Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah Carey
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Deep conversations with women about their personal experience of sex and female sexuality.
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3 days ago
UNCUT – Gender is a non-issue for me - Donya
I need a longer break than I anticipated, so in order to keep giving you new content, I’m releasing a handful of interviews in their uncut form.
Donya started getting sexual attention very young because her body developed early. As a teenager and adult, she has experienced a wide range of relationship styles and partners. After having a child and settling into the closest thing to commitment outside of marriage, she received a breast cancer diagnosis.
Donya is a 46-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and in a committed relationship.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:48 - Donya shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, finding a book of erotica at age 9 or 10 and feeling aroused in a new way—both physically and mentally, at the same time.
* 7:58 - Sex was not discussed in the home; her parents divorced and her mother remarried a closed-off man. She finds her mom’s secret copy of “The Joy of Sex” at some point.
* 14:40 - Donya talks about being both busty and a dancer and receiving sexual attention from an early teen age. It’s an early experience of power and pleasure—especially at youth group. Dry humping becomes a favorite activity.
* 24:51 - Sex itself is fairly disappointing early on; Donya learns to exercise the power dynamic between using the appeal she has to get attention and wanting to go slow to actually find pleasure.
* 29:00 - Donya finally experiences a lover who is devoted to her pleasure. As part of the Society for Creative Anachronism, she tries to navigate the community’s culture of non-monogamy.
* 37:23 - Donya talks about the end of her primary poly relationship: yes, you can be poly and still cheat.
* 39:19 - Donya shares how she came out as bisexual and began to experiment, up to the point of marrying a “Santa Cruz lesbian” and seeing the inside of man-bashing culture.
* 50:19 - Donya catches us up on her current long-term monogamous male partner, with whom she has a child. They’ve been together 8 years and have a fully committed life; at first neither want to mess with marriage again, but it’s now on the table.
* 58:04 - Childbearing (and specifically vaginal birth) impacts her sexuality. So does being a mother to a young child, and the parenting style choices they make.
* 1:05:28 - Donya experiences a series of illnesses, and is diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her partner go through periods of separation. They’ve gotten therapy and are currently together.
* 1:08:22 - She talks about the details of her breast cancer journey. She feels like her body let her down, and fears bad sex in forced menopause.
The Lowdown (1:13:52)
Patreon:
All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls
Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
May 7, 2021
BONUS - Does he love my body or just tolerate it?
I told you I’d drop something fun into your feed while I’m on break and here it is!
A couple days ago, I had a conversation with my friend Stefanie Michele on Instagram Live. Stefanie is an Intuitive Eating coach who helps people break out of the binge and restrict patterns of disordered eating.
We talked about the intersection of body image and sex – believing our partner actually loves our body, rather than just tolerating it. If I’m not comfortable being naked in front of my partner? How do I get over the feeling that people would only be interested in me if I were more attractive? And more.
You can find Stefanie on Instagram @IAmStefanieMichele.
I’ll be back with an all new interview episode next week!
Apr 22, 2021
When the world gets too hard - Leah
Patreon:
All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
Apr 15, 2021
I settled for someone who wasn't the biggest jerk – Hope
Hope is trapped in a sexually repressive, emotionally abusive marriage shaped by the patriarchal traditions and relationship culture of her country of origin. With awareness comes healing, and she hopes to spread the message to other women that they are allowed to speak up, deserving of basic decency, and even worthy of real love.
Hope is a 38-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Pakistani, Sunni Muslim, straight, married, and monogamous. She deals with polycystic ovarian syndrome and describes her body as “fluffy”.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:56 - Hope’s first memory of sexual pleasure is, in fact, quite recent. She grew up in a conservative family and didn’t think of herself as sexual aside from knowing she was straight due to “deep crushes” on boys.
* 9:57 - Conversations around sex during her teen years in Pakistan were accidental and minimal aside from a biology lesson in school, which was delivered by a no-nonsense chemistry teacher.
* 15:07 - Hope’s first strong experience of sexual pull at age 18 in college is distressing to her.
* 18:39 - Hope talks about being a Sunni Muslim in Pakistan and the impact that has on what sexuality looks like in culture.
* 24:45 - Arranged marriages and matchmaking under patriarchal culture set a perfect table for relationships with toxic power dynamics, emotional repression, and lack of fulfilment.
* 32:47 - Hope describes the matchmaking experience in Pakistan.
* 35:40 - Hope meets her husband. His mother has a history of working outside the home; this is a surprise and a boon. The match is difficult though, and women do not speak up. She finds herself trapped raising children and lacking the financial independence to leave.
* 41:30 - Hope opens up about the sex in her marriage: awkward and painful. She learned from books, he learned from porn.
* 46:15 - She has only recently learned about female pleasure by exploring masturbation to release her pent-up desire. It’s also a step towards self-healing.
* 50:00 - Hope talks about the future. She does not foresee another relationship, she just wishes for peace.
* 53:13 - She shares how she envisions a more open dialogue with her own children around sex and relationships, breaking a cultural and generational pattern of toxicity.
Patreon:
All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Apr 8, 2021
Do I have a porn addiction?
You don’t worry about having a bathtub masturbation addiction. Leah answers a listener’s questions about whether she has a porn addiction, and why she can’t orgasm with her husband. She talks about identifying the function of porn, not taking on shame, and navigating a relationship agreement around it.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:12 - “Am I normal?” A listener calls in with two inter-related questions: is it normal to be unable to orgasm through intercourse with my husband, and is it normal that I only can with porn?
* 4:11 - Leah responds to the listener. Difficulty orgasming during is a thing that many women experience. There can be physical or mental causes.
* 6:17 - How do you identify techniques that deliver pleasure if you don’t know what you want or what is possible?
* 8:17 - Leah calls back to a recent share about being shamed by our partner. This creates an experience of break in trust.
* 9:28 - Is there *actually* such a thing as porn addiction? We do a fact check.
* 10:50 - Check in with how porn functions in your relationship. Is it what you need to physiologically relax?
* 12:16 - Make a relationship agreement that supports you on how to navigate it—without being responsible for your partner or making yourself small.
* 15:48- PJ Parties for Grownups!
Podcast recommendation:
* Title – Decide Balance
* Host – Yvonne Hernández
* Apple Podcasts description - A space where anyone of any age can decide balance in their day at anytime with a 5 minute guided bilingual (English & Spanish) meditation.
* Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/DecideBalance
* Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DecideBalance
Join me on Patreon:
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Apr 1, 2021
Sex was a marital duty - Charlotte
Charlotte’s sexual journey has taken the deep bends—and openings—of the yoga she practices. She met her husband in a guru community, fled it, had two daughters, reclaimed her body, and is now exploring “high-fidelity” polyamory in several configurations.
Charlotte is a 45-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and perimenopausal with an athletic body. Her sexual orientation and preferred relationship style are under exploration, and her current relationship status is “exploring.”
Bookmark moments:
* 5:02 - Charlotte shares her first experience of sexual pleasure, at age 18. She talks about arousal and masturbation and exploration occurring before then, but not to the level of real pleasure.
* 11:20 - Charlotte grew up Catholic, with very little family PDA, and the most basic Sex Ed. “None of the juicy stuff.”
* 19:00 - She meets the father of her children in a yoga community and has to keep the relationship a secret as they travel the world with their guru. They are forced to leave, quickly marry, and have two daughters.
* 21:26 - Charlotte opens up about sexual violation at the hands of the guru as part of the “spiritual path” she was expected to be on. She struggles for three years before it starts outweighing the good of the mission she believed in.
* 27:55 - She and her husband leave the community together and set up house. Pregnancy, motherhood, and breastfeeding take over her body and sex becomes a marital duty.
* 29:38 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
* 32:17 - Her marriage struggles.
* 35:10 - She finds herself alone for the first time in 10 years when her husband takes the girls on a trip. She reunites with a college friend…with benefits.
* 37:00 - Charlotte talks about her current exploratory dating, Her sexual orientation and relationship styles vary at the moment, and include being in a non-monogamous “high-fidelity polyamory” with a super communicative yoga dude and being the girlfriend of a married couple.
* 40:20 - After spending time digging into and undoing her wounds, she is literally bathed in new love.
* 43:58 - A friend of a friend overhears Charlotte talking about her escapades at a party, and contacts her afterward to ask if she’ll have sex with her husband. He turns out to be hot enough to make her nervous.
* 47:26 - Charlotte looks to the future and potentially partnering up monogamously again, as well as further pushing her sexual boundaries.
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
Charlotte talks about dealing with depression and uncovering feelings of unworthiness as a college student. Then she talks about the final disintegration of her marriage. And of course, the full Lowdown Q&A!
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Mar 25, 2021
We were in a rut BEFORE the pandemic – Cindy
Leah shares a coaching session with Cindy, a married mother of one, for support around a very human variety of issues: decreased libido, sex after motherhood, love languages, pandemic life, sex for connection vs. conception, miscarriage, self-care, homework, and grace.
Bookmark moments:
* 3:18 - Cindy talks about participating in coaching in one of Leah’s group sessions, and catches us up on what life looks like (sexually and otherwise) a year into the pandemic.
* 7:46 - Stress can have varied effects on libido—up or down.
* 9:35 - Can you turn your libido back “on”? Cindy talks about what she did to try, paying more attention to her body, taking better care of it.
* 12:20 - They talk about trying to use sex to connect *as well as* conceive.
* 15:41 - Leah helps Cindy hone in on what she wants her sex life to look life.
* 17:47 - Cindy conceives but suffers a miscarriage; she opens up about the impact.
* 20:25 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
* 22:57 - Homework assignments—fun ones, of course—can be a tangible, focused way to take concrete steps towards your goal. And, sometimes the homework is giving yourself grace.
* 30:08 - Cindy gets specific about what she wants to focus on in her relationship.
* 32:05 - They speak on love languages: his is gifts, hers is acts of service. Leah helps Cindy navigate through ideas for activities.
* 38:00 - Leah talks about how coaching can help in different relationship areas and for specific interests, with group and solo options.
* 40:03 - A post-coaching update from Cindy; and a discussion about being compassionate with yourself about your fears.
Join me on Patreon:
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Mar 18, 2021
Sex is great but so is sleep - Jordan
Jordan is a young mother of two young children; she’s also a doula, and therefore all up in bodies and their business. Her innate curiosity led her on a sex and biology research deep-dive that coincided with the start of her relationship with her husband. As a result, she is passionate in her work and home about open and aware sexual dialogue, consent, communication, and support.
Jordan is a 23-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and married with two kids. She grew up in a Christian home and she describes her body as “tall and lanky like a baby giraffe.”
Bookmark moments:
* Jordan shares her first memories of sexual pleasure. She started late at 16-17, and married early.
* Sex Ed was the usual, but her parents didn’t want her to attend the class without a frank but Christian-based family discussion first.
* She doesn’t tell anyone when she gets her period for a year despite overt symptoms that, when finally diagnosed, turn out to be polycystic ovarian syndrome. The pill is prescribed but creates a new set of problems.
* Early conversations between Jordan and her now-husband were honest and upfront about her health possibly precluding kids, even as they agreed she should come off the pill.
* Jordan talks about tracking her cycle for fertility awareness for birth control.
* PJ Parties for Grownups!
* Jordan tells the story of (reluctantly) meeting her husband.
* Jordan talks about the mental steps she took upon coming out of her Christian upbringing to open to pre-marital sex.
* When Jordan realizes there’s WAY more to sex than what she’s been taught growing up, she goes on a research bender and her now-husband was happy to lead the way and surf her learning curve.
* Jordan opens up about libido in the postpartum period and how she feels in her body.
* Jordan talks about being a birth doula, and she and Leah talk about mothers of young children being “touched out.” Jordan has a great hug metaphor to explain the very real energetic exchange—and loss.
* Postpartum sex.
* Jordan hopes to re-prioritize sex in the not-too-distant future.
* Jordan and her husband and thought and talked extensively about raising sex-positive, consent-aware, feminism- and equality-minded boys, while still celebrating their masculinity including their sexual journey.
The Lowdown (1:01:00)
Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
Do you think it's generally easy or challenging for you to orgasm?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
Jordan’s first boyfriend, where she drew the line between "fooling around" and "having sex", learning to orgasm, and that time her ex-boyfriend slept with her best friend! Plus the full Lowdown Q&A.
Jordan talks at length about tandem breastfeeding her nine-month-old and her 2.5 year old and the AMAZING things our body is capable of! She also talks about sexual breast play with her husband while also breastfeeding her kids.
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts
Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Mar 11, 2021
Do you remember your safe word? - Chris & Caitlin
Caitlin returns for a follow-up coaching session with her partner, Chris. They check in with Leah about their BDSM explorations, dom/sub dynamics, communication in and out of play sessions, aftercare, safe words, bruising, pleasure, and sourcing and trying new ideas.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:20 - Caitlin and Chris catch Leah up on the new-to-them BDSM they’ve been exploring and what they’d like support with.
* 7:31 - Caitlin is clear that sub is her turf.
* 8:38 - They get into specifics with impact tools, paddles, riding crop, switch, etc. Chris explains how he manages and escalates the impact using a 1-10 scale and timing set to playdate playlist.
* 12:55 - Leah talks about safe-wording to help Caitlin really get into sub space and also to give Chris reassurance. The line rests in the hands of the sub. Leah also talks about non-verbal safe cues.
* 17:55 - Chris shares his progress since the start of their sexual partnership.
* 20:29 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
* 23:13 - Pleasure dynamics for the dom, and physically dominating vs verbally dominating. Chris has an easier time with one over the other and is naturally a giver, so Leah helps him find new some avenues and techniques.
* 27:07 - Making a restaurant-style command or activity menu ahead of time can help. Leah shares a few tips.
* 30:53 - Navigating voyeurism/exhibitionism, consent, and safe places to engage.
* 36:21 - The Yes/No/Maybe list is great for finding and knowing your hard red lines. It’s also a good idea to revisit the list periodically. Leah shares other resources and talks about BDSM tasting events.
* 41:31 - Chris talks about finding and pushing the limits as a dom while still being careful not to hurt her.
* 43:50 - Each play session is separate and discrete; always check in fresh.
* 44:56 - Is pushing BDSM limits healthy? If you’re having consensual fun, carry on.
* 48:26 - Here’s how to work with Leah.
Resources mentioned:
* Three Minute Game
* Yes / No / Maybe list
* Literotica
Join me on Patreon:
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls
Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Mar 4, 2021
Unhappily married - Tee
Tee is unhappily married, and unhappy with her sex life—like so many people. Also like too many, she experiences the lingering impacts of sexual assault. She’s doing the work of setting boundaries, trying to provide a good example for her kids, and is still hoping someday she’ll find a communicative and loving partner.
Bookmark moments:
* 3:33 - Tee shares her first memory of sexual pleasure around age 16, having an electrifying first kiss with an annoying boy.
* 9:13 - Tee talks about growing up in a conservative Baptist congregation, then opens up about seeing her parents’ marital difficulties and the lingering impacts that has had on her relationships even to present day.
* 12:22- She is aware of the impact of spousal/parental yelling on her own kids.
* 12:45 - Tee is a masturbation late-bloomer. She felt behind her peers growing up, in all sexual matters.
* 15:05 - She loses her virginity and discovered that too much size matters.
* 17:33 - Her next lover takes his time and explains things.
* 18:50 - Tee talks about body image, being a tall woman.
* 25:13 PJ Parties for Grownups!
* 30:40 - A month after she gets engaged, Tee discovers she is pregnant. She miscarries at 5 months. The relationship doesn’t survive.
* 35:31 - She bumps into a childhood friend.
* 37:23 - Tee delves into the downturn in their sexual relationship. He tells her she is sexually immature. A quantity vs quality discussion ensues.
* 40:34 - A birthday dinner for her husband leads to sex gone awry and a lot of resentment. Communication was never good and has since broken down. He is ill and she stays out of obligation.
* 46:08 - Tee is contemplating a different future, for herself and her children.
* 49:42 - Men wanting to engage in three-ways with her and another woman makes her uncomfortable. Do all men want that?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
This week at Patreon we’ve got the full extended Lowdown Q&A with Tee.
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I donate 10% of all Patreon income to ARC-Southeast, an organization that provides financial and logistical support to people seeking reproductive health services in Southeastern United States where safe and even life-saving services are being legislated out of existence.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
Feb 25, 2021
I think I had a crush on a woman - Coaching Caitlin
Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. Caitlin is divorced and currently in a friends-with-benefits heterosexual relationship. She and Leah had discussed fantasies and BDSM in previous private sessions; here they focus on Caitlin’s new (or perhaps not new?) sexual attraction to women, and how she might begin to explore that in real life.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:15 - Leah explains what coaching does—and doesn’t—involve. She introduces Caitlin, the coach-ee!
* 4:44 - Caitlin catches Leah up on a big realization she’s had since their last coaching sessions: she’s sexually curious about women too.
* 10:21 - Leah helps Caitlin hone in on whether her attraction to women is a leftover effect of our hyper-sexualized-female-form-loving culture, or a deeper sexual attraction.
* 14:40 - The conversation turns to fantasies; they’re a great way to safely explore new thoughts and desires. Eroti…
Feb 18, 2021
I thought my vagina was broken - Stephanie
Stephanie shares how childhood shame about feeling good in her body led to an eating disorder. She talks about how the eating disorder affected her ability to relate with sexual partners, including her now-husband. Healing the eating disorder has allowed her to begin relating in a new way with her body and her husband.
Bookmark moments:
2:37 - Stephanie shares her first memory of sexual play at age 5 or 6, accidentally discovering that rubbing her genitals felt good. The adults around her shamed her, leading her to believe masturbation was a terrible secret.
8:20 - Shame compounds to feeling that her vagina is broken.
11:45 - Stephanie describes a “good girl” upbringing, and being behind her peers in sexual experimentation.
14:55 - An eating disorder manifests in her life.
19:57 - What trauma, even/especially when we don’t label it as such, can look like.
24:31 - Stephanie hits a rock bottom with her eating disorder in college, and rebounds into a new willingness to try se…
Feb 11, 2021
Dealing with post-sex UTIs
Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener’s question about common and chronic UTI’s that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment. She explains how naturopaths can restore balance to your vaginal ecology without creating a medical wasteland, and recommends some home remedies so that you too can help your vagina help itself.
Bookmark moments:
* 1:06 - Listener question: Do I really have to take antibiotics the rest of my life to avoid post-sex UTIs?
* 3:21 - Dr. Dacker breaks down the anatomy behind UTI’s.
* 5:51 - Lube can have a non-sexual protective application.
* 6:18 - D-Mannose is a carbohydrate sugar that lines the urethra and actually prevents the bacteria from migrating. OTC pro-biotics can help too.
* 7:41 - Vaginitises can occur with any vaginal intercourse.
* 9:58 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
* 12:50 - Yeast infections are discussed.
* 15:34 - Why the usual antibiotic-after-sex treatment is *not* the…
Feb 6, 2021
They can't find the clit without a roadmap - Alexa (take 2)
“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience.
Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton.
BOOKMARK MOMENTS:
* Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7.
* Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to.
* She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex.
* Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she ch…
Feb 4, 2021
An error in translation
Hey friends,
You’ll notice this isn’t the regular episode you were expecting!
The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it.
However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I’ve pulled the episode to fix it.
Here’s what happened –
Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter. It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it.
What didn’t occur to me was to send the transcript to Alexa in advance of the release to confirm that the translation accurately reflected what she said. I did that last night.
This morning I had an email from Alexa letting me know there were some issues. In light of that, I’ve pulled the regular episode down while we make some adjustments to make sure Alexa’s thoughts and feelings are truly represented.
While this is resulting in a bit of a scram…
Jan 28, 2021
My pandemic sex life
“The story of our pandemic sex life: it has not been pretty.” Host Leah gets raw and real about how her intimate life has weathered the storm of a year-long international crisis, and about how confronting her partner’s depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it competently.
Bookmark moments:
* 1:05 - We have transcripts! Plus: part of why that is awesome is our upcoming interview with a deaf guest!
* 4:55 - Leah opens up about her own sex life during the pandemic.
* 6:44 - Built into our society, and therefore our healthcare models, is the idea that men shouldn’t ask for help. It’s not an excuse, but it has had real consequences for Leah and her partner.
* 10:03 - Here comes the sex (or, doesn’t).
* 13:13 - As her partner’s depression and drinking worsens, Leah has the profound realization that her management via being strong and setting boundaries has the side effect of buffering (and thereby supporting) a damag…
Jan 21, 2021
He was a god and I was a kid - Debbie
Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.
Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as average.
Bookmark moments:
3:40 - Debbie’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice.
9:13 - She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group.
11:18 - Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage.
20:44 - Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful.
25:52…
Jan 14, 2021
Improve your sex life with the STARS talk
STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex.
Dr. Evelin Dacker developed the STARS method to create a way for potential and current partners to have a thorough and safe conversation about physical and relationship expectations.
Public Service Announcement: Sometimes discovery is the mother of tension. Intimate play can be easier and much more fun if you go in knowing what each other likes, or doesn’t.
Bookmark moments:
2:39 - What is the STARS conversation? Plus, if you’ve had it before, you should have it again.
6:36 - Dr. Evelin Dacker explains sex positivity.
9:03 - As she engaged in health research earlier in her career, she realized there’s a total lack of sex talk in the field.
12:11 - Leah shares an experience she had at her first small group portion of a STARS class. When asked to share what her turn-ons and avoids were, she burst into tears and couldn’t speak.
14:12 – Dr. Dacker breaks down each letter in STARS,…
Dec 10, 2020
I tried to pee standing up – Lachlan
Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated.
In this super-sized episode…
Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear.
Bookmark moments:
* 6:33 - Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls.
* 11:11 - Lachlan’s parents don’t pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn’t a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about “passing” and blouses, and struggles through his teens.
* 18:21 - He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver.
* 23:08 - Lachlan’s first sexual…
Dec 3, 2020
What’s your favorite kind of touch?
What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing.
PSA: If you don’t know what kind of touch you like, there’s nothing wrong with you—but you have some (really great) homework to do.
Bookmark moments:
* 3:13 - A chorus of voices answer the question “What is your favorite kind of touch?”.
* 14:23 - Leah answers. She first discovered what kind of touch she likes while drifting during a high school class.
* 16:31 - Podcast recommendation - As part of introducing this week’s featured podcast, Leah opens up about the emotional abuse she experienced from her father growing up, and how that shaped her later interest in people who leave cults.
* 19:18 - Leah talks about undoing her own brainwashing.
Podcast recommendation:
* “Two Sisters and a Cult” with Jada Smith and Alesia Galati
* Jada and Alesia are sister cult survivors. They discuss all things historical and present-day cults, while relating th…
Nov 25, 2020
I don’t equate sex and love - Gretchen
Leah met Gretchen at Sex Geek Summer Camp. They realized they share remarkably similar journeys; both started having sex later in life, believed that they were broken, then sought out sexual experiences and healing. Significantly, both engaged the services of a tantric practitioner.
Gretchen is a cisgender 46-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual and polyamorous. She describes her body as average.
PSA: You can’t learn to swim in a lecture hall.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:07 - Gretchen talks about her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with another girl around age 8 or 9.
* 7:13 - Growing up Catholic, sex was never talked about.
* 10:44 - Gretchen discusses dissociating from her body for most of her life. Her parents never discussed her appearance in an attempt to minimize cultural influences. It backfires, though not in the usual way.
* 18:12 - In her late 20’s, after returning from the Peace Corps, she finally tries to start dating.
* 19:39 -…
Nov 19, 2020
What are your hard red lines?
Even people who think they’re sexually open have hard red lines. This week Leah digs into discerning where your absolute no’s are, why they might be there, and how to share them with your partner(s).
Bookmark moments:
* 3:42 – A chorus of voices answer the question, “What are your hard red lines?”
* 14:40 - Leah talks about her own hard red lines, a surprising number of which have to do how she is treated rather than specific act.
* 17:58 - Leah talks about both setting boundaries and defending them when it comes to your red lines.
* 19:19 - Pain tolerance, and how it can increase during sex, is discussed.
* 20:03 - Leah shares her process for vetting and setting boundaries with new partners in terms of safety and play.
Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
HAVE A QUESTION?: Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739)
PATREON: Become a community sup…
Nov 12, 2020
Sex, mattresses and wheelchairs - Candi
Overview: Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it’s like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite an appearance—and often others’ assumption—of fragility.
Public Service Announcement: Never judge a book by its wheels.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:30 - Candi shares her first memory of sexual desire, a seemingly spontaneous discovery of masturbation in 9th She grew up in a conservative Christian family and sex was not discussed.
* 7:46 - She talks about being flat-chested in high school, and being such a late bloomer that her mom never gave her the period talk and she only knew what was happening because of Sex Ed.
* 14:56 - Candi stays a virgin until she’s 22, influenced both by purity culture and fear of the unknown.
* 16:50 - She meets a cute boy with a leg brace in a boring class and they bond. She bol…
Nov 5, 2020
Letting go of shame
After having a baby, a mom is left feeling alone in the process of re-learning her body. Leah explains why it’s more than okay to seek support, and how that can generate its own kind of healing.
Bookmark moments:
* 1:31 - A listener gave birth 3 years ago, and is still struggling with her altered body. She asks if she’s supposed to deal with it on her own, or if she can ask per partner for support.
* 2:06 - Leah shares her own struggle with body image, starting at a young age, and how hearing healing words from others is what finally broke through her negative internal messaging.
* 5:06 - Our culture harmfully socializes us to believe that radical independence in all areas is not only possible, but the goal.
* 6:35 - Sometimes our partners hold keys to our healing. Leah shows the listener how to start the conversation.
* 11:43 – Podcast recommendation:
* A Mind Full of Everything with Agrita - Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts on a regular basis? Ag…
Oct 29, 2020
I felt like I had to sleep with him - Yami
Yami opens up about a variety of common though not-commonly-talked-about subjects: sexual assault by a family member, and navigating polyamory.
Yami is a 23-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as bisexual and heteroromantic, in a relationship and exploring opening up with her partner. She describes her body shape as “a few extra pounds.”
Public service announcement: It is not your job to not be assaulted. Especially as a younger person, you shouldn’t even need to know how to not be assaulted.
Term to learn: Compersion is feeling pleasure when your partner is experiencing pleasure.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:54 - Yami remembers being about 6 years old, and exploring with another young girl.
* 7:27 - She shares her timeline of growing up in the Dominican Republic before moving to the US.
* 9:16 - She’s a little obsessed with getting her period, though there’s no sex talk at home; she discovers masturbation on her own, then loses her virginity under pressure.…
Oct 22, 2020
Do you worry about your smell or taste?
Bookmark moments:
* 1:05 - You can say no at any point, even when you’re in the middle of it. Leah talks about how to do this in real life.
* 6:24 - Men are socialized to feel entitled to an ending once the sex has started.
* 7:33 - Leah shares a guide she created to help find words for navigating mid-sex consent: “Take a Breath.”
* 9:16 - The “Am I Normal?” phone line (720-GOOD-SEX) goes to anonymous voicemail. Call away!
* 12:00 - The Lowdown question is answered by a variety of women.
* 19:15 - Leah answers. She opens up about problematic recurring yeast infections in her youth, and recommends against putting garlic in your hoo-haa.
* 21:49 - In the name of truth-seeking, Leah makes an unusual Sunday afternoon request of her boyfriend.
Resources mentioned:
* leahcarey.com/takeabreath - A worksheet to walk you through taking a pause in the middle of sex
Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
FACEBOOK GROUP: ww…
Oct 15, 2020
I struggled with guilt when I became a mother - Jocelyn
Jocelyn is a full-service sex worker who’s seen many aspects of the industry, and who currently specializes in sexual healing and sexual surrogacy.
Joslyn is a 37 year old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, single and dating, and Canadian. She grew up in a Protestant Christian home. She describes her body as athletic with curves.
How Healing Happens: Sex work can be a bridge to all levels of healing, from getting basic touch needs met to helping the body re-wire for safety after trauma to helping people with physical difficulties achieve sexual experiences at all.
Bookmark moments:
* 5:04 - Jocelyn shares her first memory of sexual pleasure—kissing during after-school care with a boy she liked.
* 7:30 - There was no Sex Ed or discussion at home. She was raised by a single mom and she didn’t tell her when she got her period.
* 10:40 - Jocelyn opens up about experiencing emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her fath…
Oct 8, 2020
When exercise = danger
Leah talks about a consent violation she experienced during medical care last year, and also shares her insights into her own fear around exercising. Bookmark moments:
* 1:52 - Leah begins by sharing about her quarantine weight gain, which led her to confront a lifetime’s worth of avoidance issues around exercise — and an insight into how that mirrors the effects a negative body image had on safety in her sex
* 3:52 - Leah shares a traumatic memory of assault at age 12 at the hands of her father.
* 6:55 - Built-in responses to trauma complicate our culture’s idea that pushing through weight loss difficulties is just about
* 11:05 - Early socialization and sexualization for those who grew up in girl bodies adds further trauma and mixed messaging.
* 13:35 - Leah talks about an experience of violation of consent during a visit to a new Boldly, she addresses it after the visit. Resources mentioned:
* Evelin Dacker’s Good Girls Talk About Sex episode –
* Stand u…
Oct 1, 2020
It’s a vagina, not a birth defect - Lynn
Lynn shares her trauma history, and then opens up on a deep and detailed level about hiring a sex worker to save her marriage. Because no one in her family talked about sex or bodies, for much of her early life, she believed that her vagina was a fatal birth defect.
Lynn is a 49-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, NOT straight, mostly monogamous, married, and peri-menopausal. She describes her body as "very average."
How Healing Happens: Sex workers can play a critical role in sexual healing. It’s a safe space with clear boundaries, and without the emotional charge (or baggage) often built up with a partner. A sex worker can help you overcome resistance to pleasure, focus on sensation, and figure out what *does* feel good to your body. And some do work with couples.
Bookmark moments:
* 4:25 - Lynn’s first memory of sexual pleasure occurs at age 9, with the accidental placement of a blanket between her legs on a hot summer night. Her surprise discovery…
Sep 24, 2020
Do you enjoy receiving oral sex?
Receiving oral sex isn’t just about a tongue on a clit – it’s about all the emotional and mental conversation happening at the same time.
Bookmark moments:
* 6:13 - The women answer “Do you enjoy receiving oral sex?”
* 10:21 - Leah answers. She opens up about the relationship dynamics in which her first experience of receiving oral took place, and how that impacted subsequent relationships.
* 14:10 - Leah suggests a new technique to her second partner, which works, but he doesn’t stick to it.
* 16:10 - She shares how she’s working on staying present with the physical sensation when her current partner goes down, and tracing the history of her hindered state of responsiveness to oral sex back to that first partner.
* 20:24 - Am I Normal? A powerful, independent woman is confused by her desire to be dominated in the bedroom.
* 23:23 - Leah talks through common fantasies and the reasons why domination can feel so refreshing.
* 25:20 - Masochism is discussed.…
Sep 17, 2020
Doing her “wifely duty” – Jade
Jade opens up about the tension and difficulties in her past marriage, and the sexual dynamics of subtle pressure and coercion she experienced in the marriage and in her earlier dating. Maturity and emotional safety are at the core of her current partnership and it revolutionizes her sex life. She’s now in love with her girl parts!
Jade is a 51-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as bisexual, monogamous, in a relationship, and the mother of 2 children who are still at home. She has had 2 miscarriages and still gets her period. She describes her body as slender.
Countering Culture: Jade shares that although she knew her husband (at the time) never would have actually forced her into sex, she felt the pressure to satisfy his needs because she—along with most of the rest of us—grew up immersed in a culture that frames it as a “wifely duty” and bases a woman’s value (and therefore social safety) on being a “good” wife.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:36 - Jade’s…
Sep 10, 2020
Do you swallow?
We follow the oral sex question with a deep dive into swallowing ejaculate (or *not*.) We hear a wide variety of yes/no answers, but also yes/no conditions. Then Leah share her personal experience with blowjobs and the journey she took to make sure it was as good for her as it was for him.
How Healing Happens: Little boys get just as much bad messaging as little girls do. Learning how to openly and safely communicate with your sexual partner can re-educate and heal you both.
Bookmark moments:
* 1:49 – A chorus of women answer the question “Do you swallow?”
* 6:01 - Leah answers. She opens by sharing that in the pre-internet days, Cosmo was her primary source of information.
* 7:52 - The “If you love him, you swallow” rule and its fallout.
* 11:13 - Leah gives her first blowjob, and it’s disastrous for her afterwards.
* 13:03 - A new approach learned at a STARS class blows her mind.
* 16:25 - Leah and her partner try something new with blowjobs and it’s a wi…
Sep 3, 2020
I like foreplay, not penetration - Paulette
This week, 72-year-old Paulette gives us a window into growing up in a conservative time and culture, and how those tight-lipped and sexually discouraging tropes impacted her lifelong ability to experience pleasure.
Paulette is a cisgender female. She describes herself as mixed Black/Latinx, heterosexual, monogamous, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as "thick."
PSA: Restrictive beliefs can impact so many areas of life and pleasure. If something is confusing you and holding you back, ask, ask, ask for help.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:52 - Paulette shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, kissing a boy at around age 8 and liking it.
* 7:45 - Growing up in an African-American and West Indian family, the expectation was that girls would not bring shame to their family.
* 8:50 - She got her period at elementary school unexpectedly, and up to that point had received no education about sex or reproductive bodily functions. Even afterwards there was little detail imparted.…
Aug 13, 2020
Do you enjoy giving blow jobs?
A variety of women answer whether or not they enjoy giving oral sex; host Leah goes more in-depth about her own personal experiences and preferences, and about how to engage in, negotiate, and enjoy the act. Then, the discussion turns to navigating a polyamorous relationship for someone new to the practice.
Extra Bits:
PSA—Beware of performative standards (what you see in porn), and always feel free to negotiate the specifics of a sex act according to what is both comfortable and pleasurable for you—like, if you have a sensitive gag reflex, or don’t want ejaculate in your mouth. And on the flip side, positive feedback is important!
Bookmark moments:
* 3:45 - Leah shares how her recent move with her partner into a two-bedroom apartment gives them the option to sleep solo, and why this is a good thing for the relationship and not a sign of deprivation or trouble.
* 5:41 - “Do you enjoy giving oral sex?” – the women answer.
* 12:51 - Leah answers: “I’m a bit agno…
Aug 6, 2020
I had no idea what a vagina looked like - Mel
Mel had plenty of boyfriends but had trouble being faithful. She has chosen ethical non-monogamy as a way of meeting her variety of relational and physical attractions and needs.
Mel is a 55-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as very petite, polyamorous, and post-menopausal.
Public Service Announcement:
If you think monogamy is the vanilla prison for which there is no safe word, or find yourself cheating yet again to get your needs met, it may be time to think outside the box. Relationships—both romantic and play—can accommodate a variety of numbers, shapes, and parameters. For anything from regular group sex to family game night households, consider polyamory.
Bookmark moments:
* 3:03 - Mel’s first memory of sexual pleasure is of rubbing against her pillow at age 7 when sent to her room for a “nap.”
* 8:55 - She started having sex at 14 with a boyfriend and had a great first experience.
* 12:31 - Mel talks about her first lesbian encounter with an o…
Jul 30, 2020
Hair down there or are you bare?
Leah asks the women’s she’s interviewed about their relationship status with their pubic hair. Then she shares her own story of growing up with a combination of a genetically inherited bountiful mound and a learned lady-like horror of the same.
EXTRA BITS:
What we learned: Once again we learned that the range *is* the norm. Women go from no hair at all, to all the hair there is. Even for one person, it varies by day, week, month, or major life event.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:00 – Chorus of voices answering the question “Do you have hair down there, or are you bare?
* 11:30 - Leah answers, including seeing her mother’s body naked with full pubic hair, and witnessing her mother’s embarrassment and swimsuit discretions.
* 12:50 - In her teens, Leah discovers she’s grown her own big bush.
* 14:00 - Leah’s first boyfriend asks her to go bare. Then later, another one demands it.
* 17:32 - A boyfriend leaves it up to her, and it’s a blissful new world of comfort a…
Jul 23, 2020
Don't marry someone you haven't slept with - Heather
Heather grew up assuming she would marry a man and have children. So she did. But sex was never a good experience. Then she had sex with a woman for the first time, and her life was changed forever.
Today she lives with her female partner and co-parents her four daughters with her former husband.
She opens up about her early sexual journey through the lens of parenthood, and what she wants for her daughters compared to what she experienced.
Heather is a 45-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as lesbian, monogamous, peri-menopausal, and in a long-term domestic partnership. She has four daughters, ages 6 to 15, and describes her body as “a little pudgy”.
Bookmark moments:
* 2:22 - Heather’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age five, discovering it felt good when the bath water hit “down there”; this opens up the topic of talking to one’s children about masturbation.
* 11:00 - Heather’s loss of virginity as a teenager under less-than-great circums…
Jul 16, 2020
Do you prefer clit stimulation or penetration?
Leah tackles the hierarchy of orgasms—and getting there at all. This week women respond to whether they prefer clit or vaginal stimulation, which opens up a penetrating (see what we did there?!) discussion about preferences.
Sex Ed For Adults: “You are the only one who knows what’s right for your genitals.” As long as what’s under consideration is consensual, pretty much everything else falls on a scale from “I desire it” to “I don’t desire it.” There is no norm within that scale—the scale IS the norm. You can be anywhere on it, and still be “normal.” It’s a matter of your (and your body’s) preference, and you alone are the interpreter and boss. Trust yourself and your body.
Bookmarks for this episode:
* 3:00 - Leah discusses the false hierarchy of orgasms: having a clit orgasm vs vaginal orgasm vs g-spot orgasm.
* 5:03 - Chorus of voices answering the question “Do you prefer clit stimulation or vaginal penetration?”
* 9:37 - Leah answers the…
Jul 9, 2020
I'm so f'ing multi-orgasmic - Stacey
Stacey grew up aware of and comfortable with her own pleasure from an early age. She has a daughter and is twice divorced. She’s had a rich sex life, and now finds happiness, satisfaction, and opportunity for personal growth in open relationships.
Stacey is a 45-year-old, cis-gender female, who describes herself as Black, heterosexual, and non-monogamous. She is currently single and open to exploring a relationship with a “primary partner.”
This is a re-broadcast of episode 5.
Public Service Announcements:
How to be multi-orgasmic, step 1: Pay attention to what is happening and where. “My whole thing is staying in the room.”
How Healing Happens: Stacey has a moment of deep personal growth when she realizes that the anger she was able to openly display to her mom was misplaced anger she was really feeling towards her emotionally unavailable father: “Love makes us feel safe enough to be horrible.”
OVERVIEW
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:…
Jul 2, 2020
How many people have you had sex with?
Leah has asked many of her interviewees how many sexual partners they’ve had. The answers, in their surprisingly wide variety, show that there is no “normal.” This also opens up a discussion about what “counts” as sex.
Here’s a Thought: Your sexual desires don’t always overlap with your romantic relationship preferences. You can be attracted to and visually stimulated by both men and women, but maybe you only want to engage in long-term committed partnerships with men—or vice versa.
Bookmarks for this episode:
* 6:38 – Chorus of voices answering “How many people have you had sex with?”
* 10:33 - Leah gives her “number” and discusses what “sex” means.
* 16:00 - “Am I Normal?” This week’s caller asks if being attracted to women means her heterosexual marriage is over.
* 21:55 - When *not* to ask your husband for a threesome.
* 23:40 - Our sexual desires and our relationship styles don’t always match up.
"Pimp That Pod" recommendation:…
Jun 25, 2020
I was told I had 'such a pretty face' - Jessica
Jessica is one of so many women who have been told, “You have such a pretty face, if you could only lose 50 pounds…”
During her teenage years, she allowed that to define her perception of herself. Then, at the end of high school, she discovered that there were cute clothes that fit her body and she could show off her curves and get attention. And that’s just the beginning of the story!
Jessica is a 38-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and married to a man. She grew up in the United States, has one child, and calls her body curvy and plus size.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 3:35 – Jessica’s first memory of sexual pleasure is from the bathtub
* 7:00 - She discovers masturbation around age 10, and checks out a book on sexuality from the library.
* 9:30 – Jessica’s school lacked any helpful sex education — they only discussed physical secondary sex characteristics and periods.
* 12:05…
Jun 18, 2020
Do you have sex during your period?
In this episode, Leah begins answering the Lowdown questions – with a twist!
To date, she has done well over 60 interviews, most of which have included an in-depth Q&A. As she answers each Lowdown question, you’ll hear a chorus of voices answering the same question. The goal is to remind you, once again, that no matter what your answer is, you are completely normal and you are not alone.
In the second half of the show, she answers an “Am I normal?” question about feeling attractive after major surgery.
* 2:00 – Chorus of voices answering “Do you have sex during your period?”
* 8:30 – Leah answers the question “Do I have sex during my period?”
* 8:50 - Leah talks about her earliest shame/trauma experience around menstruation, being lectured by her dad in a way that made her feel overwhelmed, invaded, and disgusted.
* 10:30 - When Leah gets her first period at age 12, she ignores it. Her mom discovers evidence in the laundry.
* 12:00 - In her 30’s, she…
Jun 11, 2020
If he doesn't ejaculate, is it sex? - Melissa
Melissa experienced childhood sexual abuse and is dealing with its long-term impacts. She has a complicated pleasure response and is working on reframing how she views sex after abuse.
Melissa is a 40-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as Latina, heterosexual, monogamous, married with 3 boys. She grew up in the United States and currently lives with her family in Australia.
Public Service Announcements:
Sex is not just about the male partner’s ejaculation, and the male partner’s ejaculation is not your job! For more on this, listen to our conversation at 42:05.
How Healing Happens:
After childhood sexual abuse, Melissa is determined to keep unpacking her experiences and shaping a sex life that feels like actual fun. She knows she is blessed with a good partner. She’s sought therapy, and pays attention. She just plain wants better. The search for real joy has become her driving force. “I’m all about breaking generational issues! That’s just me!”
Here a…
Jun 4, 2020
Voices of Color - Raising the volume
This week we put aside the regular episode to feature the stories and voices of women and non-binary folx of color.
The first half of the show calls back to clips from previous Good Girls Talk About Sex interviews:
* 2:01 – Jazz from the episode “Vibrators changed my life”
* 7:12 – Tenisha from the episode “I had to get drunk to have sex”
* 9:59 – Shana from the episode “It was never: I’m ready, let’s do this”
* 12:58 – Maya from the episode “The worse I felt, the more sex I had”
* 15:49 – Michelle from the episode “A throbbing in my nether regions”
The second half of the show features excerpts from podcasts created and hosted by women of color that I think you may enjoy:
* 24:36 – “A Consequence of Being The Strong One” from Courage Hackers with Nesha Frazier
* 26:28 – “When Brands Are Silent, We Stop Supporting” from Brown Girl Self-Care with Bre Mitchell
* 29:55 – Podcast trailer from So-Called Oreos with Kia, Janae…
May 28, 2020
The worse I felt, the more sex I had - Maya
Maya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She shares the frustrations she’s had around religion and how it affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with her husband.
Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married, monogamous with the possibility of some monogamish play, with a young daughter. She was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She was brought up Muslim and describes her body as tall and thicc.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 2:40 – As a girl, Maya thought sexuality was perverted and made fun of it with friends
* 6:00 - Growing up in an Islamic household where sex was a sin, and she wasn’t allowed to date
* 8:30 - Maya describes being chaperoned by her mom on a date to the movies (but her brother was allowed to date without chaperon…
May 21, 2020
Solo – She told me I’m not broken
In part 4 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I ended up doing a six month solo road trip around the country in my car, and talk about the sexual healing I never expected to find while on the road.
In “Am I normal?” we talk about female lubrication – is there such a thing as too much? Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails.
Here are some time markers for this episode:
* 3:09 – Conversation with Jessi
* 28:47 – AM I NORMAL? question – Is it normal that I get so “wet” that I don’t feel much during sex? What can I do about it?
* 29:43 - Leah’s answer – Myth busting about female lubrication, and suggestions for dealing with both excessive lubrication and vaginal dryness
Resources mentioned:
* COVID Confidential video series – https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZPyfFHzvbHbuFG5oAIO5N3-ymiZHq…
May 14, 2020
I resented that my body was attractive to men - Lois
Lois carried shame into her adulthood due to childhood sexual abuse. As an adult, she found healing and had wonderful sex with her current husband, which has dwindled as they’ve gotten older. She talks about her how the abuse affected her relationship with her body and sex, participating in “free love” during the 60s, and her relationship with sex as she has gotten older.
Lois is a 70-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mostly white, straight, married for 38 years, monogamous, and post-menopausal. She has three grown children.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 4:29 – Lois talks about being abused as a child
* 9:20 – Lois’ mother witnessed the abuse and didn’t stop it
* 10:05 – Lois’ experience of sexual shame in the aftermath of the abuse
* 12:45 – Her early consensual sexual experiences, and feelings of extreme guilt.
* 15:00 – The pleasure response that can happen even during abuse
* 17:15 – Coming of ag…
May 7, 2020
Solo – When I went to a Jamaican sex resort
In part 3 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I learned the difference between sensual and sexual touch, learning how to determine and voice my boundaries, and my ongoing battle with body image issues.
Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails.
* 3:05 – Conversation with Jessi
* 23:36 – Preview of “COVID Confidential: Behind closed doors” video series
* 26:39 – AM I NORMAL? question – Is it normal that my libido is higher than my male partner’s?
* 27:00 – Leah’s answer – Myth busting about sex drive/libido, and a discussion of the spectrum of sexual desire
“COVID Confidential” YOUTUBE SERIES: www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
CALL-IN: Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739)
PATREON: Become a community supporter at ww…
Apr 30, 2020
I felt guilty about feeling pleasure - Cathy
As a child, Cathy experienced extended molestation, which caused her to dissociate from her body and feel huge shame about her body. As she grew older, she also gained weight, which left her feeling like no one would ever want her.
In this interview we talk about those early experiences, plus the healing she has done and why she now feels passionate about helping others know that they are lovable and acceptable just as they are.
Cathy is a 52-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, and single with playmates. She describes her body as “round.”
She is the founder of The Intimacy Dojo, which you can find at www.theintimacydojo.com.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 3:37 - Her first memory of sexual pleasure is confusing because she experienced pleasure around age 5 while being abused. The abuse was also confusing because it filled a need for touch and connection.
* 7:15 - The body can respond autonomically t…
Apr 23, 2020
Solo - Learning to say NO before I could say YES
In part 2 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about working through the messaging I received as a child about my body and sexuality, learning to say “no”, and how women protect men’s feelings during heterosexual sex.
Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails.
* 3:20 – Being assaulted by my dad, but not believing it was sexual because his hands didn’t get under my clothing
* 6:07 – Confronting my father about the assault
* 8:49 – Silencing and gaslighting
* 9:41 – Detangling violence and sexuality in my brain
* 14:26 – Learning what consent actually means
* 16:45 – Learning to say “no” so that I could have a real, strong “yes”
* 18:20 – Protecting men’s feelings during heterosexual sex
* 19:24 – The body image work I’ve done
* 21:30 – Conversations I heard about my mother’s body an…
Apr 16, 2020
The ‘queer’ label feels good - Julia
Julia and her partner have agreed to a certain amount of openness in their relationship – openness that they haven’t taken advantage of yet. But their conversations on the topic – and Julia’s clear-headed consideration of the potential pitfalls – provide an amazing example for anyone who is considering opening this door with their partner. In fact, it’s so good that I think it should be required listening!
Julia is a dear friend and I love how deeply she thinks about how we can all be better to ourselves and each other.
Julia Sheldon is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, queer, and monogamish. She grew up in Canada and still lives there with her male partner. You can find her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/juliasheldon.sex.ed
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 3:10 - Her first memory of sexual pleasure, making out and dry humping with friends of both genders. They knew to hide the activity.
* 11:25 - M…
Apr 9, 2020
Solo - I saw a lot of things I didn't understand
Good Girls Talk About Sex is now a weekly show! Every other week you’ll get these shorter solo episodes where I tell bits of my story and answer YOUR questions about sex and sexuality.
Thanks to Jessi Kneeland for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails.
Here are some time markers for this episode:
* 4:57 – Jessi Kneeland interviews Leah
* 5:42 – Leah’s first memory of sexual pleasure, including a significant kink interest
* 11:15 – Looking at her father’s adult magazines that she wasn’t prepared to handle as a child
* 12:55 – Jessi and Leah reminisce about both reading “Clan of the Cave Bear” at ages 10 or 11
* 16:00 – Leah’s sexual confusion in her early 30s
* 17:30 – What did Leah learn about what sex was “supposed to” be like as a kid?
* 19:00 – Leah’s dad’s message to her about getting “fat and ugly”
* 20:…
Apr 2, 2020
Never having sex again would be great – Jillian
Jillian offers us a glimpse into a story that I am intimately familiar with. It’s the story of having huge blank spots in your memory along with an aversion to sex. There’s nothing specific to grab on to so you can say, “This is what happened,” but it’s obvious that something happened.
I usually sit back and let the guests tell their story, but in this instance, Jillian is actively searching for answers and for healing. So in this episode, you’ll hear us doing a bit of exploration and coaching. I offer her a couple of exercises. If her story mirrors your own, you may want to try these exercises as well. Or send me an email and I’ll be happy to offer you some other resources.
Jillian says in this interview that she wanted to share her story so that anyone else out there going through something similar will know that they’re not alone. And I echo that. If you listen to this podcast because you have difficulty with sex and are looking for a way forward, you are not alone…
Mar 19, 2020
Voluptuous Leah & Sex in the age of COVID-19
Voluptuous Leah is a plus-size model and Instagram influencer. At the time this episode is released, she has over 166,000 followers and she regularly posts photos of herself, her adorable dog Luna, cute plus-size fashion, and plus-size lingerie. You can find her on Instagram at Voluptuous Leah and her website at www.VoluptuousLeah.com
Voluptuous Leah is a 31-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, plus-size, and in a new relationship while going through a divorce from her previous husband.
The major theme in this episode is sex as a plus-sized women.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 6:40 – Leah’s first memory of sexual pleasure
* 9:00 – How she broke her ankle because she was looking at a boy that she had a crush with
* 12:15 - Her relationship with her ex-husband and how he fetishized her larger body
* 14:45 – Her new relationship and how he interacts with her and her body
The Lowdown – (15:…
Mar 6, 2020
We are brand-new baby swingers - Brianna (part 2)
Part 2 of our conversation with Brianna! Today she details her recent entrance into the swinger lifestyle with her husband. She spares no details about how they discovered their mutual interest in swinging, their early conversations, and their first experiences. She talks about the state of their relationship and how swinging has affected it, her feelings about monogamy, jealousy, and so much more. If you’ve ever wondered about swinging – DON’T MISS THIS CONVERSATION!
Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children.
Major themes in this episode include exploring swinging.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 4:00 - opening lines of communication with her husband, revealing fantasies
* 5:25 - arriving at the Desire resort
* 5:55 - body insecurity after childbearing
* 7:00 - experiencing role reve…
Mar 5, 2020
I lied about orgasms every time - Brianna (part 1)
(Part 1 of a 2-part episode) Brianna grew up in the Baptist church where she learned that sex was sinful. Today, Brianna talks about her childhood sexual explorations with other little girls, her unfortunate first relationship with a boy, and the beginning of her relationship with her husband, including their recent introduction into the world of swinging.
Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children.
Major themes in this episode include growing up Baptist, learning about consent, discovering bisexuality, and exploring swinging.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 4:10 – Her first memory of sexual desire in first grade while playing “house” with a friend
* 9:10 – Identifying as heterosexual but kissing girls in high school
* 10:25 – Her first sexual experience with a boy in middle school,…
Feb 20, 2020
I've had two abortions and zero regrets - Timari
Timari is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, married and the mother of two children.
She is a listener who contacted me to say that she’d like to talk about her history with abortion, because it hadn’t been addressed much on the show yet. Along the way, we also talk about being raised in the Mormon church, being in an abusive marriage and cheating, and her sex life with her current husband.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 4:40 – Timari’s first memory of being told not to touch herself
* 6:00 – What she considers the benefits of frequent masturbation, especially early in life
* 7:40 – Her first experience with a penis
* 11:00 – The impact of sex ed
* 15:05 – Growing up in a Mormon home
* 19:28 – Timari’s “fuck buddy”
* 23:20 – Feeling empowered by childbirth and sex after giving birth
* 24:50 – Watching her sisters get involved in abusive relationships
* 27:30…
Feb 14, 2020
SOLO Bonus - Update and Valentine's Day
In this short solo episode, Leah talks about what she has learned since spoke to you directly in January - what she affectionately thinks of as her "breakdown" episode. Also: Valentine's Day wishes and good news about the future of the "Good Girls Talk About Sex" podcast!
Feb 6, 2020
I had to get drunk to have sex - Tenisha
Tenisha is a 29-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as black, heterosexual, monogamous, average body type, currently in a relationship, and Christian.
A few months ago, Tenisha interviewed me for her podcast Choose Love. During that conversation, Tenisha mentioned that she was a practicing Christian who chose a period of intentional celibacy as an adult. So of course I wanted to interview her here!
In this conversation she talks about her early conversations in internet chat rooms, needing alcohol in order to have sex, her choice to become celibate at age 23, and the relationship she’s in now.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 6:10 – Tenisha’s first memory of sexual experience – getting kissed by a boy on the bus and being embarrassed
* 8:00 – Tenisha signed on to AOL chatrooms at age 8, pretending to be older
* 12:00 – Her early “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” explorations
* 13:00 – The convergence of mast…
Jan 23, 2020
Vibrators changed my life - Jazz
Jazz is a 31-year-old gender non-conforming, femme-identified person who uses the pronouns "they" and "theirs". They describe themselves as black, polyamorous, and pansexual with an active dating life.
The major theme of this episode is gender. Jazz talks about how genitals are not the be-all-end-all of gender. If all of the recent talk about gender as a spectrum has you confused or uncomfortable, this is the episode to listen to!
Here are some of the notable moments they shared with us:
* 3:55 – Jazz’s “attacks of pleasure” in elementary school
* 7:45 – Their first time masturbating at age 14
* 9:40 – How training as a performer left them disembodied and dissociated
* 13:50 – The emergence of Jazz’s gender non-conforming identity
* 16:10 – What non-binary means
* 19:25 – Jazz’s first boyfriend, including a lack of negotiation and advocacy for themselves
* 24:40 – Discovering vibrators and toys
* 26:10 – Discovering attraction to multiple ki…
Jan 9, 2020
SOLO - I have to put on my own oxygen mask first
In this special episode, Leah talks about her recent slide into anxiety and depression.
The "too long, didn't listen" version is: the podcast will continue on a regular schedule, but I'm taking a step back from everything else to give myself some time to reset and refocus. Also, listener emails mean the world to me, so if you want to send something please do: leah@goodgirlstalkaboutsex.com.
Dec 26, 2019
Year One Celebration - Q&A extravaganza
It's been a year! In this final episode of 2019, we revisit some of our most popular conversations so far.
We've got excerpts from the Q&A portions from episodes featuring Danielle, Betsy, Jessi, and Michelle. Much of this material ended up on the cutting room floor the first time around, so it’s all-new content for regular listeners (Patreon supporters got a sneak peek at these extended conversations when they first came out!)
Information about the 5% BRAVER group coaching process can be found at www.leahcarey.com/brave.
If you’ve got room in your 2020 budget and would like to support female-positive, sex-positive, judgment-free conversations that help us all to shed shame and SAY ALL THE THINGS, I invite you to join the community of supporters at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. For as little as $1/month, you can help make this podcast financially-viable long into the future.
The full episodes for these four conversations can be found:
Danielle - Bad self-esteem but a…
Dec 12, 2019
I had sex with a lot of people while I was married – Lisa
Lisa is a 40-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, currently in a relationship that is heterosexual, monogamous, and long-distance. She has also long been attracted to women and is considering the likelihood that she is bisexual.
Major themes in this episode include body image and eating disorders, sex outside marriage, long distance relationships, and exploring kink.
FOR 5% BRAVER COACHING visit https://www.leahcarey.com/brave/ (the first three people to use the coupon code "goodgirlspod" get $25 off registration!)
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 5:20 – Lisa’s discovery of sexual pleasure in the shower
* 6:45 – Growing up as a gymnast, giving her a heightened sense of body awareness as a kid
* 8:00 – Developing an eating disorder
* 9:45 – Lisa’s first experience of dating and sexual exploration
* 12:40 – “Losing” her virginity
* 14:00 – Having a partner stop penetration when asked
* 16:30 – Having b…
Nov 27, 2019
Secrets are complicated - Sarah
Sarah is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, married, monogamous, and pansexual. She clarified however that while she has experienced attractions to people of all genders, her sexual experiences have been limited to cis-gender males.
Through her teens and early 20s, Sarah dated MUCH older men. She reflects back on those experiences, sorting through the ramifications of her partner choices, including the pressures she felt and how the power differentials in those relationships worked. She is now married to a man her own age and in the second half of the show we talk extensively about the physical difficulties she has with sex and how she and her husband work around them.
Major themes in this episode include the stigma, power dynamics, and secrets involved in dating much older men; physical challenges with sex and difficulty with orgasm; and expanding the definition of what counts as sex.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 3:00…
Nov 14, 2019
A throbbing in my nether regions - Michelle
Michelle is a 42-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as black and married. She is currently sorting through whether she is gay or bisexual, and in the process she and her wife have opened up what was previously a monogamous marriage.
Major themes in this episode include discovering (and re-discovering) sexual orientation, mismatched libido in a marriage, infidelity and honesty within a marriage, and discovering physical desire in her 40s.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 5:35 – Michelle’s first-grade crush on her female teacher
* 10:00 – Michelle’s experience of inappropriate touch at 7 years old
* 11:00 – Michelle’s first kiss in college
* 13:00 – The power dynamic of giving blowjobs
* 14:30 – The cultural taboo of black men giving oral sex to women
* 16:00 – Michelle’s first experience of receiving oral sex and intercourse
* 18:18 – Michelle’s first experience with a woman
* 22:30 – Discomfort with s…
Oct 31, 2019
Is it too late to get what I want? - Jo
Jo is a 58-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heteroflexible, and in a friends-with-benefits situation. She deals with ongoing physical issues that make sex challenging. Her preferred relationship style is “none” – as in, she doesn’t want a defined romantic relationship. Before we started recording she said, “I don’t want to be picking up your socks or do your laundry. I may cook you dinner occasionally, but that’s because I want to cook not because you’re hungry.”
While I did my best to maintain my regular sense of equilibrium during this interview, it was a particularly personal one for me. Jo and I don’t really know each other, but our families have been intertwined for a long time. In order to preserve the privacy of others not on this call, we kept the specifics vague, but we were both curious to find out if we would learn new things about our shared history in this conversation.
Major themes in this episode include preferring to not h…
Oct 17, 2019
No one will f*ck me, I will f*ck them – Shasta
Shasta is a 45-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Canadian First Nation/Cree, heterosexual, monogamous, and married to her husband who she has been with for 20 years.
Major themes in this episode include
* balance of power in heterosexual relationships,
* bedroom boredom in a long-term relationship, and
* working to heal childhood issues as an adult
You can find Shasta online at www.ShastaTownsend.com. Her book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees, is available at Amazon.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 5:30 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, masturbating at age 4
* 8:00 – The challenge of overcoming staleness in the marriage bed
* 9:30 – Rediscovering masturbation as an adult
* 10:30 – Encountering shame and childhood trauma when her husband requested new sexual explorations
* 12:45 – What she learned as a child about being a “good girl”
* 15:00…
Oct 3, 2019
I wish my husband would leave me - Aimee
Aimee is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, and married.
Although Aimee considers herself monogamous, she has recently begun an affair with another man that her husband does not know about. We talk about this extensively in the second half of the episode.
This is a challenging subject, but it’s also real – there are so few places to learn about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality that many people are struggling in unhappy marriages and looking for affirmation and connection outside of their primary bond. I am not condoning cheating or violating relationship agreements, but I hope that you can listen to this conversation with an open heart and hear the pain and distress Aimee is experiencing that has led her to this point.
Major themes in this episode include:
* infidelity and seeking sex outside the marriage
* lack of sexual communication
* erectile dysfunction
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
* 5:…
Sep 19, 2019
I'm the funny one, not the pretty one – Erin
Erin is a 34-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as queer, in a new relationship, she isn’t certain of her preferred relationship style.
Erin deals with OCD, plus related mental conditions that cause her to pull her hair (Trichotillomania) and pick her skin (Dermatillomania). Those conditions cause her nervousness when exposing herself with a new partner.
Major themes in this episode include being queer, OCD, and exploring sex in adulthood.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 3:25 - Feeling the tingle watching animated cartoons
* 6:10 - Growing up in a progressive culture
* 10:30 – The lack of good sex education, even in a progressive city
* 13:20 – Erin’s first time having sex
* 16:00 – The dreaded moment of receiving oral from a boyfriend who didn’t like doing it
* 18:00 – Basing her teen body image on being the “funny one”
* 19:30 – How getting tattoos as an adult has helped Erin to embrace her body
* 23:20…
Sep 5, 2019
I thought I couldn't orgasm - Martyna
Martyna is a 29-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up in Poland and now lives in South Africa.
Martyna deals with depression, and she talks today about how that has affected her relationships and sex. She also talks about how the season 1 STARS episode affected her thinking about how to talk about consent. You can find that episode at https://www.leahcarey.com/podcast/episode-8a-bonus-the-stars-conversation
Major themes in this episode include depression, learning about consent as an adult, and exploring BDSM.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 4:30 – Martyna’s first sexual experiences – by herself riding pillows, then playing with another little girl
* 6:40 – The lessons she learned growing up Polish Catholic
* 8:30 – Securing contraception in secret
* 10:30 – Growing up with an alcoholic and emotionally abusive mom, and her teen rebellion
* 11:30 – Marty…
Aug 8, 2019
Sex is like Domino's Pizza - Margot
Margot is a 39-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as black, British, bisexual and currently in an open, long-distance relationship.
She also travels widely and lives for extended periods in other parts of the world, giving her insight into different sexual cultures around the world.
Major themes in this episode include open relationships, later-in-life sexual explorations, and learning about sexuality in a culture that was not open about the subject.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 9:20 – Margot’s first experience of intercourse
* 13:15 – Exploring sex post-divorce
* 16:30 – Her relationship with her body and how it is changing with aging
* 18:03 – Navigating an open relationship
* 27:00 – The questions and communication that are required in their open relationship
* 29:00 – The boundaries and agreements Margot has with her partner to make their open relationship work
* 31:30 – Margot’s experience of body image…
Aug 1, 2019
I saw myself through the male gaze - Diana
Diana is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married and monogamous.
Diana had a traumatic birth with her older son, which led to a disconnection from her body and her pleasure. She was able to have a vaginal birth with her younger child, which helped reconnect her with her body and sexuality.
Major themes in this episode include sexuality after trauma from childbirth and reclaiming your body after motherhood.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 10:30 – Diana’s first sexual experience
* 13:30 – Masturbation as an important component of self care
* 14:45 – Diana’s belief that everybody masturbates and how she’s handling it with her young sons
* 18:30 – Diana’s experience with consent in a long-term relationship
* 19:45 – The messages she heard about sex growing up in a conservative Christian home
* 21:45 – Diana’s relationship with her body and the impact of the male gaze
* 24:00 – F…
Jul 25, 2019
There’s something to be said for having tits - Davina
Davina Bookbinder is a 33-year-old, transgender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, queer, polyamorous and actively dating.
Major themes in this episode include being transgender, discovering and navigating gender identity, and sex as a trans woman.
This episode is extra long because there's just SOOOO much great material!
Davina is a good friend and she and I have had long conversations about gender in general and her gender in particular. It is because she and I have developed a foundation of trust that I'm able to ask questions that we wouldn't normally ask. PLEASE KNOW that many of the questions I ask in this interview are NOT questions that are appropriate to ask a trans person in regular conversation. But that's true of all the conversations on this show, right?!? I ask deeply personal questions that you would never think to ask someone at a dinner party. The problem for trans people is that there is such curiosity around their bodies and their genitals that people e…
Jul 18, 2019
I feel like my belly’s too big – Jane
Jane is a 36-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heteroflexible, monogamous and with a partner of three years.
Jane went to Catholic School while she was growing up in Scotland and in her family she learned that certain topics should never be discussed – including sex.
Major themes in this episode include difficulty in communicating about sex, body image and sex, and exploring BDSM.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 9:00 – The meager sex ed classes Jane received in Catholic school
* 14:00 – How Jane found access to contraception
* 15:30 – Jane’s relationship to her body and how it has changed over time
* 21:30 – Jane’s personal “Dementors” and how they impact every aspect of her life
* 25:00 – Jane’s struggles with communicating with partners about body image issues
* 30:00 – Difficulty communicating about sex and her desires
* 32:00 – Jane and her partner’s explorations into kinkier sex and BDS…
Jul 11, 2019
When we started to explore kink – Betsy
Betsy is a 38-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and in a relationship.
Betsy had sex for the first time at age 27, and after a brief period of one-night-stands, married a man whose sexual desires were significantly different than hers. She says her naturally high libido was “beat right out of me.” Today, divorced and reclaiming her sexuality, Betsy is with a new partner and exploring her long-suppressed interest in BDSM.
Last year Betsy came to me to do sexual communication coaching. She tells some of that story in this episode.
Major themes in this episode include exploring new sexual realms (with support from a coach), navigating a changing relationship with her body, and BDSM.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 7:00 – How Betsy started to feel better in her body by doing a sexy dance workout
* 9:30 – Her relief at losing her virginity at age 27
* 14:00 – Betsy joins the bar scene and has sex wit…
Jul 3, 2019
Masturbation was more sinful than sex – Shelly
Shelly is a 44-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, lesbian, living with her girlfriend and monogamous. She grew up in the Mormon church, got married and had seven children as she was expected to do. Then several years ago she started questioning her faith and left the church. She then realized that she’s also a lesbian, which is an extreme no-no in the Mormon church.
Major themes in this episode include the interplay of Mormonism and lesbianism, and recovering from guilt and shame from rejecting childhood teachings.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 7:00 – As a teenager, having to “confess” all sexual activity and thoughts to an older male bishop
* 12:00 – How consent is impacted when alcohol is involved
* 14:00 – Shelly’s earliest experience of same-sex attraction
* 17:30 – Opening to curiosity around lesbianism while letting go of the disgust she had been taught
* 20:00 – The difference in intimacy shared be…
Jun 27, 2019
We have sex about once a month - Laina
Laina is a 33-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as Chinese, heterosexual, married, and monogamous.
Laina has one child and struggles with body image. She believes that nobody would want to have sex with her, and that her husband only does it because she’s his only option.
Major themes in this episode include body image, libido, and changes in sexuality after giving birth.
Here are some of the great moments Laina shared with us:
* 3:00 – The objectification of Asian women in culture and media
* 7:33 – Connecting pleasure to sex and sexuality
* 8:20 – How media conditions us to find women attractive and a sexual turn-on
* 13:30 – It’s okay to have varying levels of sex drive, even to the point of demi-sexuality
* 17:30 – Laina’s husband told her he wishes they had more sex
* 20:40 – Different types of turn-ons, like feeling warm and safe during cuddling
* 25:25 – How Laina’s body image impacts her sex life
* 31:16 – How Laina’s…
Jun 20, 2019
Exploring queer sex - Jessi (the return)
Jessi Kneeland is a 32-year old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, bisexual, single, and monogamish.
Jessi gets up-close and VERY personal about her recent explorations into sex with women. This is Jessi’s second appearance on the show and she is the body image coach who has supported me through my own sexual exploration over the past few years. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram @JessiKneeland.
You can find her writing on queer sex HERE.
You can find my season 1 conversation with Jessi HERE.
The major theme of this episode is Jessi’s detailing her first serious explorations into queer sex and partnering with women.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 5:12 – Realizing that not everyone is attracted to all types of people and bodies
* 6:26 – What does hetero-romantic mean?
* 11:20 – How she dresses and presents herself determines the people who are attracted to her
* 15:00 – How people socialize…
Jun 13, 2019
I don’t know if I was ever sexually gratified - Inez
Inez is a 32-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married with children, and monogamous.
Inez is dealing with chronic illness and is in a currently sexless marriage.
Topics covered in this interview include: recovering personal pleasure after abuse/trauma, body image, chronic illness and its impact on sexual activity, and how a partner's mental health diagnosis impacts the relationship.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 5:40 - How it felt as an adult to tell her father about childhood sexual abuse
* 8:50 - The culture difference around sex between the Midwest of the United States vs. the west coast
* 12:33 - Discovering she was pregnant while on drugs
* 18:00 - How weight fluctuations affect her experience of sexuality
* 29:50 - How a partner having short stamina can be desirable for a survivor of sexual abuse
* 31:30 - How her partner violated consent and led to her feeling unsafe and cutting off sexual contact…
Jun 6, 2019
Bad self-esteem but a great body – Danielle
Danielle is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, heteroflexible, married and monogamous.
Danielle and her husband Adam host the podcast Marriage and Martinis, where they explore every hilarious, heartfelt, shocking, embarrassing, and completely inappropriate facet of marriage and parenting.
Major themes in this episode include how OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) affected Danielle’s early experience of sex, how we allow our assumptions of what other people think affect our actions and decisions, and how sex changes after marriage and kids.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 4:16 – Making out with boys in 7th grade for a sense of belonging rather than pleasure
* 8:20 – Danielle’s experience with a type of OCD called scrupulosity
* 12:50 – The cultural pressure to lose our virginity
* 16:00 – The mismatch between Danielle’s body image and how her body actually looked
* 21:30 – Does the number of par…
May 30, 2019
It was never: I'm ready, let's do this - Shana
Shana is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as biracial (half black/half white), heterosexual, monogamous and currently in a relationship.
Major themes explored in this episode include healing from old hurts, learning about consent, and discovering our own pleasure, rather than just focusing on pleasing our partner.
Here are some of the great moments Shana shared with us:
* 3:35 – How she came to relate running late to eroticism
* 9:48 – Her first sexual experience, and how it conditioned her to not trust white men
* 18:38 – The moment Shana first had intercourse and why it was so devastating … and why she pretended it was okay
* 21:30 – Why Shana has never felt comfortable calling that experience rape
* 27:27 – The expectation that women are supposed to please their partner and not ask for anything
* 28:18 – The conversation she had with her current lover after their first time having sex
* 32:00 – How tenderness and masculinity go h…
May 23, 2019
Season 2 Trailer
Season 2 of Good Girls Talk About Sex is almost here! It begins Thursday, May 30! Make sure you've subscribed in your favorite podcast app so you don't miss a single episode. Here's to your better sex life!
Apr 18, 2019
Minisode with Reema Zaman
Welcome to a between-the-seasons mini episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex!
Reema Zaman is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Bangladeshi, heterosexual, monogamous, and single. Because her father was a diplomat, Reema lived in many countries during her growing-up years. She came to the United States by herself at age 18 with a dream of being an actress. She released the book I Am Yours in February 2019. It is the story of reclaiming her voice after years of trauma and abuse.
I spoke with Reema ahead of the release of her book, but for technical reasons we weren’t able to release the full interview as part of the regular season. But I’ve been able to pull together some portions of the interview to share with you today.
Here's the info on entering the contest to receive one of my favorite sex toys:
* Go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review and rating of Good Girls Talk About Sex.
* Take a screen shot of your review, and email it to me at Leah@GoodGirlsTa…
Apr 4, 2019
Season One finale - The Quick Five extravaganza
It's the season one finale of Good Girls Talk About Sex!
When I began this podcast, I had the typical fears - primarily, I wasn't sure it was any good! I've been overwhelmed and humbled and so grateful for the responses I've gotten back from you, dear friends. I've had feedback from people telling me deep, personal stories about changes they've made and things they've learned as a result of this podcast. Nothing could make me happier!
Thanks to every one of you who has reached out to me publicly or privately. I am so grateful to know that you're out there and listening. It's what makes me excited to be working on SEASON TWO as we speak, because I know it's valuable to you.
My goal in doing this podcast is to help all of us - myself included! - understand that whatever we enjoy is okay.
To that end, on each regular episode I ask the guest a series of rapid fire Q&A for The Quick Five. Not all of those answers have been broadcast. This episode is a compilation of those answers.
I ho…
Mar 28, 2019
Submission is a gift because it’s hard - Amy
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Amy, a 47-year-old cis-gendered white woman who describes herself as bisexual and married.
I was interested in talking with Amy because she teased me with this bit of info: after being with her partner for almost 30 years, they discovered a previously undisclosed mutual interest in a new sexual adventure. How did they go for so long without discovering this shared interest? She tells us in this conversation.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 6:44 – The librarian whose support allowed her to dive into more adult material than other kids her age
* 10:20 – How Amy handled getting her first period
* 13:58 – The young man Amy chose for her first sexual experience
* 21:14 – The boundaries that Amy and her husband set for their relationship when they were in college, and how that has developed over the 20+ years of their marriage
* 27:22 – How Amy discovered her submissive side
* 39:02…
Mar 21, 2019
I warned him that I’m a plus-size girl – Elizabeth
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Elizabeth, a cis-gendered white woman in a monogamous heterosexual relationship who is approaching 40.
Elizabeth has an active sex life with her male partner, which includes pegging. While that is something that might be considered relatively common in some circles, for others it is out on the fringes of “normal” sexual activity. Elizabeth opens up about how they got into it, why she loves it, and why it’s scary to admit to when living in a small, conservative town.
Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:
* 7:18 – Her teenage “practice partner” who helped her learn about hand jobs, blow jobs and more
* 11:38 – What her ex-husband said to her when she expressed sexual desires
* 18:23 – Why she feels self-conscious during oral sex as a plus-size woman
* 23:10 – Why anal sex is something she thinks can bring the genders together
* 31:06 – Why wearing a strap-on penis doesn’t make h…
Mar 14, 2019
I’m trans and here’s why it’s awesome – Trystan
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Trystan Reese, a transgender white man in a monogamous gay marriage who is 35 years old. In 2017, Trystan gave birth to a baby conceived with his husband Biff. Their story has been shared in People Magazine, CNN, Cosmo and more. You can find them online at BiffAndI.com.
While Trystan has been living as a man for the past 15 years, he was raised and socialized as a female for his first 18 years. That gives him an intimate understanding of both sides of the gender spectrum – including insight into which aspects are biological or hormonal and which are societal.
Here are some of the great moments he shared with us:
* 10:20 – The conversations gay men have BEFORE they start dating that other couples don’t (but should!) have
* 17:35 – An important thing we can learn from Trystan’s strategy of revealing that he’s trans
* 21:30 – Why our relationship to our body is more important than the shape of our body when…
Mar 7, 2019
Sex scenes in movies turn me on – Yaz
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Yaz, a 30-year-old who describes herself as half-Persian/half-European, polyamorous, and single.
I wanted to interview Yaz because I recently saw her describe herself this way: “My assets include diversity (I am genderqueer, pansexual, a person of color, fat, and make under $30,000/year), a playful attitude (I am really a kid in an adult body), and a know-how of holding space for those whose voices get lost in the shuffle.”
Here are some of the great moments we shared with Yaz:
* 6:24 – Discovering the delights of the shower and bathtub faucet
* 9:18 – Discovering porn and movie sex scenes
* 15:14 – Yaz defines gender queer, pansexual, and gender non-conforming as she experiences them
* 17:15 – How being fat has affected her experience of sexuality
* 26:18 – Her first experience of penetrative sex … and what happened when she realized she wasn’t ready
* 31:20 – The STARS talk (as featured in E…
Feb 28, 2019
Sex workers are selling a fantasy – Kate
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Kate, a cis-gendered white woman in a monogamous heterosexual marriage who is 37 years old. Kate is a stripper in Portland, Oregon.
I met her one afternoon when I visited Sassy’s with a friend of hers and she sat down to chat with us between sets.
The first thing I noticed about Kate was that even though I had just seen her dancing naked on a pole, she was one of the most articulate and intelligent women I'd met in a long time. She forced me to come face-to-face with my own judgments about sex workers.
Here are some of the great moments Kate shared with us:
* 5:34 – The conversation in Kate’s childhood home about sexuality
* 16:19 – Why being the “pursuer” in a romantic relationship felt empowering for Kate as a teenager
* 28:55 – How Kate got into dancing
* 31:49 - The different degrees of sex work
* 35:15 – Why creating a fantasy is the larger part of sex work
* 36:50 – The different sexual p…
Feb 21, 2019
The STARS method
In this special bonus episode, Dr. Evelin Dacker explains the STARS method she created. It’s an easy-to-remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex.
But I don’t want you to just get the theory behind the conversation, I want you to hear it in practice! So I invited my friend Ray to join me for a sample STARS conversation that you’ll get to hear about halfway through this episode.
* 1:26 – What is sex positivity?
* 4:00 – The lack of conversation about sex in the medical profession
* 5:00 – An overview of what the letters in STARS stand for
* 6:50 – Leah’s experience with STARS
Breaking down the STARS conversation:
* 9:07 – STI Status
* 10:32 – Turn Ons
* 11:13 – Avoids
* 12:18 – Relationship intentions
* 13:55 – Safer sex practices
A sample STARS conversation:
* 16:48 – Introducing Ray
* 17:51– STI Status
* 20:35 – Turn Ons and avoids
* 27:56 – Relationship intentions (for the…
Feb 21, 2019
My sex education came from Judy Blume – Evelin
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Dr. Evelin Dacker, a cis-gender half-Mexican, half-Jewish polyamorous woman who is 53 years old.
Evelin is a sex-positive physician in Eugene, Oregon and the CEO of Sex Positive Portland, an organization dedicated to understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality. She is also the creator of the STARS Talk, a format for talking about your sexuality and preferences so that we can ALL have more satisfying sexual encounters with both current and new partners.
* 3:30 – Evelin’s history with masturbation from the time she was a baby
* 5:45 – Judy Blume’s books as sex education
* 6:45 – How the ability to self-pleasure replaced a desire for sex as a teenager
* 7:45 – Learning compersion
* 8:38 – Distinguishing between open relationships and cheating
* 9:34 – The relationship Evelin defines as “primary”
* 11:46 – Meeting her spouse on a beach in Thailand
* 12:42 – What is NRE? (Hint…
Feb 14, 2019
Attention came with a price tag – Jessi
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talked with Jessi Kneeland, a 31-year-old cis-gendered white woman who is bisexual, monogamous, and currently single.
Jessi is a coach, speaker, writer, and altogether kickass person who is passionate about helping women to understand their bodies and their sexuality. She is the coach who has stood with me through my sexual exploration and reclaiming my body. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram at @jessikneeland
Here are some of the amazing moments she shared with us:
* 4:54 – The lesson Jessi learned at age 7 about what it meant to desire male attention
* 7:18 – The lessons she learned about body image in her young life
* 12:00 – How confusing it is for people who were assaulted as children and didn’t understand that it was assault at the time, and how important it is to give accurate language to those experiences
* 14:30 – The ways Jessi went about healing from childhood assault
* 16…
Feb 7, 2019
Most people don’t assume I’m gay – Jenna
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Jenna, a 34-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as white, lesbian, monogamous, and engaged to be married.
Jenna knew from an early age that she was attracted to women, and jokes that she “experimented with boys” when she was in her early 20s. The sex life she shares with her fiancée is helping Jenna to sort through and release some of the sexual trauma she experienced earlier in her life.
Here are some of the great moments Jenna shared:
* 2:27 - The first time Jenna realized she was attracted to breasts
* 12:50 - How she felt when her father compared lesbianism to alcoholism and drug addiction
* 27:15 - How women are required to remember every detail of an assault from years ago when most of us don’t remember what we had for breakfast
* 32:20 - The important place masturbation holds in Jenna’s relationship with her partner
* 34:32 - The positive connotation Jenna now has for the words “go…
Jan 31, 2019
I made out with a cousin in the closet - Stacey
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Stacey, a 45-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as black, heterosexual, single, and non-monogamous.
While some may know the term ethical non-monogamy, it’s still not spoken about often in social circles. That can lead to the misconception that it’s rare, when in fact people of all types – and even in the most conservative communities – are engaging in various forms of open relationships. Stacey is totally down-to-earth, so she’s a great person to ease us into this conversation the first time. And stick around for the Quick Five, because Stacey gives an amazing lesson on how to become multi-orgasmic!
Here are some of the great moments Stacey shared:
* 5:18 - Learning how to kiss with a cousin
* 13:30 - The lack of affection in her childhood home
* 15:45 - How her father’s emotional absence affects Stacey in her adult relationships
* 23:12 - Raising a daughter to believe in her own sexual e…
Jan 24, 2019
Because I was a good girl – Terri
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Terri, a 32-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as Pakistani, straight, married and monogamous.
Terri was born in Pakistan and for the first ten years of her life, she lived in a culture where physical affection was not seen and it was assumed she would have an arranged marriage. When her family moved to the United States, everything changed. Terri provides us with a fascinating glimpse into what it’s like to live with a foot in two worlds.
Here are some of the great moments Terri shared:
* [3:00] – Why it wasn’t even okay for her to watch a kiss in an animated movie like Aladdin
* [8:45] – The explicit message she got from a boy, while her parents didn’t even want her to be friends with a boy
* [14:55] – How she and her Muslim girlfriends covered for each other when they went out on dates
* [30:25] – The “freaky” things she did with her boyfriends
* [38:42] – How she is raising…
Jan 17, 2019
My husband was offended by my dildo – Sharon
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Sharon, a 58-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as Caucasian, straight, single and monogamous.
Sharon opens up about her night of many firsts: first date, first kiss, and first unwanted sexual experience. This episode celebrates the pleasures of solo sex and remaining sexual while growing older.
Here are some of the great moments Sharon shared:
* [4:18] – The fateful phone call that could have been for Sharon or her sister
* [11:41] – The book her parents gave her in lieu of talking to her about sex
* [13:23] – The best piece of advice Sharon ever got about sex
* [20:45] – How getting older is affecting her body’s physical response (but she’s still multi-orgasmic!)
* [27:42] – The death of one of Sharon’s sex toys and having to buy a new one
* [35:53] – THE QUICK FIVE
Mentioned in this episode:
She Bop – A women-owned sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon
If you’d like to…
Jan 17, 2019
He said we could never tell anybody – Meagan
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Meagan, a 36-year-old, cis-gendered woman who describes herself as Hispanic, straight, single and monogamous.
Meagan talks frankly about her childhood explorations of sexuality, how she felt culpable for the things that happened to her as a teenager because she looked older than she was, and why she has taken time off from dating and sex as an adult.
Here are some of the great moments Meagan shared:
* [2:40] – Sharing her mom’s vibrator with friends during a sleepover
* [5:45] – Why her first kiss grossed her out and made her feel ashamed
* [11:47] – Learning to feel pleasure … long after she’d started having sex
* [19:10] – Why Meagan has always thought of herself as a “bad girl”
* [24:00] – A former boss who Meagan believes preys on strong women
* [39:12] – THE QUICK FIVE
The interviews for this podcast usually last at least twenty minutes longer than we have space to fit into an episode.…
Jan 17, 2019
My boobs aren’t an erogenous zone – Liz
In the very first episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Liz, a 37-year-old, cis-gendered white woman who is single, heterosexual, and monogamous.
When it came to exploring her sexuality, Liz took her time – while all her friends were gossiping about their boyfriends and hookups as teenagers, Liz knew she wasn’t ready to lose control. As a single woman, she now has sex occasionally while she waits to find love.
Here are some of the great moments Liz shared:
* [5:30] – Her mom’s unforgettable description of giving birth
* [9:10] – Her first Spin The Bottle kiss, gone very wrong
* [20:46] – Using condoms during oral sex
* [27:36] – Playing with remote control vibrators in public
* [29:48] – What it means to feel sexy
* [36:26] – THE QUICK FIVE
The interviews for this podcast usually last at least a half hour longer than we have space to fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of the interview including a more i…
Dec 30, 2018
Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast trailer
IT’S COMING!!!!!!
I’ve been working on this podcast for over a year and I’m SOOOO excited to finally be sharing it with you!
Here’s a sneak peek into the conversations we’ll be sharing in the first season of Good Girls Talk About Sex……