggering words or events. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
Resources:
Blog: https://insighttimer.com/blog/inner-child-meaning-noticing-healing-freeing/
Podcast: The Inner Child Podcast
Books : Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD, Healing the Wounded Child Within: Heal Your Wounds, Change Your Life by Ricky Roberts III
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Jan 6, 2022
5. Know Thy Agreements
An agreement is a truth that is decided or agreed. They can be made as the result of some kind of traumatic event, statements or labels from relationships, roles in our childhood homes, or hurts and pains we’ve experienced. These experiences sent some kind of message to ourselves that we then agreed to, and now live our life as if it is truth. When we live our lives as if these agreements were truths, we find that they are binding and limiting as they play out into adulthood. Listen to Kayla and Sharon discuss examples of agreements, how they are formed, why it's important to understand them, and how to name and break them. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Dec 9, 2021
4. Know Thy Triggers
It's important to know your trauma and story so you can know what triggers you. When you're able to identify your triggers, you can begin to repave your neural pathways so you can respond differently to what might trigger you in the present. For more information on what triggers are, how to identify them, how they might make you respond, somatic exercises to help you out of a trigger response, and more- listen to Cait and Sharon in our 4th episode of our trauma series. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Nov 25, 2021
3. Know Thy Attachment Style
Knowing our attachment styles lends us insight into how we view ourselves, relate to other people, and can help us understand our trauma . In this podcast episode, counselors Sharon, Cait and Kayla discuss the importance of knowing your attachment style. They look at the five "A's" needed in childhood - affection, affirmation, attunement, affect regulation, and attention, how they relate to the five love languages, and describe the different styles of attachment. For more, follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists
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Nov 11, 2021
2. Know Thy Parent’s Trauma
The influence of parents is pivotal in child development in cognitive skills, behaviors, social skills, coping skills, and general security. Therefore it is essential to understand our parent’s story and their trauma to gain a greater understanding of ourselves. How did their own traumatic experiences influence how they parented us? How did they model coping skills to us? As we seek a greater understanding of our functioning in life, it is crucial to trace the roots of the previous generations so that we come to understand some of our beliefs resulting from our parent’s traumatic experiences. For example, was one of your parents abused, and how does that impact how they under or over-protected us? Did your parents experience a significant loss that they were never allowed to process? Was your parent able to handle your losses as a child in a nurturing way, or were you forced to take care of their feelings? Although understanding the traumas of our parents is essential…
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Oct 28, 2021
1. Know Thy Trauma
This episode is our introductory recording in our new series, “Know Thy Trauma.” Sharon Wegman, Cait Beiler, and Kalya Seader explain why each person needs to understand their personal trauma history and how it affects our body, mind, emotions, and relationships. Unknown trauma can evidence itself in depression, anxiety, physical ailments, our ability to focus, our relationships, and a plethora of other symptoms. People fail to understand that the events from their childhood during the critical bonding stage affect them even if they have little memory. Additionally, beliefs formed years in childhood are also part of the foundation from which trauma operates in the person. When an event has occurred, the brain changes to accommodate the sheer amount of loss or transition the body has had to make for the events. Our trauma events get stored like a disorganized filing cabinet that needs to be reorganized understandably, and therapy helps the brain and body again create the order…
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Mar 17, 2021
Understanding the Teen Brain
At our practice, we see a lot of teenagers and a lot of parents of teenagers. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman talk about the teen brain and why it is essential to understand what is happening during these developmental years. As therapists, we believe when you can receive knowledge about something, that can bring empowerment. Learning about the brain is so essential! In this podcast, we address why teenagers need stimulation all the time, how to communicate with your teen and some things the teenage brain needs to feel safe. Our brains always take in new information, but they are genuinely not done growing until about 24 years old. That means your teenager is stuck in the middle of the brain still being a kid, but almost being an adult (aka.. it’s a mess)! We hope this podcast leaves you feeling more equipped with tools to communicate and create safety for your teenager that serves both of you.
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Nov 19, 2020
Managing The Holidays with COVID
For a lot of people, the holidays can be a triggering time of year for a variety of reasons. While you may have been practicing how to manage these triggers, one new aspect has been thrown in the mix - COVID. In this episode, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader explore triggers such as rejection, fear of missing out, and having to say no, and setting firm boundaries. Sharon and Kayla then go on to explore areas that boundaries may need to be set, how to go about setting and respecting boundaries, and alternatives to still experience aspects of joy in this season.
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Oct 29, 2020
Mindfulness
Have you ever thought to yourself, “What is mindfulness? What does that mean?” Mindfulness is the process of doing specific exercises to transform how your brain engages with the rest of the world. We often find that we have an automatic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to something that triggers a feeling similar to trauma events from our past. For example, perhaps we were abandoned by our parents in some way in our childhood, and in turn, when someone behaves in a way that makes us feel the same emotion, we automatically respond in the same manner. Our emotional brain responds to the trigger as if it is the same wound of our past. Mindful practices change the emotional brain that reacts to the feeling, while the wise brain chooses to respond differently. In this podcast, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader discuss mindfulness, what mindful practices look like in action, and how to transform how your brain reacts or performs.
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Oct 15, 2020
How Trauma Impacts Your Relationships
Relationships and the associated conflict of relationships can have behavioral reactions that have nothing to do with the person with whom we have strife. Many of us learned trauma coping skills at a very early age. If attachment patterns form during 0-3 years and our world view forms during 0-12 years, then much of how we interpret our world occurs before we have adult relationships. HOWEVER, we can heal our brain patterns as we discover the truth and start thinking about our formative memories differently. Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss common trauma coping responses that people have in relationships based on their past in this episode. You don’t have to keep repeating cycles in your relationships if you choose to do the work of understanding your personal story.
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Jul 2, 2020
Shame: Your Worst Enemy
Shame is the most significant behind the scenes motivator of a lot of the counseling topics that come through our office. It is the enemy of your being. It drives addictions, self-image problems, marriage struggles, depression, anxiety, etc. Whatever problem you name, there is an element of shame that may not have caused the root of the problem, but now exists.
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Jun 11, 2020
Gaslighting 101
In 1944 there was a famous movie released by the name “Gaslight.” The film is the story of a man who marries a woman after a whirlwind relationship to manipulate her for financial gain. Throughout the movie, the husband proceeds to do a variety of deceptive things to convince his wife that she is insane to gain control over her and her wealth. The movie’s theme slowly created the term gaslighting, to describe a type of manipulative behavior that a person uses to try to deceive another out of truth. Examples of gaslighting actions might include; Blatant lying, frequent use of denial, projecting, manipulation of things dear to you, flattery, and a plethora of other manipulation tactics. The individual who is the victim of gaslighting will often find themselves confused sometimes to the point of developing extreme depression and anxiety. In the following podcast, Sharon Wegman and Ina Gould describe gaslighting, its effects, and strategies to deal with gaslighting.
Ga…
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Dec 10, 2019
Understanding Self-Harm
Self Harm is a growing trend amongst pre-teen and teens, and it is a topic that frequently comes up in the world of counseling. Parents, concerned friends, and even the person doing self-harm, often feel confused regarding the behavior. Self-harm touches all people groups, but it manifests itself in different expressions. Unfortunately, many people learn this behavior from their friends or from websites in which there is a pro-injury theme, and yet many parents feel ill-equipped to handle the discovery when they learn of their child’s self-harm. Below are the statistics of self-harm from 2019
Each year, 1 in 7 seven males and 1-5 females engage in self-harm/injury.Ninety percent of the people who engage in self-harm begin in their teen or pre-teen years. The average of a teen to begin to self-harm is 13 years old.Close to 50 percent of the people who engage in self-harm have experienced abuse in some way.Sixty percent of those that self-harm is female.
Self-half harm has beco…
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Nov 12, 2019
Codependency Looks Like
Co-dependency was a word that was coined by people working in the field of addictions to describe the behavior of members of an addict’s family that enabled the addict to continue with addict choices. However, in the world of counseling, we have taken over the term to describe the behaviors of individuals who carry things for others that are not their responsibility. This could look like several things. Sometimes people can have an unhealthy need for people to make them feel better. For example, if someone struggles with anxiety, they might be dependent on another individual to make them feel peaceful. This relationship struggle can cause people to control others so they don’t feel upset or it could cause people to become “people pleasers” to keep themselves or others from feeling off emotionally. People tell me all the time that they feel like they have to carry the problems or tasks of others so that they don’t feel anxious. The crux of all co-dependency is that I…
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Oct 28, 2019
Why Counseling is So Helpful
The trend and comfort of going to counseling has only developed popularity within the past decade or so. This is a good thing, but as a therapist, I still encounter the negative views or “cliches” people see in counseling. As a culture, we are just now starting to come out of the perspective that going to counseling somehow means “you’re crazy” or “there’s something wrong with you.” In reality, we all go through hard things, and the point is we need support and safe places to process these experiences to stay healthy and receive healing. In this podcast, Sharon and I discuss the different reasons why someone might want to go to counseling and how counseling can aide and support that person in their process of healing. It is possible that as you have gotten older, you have become more increasingly aware of negative patterns you have picked up over time from your childhood. Going to counseling can help you unravel some of these patterns and find new ways to think and see…
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Jun 11, 2019
Anxiety Symptoms and Self Care
Anxiety rates are on the rise in the western world. In fact, in 2018 study on anxiety, it was determined that “1 in 5 five individuals deal with some form of anxiety and would be considered the highest prevalent form of mental illness in the United States”. Most people feel a lot of shame about not being able to control their anxiety or the fact that they have anxiety, however as research on this topic evolves we are coming to understand that changes in our culture have strong influences on the development of anxiety in our culture. For example, researchers have determined that 90% of the serotonin receptors are located in the gut. Therefore, the adage that “ you are what you eat” is quite right when it comes to an understanding some of the roots of anxiety in a modern culture which eats many genetically modified and processed foods. Additionally, many therapists would agree that the use of electronics increases social isolation and increases more self-comparison and negat…
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May 14, 2019
Summer: When the Kids are Home and Moms Go Crazy!
School summer vacation has an immense undercurrent to it these days. Below the surface of the joy that the children feel about summer vacation from school, there exists a hint of angst when parents think about children being home in summer. It is rare though when a parent openly shares their negative feelings of shame and guilt associated with children being home. There is less structure, less mom time, and less money available because food, entertainment, camp, and vacation expenses go up. Moms, in particular, feel more guilt and shame over not being able to be the fantastic mom portrayed in social media. Therefore, they find it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of connecting with their children and find summer to be a struggle. Two conflicting emotions are colliding! However, God desires to empower us in all the losses and negative feelings we experience during this season. We love our children; however, we may need some assistance in processing our feelings of guilt,…
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Apr 16, 2019
How Your Past Influences Your Spiritual Walk
It’s common for people sitting across from me in the counseling office to talk about their inability to feel safe or connected to God. Their walk with God seems very distant or is plagued with feels of guilt and shame. Some people are pretty clear that they want no part of God because of how God was presented to them by authority figures. They are clear that God represents pain and they want no part of him because of the way he has been described to them. An essential piece of developing an excellent spiritual walk involves understanding how our childhood attachment issues with authority figures impact our current spiritual struggles. In the attached podcast, Sharon Wegman and Cait Beiler discuss how childhood issues can affect our spiritual walk.
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Jan 16, 2019
Healthy Sexuality in Marriage
By Cait Beiler
"Because sex isn't properly introduced to us as a gift from God, an act of worship, and a holy binding act that should be celebrated in the right context, we know sex as something as scandalous and devious and guilt-carrying to desire." - Moh Iso
Yup, that's right you read the title correctly. This blog post and podcast is all about sex. If you are someone who instantly felt negative feelings surrounding this topic, this blog post and podcast are precisely for you. We currently live in a constant sexually stimulated culture. The problem is as a society we have done a collectively poor job of talking about sex in the ways it needs to be addressed. This taboo mentality we have over sex has especially affected Christian culture. Not talking about such an important topic promotes negative feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment around sexuality. Lack of knowledge and discussion around the subject of sex lead us into an empty, unfulfilling sex life. We believe that God…
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Nov 29, 2018
Coping with The Holiday Blues – Part Two
In the last months, I have been impressed with God’s sunset shows. I am not sure if it was that I was driving that direction at the time of the sunset or if it was because we had such a deary summer with lots of rain and clouds that I was aware of the sunsets, but none the less, I was mindful of the beauty. The artist in me wanted to chase the photography shot, but with each turn to try and capture the beauty, I found myself losing the vision as the sun was setting. I was chasing sunsets only to discover that they could not be caught. I felt like God said to me, “ Stop chasing sunsets. They are a gift for the moment, not for you to capture.” That started me thinking how sometimes in our effort to chase happiness, we miss the gifts of the day that are right under our noses. Are you aware of the sunset on your drive and are you grateful for the beauty? To maintain a positive outlook through whatever hard season you are going through, you are going to need to choose to recogni…
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Nov 14, 2018
Coping with Holiday Blues- Part One
The holiday blues are authentic for many people. When people sing the phrase, “ it’s the most wonderful time of the year,” for many people the words could be changed to “it’s the most triggering time of year,” or “it’s the most depressing time of the year." In climates where the weather becomes cold, and the sky is more overcast, depression symptoms increase because of the lack of sunlight and less time outdoors. November is typically the month I begin to see more cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.); which is depression symptoms tied to less sunlight exposure in our part of the United States. In some parts of the world, overexposure to sunlight can also result in the same symptomology. In addition to an increase in seasonal depression, many people are triggered by losses that surface during the holidays. When we do not have loving family members with which to spend the holidays or have abusive family members, family conflicts, the death of a loved one, divor…
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Oct 30, 2018
The Seven Cardinal Sins of Manipulative Parenting
How do you feel after someone has manipulated, guilted or shamed you into doing something for them? You do not feel good about yourself. You feel shameful and have poor self-esteem after the matter. To compound matters, how do you feel when you have no choice in a matter, and you are not allowed to share your feelings or say no? You probably feel powerless and violated in addition to feeling guilty, shameful, condemned, and perhaps lacking trust in the other person. Unfortunately, parents in their own feelings of powerlessness sometimes resort to manipulative techniques to get their children to comply with their requests. We have all been there and done that type of behavior in the parenting journey, however, if we grew up with emotionally or verbally abusive behavior, we may not realize when we are being manipulative in our parenting. We desire to empower our children to move toward the design their creator has made them, but we take away some of the fuel they need to achieve…
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Oct 23, 2018
Characteristics of Successful Parents
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Characteristics of Successful Parents
Parenting is the toughest job out there. It triggers more emotional reactions than we could ever imagine before walking out the journey of parenting. Each phase of the child’s development triggers different responses from us, but the underlying theme is powerlessness. Am I doing this right? Am I messing up my child with my dysfunction? How can I parent well in the midst of a busy schedule? All these questions are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting while feeling powerless. In the first of a two-part podcast, Sharon Wegman, LPC, and Cait Beiler discuss ten characteristics of successful parents from a counseling point of view.
Included in their discussion are the following 10 Characteristics of Successful Parents;
Confident in parenting without being severe or authorita…
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Oct 11, 2018
A Dozen Ways You Can Help a Person Who is Struggling
From the dawn of time, we have documented stories from the Bible in which people did not know how to help others who were grieving and in emotional and physical pain. There are so many reasons that people are not skilled in helping those in distress. Those reasons can range from their own childhood trauma, lack of seeing it modeled and a plethora of other reasons. However, we are called to be a people who comfort those who mourn and many times our western culture does not know how to do that when pain lasts for longer than a couple of weeks. While the culture of the west is more educated in psychological distress such as depression and anxiety, we are less skilled in grieving with those that are mourning and long-term support of someone struggling for an extended period of time. In this podcast, Sharon Wegman, LPC and Cait Beiler of Wellsprings Solutions, LLC discuss a dozen ways that you can help those that are struggling.
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Aug 13, 2018
Manipulation in Relationships
Manipulation in relationships is pervasive in all relationships in life. Be it our relationships with our significant other, our child or with a friend, most people resort to some form of manipulation in the course of their life to get what they want without having to be vulnerable and state exact needs. We fear vulnerability because of the fear of rejection and abandonment; denial of our needs feels much more hurtful than that of getting our needs met through manipulation. When one person wants another person to do something, our human nature can readily resort to some type of manipulative words or behaviors to get what we desire in the situation. Transversely, when someone is trying to get us to do something that we do not want to do, our human nature can quickly resort to passive manipulation as our way of maintaining power and saying no without being rejected. Think of the child who is told no to a request for a piece of candy. The child does not yet have control of their imp…
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Jul 10, 2018
Mental Health and The Church
There is a different kind of math that we as therapists use when we meet people. I refer to it as therapy math. It is different because we are assessing people based on their family mental health history, traumas, life experiences, childhood communication patterns, and a number of other assessment tools. These different factors help create a detailed picture of the person sitting across from us in the therapy room. Rarely is there a simple reason that explains why the person makes the choices they do. Most of the time, the emotional math equation that defines the person is more involved than a simple equation such as 1 + 1 = 2. In most situations, we are trying to discover the algebraic equation that brought us to our present day sum and identifying the unknown factors can sometimes be confusing.
Our western culture tends to process information from surface observations and then constructs a scientific math equation. However, there can be other unknown factors in the equation that are…
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May 29, 2018
Summer: When the Kids are Home and Moms Go Crazy!
School summer vacation has an immense undercurrent to it these days. Below the surface of the joy that the children feel about summer vacation from school, there exists a hint of angst when parents think about children being home in summer. It is rare though when a parent openly shares their negative feelings of shame and guilt associated with children being home. There is less structure, less mom time, and less money available because food, entertainment, camp, and vacation expenses go up. Moms, in particular, feel more guilt and shame over not being able to be the fantastic mom portrayed in social media. Therefore, they find it difficult to focus on the positive aspects of connecting with their children and find summer to be a struggle. Two conflicting emotions are colliding! However, God desires to empower us in all the losses and negative feelings we experience during this season. We love our children; however, we may need some assistance in processing our feelings of guilt,…
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