I think I had a crush on a woman - Coaching Caitlin
Play • 45 min

Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. Caitlin is divorced and currently in a friends-with-benefits heterosexual relationship. She and Leah had discussed fantasies and BDSM in previous private sessions; here they focus on Caitlin’s new (or perhaps not new?) sexual attraction to women, and how she might begin to explore that in real life.

 

Bookmark moments:

 

  • 2:15 - Leah explains what coaching does—and doesn’t—involve. She introduces Caitlin, the coach-ee!
  • 4:44 - Caitlin catches Leah up on a big realization she’s had since their last coaching sessions: she’s sexually curious about women too.
  • 10:21 - Leah helps Caitlin hone in on whether her attraction to women is a leftover effect of our hyper-sexualized-female-form-loving culture, or a deeper sexual attraction.
  • 14:40 - The conversation turns to fantasies; they’re a great way to safely explore new thoughts and desires. Erotica is another.
  • 16:51 - What “pansexual” means.
  • 19:31 - Dating women can feel new to women. Leah assures Caitlin that the rules are basically the same: “Don’t be an asshole.” Also, exploring sex with a new-to-you gender can feel like a second puberty.
  • 23:34 - When navigating COVID risks with dating apps, be clear up front about your risk tolerance and boundaries.
  • 26:55 - There are some sensitivities to know about for women who are new to dating women. Leah talks about bi vs lesbian. Also, there’s a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction.
  • 33:40 - Threesomes can be a fun way to try sex with a woman, if approached with sensitivity. Leah recommends more resources.
  • 36:39 - They talk about how to find someone who wants to explore with you on the dating apps.
  • 40:30 - Leah talks more about what coaching looks and feels like, in solo and group options.

 

Resources mentioned:

  • Erotica collections – I recommend the collections edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
  • Literotica – A site featuring erotica submitted by primarily amateur writers. I love it because no matter what your interest or fetish is, someone is writing about it here.  Because it’s all amateur, though, you may have to wade through a bunch of stories that are terribly written before you hit on one that tickles your fancy!  Start by searching the tags for topics that interest you - https://tags.literotica.com (be aware that this site does show ads from porn sites so it is NSFW, but the pictures are generally not X-rated)

 

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As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE!  They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex

I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

 

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Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!

 

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WORK WITH LEAH:

Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching

 

Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak

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