The STARS method
Play • 35 min

In this special bonus episode, Dr. Evelin Dacker explains the STARS method she created. It’s an easy-to-remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex.

But I don’t want you to just get the theory behind the conversation, I want you to hear it in practice! So I invited my friend Ray to join me for a sample STARS conversation that you’ll get to hear about halfway through this episode. 

  • 1:26 – What is sex positivity?
  • 4:00 – The lack of conversation about sex in the medical profession
  • 5:00 – An overview of what the letters in STARS stand for
  • 6:50 – Leah’s experience with STARS

Breaking down the STARS conversation:

  • 9:07 – STI Status
  • 10:32 – Turn Ons
  • 11:13 – Avoids
  • 12:18 – Relationship intentions
  • 13:55 – Safer sex practices

A sample STARS conversation:

  • 16:48 – Introducing Ray
  • 17:51– STI Status
  • 20:35 – Turn Ons and avoids
  • 27:56 – Relationship intentions (for the sake of clarity – this conversation was taped last summer, prior to entering a monogamous relationship with my current partner who you have heard me references in episodes that were taped more recently)
  • 31:16 – Safer sex practices

You can find much more about the STARS method at You can find Dr. Evelin Dacker at

More episodes
Clear search
Close search
Google apps
Main menu