Shasta is a 45-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Canadian First Nation/Cree, heterosexual, monogamous, and married to her husband who she has been with for 20 years.
Major themes in this episode include
- balance of power in heterosexual relationships,
- bedroom boredom in a long-term relationship, and
- working to heal childhood issues as an adult
You can find Shasta online at www.ShastaTownsend.com. Her book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees, is available at Amazon.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
- 5:30 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, masturbating at age 4
- 8:00 – The challenge of overcoming staleness in the marriage bed
- 9:30 – Rediscovering masturbation as an adult
- 10:30 – Encountering shame and childhood trauma when her husband requested new sexual explorations
- 12:45 – What she learned as a child about being a “good girl”
- 15:00 – The messages we hear about being a smart and outspoken female
- 17:00 – Using sexual dominance as a protective measure, sexual prowess as power over men
- 21:00 – The cultural balance in wanting men to pursue women and ask for things vs. men being perceived as aggressive/entitled
- 25:00 – Shasta’s experience with body image—being the “smart one” but also flaunting/accentuating what you have
- 32:00 – Trying new things with her husband to break barriers around shame and stories
The Lowdown (34:40):
- What kind of touch do you enjoy most?
- What is something sexual you’ve done that you never want to do again?
- Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
- Have you ever had a threesome or more?
- Have you ever had public sex?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
- At the $5/month level, Shasta talks more about her First Nation/Indigenous background and what it was like to grow up as a mixed race child in Canada. She also talks about the messages she heard about being a “good girl.”
- At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A
- At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything!
Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2.
Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you!
To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music by – Nazar Rybak