The Studleys
The Studleys
Jan 25, 2021
MARRIAGE: Hal Elrod & The Miracle Morning
Play • 52 min

Today Seth and I called up one of our heroes, Hal Elrod, author of The Miracle Morning, and probably one of the most influential people in saving and transforming our marriage. Hal shares how his death at the age of 20 was the pathway to the new mission-driven life that he now leads, and how beating cancer three years ago has only strengthened his desire to help those in need.

 

LINKS

https://www.thestudleys.com/

https://www.patreon.com/m/thestudleys

High Performance Coaching: https://www.thestudleys.com/coaching

To find a virtual counselor visit http://getfaithful.com/anatomyofmarriage

Delight Your Marriage | Sexual Intimacy, Relationship Advice, & Christianity
Delight Your Marriage | Sexual Intimacy, Relationship Advice, & Christianity
Belah Rose | Author, Podcaster, & Marital Intimacy Enthusiast
277-Her Disinterest Transformed to Desire, When HE Changed. Testimonial with Jeremiah.
Today’s interview is with Jeremiah, a graduate of my Masculinity Reclaimed program. They had a pretty good marriage. And originally their sex life was pretty good, but life happened… Like many of my listeners, once kids came into the picture things began to deteriorate in that department. She no longer felt emotionally connected and he no longer felt fulfilled intimately. Jeremiah realized he was only getting out of his marriage what he was putting into it; it was not actually all her fault. So, he set out on a journey of self exploration, enrolled in Masculinity Reclaimed, learned how to emotionally connect with his wife, and slowly but surely progress began to follow. At one point he basically says -- honestly, I thought the men you interviewed of their success through your program were paid actors… until it happened to our sex life! But most importantly he shares in this episode the specific shifts he made in himself that transformed their intimacy. Join me as we dive into how Jeremiah went from somewhat stale and obligatory intimacy to deep, emotionally fulfilling lovemaking (where she initiated even 2x in one day!) Be inspired--be encouraged--get motivated! Blessings, Belah PS If you’re a man, you’ll really want to sign up for this free training “Men’s Masterclass” at the end of March 2021 at delightyourmarriage.com/menstraining If you’re a woman you can attend a free class all about confidence in intimacy — which will be available for a limited time go to delightyourmarriage.com/sc If you’d like to find other free resources go to delightyourmarriage.com/free
23 min
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
Spiritual Safety and Sexual Intimacy: You Can Have Both!
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a questions submitted by a listener— "Can you discuss the dynamic of being the spouse of an addict who is not a believer? In my marriage there has been sexual addiction and he is 2 1/2 years into recovery/sobriety but we are now dealing with the dynamic of a sexless marriage. How can we make the transition to a healthy sexual connection void of a spiritual connection?" First, we need to be clear about what "healthy sex" is and is not. (for a deeper dive on this, see PBSE episode #23: Healthy vs. Toxic Sex) -  Healthy sex begins with a strong emotional/spiritual connection. It's all about "what you bring with you." -  Seeking to understand and then to be understood. -  Focus/appreciation on your partner as a "whole" as opposed to selective "parts." -  Physical intimacy is a gauged physical expression of a point on the Connection Spectrum. Second, we also need to be clear about "Spirituality" vs. "Religiosity." -  Religion is an institution/organization of spiritual concepts, doctrines, structure, ordinances, core tenets, etc. Spirituality is the "relationship accompaniment" to religion. Religion gives me a definition of God; Spirituality is coming to know and communing with God. -  Healthy Sexual Intimacy is a coming together of physical bodies AND spiritual bodies. A key to a truly connection relationship is finding the "commonalities" and "intersection" of our individual spiritual beliefs/worlds. A true coming together. Find out more about Steve Moore at:  *Ascension Counseling* Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  *Reclaim Counseling Services** *Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction* *Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction* *Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn
31 min
Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Bonny Burns, Gaye Christmus, J Parker, and Chris Taylor
Enjoying Sex
Sex therapist and educator Joyce Penner joins us to talk about learning to enjoy sex more. Why do some women have a hard time seeing sexual intimacy as a gift? And what can these women do to pursue the enjoyment of sex with their husbands? Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say that can help us better enjoy sex? Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, NIV I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10 The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, The Message Resources The resources below include affiliate links that earn us a small commission when you use the link to make a purchase. Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife You're Not Kissing Enough | Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her - Knowing Her Sexually The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex Restoring the Pleasure Formula for Intimacy - free download from Joyce Penner Resources for Adult Children of Alcoholics: Focus on the Family Only You Forever Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs Love and Life Toolbox Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: Friel Ph.D., John C., Friel M.A., Linda D. (older book, but still a good resource) You can find more resources at Joyce's website, Passionate Commitment. Visit our website: forchristianwives.com
48 min
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Dr. Kim Kimberling
When Your Teenager Starts To Date | Ep. 458
In today’s podcast episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about what to do when your teens start to date. This may feel like a daunting milestone, but they are here to help give you peace of mind plus practical help to prepare well and handle it with grace. Whatever stage of parenting you are in, or if you are a friend or relative of teens, Dr. Kim and Christina have some great ideas and advice to help you prepare, support and encourage the teens you love as they start to think about dating. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! Resources: * The God’s Design for Sex Series books are a great teaching tool * This isn’t the first time we’ve talked about kids’ dating! Check out other episodes on the topic: * * Parents’ Responsibility in Dating: Interview with Debra Fileta | Ep. 6 * Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality- Interview with Jim Burns | Ep. 22 * Ask Dr. Kim: We have a son and worry about him growing up in this sex-crazed culture… * Your spouse’s love tank can’t stay full unless you make sure to fill it up! Find out what helps give them that lovin’ feeling with our “Love Cans” resource! * Haven’t thought much about your next phase of parenting? Get our “100 Questios to Get You On the Same Page” workbook and get your head in the game & on the same team with your spouse. * Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here! * Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email or text here!
42 min
Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective
Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective
Jay Dee - Marriage Educator
SWM 068 – Jan 2020 Questions – Nudists, exhibitionism, male lingerie, pet play, ANR and more
January 2020 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: * Is nudism a sin? * Is exhibitionism okay? * Does Romans 13:14 say you shouldn't plan for sex? * Wife won't get help for trauma * How do I start an ANR? * How do I be a respectful wife when my husband is watching porn? * Is male lingerie okay? * Doggy style is too deep * Opposite sleep schedules affecting sex This month our most popular resource is Our Sexploration List - a sure-fire way to spice up your sex life. Interested in learning more? Check it out here. Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: * Adult Nursing Relationships * The Bumper Deep Trust Cushion Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference and new supporters in January get our Truth or Dare printable free. Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.
25 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
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