I thought I couldn't orgasm - Martyna
Play • 45 min

Martyna is a 29-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up in Poland and now lives in South Africa.

Martyna deals with depression, and she talks today about how that has affected her relationships and sex. She also talks about how the season 1 STARS episode affected her thinking about how to talk about consent. You can find that episode at https://www.leahcarey.com/podcast/episode-8a-bonus-the-stars-conversation

Major themes in this episode include depression, learning about consent as an adult, and exploring BDSM.

Here are some of the great moments she shared with us:

  • 4:30 – Martyna’s first sexual experiences – by herself riding pillows, then playing with another little girl
  • 6:40 – The lessons she learned growing up Polish Catholic
  • 8:30 – Securing contraception in secret
  • 10:30 – Growing up with an alcoholic and emotionally abusive mom, and her teen rebellion
  • 11:30 – Martyna’s sense of shame around losing her virginity
  • 13:55 – Finding herself sexually, her exploration on the rebound
  • 15:30 – Martyna’s first experience of real consent conversations and the play that lead to her sexual awakening
  • 21:25 – Her intro to BDSM
  • 25:00 – Her masturbation to achieve orgasm when it wasn’t present in sex
  • 26:00 – How depression has affected her sex life
  • 31:20 – The relief of giving up control during sex
  • 32:45 – More specific details about her sexual activities with her current partner


Quick 5:

  • 37:00 - What is a fantasy you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t yet?
  • 38:55 - What’s the kinkiest thing you enjoy?
  • 40:20 - Do you swallow or not?
  • 41:51 - Do you enjoy direct stimulation to your clit?
  • 42:18 - How do you feel when a partner loses or can’t get an erection?


The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • At the $1/month level, there’s an extended conversation about how the culture of different countries plays into gender roles and relationship expectations
  • At the $5/month level, Martyna talks more about the specifics of her BDSM activities with her partner
  • At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A
  • At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything!

Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2.

Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you!

To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching

Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak

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