No one will f*ck me, I will f*ck them – Shasta
Play • 39 min

Shasta is a 45-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Canadian First Nation/Cree, heterosexual, monogamous, and married to her husband who she has been with for 20 years.

Major themes in this episode include

  • balance of power in heterosexual relationships,
  • bedroom boredom in a long-term relationship, and
  • working to heal childhood issues as an adult

You can find Shasta online at Her book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees, is available at Amazon.

Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:

  • 5:30 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, masturbating at age 4
  • 8:00 – The challenge of overcoming staleness in the marriage bed
  • 9:30 – Rediscovering masturbation as an adult
  • 10:30 – Encountering shame and childhood trauma when her husband requested new sexual explorations
  • 12:45 – What she learned as a child about being a “good girl”
  • 15:00 – The messages we hear about being a smart and outspoken female
  • 17:00 – Using sexual dominance as a protective measure, sexual prowess as power over men
  • 21:00 – The cultural balance in wanting men to pursue women and ask for things vs. men being perceived as aggressive/entitled
  • 25:00 – Shasta’s experience with body image—being the “smart one” but also flaunting/accentuating what you have
  • 32:00 – Trying new things with her husband to break barriers around shame and stories


The Lowdown (34:40):

  • What kind of touch do you enjoy most?
  • What is something sexual you’ve done that you never want to do again?
  • Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
  • Have you ever had a threesome or more?
  • Have you ever had public sex?


The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • At the $5/month level, Shasta talks more about her First Nation/Indigenous background and what it was like to grow up as a mixed race child in Canada. She also talks about the messages she heard about being a “good girl.”
  • At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A
  • At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything!

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To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit

Host – Leah Carey (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music by – Nazar Rybak

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