Smart Sex, Smart Love with Dr Joe Kort
Dr Joe Kort
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Psychotherapist, life coach and author, Dr Joe Kort is breaking through the taboos of the most intimate of subjects, to bring leading experts together to talk all things sex and relationships. There’s always room for improving sex and together, Joe Kort and his guests delve deeper into the most personal of human behavior, getting right under the covers to discuss the different paths we take towards pleasure. #pleasure #sex https://www.facebook.com/joekort/ https://twitter.com/drjoekort www.JoeKort.com
Available episodes
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Apr 6, 2022
Lisa Diamond on Arousal, Desire, Emotions and Love
Can a heterosexual woman unexpectedly fall in love with another woman? Can a gay man eroticize about a heterosexual woman? It is in our human capacity to respond to our sexuality even though society is not quite accepting of sexual fluidity. What exactly is sexual fluidity? According to Lisa Diamond, professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah, sexual fluidity is the capacity for flexible erotic responses. For the past 25 years, Dr. Diamond has studied the development and expression of gender and sexuality. She is best known for her research on sexual fluidity, and wrote a book entitled “Sexual Fluidity,” which received the Distinguished Book Award from the American Psychological Association’s Society forthe Study of LGBTQ issues.
In this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Diamond talks about arousal and desire, and emotions and love, which are some of the components of eroticism, but the true mystery of sexual fluidity – why it happens, who experiences it and why – remains a mystery in many ways. In this podcast, Dr. Diamond discusses the extensive research she has conducted on sexual fluidity, and she shares her findings. Is there a gender difference? Are women more sexuality fluid than men? Aren’t we “born that way” and we cannot change? Through the years, we have learned to see ourselves through such a small lens, Dr. Diamond reports. Let’s take a wider look and see what we can learn!
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Mar 22, 2022
Nic Reveles: Create a safe space to explore your sexuality
Nic Reveles, somatic sex educator and sexological bodyworker, has dedicated the past several years of his life to helping gay, bisexual and queer-identified men recover from the trauma imposed on their bodies by culture, church and family in a centuries’ old attempt to control sexuality and sexual expression.
“Coach Nic” developed Body Prayer to reclaim the Sacred for our Erotic Bodies. In his new profession – he was a reknown musician for more than two decades and then shifted careers to the Catholic priesthood before choosing sexological bodywork – he helps men learn to enjoy their bodies more, deepen their sacred body experience, and open up to the possibility of the erotic body. “You marry the ritual of the sacred with the erotic, the body and spirit, and it can be “really delicious,” he professes. Too many people feel shackled and don’t even know how to ask the questions about their sexual erotic being, he finds. It can be as simple as touching a hand, but touching for many brings feelings of shame and guilt. Nic helps clients understand how touch works, explore touching in ways never tried before, and learn to love the sacred experience.
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Coach Nic talks about how men can feel safe and comfortable about their sexual erotic being.
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Mar 8, 2022
Joshua Grubbs: Pornography, is it a problem or an addiction?
Pornography is not an addiction; it is a way to escape from other issues in your life. In a recent Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Joshua Grubbs, PhD, a clinical psychologist and associate professor in the clinical psychology PhD program at Bowling Green State University, talks about addictions and how to gain a better understanding of them.
He notes that research is exploding when it comes to understanding sex addiction … and whether it truly is an addiction. “The more we know about it, the more we need to know,” he finds. Not every problem we face is an addiction, he reports. Your problem is real, but it may not be an addiction, he has learned through extensive research.
To find out more about the research of this internationally recognized expert on behavioral addictions, listen to this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast hosted by Dr. Joe Kort.
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Feb 22, 2022
Master Arch: The humanity of the Findom fetish
“Someone asked me to choke him for a fee, and that is how it all started,” reports Master Arch, a fetish worker, ProDom, fetish creator, death escort and financial fetishist. Master Arch has been on the scene a long time and has a great deal to share about the Findom fetish.
Financial domination (also known as Findom) is now more widely accepted; it no longer is a passing fad, Master Arch points out during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. It goes beyond fetish in the world of BDSM, and it is ethical, moral and therapeutic, Master Arch notes. “We discuss the terms of the relationship beforehand and have a meeting of the minds to ensure all transactions and actions are consensual. The client is ready to relinquish financial control to me and become my slave.” Like other BDSM activities, financial domination requires boundaries and communication, he adds.
During this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Master Arch also discusses his work as a death escort – helping people who are looking for one last erotic experience – and how people can benefit from talking about fetishes. To learn more about how Master Arch has helped countless people through his work – which he does “very ethically,” he asserts, listen to this podcast.
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Feb 8, 2022
Matt Phifer: Narcissism is toxic but you can triumph over it
Narcissists engage in behaviors that will keep the world around them more comfortable, and they will trap you into believing their way of thinking is the only way of thinking. You do not have to be a victim in their life of manipulation.
You won’t change a narcissist, but you can change how you handle yourself and cope more effectively with these situations. In a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Matt Phifer, a therapist and expert in toxic relationships, narcissism, trauma and emotional abuse, talks about understanding narcissism and codependency, and how to detoxify from toxic relationships.
Healing is 100 percent on you, he emphasizes. We all need to be responsible for our own mental and physical health. The healthier we become, the less impact the narcissist will have on us. When we are immersed in the manipulative trap of a narcissist, it makes it even harder to find a way out. Start the healing journey today. The narcissist is not going anywhere and always will be looking for another victim.
To learn how to understand narcissism so we can break free from being victimized and begin our healing journey, listen to this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast
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Jan 24, 2022
Kate Balestrieri on women reclaiming their sexuality on their own terms
Women never gave up their claim; it was stripped from them, finds Kate Balestrieri, PhD, licensed psychologist and certified sex addiction therapist. Women can build resilience and lead the life they want – sexually and holistically. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Balestrieri talks about the challenges women face when it comes to sexuality, identity and vulnerability, and how they can reclaim their sexuality on their own terms.
Women often are treated in unwanted ways and society tolerates it, she professes. This is a challenge women constantly face. “Push back and punch down,” she advises women. Why are men allowed to demonstrate “weaponized incompetence,” she calls it, and expect women to be and do it all. “We end up being over functional to compensate for men’s weaponized incompetence that they use against us, but they still expect us to perform in bed,” she says. In this podcast, she also talks about the Madonna whore complex, sex after trauma, slutting (“Go slut, go!” she announces), and the constant cat and mouse game women must play. It’s time for women to have a positive, liberated and shame-free life.
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Jan 10, 2022
Heather McPherson on becoming a multi-passionate entrepreneur
Heather McPherson is living her dream career. A multi-passionate entrepreneur, she has incorporated all of her loves into her business and is having the time of her life! A licensed marriage and family therapist supervisor, a licensed professional counselor supervisor, an AASECT and SHA certified sex therapist, the CEO and Founder of SHA (Sexual Health Alliance), the CEO of Respark Therapy and Associates, and a podcast host of Practice Outside the Lines, Heather is doing it all! In a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, she talks about her career path, how it all started and what she is doing today to help other sex therapists get the training they need and deserve. That is why she started the Sexual Health Alliance, which offers online certification trainings. The field is exploding, she finds, as a whole evolution in sexual mental health is emerging.
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Dec 27, 2021
Lynda Spann on Learning how to improve your relationship from same sex couples
Marriage and couples therapist Lynda Spann, PhD, knows firsthand the struggles two women may face in an intimate and romantic relationship. She also knows how to love in a way that frees her to be her true self, and, today, she works with all couples – different sex and same sex – to improve their relationship. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Spann talks about how different sex couples can learn from same sex couples how to have a healthy, loving relationship.
Women traditionally are trained to take the role of nurturer, and when two women in a relationship are focused on that, “they can create an amazing relationship,” she finds. Women are people pleasers, they are peacemakers, they are accepting and supportive. Intimacy comes naturally. Same sex relationships not only are legitimate, but they also are worth emulating. So, how can a couple move into a place where they can be their own unique secure self and still be together as a couple and maintain a supportive, loving connection?
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Dec 13, 2021
Mina Blatt on Big Emotions: what is your child really feeling?
Your child comes home from school angry and upset. He throws a temper tantrum for seemingly no reason at all. You respond with the same anger and send him to his room in frustration. His bad behavior is not tolerable, so you punish him for his outburst.
You and your daughter spend a fun day at the beach. When it is time to go home, she protests and starts screaming at you. She is not ready to leave and is not going to leave. The louder she yells, the angrier you get. By the time you are able to drag her to the car, you are emotionally exhausted and tell her this is the last time you are ever taking her to the beach.
As a parent, is there a way to manage emotional outbursts successfully in our kids? Do our kids understand their emotions? They probably don’t even know the words to describe feelings such as nervousness, anxiety, fear or worry.
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Mina Blatt, a therapist with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, provides some strategies and advice for parents to help their kids understand and manage their emotions effectively.
Grounding, breathing techniques and time outs are three of several ideas Mina explores during the podcast. She also talks about how parents can manage their own emotions better when their kids have uncontrollable outbursts. Remember, we are role models for our kids. They are always watching and learning from their parents’ behaviors, Mina points out. To hear the entire Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast and pick up a few valuable tips on helping your kids manage their emotions
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Nov 30, 2021
Jeff Abraham on how to last longer in bed
Couples often are so focused on lasting long enough in bed that they end up experiencing performance anxiety and the shame and worry that accompanies those feelings. The result: a bad bedroom outcome. But this can change! During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Joe Kort talked with Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, who offers some advice for lasting longer in the bedroom and having better intimacy. Anxiety is the number one reason therapists see individuals dealing with sexual dysfunction, and many express their worries about premature ejaculation. The bedroom experience should be stress-free, romantic, empowering, safe and full of explosive happiness. Sometimes, couples need some additional tools to make that happen.
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Nov 15, 2021
Savannah Hauk talks about crossdressing
Crossdressing is not a gender; it’s an action! Savannah Hauk, author, speaker and podcaster on the subject of demystifying the crossdressing experience, shares her thoughts and experiences as a crossdresser on a Smart Sex Smart Love episode. Savannah is a male-to-female dual gender individual supporting and promoting non-binary visibility. Her focus is letting every crossdressing person find their own confidence, expression, identity and voice. She frequently is asked why she chooses to crossdress … for kicks, as a hobby, to attract attention? “It is part of who I am,” she explains. It’s time to plant new seeds, she adds. What we learned 20 years ago is old thinking. “We have lived with stereotypes that have defined us for years. We’re supposed to be a man or a woman, not both, our society continues to tell us. I’m very comfortable being a man six days a week, but on Sundays, I go to Starbucks for coffee and work as Savannah.” In this podcast, she talks about how her…
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Nov 1, 2021
Shana James on breaking the cultural context about a man’s vulnerability
Vulnerability in men can lead to isolation, depression and suicide. In fact, the suicide rate in men is four times more than women, and suicide is the seventh leading cause of death in men.
Why are men afraid to share their vulnerability? And what can they do about it so they will feel empowered to lead a life of connection, openness and honesty? As young boys, males are taught not to shed tears because it is a sign of weakness. It is unmanly and unattractive, they’ve been told. It’s time to break this cultural context! During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Love and Leadership Coach Shana James, talks about how men can create more balance in their life so they will feel free to share their vulnerability and feel less isolated and alone. She explores vulnerability as a strength in men, not a weakness. Men need to feel safe to explore and express their vulnerability, she asserts, but we’ve created a world that won’t allow this to happen. Listen to Shana’s podcast with Dr. Jo…
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Oct 18, 2021
Linda Weiner on reconnecting to your sensual and sexual self
Sensate focus isn’t a new technique, however, do you know how to use it effectively to truly reconnect to your body and your sensual self?
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Linda Weiner, certified diplomate in sex therapy and author of a book entitled, “Sensate focus in sex therapy: The illustrated manual,” explains this mindful touching technique that can enhance your sex life. “You can turn off the chatter” in your mind and tune into your body to improve your sex life, she finds. The technique especially is beneficial for sexually distressed individuals.
Sensate focus is a series of touching experiences that people can use for themselves to reconnect to their body and calm themselves or use with a partner to reduce pressure between the two and improve their sexual health. Deepening a sexual connection with your partner may mean focusing less on sexuality and more on the sensuality of touching. Turn off the thinking brain and turn on the primal brain, she asserts. In…
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Oct 4, 2021
Cody Daigle-Orians talks about asexuality
How do I know if I’m asexual? Do I even understand the word “asexuality?”
During the Season 3 opening podcast of Smart Sex, Smart Love, Cody Daigle-Orians, an asexual writer and educator, shares his own personal experience of discovering his identity as asexual in hopes of helping others who are confused about finding the “label” that bests fit them.
When you are not sure of what you are feeling, be sure of what you are not, he asserts.
Cody came out as gay at the age of 18, but he knew that label really wasn’t the right fit for him. He chose “gay” because at the time that was the recognized language. “I didn’t understand what I was, but I clearly could see what I was not.” He knew he didn’t relate to sex the same way as other gay men; in fact, he thought he was a broken gay man. Cody didn’t experience sexual attraction, but he still wanted sexual pleasure.
Three years ago, when he was 42, Cody came out again – this time as asexual.
“It was such a won…
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Jul 12, 2021
Greg Johnson on Gay Men's Body Image Issues
Approximately 84 percent of gay men say they feel under intense pressure to have a good body. Only one percent stated they were “very happy” with their appearance, and as they grow older, the body image struggles seem to intensify.
Why are gay men hyper-focused on body image?
Objectification, mattering, minority stress and gay ageism are contributors to a gay man’s dissatisfaction with his body, studies have shown. In addition, Apps like Grindr only make it worse. Gay men are shamed, humiliated and discriminated against, and this can lead to mental health problems.
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Greg Johnson, therapist with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, talks about the issue of poor body image and low self-esteem that many gay men are living with. He offers advice on how to overcome these issues – which often are rooted in their childhood, and how to start valuing and validating yourself as a gay man. He also will discuss obje…
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Jul 5, 2021
Dr. Susana Mayer on a woman's personal path to pleasure
Your sex drive has shut down. You’re getting older, you’ve hit menopause, and you don’t feel beautiful anymore. You do not have to be ghosted by your libido, says Sex Therapist Susana Mayer, PhD, during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. Sexuality is ageless. Your body may be changing, but that does not mean your sex life is ending.
You are in charge of your pleasure. If you feel your partner is not understanding the physical changes you are going through and how they are affecting your libido, have you talked about it openly and honestly? Women have a voice and need to use it; they need to talk about how menopause is affecting their sexuality so they can take some steps to regain the sexually active life they once enjoyed.
You may feel unattractive and old, but your partner doesn’t see you that way. Allow your partner to reassure you that your sex life is still good. You are not 20 years old anymore, so stop expecting your life – and your sex life – to be like it was when…
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Jun 25, 2021
Martha Kauppi on Successful Polyamory
Can a polyamorous relationship work? Is monogamy the only relationship that can succeed? According to Certified Sex Therapist Martha Kauppi, beautifully functioning open relationships can and do work!
Polyamory involves engaging in multiple romantic or sexual relationships with different people. These relationships will work, but couples must first put the right pieces in place to ensure a secure, successful, workable and healthy polyamorous relationship.
Here are a few factors to consider before deciding if a polyamorous relationship is right for you, Martha shares.
* One partner may want an open relationship, but the other partner is dead set against it.
* One partner tried a polyamorous relationship in the past and it didn’t work, so he/she is hesitant to try again.
* One partner breaks the relationship agreement.
* Couples don’t know they need to set up “ground rules” to make the relationship work.
* One partner is worried the other partner may fall in love wit…
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Jun 16, 2021
Sarah Scales on love, marriage, and identity with a transitioning partner.
In hopes of helping other couples publicly transition easier, Sarah Scales, a licensed master social worker with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, shares her story as a pansexual woman married to a trans female.
“I came into the relationship knowing my partner was gender fluid,” she begins in this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast.
At first, the relationship was uncomfortable, not because of her partner’s gender fluidity, but because they didn’t know how to identify themselves publicly. Words like “we” became common descriptors as they tried to avoid he/she pronouns. This growing discovery of gender fluidity impacted both partners.
“We had a lot of long, intense conversations on how to publicly transition,” Sarah says. “We both were closeted; it was a transition for me, too.”
This was a huge challenge for the couple; when do they come out, how do they come out, and when do they stand up and speak and stand down and support? They h…
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Jun 13, 2021
Dr. Evan Goldstein on developing the Future Method product line for safer bottoming
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Most people don’t know they should bring science into the bedroom before having sex. That’s why nationally renowned Anal Surgeon Evan Goldstein, DO, founded The Future Method, an innovative step-by-step approach to sex care. Backed by extensive scientific research, The Future Method consists of products developed by medical professionals to improve sexual health. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Goldstein talks about why the anus and anal area need to be treated with respect. As an anal surgeon for more than 10 years, he saw patients dealing with major health issues because of incorrect prepping before sex as well as aftercare. Over-douching, poor hygiene, damage to the anus, and incorrect use of sex toys are just a few issues he commonly sees in his medical practice.
For example, approximately 90 percent of people use tap water to prepare for bottoming, he points out in the podca…
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Jun 13, 2021
Dr. Evan Goldstein on issues that can result from bottoming —a physician's perspective.
Everybody is talking about anal sex … but are they really talking about it? During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Evan Goldstein, DO, a nationally renowned anal surgeon, talks candidly about anal sex, and how to do it successfully and experience a new heightened level of pleasure, while keeping it safe and clean.
He started his surgical practice about 10 years ago focusing on everything anal. Dr. Goldstein is considered the preeminent expert and thought leader in this field, bringing the important issues surrounding sexual health to the forefront for all communities, and eliminating the stigma attached to anal sex.
Through working with a wide spectrum of individuals, he has learned they want to talk about anal sex but are uncomfortable starting the conversation.
People don’t understand the positive experience this can be. When they are ready to “talk about ass,” as he says, there are a few most frequently asked questions, such as “isn’t the anus dirty?” Or, “is it…
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Jun 7, 2021
John Ball and Lisa Goyette on how businesses can create a more authentic and empathetic workplace
Let’s take a moment to relive those days as children on the playground. Were you bullied, teased, or ridiculed? You probably remember some of those experiences like they happened yesterday. Years ago, you built walls of protection and silos of safety to make sure no one could hurt you.
It’s time to tear down those walls and silos and take the risk of going back to the playground again, say John Ball and Lisa Goyette. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. John and Lisa, founders of CH Training & Coaching, talk with Dr. Joe Kort about how businesses can create a more authentic and empathetic workplace “playground” by increasing relational intimacy through social and emotional intelligence.
Social and emotional intelligence is the science of managing yourself and connecting with others. To do this, John and Lisa recommend using a new “life lens,” as they call it, to improve relational intimacy and healthy communication. Vulnerability, authenticity, resilience and adaptabi…
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May 31, 2021
Lucie Fielding on sexual excitement and exploration
Unfortunately, we live in a world of either/or, with us or against us, conservative or liberal, for gay rights or against gay rights. In a Smart Sex Smart Love podcast, Lucie Fielding, sex educator, writer and therapist, challenges binary in every way. Can society and social culture ever break out of the world of binary thinking? This mindset is changing too slowly despite the increasing visibility of trans and non-binary folx. We need to step away from white cis folx and monogamy and step into a really queer space, she says in the podcast. It is okay to challenge the norms. Biology does not determine destiny. It’s time to bring different energies, open up a whole new wheelhouse of “typical” sex, learn how to use your body for sexual pleasure in different ways, and create new possibilities that our culture has not previously allowed. Find your own landscape, she urges.
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May 24, 2021
Galen Fous on the collision of fear, shame and trauma with sexual development and desire
There is an epidemic … people leading secret lives. It causes psychological and relationship mayhem. Your innate sexuality is your birth right, however, few claim it. In fact, many struggle most of their life searching for their authentic self instead of freely enjoying their sexuality, and expressing it honestly, consensually and shame-free.
No matter how much you have struggled in the past with secretive, compulsive, unhealthy sexual behaviors, you still can learn to become sexually honest, authentic and fulfilled. Your current and future partners will be grateful you did. Galen Fous, master of transpersonal psychology (MTP), sex-positive therapist, author, educator and sex researcher, was a guest on Smart Sex, Smart Love with host Joe Kort, PhD, sexologist and psychotherapist. Galen talks about the collision of fear, shame and trauma with sexual development and desire. He encourages couples to shift from secrecy to honesty and confident expression of authentic desires. It is time…
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May 16, 2021
Darcia Miller on why it is difficult for African Americans to seek mental health services
It remains taboo in the black community to seek mental health services. It feels unsafe, it is intimidating, and it is not the place to air your dirty laundry. These beliefs need to change, says Darcia Miller, a licensed master social worker with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. She knows they are true … not just by her work as a mental health therapist, but as an African American woman who was raised with these beliefs. And she also knows it is time to change these views. We are supposed to trust the mental health system because it helps people, it protects them and provides resources, but will it really be safe, will it really help African Americans?
Generation after generation, black families have taught their children to be fearful of the world; don’t draw attention to yourself and your family. They constantly live in a survival mode. Will their child return home safely? Will the police show up unexpectedly at their house? Black families be…
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May 10, 2021
Tylia Flores on Dating and Cerebral Palsy
“For each rejection, I’m a better, stronger person.”
Tylia Flores, disability activist and advocate, was born with Cerebral Palsy. Although her condition has affected her mobility, it never has altered her determination to make a difference in the world. Through her many challenges and obstacles, she discovered a passion for writing and chose to share her life experiences with anyone who will listen. In a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Tylia talks about dating and Cerebral Palsy and the lessons she has learned as a 25-year-old sexually active wheelchairbound woman with Cerebral Palsy.
Self-love comes first, she strongly believes. It helps to deal with rejection in relationships, she has found from personal experience. Not every relationship ends like a Nicholas Sparks novel. Embrace the journey of dating and the experience of getting to know someone. It’s like layers of a cake: the first layer is trust, the second is communication and the third is love. Take your time savorin…
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May 2, 2021
Dr. Laurie Betito on Sexual wellness
Why don’t we talk about sexual pleasure?
Why are teenage boys taking Viagra?
How can older adults continue to enjoy sex?
At the Pornhub Wellness Center, these questions – and dozens more – are discussed honestly and openly and backed by evidence-based facts. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Dr. Joe Kort interviewed Laurie Betito, PhD, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and Director of the Pornhub Wellness Center. The sexual wellness, sexual health and sexual education website was designed for people to learn about sex the right way. You won’t learn to drive by watching “The Fast and Furious;” why would you think you could learn about sex by watching porn, Dr. Betito asks.
Sadly, people – often kids – seek out porn sites for education. That is what they will get – porn education, not sex education. Kids are curious about sex because they are not learning it in school or from their parents, so they will find it with just a few clicks on their computer or ph…
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Apr 26, 2021
Dr. Carlton on Breaking the Taboo: Your complete guide to anal sex
It’s not conversation at the dinner table, but millions of people from all over the globe quietly are listening and learning about anal sex. It’s one of most talked about topics on social media, and a pleasure no one should be denied just because people think it is taboo, announces Dr. Carlton, a gastroenterologist from San Diego, California, who frequents TikTok to share his messages about anal sex.
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, he discussed the anatomy of anal sex, how to prepare for it, how to take preventive measures to ensure a safe experience, and what the secrets are to making it a pleasurable experience – one he describes as “rockets going off.”
So many people are embarrassed to talk about anal sex or ask questions about it, but let’s face it, most people want to know how to do it right, how to do it well, and how to do it safely. Who better to ask than a gay GI doctor?
Everyone can – and should – enjoy anal sex – even women. And the G spot (there…
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Apr 20, 2021
Buck Dodson on How to Master Midlife as a Gay Man
How do you master midlife as a gay man? Do you see it as a time of crisis, or a time of new beginnings? Do you feel confused or empowered? Are you disoriented or excited?
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Buck Dodson, board certified life coach and licensed psychotherapist, talks about the core steps you can take to make this second coming out full of new possibilities, fewer problems and a real sense of freedom and authenticity.
It is time to design your best midlife! As a gay man, you got a jump start when you came out of the closet and faced the challenge of discrimination, homophobia, exclusion and learning how to live in an often unaccepting heterosexual world. You had the “Gay Advantage.” Our lives as gay men essentially start over twice – when we come out of the closet, and when we reach midlife. What we faced as gay men will influence our midlife journey in distinct and different ways. We found the courage once; we can find it again. Sadly, many of us don’t real…
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Mar 28, 2021
Dr. Joe Kort on Mixed orientation marriages and relationships
I’ve heard the story so many times through the years …. a husband comes out of the closet, only to send his wife into it. Mixed orientation marriages and relationships are far more common than we realize, but our culture still considers them taboo. One spouse is gay or bisexual, one is heterosexual, and the secret finally is released, only to cause anger, hurt, resentment and a flood of negative emotions.
These couples still love each other, which creates even more anxiety and conflict. This truly is a two-person crisis. The wife deserves support, understanding and someone to talk to, but she is so embarrassed and humiliated that she hides from the truth. The husband desperately wants to be set free from his secret, but he doesn’t want to hurt his wife or his family. So, what happens?
The couple can split up and lead two separate lives, or they can begin the journey of relationship transformation as they learn how to deal with their new normal and discover what they really want…
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Mar 22, 2021
Jessica Topor on marriage and family therapy
“Marriage shouldn’t be this hard.”
“Now that we are family, we should be getting along but we aren’t.”
“We are in this for the long haul, but I don’t know if the long haul is worth the struggles we are encountering.”
Approximately 67 percent of what couples argue about never goes away. And the baggage they carry into the marriage never seems to lighten.
A happy and healthy marriage can exist … but it takes work. Just because you checked the “married” box doesn’t mean the honeymoon phase will last forever effortlessly.
Marriage and family are an active living process that continues for a lifetime.
During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Jessica Topor, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health, shares insights about this form of psychotherapy that looks at the behaviors of all family members and the way these behaviors affect each person and their relationships with each other, and the family unit as a w…
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Mar 14, 2021
Jeanette von Grabe on child-centered mediation
Conflict is natural in a divorce, but what happens to the kids in the midst of a brutal divorce battle? Parents are so fixated on “winning” the fight while their children stand on the sidelines confused, frightened and worried. Child-centered mediation can be a win for everyone. A child-centered mediator helps couples develop a collaborative mindset that sets the tone for the rest of the divorce process. Parents meet with the mediator to discuss a tangible, written parenting plan, which is an effective and cost-efficient method of negotiation that can help couples resolve their issues satisfactorily while keeping the needs of the children at the forefront. Do you really want a judge or attorneys deciding when you can see your kids at Christmas or how much time you can spend with them during summer vacation? Jeanette von Grabe, child-centered mediator with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health, discusses the parenting plan process and how it can work for couples uncoupling.
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Mar 7, 2021
Jon Shanahan on Men’s Cosmetics
Approximately 56 percent of men “admit” they use makeup. “Admit” is the key word. There seems to be a taboo associated with men’s cosmetics. Like sex, it’s something we don’t talk about it. But it IS time to talk. During a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, host Joe Kort, PhD, spoke candidly with Jon Shanahan, co-founder of Stryx, a men’s cosmetics company launched two years ago to provide the products men need, but aren’t comfortable saying so. Jon likes to tell everyone that he is straight, married and the father of two children. He immediately wants to announce that men’s cosmetics are for all men because all men need them. The company started when his business partner woke up the morning of his wedding to discover a pimple on his face. His fiancé had spent hundreds of dollars on makeup for that day, but he had nothing to cover up a pimple. Every man has a story like that … the day of a big presentation, a first date … it can throw your game off. The need and de…
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Mar 1, 2021
Ashley Grubbs on Adult NeuroDiverse Relationships
Are you afraid to date someone with autism? Do you feel it will be like having sex with a “robot?” Do you think the sex will be bad and passionless, and your needs will not be met?
Think again.
Neurodiverse relationships can, and do, work. Ashley Grubbs, a licensed professional counselor who practices in Colorado, Texas and Virginia, specializes in neurodiverse couples counseling and knows first-hand that these relationships can be everything a partner is looking for. She is happily married to a man on the autism spectrum. Just because the neurodiverse brain works differently, doesn’t mean it is broken, she explains.
The brain processes information differently, which means the person’s view and expectations of sex will be different from their partner’s. Begin the process of understanding how your partner thinks, and what his/her perceptions are regarding sex and intimacy. Start the communication and conversations. Autistic people may have difficulty expressing love or empa…
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Feb 21, 2021
Mahmoud Baydoun on Anal Sex
*Anal sex can be erotic, painfree and fun!*
Anal sex is disgusting, it’s sinful, it’s wrong, it’s only for gay couples, it’s too painful, it won’t be pleasurable. Many individuals do not think of the anus as an erotic zone, but it can be.
In a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Mahmoud Baydoun, a Brazilian psychologist, certified sex therapist and online sex educator, talked about anal sex and how it can be erotic, painless and pleasurable for *all* couples.
Mahmoud, through his thousands of social media communications, finds anal sex is one of the most common subjects people want to know more about. He emphasizes that there should be no guilt, no shame, or no fear of judgment when it comes to choosing anal sex. Your anus is bisexual, he points out, and anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation. What we do in bed has nothing to do with our personality, he adds. It is all about how you want to express your sexual needs. You do not need a penis and vagina for stimulatio…
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Feb 16, 2021
Clinton Powers on the silent suffering of gay men
It may sound crazy, but gay men are lonely. Most of us think they are happy and lead a life filled with love, but this isn’t even close to the truth. Loneliness in gay men is reaching epidemic proportions.
In this episode entitled “Gay men and loneliness,” host Joe Kort, PhD, psychotherapist and certified sex therapist, talked with an expert on the subject – Clinton Power – a relationship therapist based in Sydney, Australia, who specializes in couples therapy and relationship challenges. In 2003, he founded Sydney Gay Counselling to support the mental health and wellbeing of LGBTQ singles and couples. From working extensively with same sex couples, Clinton has found that gay men cannot find their niche in the gay community, and those in the community are not making it easy to break down barriers. In fact, this in-group discrimination can be evil and devastating. Gay men need face-to-face socialization, however, the gay packs are hard to penetrate.
Gay men struggle with bei…
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Feb 8, 2021
Barry McCarthy on Rekindling Desire
Bad sex can destroy a loving relationship, but good sex cannot save a bad relationship. In this episode, Joe Kort speaks with guest Barry McCarthy, PhD, a clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist and author of 14 books and 100 professional articles on sexuality. The topic: rekindling desire.
Although sex should be a positive experience for couples, it often is not, Barry finds. Conflict, avoidance, lack of spontaneity, and not knowing each other’s expectations or sexual style all contribute to a power struggle that can ruin the sexual experience and the relationship. Sex is not a pass or fail experience, he explains. Men feel they “pass” if they have an erection, and women feel they “pass” if they have an orgasm. If this doesn’t happen, they believe the sexual encounter “failed.”
Too often, they think it is intercourse or nothing. They need to talk openly about sex, what they like, what pleasures them, and learn their sexual style. Shame, embarrassment, resentme…
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Feb 1, 2021
Richard Sprott on Kinky sex and self-exploration: exploring gender and sexual identities
In this episode, host and certified sex therapist Joe Kort, PhD, talked with Richard Sprott, PhD, about kinky sex and self-exploration. Dr. Sprott is directing a research project that looks at social saturation, the postmodern self, and identity development. He has conducted extensive research on alternative sexualities and non-traditional relationships with a special emphasis on kink/BDSM sexuality, and polyamory or consensual non-monogamy. Dr. Sprott finds that the field of kink has really exploded over the past few years as more and more people are exploring it as a way to express their sexuality. Kink is considered the umbrella under which you will find power, internal sensations, sensation play, role play, and exploring your own erotic landscape.
Kink often is thought of as the extreme sport of sex. People do something and push it a little further than they normally would; they are looking for a different kind of intense sensation. In the realm of sexuality, kink and personal gro…
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Jan 25, 2021
Roz Gould Keith on Erasing the stigma surrounding transgender identities
When originally confronted with the news that her daughter was going to transition, Roz admits she was clueless about what this meant for her child. The word transgender wasn’t even part of her vocabulary. What she did know was this was not a phase. Now, as her son, Hunter was going through something really big that would change the course of his life, and she was going to do everything she could to help him. That’s when Roz started her own research to find resources for Hunter and was approached to share her story.
The floodgates opened. Parents came out of the woodwork to talk; they felt their children were all alone in this journey, and they had nowhere and no one to turn to for advice until Roz unlocked a huge door of opportunities for these kids.
*Telling the world you have a different gender identity than the one assigned at birth can seem an impossible task.
*
In this Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast, Joe Kort, PhD, psychotherapist, certified sex therapist and clinical direct…
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Jan 17, 2021
George Khamis on It’s Time to be the Author of Your Own Story
Are you surviving or thriving during this global pandemic? Are you living your best life right now? How are you responding to so many unforeseen changes? During the pandemic, many of us are facing unique challenges that test our resilience. George Khamis, therapist with The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, discussed this subject on a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast hosted by Joe Kort, PhD, psychotherapist and clinical director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health. Today, stress and anxiety can seem overwhelming and people are struggling to cope, but we can build resilience, we can bounce back, and we can thrive, not merely survive. In this podcast entitled, “Surviving to thriving in a global pandemic: how do you live your best life in this new normal,” George shares some insights and advice to help you take care of yourself and find balance and harmony in your life again. He believes it is time for people to be the author of your own story…
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Jan 11, 2021
Finn Deerhart on How do you Begin to Uncover your Erotic Identity?
Sex can, and should, be an access point to an immense internal world. In healing our connections to ourselves and others, we uncover a powerful way of being in our bodies, our relationships, and our lives. Finn Deerhart, sex counselor, coach, Tantra facilitator and public speaker, discussed this subject during a Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast featuring host Joe Kort, PhD, psychotherapist, certified sex therapist and clinical director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan.
The challenge today for many individuals is what to do when you notice that your behaviors are not sexually aligning with how you feel inside; your internal life is not matching your external life. As a practitioner with the Queer Couples Center in San Francisco, California, Finn works with individuals and couples, offering coaching and counseling on sex and intimacy, as well as helping queer men find meaning in eroticism to create a sense of loving with other men. The process of unra…
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Jan 4, 2021
Scott McCarty on Why are men stigmatized and women fetishized when it comes to maintaining appearance?
Recently I’ve been posting videos on TikTok about many different mental and sexual health topics, and the response has been surprisingly overwhelming … unfortunately. I was shocked that some were not listening to my messages; they were shaming me and personally attacking me because I wear a hair piece. This Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast is dedicated to a discussion, not just about men choosing to wear hair pieces, but about the double standards around maintaining and improving your appearance.
Men are attacked, humiliated and emasculated because we want to look attractive, we want to feel sexy, and we want to feel good about ourselves. If wearing a hair piece can do this for some of us, why are others trying to humiliate us and challenge our masculinity? Scott McCarty from Shear Pointe Hair Restoration Center in Birmingham, Michigan, joined me on my podcast to talk about how a hair loss solution truly can change a man’s life; why men deserve to feel attractive too and feel good…
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Dec 28, 2020
Dr. Holly Richmond on How the Latest Innovations in Sex Tech are Transforming the Way we Mate, Relate and Masturbate
On this week’s show, Joe is delving into the world of sex tech with his guest, Dr. Holly Richmond.
They chat about how the latest innovations in sex tech are transforming the way we mate, relate, and masturbate. “Sex tech is redefining how we have sex,” says Holly. “It’s not heteronormative penis/vagina sex anymore these days.”
Dr. Holly is a Somatic Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She says Millennials are having less sex than any generation in recorded history and talks about how technology has played a role in this. “The younger generation are making more informed choices with their sex lives. Sex tech is *not *the great divider!” says Holly. “You can use your tech to enhance your sex life. Be prepared, sex tech is coming, (pun intended!) so have an open mind about it!”
*Find Holly at:*
www.drhollyrichmond.com. www.next-sex.com.
IG, FB and Twitter: @DrHollyRichmond
*Holly’s book*: Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-…
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Dec 21, 2020
Hayden Dawes on racism, self-compassion, and radical permission
On this week’s show, Joe is joined by Hayden Dawes, LCSW, LCAS, to talk about racism, self-compassion, and radical permission.
Hayden, who describes himself as a Compassion Warrior, Social Worker, Mental Health & Intersectionality Therapist, believes radical permission is a powerful practice that is life-changing.
His work examines the psychosocial challenges impacting people of color and LGBTQIA+ individuals, and he believes we have to see that race operates and permeates through many of our social systems, often leading Black people to be at a disadvantage. “Racism is such an ordinary thing in America, we often don’t even notice it!” says Hayden.
Hayden and Joe discuss why self-compassion and radical permission is important for all of us. “Self-compassion slows us down,” says Hayden. “It is a better platform for us to do better work. And radical permission is a permission slip to help you move forward.”
For more information about Hayden Dawes and his work, please…
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Dec 14, 2020
Peter Bippus on Difficult Topics Around Male Sexual Assault
On this episode Joe meets Marriage & Family Therapist, Peter Bippus to talk about survivors of male sexual assault.
Having worked with a host of populations from inmates awaiting trial, to families coming to terms with their transitioning children, to survivors of domestic abuse, Peter is not one to shy away from difficult topics.
He hosts a monthly online group for male survivors of sexual assault where he offers a safe space for its members to share, support and grow.
Talking about male sexual assault is difficult. “Men are not supposed to be the victims,” says Peter. “It’s difficult for men to separate the assault from the assaulter. But it is possible for them to move on with education and a secure place to ask questions.”
You have to delve deep to recover, believes Peter, else “it’s like piloting a plane, without going into the cockpit.”
For more information about Peter Bippus and his work, please visit his website, peterbtherapy.com.
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Dec 7, 2020
Shadeen Francis on The Transformative Power of Pleasure
“Pleasure is about the experience of feeling good,” say’s today’s guest, licensed psychotherapist, media personality and author, Shadeen Francis. “Pleasure is hardwired into our nervous system!”
Known for her signature brand of warmth and humor, all of Shadeen’s work is inspired by her commitment to helping people live lives full of peace and pleasure. In this episode, Joe and Shadeen discuss the transformative power of pleasure. And how we can increase assets like pleasure in our lives.
Beyond orgasms and sex, Shadeen believes pleasure is a very necessary part of our wellbeing and that we need to make more room for it. “We march for the wage gap,” she says. “but we don’t march for the orgasm gap!”
For more information about Shadeen Francis and her work, please visit her website, shadeenfrancis.com.
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Nov 30, 2020
Charon Normand-Widmer on Somatic Psychotherapy and Sex Therapy
On this episode, Joe is talking about somatic psychotherapy and how it relates to sex therapy, with Licensed Master Clinical Social Worker, Charon Normand-Widmer.
Charon practices at The Center for Relationships and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. She specializes in working with individuals seeking support navigating erotic, gender and sexual identity challenges; alternative relationships; and trauma, utilizing a strengths-based, psychodynamic, mindfulness-based approach. Charon uses Somatic therapy seeks to help individuals learn to self-regulate, “I teach clients how to track their own bodies.”
But what is somatic psychotherapy? And how is this therapy helpful for couples and individuals? Charon believes that our bodies hold to the key to our mental sexual stance. “How embodied are you?” she asks. “We withhold things in our physical body. Anxiety is a body memory of a time that we felt useless. You have issues in your tissues. So, asking yourself how ‘IN’ body y…
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Nov 23, 2020
Brian McNaught on Intimacy and LGBTQ older adults
On today’s show, Joe is joined by certified AASECT sexuality educator, presenter and author, Brian McNaught, to chat about Intimacy and LGBTQ older adults.
Forty percent of Americans age 65 to 80 are sexually active. Before the COVID containment, sexually transmitted infections were on the rise in nursing homes. Even if they’re unable to perform sexually, most older people never lose their desire for intimacy, in whatever form it might take. “Regardless of how their bodies look on the outside, inside they feel young and want intimacy,” says Brian.
Named “the godfather of gay diversity training” by The New York Times, Brian McNaught is considered one of the world’s leading corporate diversity consultants dealing with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer issues in the workplace. He is also the author of seven books on LGBT issues.
When services are created for LGBTQ older adults, we think about their physical and emotional health. Does it occur to us, though, t…
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Nov 16, 2020
Bradley Birkholz and Jason Villarreal on ‘Side Guys’ – Gay Men Who Enjoy Sex Without Anal Penetration
On this episode, Joe is talking about ‘Side Guys’ *– *Gay Men Who Enjoy Sex Without Anal Penetration with YouTuber, LGBTQ+ activist, and writer, Bradley Birkholz and Latino nurse practitioner, Jason Villarreal.
Gay men are constantly referring to and defining themselves as “tops”, “bottoms”, “Verse”, Top Verse, Bottom Verse”. When they consider dating or simply hooking up, gay men typically ask the other guy what he is, as it relates to anal sex.
Gay men are rigidly defined by penetrative sex. There’s so much talk and discussion about who gives and who receives. I’ve had straight people tell me that they assumed that most gay guys simply take turns. Yes, some do, but some don’t. But what if a guy isn’t a top, a bottom or even versatile? What about gay men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever? What if they tried it and didn’t enjoy it and never do it again?
Joe thinks they deserve a name of their own. He coined the phrase, “sides.”…
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Nov 9, 2020
Michael Vigorito on Out-of-Control Sexual Behavior
“There’s no such thing as an eroticectomy! People want to be sexual, but they don’t want to feel shame about it,” says this week’s guest, Michael Vigorito. “So, we (therapists) are not un-wiring the sexual gas pedal with our clients. We are working on how to *manage* it.”
On this episode, Joe chats about the out-of-control sexual behavior model, with licensed marriage and sex therapist, Michael Vigorito – Co-author of ‘Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Rethinking Sex Addiction.’
The truth is, that in trainings for sex addiction treatment, there lacks a mandatory sexual health and sex therapy component. Without a sexually informed model, it is easy for therapists to pathologize sexual behaviors and not provide effective treatment. The term ‘sex addiction’ is thrown around like confetti, and that needs to stop!
“We need to walk through these moments of being ‘ping-ed’ by your desire,” says Michael, and not stand in judgement of one’s sexual…
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Nov 2, 2020
Dr. Joe Kort on My Online Romance Fraud Hell!
Today’s episode is a topic very personal to Joe and close to his heart: Online Romance Scamming.
Millions of people turn to online dating apps or social networking sites to meet someone. But instead of finding romance, many find a scammer trying to trick them into sending money. And Joe knows *exactly* how that feels, because he too is a victim of romance fraud hell!
About 10 years ago, Joe got a very curious message.
It was from a woman who said she was in love with a person who had been using photographs Joe had posted over the years of himself and his nephews and nieces (who were minors at the time). Although they gave a different name, they were using Joe’s images in an effort to scam their way into people’s hearts. “Would you be willing to talk to me?” this woman asked. She wanted to process what had happened to her and felt a connection to him since all of the pictures of Joe were stolen from his social media accounts. Joe said he was a therapist, a happily married g…
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Oct 26, 2020
Renelle E Nelson on Infidelity & Betrayal
On this episode Joe is chatting about Infidelity with licensed marriage & family therapist, and certified sex therapist, Renelle E Nelson.
Relationships are sometimes complicated and finding out your partner is cheating on you can be devastating. It can feel like the relationship is over and nothing can be done to save it. The truth is, current studies show that recovery from infidelity can happen successfully, and your relationship will be better than ever on the other side.
Renelle, who works in Arizona, is an infidelity/intimacy recovery strategist, and believes we need to take responsibility for our feelings. “Often we want the person that hurt us, to heal us,” she says. “But you’re hiding in your righteousness. Couples don’t grow apart, they stop communicating. You can’t assume monogamy. Couples need to discuss what they want in their relationship, because infidelity breeds in darkness. Cheating is a choice. Never assume. Discuss!”
So, how do you deal with, and re…
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Oct 19, 2020
Dr. Anna Randall on What Do I Need to Know to Have a Successful Kinky Relationship?
October is National Kink Month and on this episode, Joe is joined by San Francisco Bay sex therapist, TASHRA Exec Director, and published researcher, Dr. Anna Randall, to chat about all things kink.
Anna thinks we are far more sexually explorative than we’d often like to admit, and that you are not alone, or ‘weird,’ if you want to have a kinky relationship! “You can’t pull the kink out of a person,” says Anna.
People with kinky fantasies often feel highly stigmatized too. So, Joe and Anna delve into why it is so hard for some people to share their kinky side…
Find Dr. Randall at:
Website | Facebook
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Oct 12, 2020
Dr. Hani Miletski on Mother-Son Incest
On this first episode of Season Two,* *Joe is joined by psychotherapist and author, Dr. Hani Miletski.
Hani is located in Bethesda, Maryland, with her private practice. She has trained and supervised therapists and professionals in the field of human sexuality throughout the world. Plus, she is the author of two books, including the clinically revered, Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo Persists. On this show, Joe and Hani discuss one of the most taboo sexual subjects out there; mother-son incest.
As Joe says, “When a man sexually abuses it’s more overt. But when a woman does it, particularly a mother, it’s more covert.” Hani agrees, and goes on to point out that most mother-son incest perpetrators tend to be, “very needy women.” Despite society’s denial of it, mother-son incest does happen, but most people don’t want to think about it, talk about it, or do anything about it. Let’s find out why….
Find Dr. Hani Miletski at:* *
*www.DrMiletski.com*
M…
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Jun 15, 2020
Leyla Gulcur on Multicultural and Cross-cultural Relationship & Sex Therapy
On this episode, Joe’s chatting about multicultural and cross-cultural relationship and sex therapy, with Dr. Leyla Gulcur.
Leyla is a licensed psychologist trained in the United States and provides multicultural sex and relationship therapy to culturally diverse clients around the globe. She has lived, worked, and traveled extensively in North America, Europe, the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia. Leyla is originally from Turkey and conducts sessions in both English and Turkish.
In addition to her clinical practice, Leyla has worked to strengthen sexual rights worldwide, particularly in Asia and the Middle East. She is the co-founder of the Turkish NGO Women for Women’s Human Rights. Leyla believes therapists need to be explicit about the role their own cultural background plays in the therapy they give. “Therapists really need to be explicit about that,” says Leyla, “Otherwise it can prevent you serving your client well.”
Find Leyla at:
Website
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Jun 8, 2020
Kate Anthony on Should I Stay, or Should I go?
This week Joe’s guest is Kate Anthony. Kate is the host of the critically acclaimed podcast ‘The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast,’ and the creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience and deep self-work. She’s widely known as an expert in co-parenting and divorce.
Based in Los Angeles, Kate talks about saving or splitting from your relationship and asking yourself the hardest question of all, ‘should I stay, or should I go?’ “People often make the mistake of thinking one unhappy home is better for their kids than two separate homes,” says Kate. “But it’s better to have your children in a happy environment 50 percent of the time, than be in a toxic home 100 percent of their time. You have to ask yourself, ‘Do I want to put my kids in the middle of my divorce, or at the center of it?’ If yo…
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Jun 1, 2020
Eleni Economides on How to Talk to Your Teen About Masturbation
On this episode, Joe is joined by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Eleni Economides.
Eleni is located in Rochester NY where her work focuses on helping her clients address concerns around sexuality and relationships. On this show, Joe and Eleni discuss how best to talk to your teenagers about masturbation.
As Eleni says, masturbation is a healthy milestone for our teens and is a very normal part of our sexual development. Teaching them to do it right (as an act of self-love, body awareness and self-soothing) is a gift that will serve them for life. “Don’t underestimate your influence as a parent on your teenager,” says Eleni. “Yes, masturbation is a difficult subject to talk to your kids about. But, be brave and *guide* them!”
Find Eleni Economides at:
Website
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May 25, 2020
Meagan Narvaez on Mindful Sex
Today Joe is joined by Sex Coach and host of, ‘The Sex And…’ podcast, Meagan Narvaez and they’re chatting about how to connect to our body’s wants and needs, in order to stay more present during sex, whether solo or with partner(s). Meagan is a queer Latinex therapeutic sex and relationship coach, currently living in Atlanta, Georgia. She helps clients explore their sexual and mental blocks, so they can have fulfilling, orgasmic, thrilling, and gratifying sex.
“Sex is a skill set,” says Meagan, “And most of us have many obstacles that prevent us from tapping into those skills. I help people take control of their sex lives.” Joe and Meagan talk about how mindful sex can help you be more satisfied in bed, plus, and more importantly, love yourself more wholeheartedly. This episode is all about sex positivity!
Find Meagan Narvaez at:
Website | Podcast | Facebook
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May 18, 2020
Cathy Saputo on Menopause/Perimenopause , Relationships & Sexual Health
This week, Joe is joined by Certified Sex Therapist, Cathy Saputo, from Saputo Counseling Services, and they’re chatting about perimenopause, menopause, relationships and sexual intimacy.
Cathy wants people to know that perimenopause and menopause, does *not* have to be a negative experience. Sure, it can be challenging, especially when we are not informed, but it *can be* managed! We need to make it less of a taboo subject and more of a health conversation.
Cathy aims to normalize this change of life and talk openly about it! She says this part of a woman’s growth can be sexually satisfying and does not need to be feared. Joe and Cathy talk about what ‘midlife crisis’ can mean to both women, and their partners, how to still be sexually active with the best lubes out there, and everything in-between!This episode is sponsored by
LetsGetChecked – a fast, affordable, and always confidential, at-home male hormone test kit. New LetsGetChecked customers get 20% off by using our…
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May 11, 2020
‘Reasons Why I’m Single’ girls, Chelsie & Staci, on Relationship Killers & How to Navigate Them
This week, Joe’s guests are co-hosts Chelsie & Staci from the comedy lifestyle podcast, “Reasons Why I’m Single” – a hilarious show revealing the struggles two 30 something Metro Detroiters have dating.
These girls pride themselves on being open books! ‘Reasons Why I’m Single’ discusses the ups and downs (hint: mostly “downs”) and mayhem that ensues in the world of dating today. The girls join Joe to talk all things, ‘Relationship Killers,’ – what to look out for, how to navigate the bad stuff, and how to deal with baggage from previous relationship experiences, to be able to move on in love. As Chelsie says, “You don’t want your relationship to feel like a *job*! You need to find a partner that helps you put on your clothes after sex, as well as taking them off you beforehand!”
The girls believe that, in the long run, trust and communication with your partner will be more successful, than a bunch of luggage from failed matches. Plus, they advise datin…
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May 4, 2020
Amber Boone on Dating Rules for Realists, Not Romantics.
This week, Joe’s guest is host of the ‘Thirty, Flirty and Thriving’ Podcast, Amber Boone.
Last year, Amber, along with her business partner, hosted the first ever ‘9 to Thrive’ women’s empowerment conference in downtown Detroit. She is a frequent speaker at industry events and has a lot to say on the use of social media, especially dating apps and what *real* romance is like today. “Instead of looking to find the right partner, become the right partner yourself!” says Amber. “Your self-care comes first.”
Amber spills the beans about modern dating expectations and how to navigate them. Plus, we chat about the differences between dating in your 20s versus your 30s. Amber’s top dating tip? “Have a wise counsel around you – it really, really helps!”
Find Amber Boone at:
Website | Podcast | Facebook
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Apr 27, 2020
Dr. Megan Fleming on Prioritizing Sexy Self-Care Time as a Parent
On this episode, Joe explores how to prioritize self-care time as a parent, with his guest, Dr. Megan Fleming. Dr Megan is a nationally recognized, certified sex & relationships expert, with over 20 years experience with individuals and couples, teaching them skills and strategies to get the sex & relationships they really want. As the resident sex expert on the ‘Girl Boner’ podcast, Dr. Fleming believes coming into our sexual being, is what allows us to thrive and feel fully alive. She says, “Sexuality is vitality!”
But, finding time for self-care and sex as a parent, is tough. Even more so now, during Covid-19. “Self-care is challenging under the best of times,” says Dr. Fleming. “Today, (with quarantine) we are in unprecedented times. The first thing people should do is give themselves a big pat on the back!” She goes on to say, “There’s a reason they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first on an airplane – when we take time for our own self-care, we…
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Apr 20, 2020
Dr. Lee Phillips on Sex Therapy and Chronic Illnesses & Disabilities
This week Joe meets Dr. Lee Phillips. Dr. Phillips is in private practice in Washington, DC where he treats clients with chronic illness and sexual dysfunction. Author of the book, ‘Sex & Love When You Are Sick?’, Lee, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, also lectures on topics including sexuality, anxiety & stress management, caregiving stress, depression in the elderly, mindfulness and cognitive strategies for chronic pain.
Dr Phillips wants to crush the myth that people with chronic illness and other disabilities are not sexual. Also, today, during Covid-19 many are dealing with anticipatory grief as well, and that plays into our sex lives too. “People are very scared about what the future holds,” says Dr. Phillips. “Right now as a world, we’re in fear about what’s going to happen to us, and that can also make having a sex life difficult.”
But, despite this, Lee believes that couples can overcome shame, and sexual limitations caused by illness, (or Covid fear) to re…
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Apr 13, 2020
Dr. Jennifer Berman on Female Urology & Sexual Health
On this episode, Joe is joined by world renowned expert, New York times bestselling author and one of the nation’s leading authorities in the field of female sexual health, Dr. Jennifer Berman. Jennifer and Joe discuss female urology and sexual health. Dr Berman believes that sexual health for women is a critical component of good general health. As one of only a few female urologists in the United States, she’s considered America’s leading expert on women’s sexual health issues.
Dr. Berman says sexual health issues are often sensitive topics for people to discuss and most people don’t realize that there’s a world of help available to them. “Women are much more complicated and multifaceted than men,” says Dr. Berman. “When it comes to sex, when sexual issues crop up, it’s almost like death, like an aspect of you dies. There’s a lot of shame and a lot of guilt. When women do eventually seek sexual health help, it’s like a seed of hope is planted.”
Find Dr. Be…
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Apr 6, 2020
Liz Reed on Toxic Relationships & How to Avoid Toxic Love
This week Joe‘s guest is Clinical Social Worker, Therapist & host of the ‘Liz Life Guru’ podcast, Liz Reed. Liz joins Joe to talk all things Toxic Relationships & How to Avoid Toxic Love.
“You deserve to be happy,” says Liz. “In order to make that happen you have to choose a good tribe!” Liz, a psychotherapist with a passion for helping people change their lives, specializes in anxiety, depression, addiction, as well as family issues. “Often, we think that since we share a bond with family, a DNA with them, that they are the people that we need to be with, no matter what they say or do to us, or how they make us feel. That just simply isn’t true. You can find a fabulous family, a fabulous tribe of people from perfect strangers as long as you are looking for the right people, says Liz. “Toxic people in our lives are energy vampires! They destroy our energy. They’re abusive, unsupportive, unhealthy and emotionally negative to us. And we just really don’t realize…
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Mar 30, 2020
David Phillips on Toxic Masculinity
This week Joe’s guest is the founder of IT in the D & Podcast Detroit, David Phillips. Dave joins Joe to talk all things Toxic Masculinity. “Many, many guys are *not** *cavemen!” says Dave. Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood. It’s the cultural idea of manliness, where strength is everything, while emotions are a weakness. “As a guy, you’re seen as weak if you go see a therapist,” says Dave. “Men are told they shouldn’t express emotion or admit they feel vulnerable. That’s so wrong! You gotta be the guy friend who’s willing to speak up to kick toxic masculinity.”
Find Dave at:
IT In the D | Podcast Detroit
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Mar 23, 2020
Skip McClatchey on HIV & AIDS
This week, Joe’s guest is Skip McClatchey. Skip works for Wayne State University’s Adult HIV/AIDS program and is on the show to discuss how HIV stigma is unwarranted, and helps nobody. Skip began his HIV work as a volunteer with the Wellness project in Ferndale, Michigan, back in the early 90s during the peak rise of incidences.
“It’s not people that are problematic,” says Skip. “It’s the behaviors! HIV is a disease that anybody that has ever had unprotected sex is at risk for.” Skip believes HIV is very treatable, regardless of income or insurance status in Michigan. “Everybody needs to be tested. If infected, get treatment, if unaffected, prevention is available. Too many people equate sexuality with intimacy. I say, ‘safer sex’ not, ‘safe sex!’”
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Mar 19, 2020
Kim Stephens on Non-Panic Ways to Respond to Covid-19 – Managing Coronavirus Anxiety: Facts not Fiction!
Covid-19 has given us all cause for concern. This pandemic unfolding all over the world can be stressful for so many people. Fear, anxiety and being told to, “socially distance’ yourself can be overwhelming and very scary. On this special episode, Kim Stephens, who is at the frontlines of Covid & stress management for her physicians as a Registered Nurse & Director of Clinical Operations for a Third Gen Health Group in Michigan, joins me to talk about non-panic ways we can respond to the Coronavirus.
Plus, why “physical distancing” is a better term than “social distancing.” We have to stay socially connected through this. Community building, togetherness and emotional connections via electronic devices is imperative for our mental health!
Learn more about the signs and what you should do if you believe you may have Covid-19 at the CDC website, HERE
Telehealth is available through our office at CRSH.com. Call us to learn more 248-399-7447
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Mar 16, 2020
Mistress Lexi on What It’s REALLY like to be a Female Domme
On this episode, Joe’s guest is Mistress Lexi – a popular domme in the adult fetish scene right now. Joe and Lexi go right under the covers of her world, talking about the nitty gritty of working in the online kink industry. They chat about Sissification, Cock & Ball Torture, Findom, Hypnosis, and Chastity. Plus, how exactly did Lexi, known as, ‘Domme of the Dead’, become involved in this scene, and what drives her customers to hand over their cash to dommes?
“People come to me online because they need an outlet,” says Lexi. “They don’t have their needs covered in their vanilla life. You can’t walk around in society seeking extreme domination – you need a safe community to go play. That’s what I and others like me provide. A safe outlet for kinks.”
Connect with Mistress Lexi:
Twitter
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Mar 9, 2020
Rachel Keller on Sex & Faith
On this week’s episode, Joe chats about Sex & Faith with Licensed Clinical Social Worker, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and author, Rachel Keller. Rachel grew up in the conservative Christian church and experienced both the positives and negatives of that culture. Today, she is passionate about helping others find sexual freedom, a sex positive Christianity, wholeness and empowerment. So passionate about sex and faith, she has co-authored a book called, Advancing Sexual Health for the Christian Client: Data and Dogma.
Rachel asks, “Why would God create our bodies with so many pleasure nerve endings if He/She didn’t want us to use them?”
Connect with Rachel Keller:
Website
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Mar 2, 2020
Amanda Luterman on Erotic Empathy
On this episode Joe chats about Erotic Empathy with psychotherapist and founder for the Center for Erotic Empathy, Amanda Luterman. Amanda, who works in private practice in Montreal, Canada, believes eroticism within a couple’s relationship is very important. Her clinical work focuses on prioritizing a couple’s connection with empathy; an approach and skill set she has developed called, ‘Erotic Empathy.’
“You need to accept your partner can view you in a light that you may not see yourself,” says Amanda. “We need to validate and include the unique experience of the person that is right in front of you and be more present for sex. Then you can more easily be your authentic sexual selves.”
Check out Amanda’s workshop on Erotic Empathy on the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes Website HERE!
Connect with Amanda Luterman:
Website | Workshop | Facebook
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Feb 24, 2020
Dr. Mimi Hoang on Bisexuality, Pansexuality, Asexuality & Sexual Fluidity
This week Joe welcomes Dr. Mimi Hoang onto the show. Mimi is a nationally-recognized psychologist, educator, author, and activist specializing in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, LGBTQ+ and Asian Pacific Islander communities.
They talk about bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality and sexual fluidity; the myths, the definitions, the disparities and the ways to become more bi-affirmative.
Dr. Mimi’s steadfast leadership has earned her multiple awards, and she’s been named ‘One of the Most Significant Women in the Bisexual Movement.’ She currently works at Loyola Marymount University, LA, and is the creator of the ‘Bi on Life’ self-empowerment series. “People have very different ways to define themselves these days,” says Mimi.
Connect with Dr. Mimi Hoang:
Website | Facebook
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Feb 17, 2020
Mark Sing on 2020 Dating Trends & NLP
This week Joe meets Mark Sing, a world-renowned dating coach and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. Mark and Joe chat about the latest crazy dating trends, such as ‘Fleabagging’ and White-Clawing,’ plus, they explore why it is that some men just aren’t having any successful dates. “Women are designed to weed out self-depreciation,” says Mark. “I’m here to re-program that out of men.” He believes that some men aren’t getting favorable dates because of what’s going on inside their heads, “I aim to rewire their brains so that they can be a GO-GIVER on the dating scene!”
Connect with Mark Sing:
Podcast | Website
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Feb 5, 2020
Dr. Stephanie Buehler on Sex After Cancer
On this episode Joe tackles the tricky subject of sex after cancer with Dr. Stephanie Buehler. There’s no way around it, having cancer sucks, but, Stephanie, a licensed psychologist and AASECT– certified sex therapist, believes that although talking sex and cancer in the same breath is awkward, we must remember that still being able to have a sex life is very important to cancer survivors. “One’s sexual script may have changed since having cancer,” says Stephanie. “But, human beings are very inventive, and if you can change the way you think about sex and go back to basics, beginning slowly with non-demand touch, you can successfully reset your sex life.”
Connect with Dr. Stephanie Buehler:
Website | Twitter
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Feb 3, 2020
Bianca Laureano on Social Justice Education
On this week’s episode, Joe chats about Social Justice Education with Bianca I Laureano. Bianca is an award-winning educator, curriculum writer, and sexologist. She is a founding member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN) and The LatiNegrxs Project.
Together, they discuss why racial justice is an important topic in the sexuality field, and why intersectionality is so important for us to understand. “It’s not about being right, it’s about being understood,” says Bianca.
Connect with Bianca I Laureano:
Website | Facebook
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Feb 3, 2020
Bianca Laureano on Social Justice Education
On this week’s episode, Joe chats about Social Justice Education with Bianca I Laureano. Bianca is an award-winning educator, curriculum writer, and sexologist. She is a founding member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN) and The LatiNegrxs Project.
Together, they discuss why racial justice is an important topic in the sexuality field, and why intersectionality is so important for us to understand. “It’s not about being right, it’s about being understood,” says Bianca.
Connect with Bianca I Laureano:
Website | Facebook
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Jan 27, 2020
L.A. Jamison on Reparative Therapy – Sexual Conversion Attempts
This week Joe discusses the controversial world of Reparative Therapy, which is sexual conversion attempts to turn people from gay to straight. His guest is Larry Jamison, a writer, educator and activist, who has spent ten years exploring ex-gay ministry and reparative therapy. Larry wants people to understand why someone might choose to do sexual conversion therapy and that it’s not about ‘crazy’ people, but very vulnerable people trying to get help. “There’s nothing good about going to war with your sexuality,” says Larry.
Connect with L.A. Jamison:
Website
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Jan 20, 2020
Ruby Ryder on Pegging
For those who don’t know, Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating his anus with a strap-on dildo. It’s anal sex reversed. My guest this week is Ruby Ryder of PeggingParadise.com and Pegging101.com. Ruby is a podcaster, blogger, sex educator and a published writer of erotic fiction who wants to normalize the concept of pegging. “I’m a shamebuster!” she says. “Society doesn’t let men be vulnerable, always putting guys in the ‘man box’. Pegging allows a man to explore their vulnerability, and I’m the fairy godmother of strap-on f***ing!”
Connect with Ruby Ryder:
Website | Twitter
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Jan 13, 2020
Silva Neves on Helping Clients Recover from the Trauma of ‘Sex Addiction’ Treatments
This week Joe chats with psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist, Silva Neves. Together they explore how therapists help clients recover from the trauma of sex addiction treatments. Silva, who works in his private clinic in Central London, UK, believes the ‘traditional’ sex addiction therapy model should be banned. ”Sex addiction therapy is so harmful,” he says. ”It’s a modern day version of conversion therapy for one’s erotic interest, and a ‘one size fits all’ treatment doesn’t fit at all!”
Silva tells us about alternative treatments for compulsive sexual behaviors that, in his view, are far more effective than ‘traditional’ sex addiction therapies.
Want to read more on this topic, read Dr. Kort’s article entitled: “Recovering from Sex Addiction Treatment” on PsychologyToday.com.
Connect with Silva Neves:
Website | Twitter
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Jan 6, 2020
Judas and Jess on Online Findom Part Two
Did you know that Online Findom is when a submissive person feels aroused as he opens his wallet to his Dom? Listen here to Part Two of Joe’s chat with Findom Master Judas and Findom Dom Jess as they discuss what it’s really like having a submissive spin the ‘Cash Wheel’. “To a degree, I would consider myself a sex worker,” says Judas. “Even if there is no sex involved. Everything I do is consensual, even if I rape their wallets.”
Want to read more on the topic? *Check out my article on Psychology Today: http://bit.ly/2MIsw8E*
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Dec 30, 2019
Judas Khrist on Online Findom Part One
This week Joe explores Online Findom. There’s so much to say about consensual human ATM kink transactions, that we have a two-part special on this subject. In this show, Part One, we chat to Judas, AKA ‘Demon Daddy’ from Portugal, who explains that in prostitution, money is for sex. In Findom, money *IS *the sex! And Judas has found there to be no end of people who long to be dominated, humiliated and relieved of their cash for sexual kicks….
Want to read more on the topic? *Check out my article on Psychology Today: http://bit.ly/2MIsw8E*
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Dec 23, 2019
Jared Boot on Asexuality
This week’s show is about Asexuality. Did you know only about one percent of the population identifies as asexual? My guest, Jared Boot, explains what an isolating experience this can be. Jared, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at the Michigan School of Psychology, has a passion for asexual inclusion, diversity and equity. “How people talked about homophobia in the sixties, is how people talk about asexuality today,” says Jared. He believes it needs to be more in today’s public consciousness, and he’s here to chat about how we can make that change.
Connect with Jared Boot:
Website
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Dec 16, 2019
Neil Cannon on Kinks
This week we talk all things Kink with my guest, sex therapist Dr. Neil Cannon. Neil has been researching, writing about and treating members of the kink community for nearly fifteen years. He believes kink is nothing to feel any shame about. “In sex therapy all roads lead to shame, but clinicians should be there to help clients create a clear understanding of their sexual desires, without shame, says Neil. “We need to give people permission to be themselves sexually – that’s what most people want. To be free!”
Connect with Dr. Neil Cannon:
Website
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Dec 9, 2019
Joan Price on Sex After 50
This week’s guest and I chat about navigating sex after losing your beloved, and about sex as an older person. In the studio with me is Joan Price. Joan* *calls herself an advocate for ageless sexuality. “Desire and Sexuality is ageless,” says Joan. “It just changes over time.” Author of four books about sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved, seventy-six-year-old Joan wants to talk out loud about senior sex!
Connect with Joan Price:
Website | Facebook
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Nov 25, 2019
Jennifer Hurvitz on What You Need To Do To Stay Happily Married From A Divorce Coach Who Knows!
This week’s guest on Smart Love, Smart Sex is bestselling author, podcaster and Certified Divorce & Relationship Coach, Jennifer Hurvitz. Host of the popular, ‘Doing Divorce Right’ podcast, Jennifer (divorced for five years) thinks couples should try super hard to make their marriage work if kids are involved. “Being in love is a choice, not a feeling,” she says. “You choose to show up for that person!” Jennifer says that after her divorce, she was “surprised” that while she doesn’t miss her “Was-bund,” she does miss her family being together more than she thought she would.
She believes that to make a marriage work you have to, “put your ego aside and your kids first!” Hear Joe and Jennifer discuss what a divorce can really look like, and, if your marriage is truly over, how to navigate back into the world of dating.
Connect with Jennifer Hurvitz :
Website | Facebook
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Nov 18, 2019
Rocki Harris on Interracial Relationships & Sex
Why is the black penis more imagined than seen on screen? And, how do we dispel the stigmas about black versus white penis size? These are some of the subjects this week’s podcast delves into. Joe’s guest is Detroiter, Raquelle ‘Rocki‘ Harris – host and producer of Rocki’s Reality Podcast on Motor City Woman Radio. Together they chat all things sex and interracial relationships. “I want to remove the taboo of talking openly about race and sex,” says Rocki.
Connect with Raquelle ‘Rocki ‘ Harris :
Website | Facebook
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Nov 11, 2019
Chris Wilson on Men and Body Image
Men are increasingly concerned about their body ideals, and yet, society generally minimizes these concerns or doesn’t acknowledge them.
We have a society of men who feel unable to speak up about these concerns and often sit with it, which causes them to have emotional distress which can result in depression, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and health issues related to excessive exercise and rigid food consumption. Listen as Joe and Pennsylvanian therapist Chris Wilson, chat about the emotional distress men can experience with the pressures on them to have the ‘perfect’ body, and how social media and celebrities play their part in men’s body image dysmorphia. For men’s mental health, “we need to break this code of silence men have on talking about their bodies,” says Chris.
Connect with Dr. Wilson:
Website
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Nov 4, 2019
Tina Schermer Sellers on Why Sex Is Better Without Shame
Our sex stories are one of the most important stories one needs to be clear about,” says this week’s guest, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers. Clinical Sexologist, Tina, believes that our sex history is not a cohesive narrative in most of us, but it needs to be to lead a sex life that is free of shame. Hear Joe and Tina discuss how religious sexual shame is the earliest and greatest form of shame, affecting a person’s core belief in their worthiness to be accepted by those who mean the most to them. And how sex and bias education is what equips us to stand up to sexual shame.
Connect with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers:
Website | Facebook
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Oct 28, 2019
Jess and Joe on ‘Side Sex’ and What Anal Sex Means to You
This week Joe meets Jess, a twenty-something woman, who has a lot to say on the subject of enjoying sex without penetration. This episode, all about sex on the side, pegging and anal sex, deals with the subject of what counts as sex with your partner. Does it have to be penetrative to be sex? Do you have to be a top, or a bottom? If you’re a ‘side,’ is it still sex? What if you just like pegging? As Jess says, “If you have an orgasm, it’s sex!”
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Oct 21, 2019
Jacob Rostovsky on Transgender Issues
“When you’re born in the wrong gender, your gender changes, not necessarily your sexuality,” says this week’s guest, transgender activist, Jacob Rostovsky. Jacob, who came out at 13 years old as trans, has been fighting for transgender rights, acceptance and access to affirmative care ever since. Jacob believes there is no one way to be trans, especially when it comes to exploring someone’s transgender and sexual identity. Hear Joe and Jacob talk about trans sex and sexuality – it’s less complicated than you think, and why gender expression is what you go to bed wearing, rather than who you are with.”
Find Jacob Rostovsky on:
Website | Facebook
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Oct 14, 2019
Jo Langford on LGBTQ Youth
“The language kids use these days about sexuality can be exhausting,” says this week’s guest, Jo Langford. “We often have to coax out the meat of what kids are saying, because the landscape of sexuality language and what words mean to them, is changing very fast all the time.” On this episode Joe chats to Jo Langford – therapist, author and sex educator for tweens, teens and parents. His newest book, The Pride Guide, is a guide to sexual and social development, safety and health for queer youth and their families. Jo and Joe talk all things around gender diversity and the needs of trans and non-confirming youth. “We need kids to see they’re represented in the therapists office,” says Jo.
Find Jo Langford on:
Website | Facebook | Twitter
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Oct 11, 2019
Round-Table Chat on Coming Out in honor of National Coming Out Day
Jane, Jared and Nick join Joe for this special episode to chat all things ‘Coming Out.’ Three different guests, all with different experiences of coming out, talk about the highs of finally being able to live their lives authentically, and the lows of the effect coming out had on their families. Each guest has been on a winding journey of self-acceptance to get to where they are today – Jane happily engaged to her fiancée, Jare, who self-identifies as bisexual, firstly coming out as gay, then coming out a second time as demisexual, and Nick, who was born female-bodied, then medically diagnosed as Intersex, and now following a few gender confirmation surgeries, living life as a man. Joe explores their personal stories, and asks, “What was coming out like for you?”
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Oct 11, 2019
Jim Gerardi on Coming Out in honor of National Coming Out Day
“It was more or less common before the 1970s for gay men not to come out to their families,” says this episode’s guest, 81-year-old, author, Jim Gerardi. “If your family knew you were gay, back then, no one said anything and that could go on like that for years!” On this special episode in honor of national Coming Out Day, Joe chats to Jim about his coming out story. Jim tells Joe how he didn’t come out to his parents until he was 39-years-old. What has gay life been like for Jim? What changes has he seen in the community? Jim and Joe chat about all of that, plus what led Jim to write his book, ‘Jerome’, a searing story of two teenage boys and a girl seeking their sexual identities in the 1950s…
Find James Gerardi on:
Facebook | Amazon
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Oct 7, 2019
Dominic Davies on Pink Therapy for LGBTQ & Other Sexual Health Issues
This week’s show addresses the importance of training therapists beyond cultural competency. Just learning the right pronouns is not enough! On this episode, Joe chats to Dominic Davies, a psychotherapist and clinical sexologist in the UK, who has become what some call, the Father of Queer Therapy in England. Dominic and Joe talk about the differences between diversity in the USA and the UK. Plus, why we all need well-trained therapists who truly understand the impact of minority stress towards groups such as LGBTQ and GRSD people. How can we, as therapists, build resilience for them?
Find Dominic Davies on:
Website | Twitter
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Sep 30, 2019
Rachel Needle on Surprising Reasons Sex is Good for Your Health
This week’s guest on Smart Sex, Smart Love is Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Rachel Needle. Together, she and Joe Kort talk about why it is so important for therapists to talk about sex when working with individuals or couples, how our biggest sex organ is our brain, how sex is good for you, and, what couples can do to keep the passion alive in their relationship! Physical intimacy is extremely important in a relationship and it’s good for you! Joe and Rachel get down to the nitty gritty of exactly why sex is good for your health. Plus, they talk Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and the courses and certifications they offer:
* https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/lgbtqia-affirmative-certification
* https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/certification-in-couples-and-sex-therapy
* https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/sex-therapy-certification
Find Rachel Needle on:
Website | Facebook
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Sep 23, 2019
Trey Lyon on Male Sexual Fluidity and Porn
Sometimes there’s just so much to say on a topic, that’s it’s hard to cram it all into one episode. That’s certainly the case with this week’s guest, sex-positive advocate, Trey Lyon. Founder of Fuck Yeah! Friendly Fire – a leading-edge blog source for heteroflexible pornography, Trey’s amassed a quarter of a million followers on his journey towards the de-stigmatization of integrating pornography fully into one’s sexuality. Listen as Joe and Trey delve deeper into what fluid sexuality looks like, and how one can find a life of peaceful sexual self-acceptance, despite what society might balk at. They also chat about males who are heteroflexible and able to be sexual with other men. “Just because someone watches porn regularly, it doesn’t make them an ‘addict,’” says Trey.
Find Trey Lyon on:
Website | Twitter
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Sep 15, 2019
James Wadley on Black Culture and Sex & Sexuality
My guest this week believes black culture and sex and sexuality is a people issue, rather than a race issue. Dr. James Wadley, is an Associate Professor and Chair of the Counseling and Human Services Program at Lincoln University. He is also the founder and editor-In-chief of the Journal of Black Sexuality and Relationships. An expert on sexual diversity and race, James chats to Joe about his mission to bring openness and community to those from all walks of life. Especially those that might have otherwise shied away from getting sexual health help for themselves or their families. Listen to Joe ask, why minority groups tend not to seek out professional help for their sexual issues…
Find James Wadley on:
Facebook | Website
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Sep 9, 2019
Laura McGuire on Consent and the #MeToo Movement
“If you’re not comfortable to ask your partner during sex, “How are you doing? Is what I’m doing OK with you?,” then you’re not ready to have sex!” says this week’s guest, Dr. Laura McGuire. On this episode, Joe chats to Laura McGuire – a nationally recognized sexologist and consultant. Laura’s worked as an instructor, presenter, educator and trainer on topics including, Consent education and Sexual Harassment Prevention. Laura and Joe talk all things consent and the #metoo movement and Laura gives advice on what you should be asking before you hop between the sheets with someone. “You need to have conversations with each other ahead of sex, rather than in the moment when it can be manipulative or make you feel vulnerable,” says Laura.
Find Laura McGuire on:
Facebook | Website
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Aug 30, 2019
Nikki Prause on How Porn and Sex are Different in the Brain
There’s been a lot of noise in the media about porn use, with many doomsayers claiming that it triggers dangerous neurochemical changes in the brain. However, newer research says that just isn’t so. This week Joe talks with American neuroscientist, Nikki Prause, who thinks that porn and sex are totally different in the brain. Hear Nikki explain how her brain research debunks the myth that you can have an addiction to sex or porn. Brain science is hot these days, so listen to Nikki and Joe talk about how rigorous studies have not found sex addiction to be a real dependency, or reflective of any brain-related compulsion issues at all …
Find Nikki Prause on:
Facebook | Twitter
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Aug 26, 2019
Miles Striker on The Most Surprising Things About Being A Kink & Fetish Porn Star
Have you ever wondered what working in the fetish and kink adult movie scene is like? On this week’s episode, Joe meets Miles Striker – one of the most well-known actors in the adult fetish scene right now. Miles and Joe talk about the nitty gritty of the porn industry and Miles gives the lowdown on getting down for the camera. Joe asks, ‘What’s it like acting out scenes involving fetishes like, macrophilia (a fascination with or a sexual fantasy involving giants)?’ And, how exactly did Miles, an Iraq veteran, get into BDSM porn?
Find Miles Striker on:
Facebook | Twitter
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Aug 19, 2019
Dr. Joe Kort on Male Sexual Fluidity
Why would straight identified men have sex with other men? Are they gay, bi or somewhere in between? Do you really understand what sexual fluidity is, or, even means? This week Joe talks about his book, ‘Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A guide for women concerned about their men.’ Men are stigmatized for having one non-heterosexual thought, and women are fetishized for having one. Joe addresses the concerns of worried women who suspect their men are not straight. Listen to Joe help make sense of a confusing situation, plus make sense of ways couples can have sexual health conversations around the topic of sexual interests that don’t match one’s sexual orientation, and remain married, even with a ‘happy ever after’….
Want to find out more? Visit Straightguise.com.
Find Joe Kort on:
Facebook | Website | Amazon
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Aug 15, 2019
Stephanie Sullivan on Polyamory
You’ve heard of polyamory, right? But, do you really understand what a polyamorous relationship looks like? This week Joe chats with Stephanie Sullivan, a polyamory-affirmative therapist to talk all things polyamory. Is it just cheating? Why do some people confuse it with affairs or infidelity? Even while our society has made incredible strides in the legalization of same-sex marriage, the idea that a relationship could include more than two people has remained a taboo—even when one in five Americans claim that they have been in a relationship with more than one person. Hear Joe and Stephanie dispel the polyamory myths. Does it work?” And “How do people make it work?”
Find Stephanie Sullivan on:
Facebook | Website
Find the Webinar HERE!
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Aug 5, 2019
Laurie Mintz on Becoming Cliterate and Bridging the Orgasm Gap
Why is it women say they orgasm far less from penetrative sex with their partner, whereas men say they orgasm nearly every time? And, how unfair is this for women! This week on Smart Sex, Smart Love, Joe chats all things cliterate with Laurie Mintz – champion of bridging the orgasm gap and award winning college professor, who’s book, ‘Becoming Cliterate – Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It’ is making the New York Times sit up and take climax notes. Laurie explains that we’ve been thinking about sex all wrong. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don’t orgasm this way. Laurie chats to Joe about the broader cultural problem that’s perpetuating this orgasm gap, and what we can do about it. The revolution is cuming—and Laurie offers a radical, simple solution to progress and pleasure for all. “Good communication is the bedrock of all relationships,” says Laurie. “And, good communication can literally, make…
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Jul 28, 2019
Ari Tuckman on Fidelity, Sex and Digital Toys
This week’s guest on Smart Sex, Smart Love, is psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Ari Tuckman. Ari and Joe delve deeper into what monogamy means for couples when it comes to sex and digital toys, and exactly what the notion of a ‘fidelity agreement’ means. Why should couples have conversations about what is and isn’t acceptable behavior in their relationship? How do fidelity needs evolve over time? And, how tight do fidelity agreements need to be for partners to feel secure? Ari also shares his knowledge of how couples can effectively tech up their sex life with digital sex toys, and how toys like the Fleshlight can cause controversy as well as pleasure. How do these digital sex toys impact relationships? Ari and Joe have all the sex tech cyber erotic answers you’ve been dying to download!
Find Ari Tuckman on:
Facebook | Website
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Jul 19, 2019
Douglas Braun-Harvey on Out of Control Sexual Behaviors & Sex Addiction
Sexual health author, trainer and psychotherapist Douglas Braun-Harvey bridges sexual and mental health. A certified group Therapist, Certified Sex Therapy Supervisor and Certified Sex Therapist, Doug chats to Joe about Out of Control Sexual Behaviors, (OCSB) versus “Sex Addiction” on this week’s Smart Sex, Smart Love podcast. Doug is all about reconsidering the popular notions of addictive sex. His collaborative client/therapist treatment relationship is founded on the principle of men taking responsibility for defining and integrating their personal sexual health vision. So, Joe asks, ‘Do you think “sex addiction” really exists and if not what about his model of OCSB works more effectively?’
Find Doug Braun-Harvey on:
Facebook | Website
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Jul 19, 2019
Susan Kamen on Connecting Imago Relationship Therapy to Sex – Smart Sex, Smart Love with Dr. Joe Kort
Have you heard of IMAGO Relationship Therapy, but have no idea what it is? This week on Smart Sex, Smart Love, Joe meets Susan Kamen, host of “Grow Your Guru,” a weekly show on NRM Streamcast. Susie is a certified Imago therapist and relationship specialist, teaching people the imago dialogue process to create safety, and to allow someone to be heard, especially on difficult topics like sex! Susie and Joe talk all things Imago relationship therapy, and how Imago therapy is different. Do you have conflict in your relationship? Are you looking for an opportunity for some healing and growth in your dialogue with your partner? Then, this is the podcast for you! Listen to Susie explain how collaborative a process Imago therapy is, and how it can significantly benefit you within your relationship and gain a better understanding of yourself and your partner.
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Jul 6, 2019
David Ley on Sex Addiction & Porn
It’s sometimes hard to debunk “sex/porn addiction.” This week on Smart Sex, Smart Love, Joe Kort chats with David Ley, an internationally-recognized expert on issues related to sexuality, pornography, and mental health. Together Joe and David discuss how David debunks the myth of “sex addiction”, in his book, ‘The Myth of Sex Addiction’. Is “sex addiction” a real diagnosis, or an avoidance to deal with the real issues a person is struggling with? And asks, ‘What does “sex addiction” mean for you?’
Find Dr. David Ley on:
Facebook: Facebook.com/david.leyphd
Twitter: Twitter.com/DrDavidLey
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Jul 6, 2019
David Singer on Consensual Non-Monogamy
Dr. Joe Kort: Welcome to Smart Sex, Smart love. I'm Dr. Joe Kort, and today I'm delighted to be with David Singer. David Singer is a poly and kink aware therapist based in California, a licensed marriage and family therapist. David is not just a kink aware of professional. He's also active in the lifestyle, giving him a greater empathy for the challenges that exist for people who refuse to live by other people's rules. He specializes in working with people practicing or exploring consensual non-monogamy, people involved in kink and power exchange relationships, as well as sex workers. His clients have been individuals, couples and polycules. We'll talk about what that means. He'll tell us what that means.
David has a master's degree in clinical psychology with an emphasis on marriage and family therapy from Pepperdine University. He also has more than a decade of experience working with police and fire departments to help survivors of trauma. David is a sex positive therapist who also…
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Jul 6, 2019
Justin Lehmiller on Cuckolding, Cuckqueening & Sex Fantasies – Smart Sex, Smart Love with Dr. Joe Kort
From behaviors and fetishes to kinks and vanilla, Justin and Joe discuss everything including cuckolding – this incredibly common male fetish. What does it say about you if you’re into kinky or BDSM sex? Is cuckqueening for women really a thing too? In this episode of Smart Sex, Smart Love, Justin and Joe delve into the truth about how porn and sex fantasies like cuckolding and cuckqueening affect us.
Learn more about Dr. Lehmiller:
Website: Lehmiller.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/PsychologyOfSex
Twitter: Twitter.com/JustinLehmiller
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Jul 6, 2019
Doug & Jo on Roping & #MeToo
Have you ever wondered what Roping really is? This week’s guests on Smart Sex, Smart Love are rope anarchists and kink organizers, Doug and Jo from miropes.com. Best known as experts on incorporating rope into sex and bedroom bondage, Doug and Jo chat all things bondage and #MeToo with Joe Kort, breaking the taboos.
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Jul 6, 2019
Dr. Joe Kort on Episode 0
Dr. Joe Kort: Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Kort. I've been in practice 34 years. I'm a licensed psychotherapist with a master's in social work, and I have a PhD, actually, in clinical sexology. For the longest time, probably 25 of my 34 years, I was a sex addiction therapist. What you need to know is, that's very different than being a sex therapist. As a sex addiction therapist, I knew nothing about sex. I learned lots about trauma, I learned lots about addiction, but I learned nothing about sex. So I would have clients coming in who had sexual trauma, sexual abuse, and out-of-control sexual behaviors, and I was unable to help them effectively, because I didn't understand how to help them talk about sex.
The theory was, if they heal, your clients heal, their sexuality will surface naturally. I found out that was bullshit. You have to talk to people about their sexual lives and their erotic lives. In fact, most therapists are not trained in sex. So my mission is to train therapists about sex, and t…
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