I struggled with guilt when I became a mother - Jocelyn
Jocelyn is a full-service sex worker who’s seen many aspects of the industry, and who currently specializes in sexual healing and sexual surrogacy.
Joslyn is a 37 year old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, single and dating, and Canadian. She grew up in a Protestant Christian home. She describes her body as athletic with curves.
How Healing Happens: Sex work can be a bridge to all levels of healing, from getting basic touch needs met to helping the body re-wire for safety after trauma to helping people with physical difficulties achieve sexual experiences at all.
* 5:04 - Jocelyn shares her first memory of sexual pleasure—kissing during after-school care with a boy she liked.
* 7:30 - There was no Sex Ed or discussion at home. She was raised by a single mom and she didn’t tell her when she got her period.
* 10:40 - Jocelyn opens up about experiencing emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her father. When she confronts him, he gets ugly.
* 20:42 - Jocelyn talks about her first consensual sexual experience with her long-term boyfriend at age 17.
* 22:37 - She shares an early pregnancy and abortion experience with the same boyfriend.
* 23:55 - She then has her first affair, with a beautiful man who has a tiny penis. Discussion follows about tiny penis taboo, and what men can do to pleasure a woman via other means.
* 31:13 - Friends keep asking Jocelyn to participate in threesomes.
* 34:05 - Sex work comes into her life during a time of financial struggle when she’s a single mom at age 29.
* 36:55 - Jocelyn shares her internal conflict about the stigma of sex work even while the money is great. She starts to withdraw from her friends.
* 39:37 - A friend introduces Jocelyn to “The Secret Diary of a Call Girl” in the context of her own sex worker fantasies, and it changes how Jocelyn relates to her profession. She begins to open up to the healing potential of her work.
* 48:48 - Jocelyn talks about what a surrogate can do in the context of healing sexual trauma.
* 50:10 - She gets into detail about being a sexual surrogate and her work with folks with disabilities, and tells us about one specific client.
* 1:02:42 - Jocelyn talks about her hard red lines, and how she communicates boundaries to clients.
The audio extras for this episode are:
* Jocelyn’s first experience of penetration was not consensual and involves some physical trauma that may be too graphic for some listeners. Therefore I’ve placed it in this separate space so you can opt in to listening to it if you choose. Jocelyn shares how she initially gave consent, how it rapidly turned non-consensual, the processing she has done in the intervening years, and the feelings she now has about the man she was with that night. This is available to everyone, regardless of whether you are a patron or not.
* Jocelyn and I talk about whether the reported statistics for childhood abuse of boys are far too low
* How Jocelyn separates her personal sexuality from her “work” sexuality; also, how she talks with her son about sex
* The extended Lowdown Q&A
REMEMBER: ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly contribution at that site.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak